Love Is In The Proof
by Gorn on the sofa
Summary: A single night has changed Sheldon and Amy's lives forever. Are either of them prepared for the consequences that lie ahead? Shamy, certainly, but the gang's all here.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: The Big Bang Theory belongs to Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady, Warner Bros., CBS, etc. I'm sure I've missed somebody. At any rate, none of them are me.

**A/N: **This story is complete, but will be posted in chapters. It takes place seasons 5 to 6-ish so some instances may change, or have changed in future seasons. However it _is_ fan fiction, so I'm allowed some license :-)

**_Love Is In The Proof_**

Proof: **1**. _Mathematics,_ _Logic_. A sequence of steps, statements or demonstrations that leads to a valid conclusion.

** 2**. The state of having been tested and approved.

**_1_**

Amy Farrah Fowler was pregnant.

Sheldon Cooper sat in his spot on the sofa staring, unseeing, as the words swirled through his mind in an endless loop: _Amy's pregnant, Amy's pregnant, Amy's pregnant. _His breathing hitched as he consciously tried to fight down the panic threatening to overwhelm him.

He knew when it had happened, of course. He could pin down the moment of conception to the day, hour, perhaps even the minute. Their one and only "intimate exchange," as he euphemistically thought of it to himself, had been six weeks ago, resulting in yet another relationship reset.

"Sheldon?" Amy's voice quavered. He couldn't look at her, and found himself grateful she'd insisted he sit down as his limbs were now shaking. Swallowing, Sheldon tried to speak, but no sound came out. Maybe for the first time ever. "I know this is a shock," she said, voice low and choked with emotion. She cleared her throat, and in his peripheral vision, Sheldon noted she was hunched over even more than usual. "I did the test six times, each with a separate kit, and the results were all positive."

Silence stretched for endless minutes between them, as he sat there, numb. "Say something!" Amy snapped when the tension became too great.

Licking his lips, his gaze darting everywhere but at her, Sheldon spoke softly. "I believe you told me you were taking contraceptives to regulate your monthly cycle."

"That's it?! That's what you've got?! It's not infallible you know!"

"The probability of fertilization while on contraceptives, given they were properly used, is. . ."

"Don't you dare quote me statistics! And you're pinning all this on _me?_ You think I haven't been taking the pills consistently? How do you think I suspected I was pregnant? After I started taking contraception you could set your watch by my menstrual cycle!"

Sheldon flinched, his face twitching. He didn't like thinking about Amy's menses any more than he liked thinking about anyone's bodily functions.

"All I am saying is that statistically this is a near impossibility." He sat up straighter and looked at her for the first time since she'd asked him to have a seat on the sofa. "But then again, as a Homo Novus, I no doubt have superior sperm, capable of overcoming the effects of the most stringent contraceptives." Sheldon felt a bit of the shock start to ebb. Now that he had a logical explanation, it wasn't so unbelievable Amy could be pregnant.

He was surprised to see Amy crumple even more, wiping her eyes. Now it was she who wouldn't meet his gaze. It was baffling how she could go from yelling at him to becoming a weepy mess in a matter of seconds. Were her pregnancy hormone levels affecting her?

He knew what he _should_ do. When Amy's feelings had been hurt by Penny and Bernadette excluding her from wedding shopping, he'd been forced to cuddle with her to cheer her up. It was all this "affection" nonsense that had gotten him into this predicament in the first place. Penny insisting Amy needed more from him than he was ready to give.

He was perfectly happy with the way things were, or rather had been. He'd see her on their date nights, or Skyping, and that was more than sufficient. When she'd temporarily moved in with him, he'd told Amy Penny was "the snake in our garden," and now she'd proven him right. He hadn't been able to withstand the combined force of Amy and Penny's pressure. They were a unified front, bent on breaking him down. Why did things have to change? And when they did, why did it have to be at such a lightening pace?

With great effort, Sheldon raised his arm, silently beckoning Amy closer. He wasn't aware she could move so quickly, but there she was, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist, damp face pressed into his chest. Awkwardly, he placed his arm around her shoulders, patting her as if she were an unfamiliar dog he'd just encountered. "There, there," he said, looking around his apartment, searching for something to focus on rather than the woman secreting germ-laden tears into his t-shirt. At least it wasn't one of his favorites.

"Sheldon?" Amy snuffled, turning her head to look up at him. "What are we going to do?"

Panic gripped him again, and suddenly the discomfort he felt at her proximity was negligible. What was he supposed to tell her? Somewhere, a part of him knew he should be reassuring her things would work out, but he couldn't do it. It would be lying, and he always told the truth. His normal paradigm had shifted, the world had shifted on its axis and there was no going back.

Sheldon's breath came in short little gasps as he bolted from the couch and Amy's embrace. He began to pace the room, arms jerking as he started to reach for something, then suddenly pulled back. He began reciting the periodic table, searching desperately for a sense of calm.

He couldn't stay here. Not with her looking at him, waiting for him to produce an answer. He had to get out. He didn't know where he would go, but so long as it wasn't _here_, it would suffice. Grabbing his beige jacket, he was out the door before Amy could offer a protest.

xxxxxx

Amy stared blankly at the door, mouth agape. Had he really just left her there? No explanation, no _nothing_?

Okay, she'd known he was going to freak out, and quite frankly she'd had no idea how he was going to receive the news, but this wasn't one of the scenarios she'd imagined. Not that she had any preconceived notions. She knew what she would have _liked_ to have happened. That she would have told Sheldon the news of his impending fatherhood, and while shocked, he would have been accepting.

"Like that would ever happen," she sighed, running a hand through her hair, rising from the sofa to make herself a cup of tea. Leonard had spent the night at Penny's, and Amy was grateful he hadn't heard, or witnessed her and Sheldon's conversation. If it could even be called that.

Making herself at home, Amy filled the red kettle and set it to heating. Pulling out the box containing an assortment of teas, she chose camomile. She started reaching for the yellow mug—the one Sheldon usually gave her—but instead, took the blue one he often used. She realized the choice came from her wish to have contact, on some level, with Sheldon. Chuckling ironically, she knew she had the ultimate connection with Sheldon, now growing inside her.

Amy hadn't really wrapped her head around the impending change in her life. She'd seen all the little plus signs on the pregnancy test kits, but it really hadn't sunk in. She'd driven over to Sheldon's in a daze, having no idea how she was going tell him. In hindsight, perhaps she should have couched the information as a question from counter-factuals: _In a world where Amy Farrah Fowler is pregnant, what role does Sheldon Cooper play? _

Just then the kettle began to whistle, drawing her out of her thoughts. Watching the boiling water bubble around her tea bag, Amy found herself comparing it to the turmoil now bubbling in her life. This wasn't in her plan. Sure, she'd been on track to get Sheldon into a more intimate relationship within five years, but children hadn't even been in the flow chart. Not that she'd ruled them out, she just couldn't imagine either of them working family time into their career paths.

Now, given Sheldon's reaction, she didn't have to worry about what _they_ were going to do about about juggling work and a baby. _She _was going to have to come up with a plan. Her tea had cooled sufficiently to take a sip, and as Amy sampled it, she took a seat at the stool pulled up to the kitchen's island. The more she thought about her exchange with Sheldon, the angrier she became; the calming effect of the camomile negated.

Ever since the fateful night, Sheldon had been even more distant, consciously holding himself back from touching her in any manner. She'd even given him seventy-two hours notice requesting a mere holding of hands, which he managed to escape with some convoluted excuse. She'd given up mid-way through his diatribe claiming a headache to end their date early.

At first, Amy had been hopeful their night of intimacy was the beginning of a new phase of their relationship. Instead of a step forward, it had proven to be two steps back, and she wished it had never occurred. It simply hadn't been worth destroying what little progress they'd managed to achieve. And now it _really_ wasn't worth it, she decided.

It had been an awkward encounter, to say the least. Two virgins who intellectually knew what went where, but not really sure how to get there. It wasn't fireworks or celestial choirs, that was for sure. Amy had reached satisfaction, but that was only because she felt like she'd been waiting for the moment for so long, she was half-way there just seeing Sheldon at her door on an unscheduled night.

They'd never discussed what had brought him to her apartment that night, and since the relationship reset, Amy often wondered if it had actually happened or if she'd just imagined it. She could have convinced herself it was one of her fantasies if not for the row of plus signs lined up next to her bathroom sink.

"What a nightmare," Amy sighed again, shaking her head as she finishing her tea. Sheldon had been gone for over half an hour, and she was tired of waiting, knowing it was possible he was watching her parked car to see if she'd left. Rinsing out her mug, she started washing it so she could replace it on the shelf, then thought _screw it_, knowing the dirty mug in the sink would drive Sheldon crazy.

Gathering her purse and coat, Amy's hand was on the knob when the door pushed open, leaving her gaping once more as she stared at Sheldon.

xxxxxx

Sheldon's gaze met with Amy's as they stood on his threshold. She looked surprised to see him, which in turn surprised _him_ since this was his apartment. "You're leaving?" he asked, hopeful this hellish encounter had come to a conclusion.

"I was," she said, then started removing her coat.

_If only I'd waited a few more minutes, she would have been gone. _"Don't change your plans on my account," he said, breezing past her, shedding his jacket, then neatly hanging it on the back of his desk chair. He sat down, opening up his laptop, hoping his attention to the computer would signal his disinterest in continuing their former conversation.

Sheldon could feel Amy's presence behind him, but was determined to ignore her, tapping away at his keyboard.

"Sheldon, we need to talk."

"I don't see why," he said, staring intently at the computer's screen. "You have informed me you're pregnant, and I have digested this information. I'm not sure what else you require of me."

"What else I _require_ of you?! I _require_ that you man up and take some of the responsibility in this!"

Sheldon sat up straighter, turning slightly, but still not fully facing Amy. "Are you certain I'm the father?" He heard a strangled gasp, causing him to look up to see Amy's shocked, then outraged expression before she burst into tears.

"How can you even ask me that?" she choked out between sobs.

"Well, I only have your word on this, now don't I? You certainly didn't protest when I. . .," he swallowed, "Made my intentions known. How do I know you don't invite men to your bed on a regular basis? After all, you've been practically begging me for coitus for months."

Sheldon felt totally disconnected from his body. As if he was watching the exchange rather than being a participant. It was almost as if he had Tourette's Syndrome and couldn't stop the vitriol he was spewing at Amy. He recognized it as a symptom of his panic, but was helpless to stop it. He wished she would just go, give him time to absorb what this all meant. He needed to talk to Leonard, and that wouldn't happen if she was still here.

Amy remained standing in the middle of his living room, tears running down her face, looking so devastated he almost went to her, but if he did, she'd either take her anger out on him physically, or break down and start clutching at him again. Neither was an option. She had to go.

"Amy. . . ."

She was grabbing her coat, jamming her arms into the sleeves with such force, Sheldon was surprised the material didn't rip. The purse was the next item to be the recipient of her ire, nearly batted across the room as she swept it up from the coffee table.

"You know what, Sheldon? I don't need you. I can do this easier on my own. In fact, if you _were_ to participate, then I'd have _two_ infants to take care of! Thanks for lightening the load!" With that she turned, stomping out the door, slamming it in her wake. Seconds later, it re-opened and Amy issued her parting shot. "Oh, and by the way? You can go screw yourself!" The second door slam was even louder than the first.

Sheldon rose and stood staring at his entryway, waiting for a third expletive and door slam. He almost wished she had. Now he was left hanging with only two incidents, and he was starting to twitch. There was only one thing for it. Walking to the door, he opened it, giving it a resounding push. _Three. Thank God,_ he sighed. Suddenly, her last words came to him and he spoke to the empty room.

"Amy! Language!"


	2. Chapter 2

**_2_**

Leonard was sitting on Penny's couch when he heard the door across the hall slam, then moments later, shouting and a second banging. Looking at his girlfriend, he saw the surprise he was feeling reflected on her face.

"What was that?" he asked, as if Penny would have a clue about his room mate.

"You got me," she said, handing him a cup of coffee, as she joined him on the sofa. He was about to speak, when a third slam caused them both to jump.

"That sounded like Amy," Penny said looking towards her own door, then back at Leonard. "Was she meeting with Sheldon this morning?"

"Not that I know of. Sheldon didn't say anything to me. Check your phone. If they're fighting, maybe Amy sent you a text."

Reaching over, Penny retrieved her phone. "Nope. Oh wait, she just sent one. She says she needs to talk, but doesn't want to do it while you're here."

Leonard took a large sip of his coffee, sighed, and set the mug down on the table positioned before the sofa. He'd really been looking forward to spending a relaxing Sunday morning with Penny, but as per usual, Sheldon managed to throw a wrench in the works.

Expelling his breath, Leonard stood. "I suppose I should go see what that was about, and you can talk to Amy."

"I guess," Penny exhaled. "I was looking forward to spending the day with you," she pouted. Draping her arms around Leonard's neck, Penny pulled him into a long, sweet kiss.

"Hold that thought. I'll be back as soon as I can. Don't let Amy stay forever!" Wrapping his robe over his shorts and t-shirt, Leonard was in the process of tying the sash as he walked through the door into his apartment. Sheldon was on the sofa in his usual spot, and jumped as Leonard entered. .

Sheldon's hand was resting on his chest, breathing hard. "Oh good. I thought you were Amy."

Leonard stood before him, arms crossed. "Yeah, we heard that. I didn't know she was coming over."

Sheldon was practically curled into a ball, looking at the floor, rather than him. "I didn't know she was either."

"What? No seventy-two hour notice she wanted to see you in person?" Leonard teased.

"No, it was a complete breach of Relationship Agreement parameters," he said quietly, still staring at the floor.

Sheldon didn't look good. He was always rather colorless, but now he appeared void of any pigmentation. From the way he was curled protectively in on himself, Leonard surmised his stomach was bothering him as well.

Leonard was concerned. "You okay, Buddy?"

Sheldon slowly shook his head back and forth. "I'm in Hell, Leonard."

Shifting uncomfortably, Leonard just knew he was going to regret the next words out of his mouth. "You wanna talk about it?"

"No." Sheldon was still looking at the floor as if he'd find his answers there. Relieved he didn't have to offer advice Sheldon would reject, Leonard moved to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. He was filling the carafe with water when from the other room, Sheldon blurted, "Amy's pregnant."

The pot slipped from Leonard's grasp, fortuitously landing in the sink, where it shattered. Leonard whipped around so fast, he rammed into the kitchen island.

"WHAT?! How is that even possible?"

"Since you and Penny regularly engage in coitus, I would think you would know."

Leonard huffed an exaggerated sigh. "I know where babies come from. What I don't get is how _you_ fathered one!"

Sheldon looked indignant. "I didn't say I was the father."

"Come on, Sheldon. This is Amy we're talking about! There is only one person on this planet Amy would consider having sex with."

"I don't know about that," he said, thinking for a moment. "There was that Zack fellow Penny dated for awhile. Amy had the hots for him. I'm sure there are any number of men that—to use the vernacular-get her motor running."

"Amy finding a man attractive isn't the same as wanting to sleep with him. Do you want to sleep with every attractive woman you see?" Leonard held up a hand, shaking his head. "Wait. Don't answer that; I forgot who I was talking to."

"How could you forget? I'm the only one in the room."

Leonard pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to forestal the headache he felt forming. "I know that, Sheldon. Never mind." Re-adjusting his glasses, Leonard looked at his roommate still sitting on the sofa. His posture was straighter, but his arms were still tucked in, giving the impression he was trying to look smaller than he was. Quite the feat with his height. "All I'm saying is Amy is committed to you. While it is physically possible she slept with someone else, the chances are astronomical, and you know it."

Leonard watched Sheldon look from side to side, then get up, crossing to the kitchen to stand opposite him. "I know. You're right, " he confessed.. "I am the flame to which her moth-like personality is drawn. I just don't want it to be true," he added quietly.

"It is kind of hard to wrap your head around," Leonard agreed. _Especially when it's Sheldon, of all people, _he thought. The silence between them was beginning to get uncomfortable. Leonard grinned, reaching across the island to punch Sheldon lightly on the arm. "So, you and Amy, huh? You dog!"

"Likening me to a canine implies you see me as someone who has coital relations on a frequent basis with multiple partners. I assure you it was only the one time. November sixteenth, eight-thirty P.M."

Leonard moved to cover his ears, but was too late. "More than I needed to know!"

"And listening to you and Penny, _repeatedly_ I might add, is more than _I_ need to know."

"Sheldon, we're not talking about Penny and me. We're talking about you and Amy and the implications of your impending fatherhood."

"There's nothing to talk about. Amy informed me she's quite capable of raising the child on her own and has specifically exempted me." Sheldon's gaze didn't meet his as he toyed with the mug Leonard had pulled down from the cupboard.

"And you're really okay with that? How would you feel if she decides to terminate the pregnancy?"

Sheldon pulled out a stool and took a seat. "You mean have an abortion," he stated, staring off into space. "I hadn't really considered that." He sat there for long moments and Leonard could have sworn he could see Sheldon's mind sifting through the possibilities. "I suppose that is her decision. It's her body, after all."

"But how would _you_ feel?" Leonard pressed. "Knowing it was your child. The combination of your DNA and Amy's? You were ready to grow a baby in a petri dish not that long ago, and now you have the opportunity to have a child the 'old fashioned way' and you're rejecting it?" Again Sheldon's face took on the blank look, then it morphed into fright. He was shaking his head, slowly at first, then with more conviction.

"No! Nonononono! I _can't_ have a baby, Leonard! They're living, breathing germ factories! They smell! They need constant attention! I have to think of my work! How will I ever realize my dream of a Nobel Prize if I can't concentrate on my theories?" Sheldon was fast working himself into a panic, and that hadn't been Leonard's goal.

"Sheldon, calm down! I'm just saying this is something the two of you need to discuss calmly and work through. There's no easy answer."

Sheldon waved his hand dismissively. "This is all Amy and Penny's fault," he said, as if he hadn't heard a thing Leonard had said. Leonard pulled out the stool on the opposite side of the island, positioning himself in Sheldon's line of sight. He was confused. What did Penny have to do with any of this?

"Do you honestly think this is Amy's fault? And Penny's? I know you try to hold Penny accountable for every bad thing that's happened to you, but I don't think she's the reason Amy's pregnant. That's all on you, my friend." Sheldon got up and moved back to his computer, essentially dismissing him. It was a tactic Leonard was all too familiar with. Whenever Sheldon couldn't refute the evidence presented to him, he ignored it, and the person delivering it.

"She's the one who served me the alcohol and kept pushing," Sheldon said, staring intently at the screen of his laptop.

Leonard's eyebrows wrinkled. "I'm not following. What alcohol? What pushing?"

Sheldon gave an exaggerated sigh, turning to face him. "I was confused about something Amy wanted, and erroneously thought Penny might be able to shed some light on the subject." He shook his head, snorting. "Boy, was I wrong."

Leonard got up and walked around the island to stand before Sheldon once more "Okay, so you wound up at the Cheesecake Factory and you ordered a drink? A real drink?"

"Yes, Leonard, a real drink. That's what one usually has at a real bar." His condescending tone was making Leonard angry, but he felt he had to get to the bottom of this. He was starting to see how Penny giving Sheldon a drink might have led to some irresponsible behavior, but it hardly made her culpable in Amy's pregnancy.

"So, you got drunk and got a little horny."

Sheldon jumped. "I assure you it was nothing like that. And you know I don't appreciate the implications of that word." He turned back to the computer.

"Well, Sheldon," Leonard sighed, crossing his arms, leaning back against the island countertop, "The alcohol loosened you up enough for you to express how you really feel about Amy. They don't call it 'liquid courage' for nothing."

Looking up from his computer, Sheldon once again gave him a derisive stare. "I know the colloquial term Leonard, but I assure you it wasn't my intent to get drunk and have 'my way' with Amy."

"Then what was your intent?"

Sheldon sat motionless for long moments, then turned to him. "Penny said if I had questions about Amy, I needed to talk to her. After plying me with alcohol, she practically pushed me out the door instructing me to go over to her apartment."

"'Plying you with alcohol?' How many drinks did you have?"

"Two. They were that tea mixture Penny introduced me to."

Leonard thought for a minute. _Tea mixture? What kind of tea. . . ._ "You mean a Long Island iced tea?"

"Yes. I believe that's the one." Sheldon shook his head in wonder. "Those people in New York certainly know their way around tea. It must have been the colonial Dutch and British influences that have made them so proficient."

"Yeah, I'm sure that's the reason," Leonard said, knowing Sheldon wouldn't catch the sarcasm. "You do realize those are almost pure alcohol, don't you? There's like four different shots in them, so in essence you had eight drinks."

Sheldon looked shocked. "Well it's no wonder I lost my mind! This is even more Penny's fault! She knew of my emotional turmoil and yet forced her evil concoctions down my throat!"

"'Forced?' Sheldon, she's a responsible bartender. A. she wouldn't force a drink on anyone, and B. if she thought you'd had too much she wouldn't have let you leave. She would have called me or Amy to come pick you up."

"Well, we both know Penny's standard of intoxication and the rest of the populace's are at opposite ends of the spectrum."

Grinding his teeth, Leonard clenched back the words he wanted to say in Penny's defense. He and Sheldon would soon be arguing about _his_ girlfriend rather than Sheldon's. Was he doing this on purpose? _No_, he decided. _This is just Sheldon. He doesn't understand the subtleties of Human behavior enough to try to manipulate me._

"Sheldon, that's not the point. I'm trying to understand how two drinks, albeit two strong drinks, caused you to suddenly loose all your phobic inhibitions and have sex with Amy."

Sheldon flinched at the word "sex" as if Leonard's use of the word had been a form of profanity. Suddenly, his roommate was on his feet, fleeing towards his room. "I can't talk about this anymore!" he shouted, then seconds later came the sound of a slamming door.

Leonard just stood there, unsure of what to do. Slamming doors seemed to be the order of the day.


	3. Chapter 3

**_A/N: _**Thank you for the reviews and follows; they're very much appreciated!

**_3_**

Penny texted Amy: **_Coast is clear_**. A little over a minute later there was a knock. She'd been waiting, so opened the door immediately to find Amy clutching her purse, wiping her cheeks with her free hand.

"Hey, Bestie," she said, smiling tremulously.

"Oh, Sweetie! What's wrong?" she asked, pulling the distraught woman into her arms. Amy sank into her embrace, releasing a fresh wave of tears.

"I think I've lost Sheldon for good," she sniffed, clinging to her even tighter. Penny held her for a few moments then gently pushed her back, smoothing Amy's hair from her face.

"Come on. Sit down and tell me what happened." She handed Amy a napkin and watched as her friend dabbed at her eyes. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Maybe some tea? Do you have something without caffeine?"

Penny looked through her meager collection. She'd only started keeping tea around since she'd met Sheldon, and then Amy. There was the brand Sheldon preferred and Amy's usual, both of which contained caffeine. "Sorry, just these two," she said, holding up the packets.

"Then just tepid water, please." Penny nodded, wondering why caffeine was suddenly an issue. She ran the tap until the water was hot, filled a mug, then took a fortifying breath before turning back to Amy.

"We, uh, heard the door slamming," Penny ventured delicately as she handed Amy the mug. She took a sip, averting her gaze. Her friend usually wasn't this evasive. As she waited for Amy to speak, Penny took a drink of her now cold coffee.

"I'm pregnant," Amy stated, causing Penny to choke on the bitter liquid. Penny coughed, then swallowed.

"Excuse me, WHAT?"

"I'm pregnant," Amy repeated. "I spoke clearly. From your physical reaction I would have thought you heard me the first time." Amy's sharpness caught her off guard, and Penny blinked rapidly.

"It's just kind of a shock." She sat there for a minute trying to absorb the information. "I mean, you and Sheldon? And you didn't tell me?" She couldn't decide if she was angry Amy hadn't confided in her, or grateful she hadn't had to hear about their encounter in excruciating, clinical detail.

Amy was still looking at her mug and cracked a wry grin. "How do you think I felt? I certainly didn't expect something like this after one encounter."

"One? As in a single occurrence?"

Amy's gaze finally met hers as she nodded. "Do you know what the odds of that happening are? My chances at winning the lottery are greater."

"Wait a second. Didn't you tell me you were on the pill to help regulate. . .you know, stuff?" Penny felt her cheeks grow warm. Amy might not be embarrassed about talking about bodily functions but she didn't like discussing it.

Amy nodded again. "Decreasing the odds of conception even further. I think we could class this child as a bona fide miracle."

"Some miracle," Penny mumbled. "I think I'm going to need something stronger to have this conversation," she said, standing to walk back over to the kitchen to refill her coffee. Reaching to the top of her refrigerator, Penny pulled down a bottle of Kaluha from her "liquor cabinet" and poured a generous amount into her mug. She took a large sip, briefly closing her eyes as she prepared herself for the coming discussion. She was about to offer Amy a shot as well, then suddenly realized why Amy had opted for no caffeine.

Sitting back down on the sofa, Penny faced her friend. The distraught look on Amy's face made her heart ache and

Penny pulled her in for another hug. Amy's head was resting on her shoulder as Penny rubbed her arm in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.

"Tell me what happened," she encouraged.

"Well, when I told Sheldon I was pregnant. . ."

"I think you need to start further back than that. We'll get to today in a minute. How long have you known? When did this happen?"

Amy sat back up, facing Penny. "That is two different questions. To answer the first, I found out yesterday. I took six different pregnancy tests, all of which showed a positive result. Since Sheldon and I were only together the one time, conception happened about six weeks ago."

"Holy crap on a cracker," Penny mused.

"To say the least," Amy sighed.

Penny tried to remember what had happened six weeks prior. Sheldon was always having one crisis or another, so trying to pin down which event would have sent him to Amy's was difficult. Most of the time he only saw his girlfriend on date nights, and Penny got the impression their "getting down to business" wasn't the result of a Star Trek marathon.

Amy was looking down at her hands. "He'd been drinking," she confessed.

"Sheldon? Really?"

Amy's gaze connected with hers again. "You don't remember? You're the one who served him." Penny tried to recall when she would have given Sheldon alcohol. Suddenly, it came back to her.

"Oh! I remember that night!" she cried, happy she'd connected the dots. "Yeah, he came in and asked for a Long Island iced tea. I reminded him that it wasn't _really_ tea, but he just waved me off and told me to 'fulfill his request before he called the manager.'"

"He said something about talking to you that night," Amy said. "Well, actually, he didn't use the term 'talk.' I believe he was placing the blame on you for showing up at my apartment unannounced."

Penny snorted. "Why am I not surprised?"

"It was obvious he was not in total command of his faculties," Amy continued, "so I escorted him in, and told him to sit down while I offered him a hot, sobering beverage."

"He doesn't like to drink coffee," Penny observed.

Nodding her head, Amy agreed. "Not in most instances, but I believe he realized the necessity of regaining his equilibrium."

"You know coffee doesn't really work," Penny said, looking at Amy out of the corner of her eye, wondering how she was going to react being corrected by a person without a degree.

"Yes, I know," Amy said quietly. "In this case I believed it was more the perception of an accepted social convention that would help him. A bit of a placebo effect."

Penny bobbed her head. She'd often "placeboed" Sheldon in an effort to get him to act in a more acceptable fashion. "So what happened? I'm guessing he didn't sober up any time soon."

Amy looked uncomfortable, moving around almost as much as Sheldon did when confronted with something unpleasant. "We were sitting on the sofa, not saying anything, when suddenly he turned to me and said, 'Penny keeps asking me when we're going to "get together." She asked me again tonight. I don't know how many times I've told her we're together on date nights.' Beyond the usual naivety, I was stunned. Sheldon won't go anywhere near the topic of us being more physical."

None of this was news to Penny. She remembered the day after their failed Vegas trip, when Amy had been over the moon because she and Sheldon had engaged in virtual coitus. If she was that elated over role-playing, why hadn't the real deal been more of a big deal? Amy hadn't said word one to her about she and Sheldon "doing the nasty." She doubted Amy had confided in Bernadette, or Penny would have heard of it by now.

"So how come I didn't hear about you and Sheldon getting together?" Even to her own ears Penny's voice sounded a bit hurt. She hadn't meant for it to come out that way, but she couldn't help feeling a little slighted. After all the hours of listening, consoling and advising Amy, she should have been rewarded with some good gossip. In a way, she almost felt cheated.

Amy reached over, squeezing her hand. "I'm sorry, Bestie. I didn't mean to exclude you, or Bernadette for that matter. It's just. . . . Well, lets just say it wasn't the night I'd been dreaming of, and I guess I was too embarrassed to talk about it." Amy's gaze slid from Penny's as she dropped her hand.

Penny wrapped her arms around Amy again. "Oh, Sweetie, I'm sorry!" Amy was sniffling and wiping her eyes as she held her. She wasn't crying as earnestly as before, but it was making Penny ache for her anew. "You know," Penny whispered as she stroked Amy's hair, "My first time with Leonard wasn't exactly magic."

Sitting up, Amy faced her with a look of wonder. "Really? You seem so happy now."

"Well, like anything, it takes a little practice," Penny smiled. "Fortunately, it was an assignment we were both were committed to." That made Amy smile for a moment, but the expression quickly faded.

"Sheldon will never touch me again."

"Oh, I don't know. Once he's 'tasted forbidden fruit' and all that. I'm sure he's still a little freaked out, but he'll get over it."

"No, he won't," Amy stated emphatically. "Since that night the only way Sheldon would consent to speak me was to have a relationship reset."

"A what?"

"A relationship reset. It's going back to a time we both agree things were working between us. Like re-booting a computer." Penny sat there just staring at Amy as if she'd truly gone off the deep end. _Had a sexual mishap caused her to snap? Did she really think either of them could block the event from their minds? It sounded like something Sheldon would attempt, but Amy seemed stronger than that._

"Amy, it's out there. It happened. You can't just ignore it. Especially now," she said, inadvertently casting a glance at Amy's stomach.

Amy looked down. She sat staring at her mid-section and Penny didn't know if she was starting to come to grips with the truth or if she was trying to will her pregnancy away.

"I didn't think we needed to go back as far as Sheldon did, but I accepted his terms because," here she faltered again, a catch in her voice, "I can't imagine my life without him." Penny was surprised Amy had any more tears in her, but she'd proven her wrong. "Last week was the first time I've seen him other than to Skype. I followed the Relationship Agreement to the letter, giving him seventy-two hours notice that I wished to hold hands on our date night. He said something about our reset pre-dating hand holding and he wouldn't be engaging in that 'hippy dippy' practice. It was _holding hands_ for Christ's sake!" Amy's hand flew to her mouth, as if the action could take back the profanity. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. . ."

"It's okay," Penny interrupted her, grinning. "I think I would be using stronger language than that if it was me. Seriously, Ames? You're going to let him get away with this?"

"What choice do I have?"

"Well, you don't have to knuckle under to every edict that comes from that nut case's mouth! Tell him to go screw his relationship agreement!"

Amy looked slightly abashed. "I did tell him to go screw something, but it was himself, not the relationship agreement."

Penny was shocked, but pleased. She held up her hand to high-five her friend. "Way to go Ames!" Amy slapped her palm with more force than necessary, but at least she was looking more like herself. "Look, I think you were crazy to sign his stupid agreement in the first place," Penny said, holding up both her hands, "But it's your life. I just hope you didn't feel pressured into accepting the agreement because you thought it was the only way you'd ever have a physical relationship with him."

Amy was thoughtful for a moment, then looked up at her. "Initially, I too found the document helpful. I knew what Sheldon expected of me, and I in turn knew what to expect from him. Or rather, what his limitations were going to be." She paused, as if she was trying to figure out what to say next.

"And now?" Penny prompted.

"I find it's too restrictive. It doesn't allow for any spontaneity. I mean how the hell do I know I'm going to want to hold his hand three days out?" Amy gave a little chuckle. "Okay, that's not such a stretch. I always want to hold his hand. But do you know what happened when I requested hand holding be considered standard protocol for subsequent date nights? He stated it was excessive and quoted some section of that damned agreement which addressed 'abuse of physical contact!' I wonder where he sees unscheduled coitus falling into his paradigm."

Penny took a large swig of her Kaluha-laced coffee for fortification. _These two both need to be knocked up-side the head!_ "I'm not sure what to say to that."

Amy sank back against the couch cushions. "You and me both, Sister."

Amy seemed to have calmed down to the point Penny thought she could venture a little deeper. Maybe some day she'd get the details of their night together, but for now, she wanted to know what had transpired this morning. Rising to refill her coffee mug, she gestured towards Amy, silently asking if she needed more water.

"I'm good, thanks." She stared at the mug in her hands, then Penny saw Amy look up, following her with her gaze as she moved around the kitchen. "Thanks for listening."

Penny's response was immediate. "Of course, Sweetie! That's what friends are for!"

"And you are a good one," Amy stated seriously. Amy was blunt to the point of annoyance most times, but every once in a while, she seemed like a normal person and Penny truly enjoyed her company. So now, she was on a mission. She was going to get Amy and Sheldon back together—and on the same page—if it killed her. This time she filled her cup just with coffee, and joined Amy on the sofa.

"Do you feel like talking about what happened this morning?" she ventured.

Amy took a deep breath and focused her eyes on the coffee table. "As you've probably guessed, I went to see Sheldon to inform him of my. . .discovery." She stared at the ceiling, blinking back tears. "You know, I expected him to freak out—I was freaking out—but I didn't expect him to accuse me of sleeping with someone else."

"Sheldon said that?! I'm going to kill the bastard!" Penny was already half-standing when Amy pulled her back down to the couch.

"That's not going to solve anything. While normally I would relish you defending my honor in a warrior-like fashion, I don't believe he's in a place to listen to you or any one else for that matter."

"Leonard will set him straight," Penny stated confidently.

"I'm not so sure. Now that I've had some time to think about our encounter, I believe Sheldon's going to need some time to process this information. I've had more time to think about the ramifications than he has. Perhaps he'll be more reasonable after he's worked things out."

Penny gave her friend a sympathetic look, patting her hand. "Oh, Ames, I think you're deluding yourself. I agree, he needs to process, but I think you're being overly optimistic about him accepting it. You know how stubborn he is."

Amy sighed again. "Unfortunately, I do." Her gaze swept the apartment, looking towards the door as if she was waiting for Sheldon to walk through it. "Penny, what am I going to do?" Just then Penny's phone buzzed, reverberating on the coffee table.

"Hold that thought," Penny said, picking up her phone and scanning the text message. **_Sheldon's stormed off to his room. How's Amy?_**

**_We're getting there. Hang tight._** Penny knew her response probably didn't help. She could envision Leonard pacing the living room, trapped between wanting to escape the apartment with a sulking Sheldon, and interrupting her and Amy. Her friend stood, starting to gather her purse and coat.

"I should be going. I've obviously disturbed your Sunday with Leonard and. . ."

"Sit down," Penny commanded. "We're not done and Leonard can wait." Amy looked surprised at her sharp tone, but did as she was bid.

"Now, I can't promise you Sheldon's going to come around and step up to the plate. You, better than anyone know he's the master of denial. What I _can_ promise is that you're not alone in this." Penny squeezed Amy's hands, giving her what she hoped was a reassuring smile. "You have me, and Leonard. I'm sure Raj and Bernadette will be on board. Hell, I bet even Howard would be willing to lend a hand."

Amy nodded, blinking rapidly and sniffling. "You're right. You're all such good friends. Sometimes I think the best part of meeting Sheldon was getting to know all of you."

Now Penny's eyes were stinging with unshed tears. "Oh, Sweetie," Penny crooned, pulling her into yet another hug. "You know the old saying? That it takes a village to raise a child? We'll be your village." With her head resting on Penny's shoulder, Amy didn't speak, only let the tears she'd been trying to hold back flow freely. After a few minutes she sat up, eyes red and puffy but she was smiling.

"I like the thought of you being my Village People."


	4. Chapter 4

**_4_**

Sheldon lay on his bed, curled as tightly as his tall frame would allow. _This can't be happening_, he thought. _Everything was on track. My work is producing more results than ever. The Nobel is within my grasp. Nothing is more important than that. Nothing!_ _It's all HER fault! SHE'S the one who ruined all of it!_ Even as the thoughts entered his mind, he knew placing the blame on Amy was unfair. But he _needed_ to place blame somewhere. _He, _Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper, could not be the one at fault. _It was Penny._

Lately, she was behind every setback that happened to him. Pushing him, telling him to "man up". Telling him that if he didn't have some kind of physical relationship with Amy he was going to loose her. Was that just Penny's perception or had Amy told her she was looking for someone else?

Sheldon was sure he didn't need Amy. Granted, the moments he spent with her were some of the most pleasant he'd had, but she kept pushing him too. Telling him he had to get over his need for closure. That change was good. _What hokum! _Well, the kind of change she'd forced on him today certainly wasn't good! _A baby. _A squalling, needy being that would suck up all his time and attention like a black hole, leaving his work to wither and die. A true crime against Humanity!

Flipping over, Sheldon faced his comic book collection. It gave him a sense of calm staring at their brightly colored covers. It was something he could count on. The heroes always won; the villain overcome. Of course the hero almost always got the girl. If he didn't, he would eventually. Again, the all-important closure.

Now his life had a gaping hole. Amy walked out on him, leaving him feeling as if he were grasping for a rope that was his salvation, just centimeters out of his reach. He didn't need her. He didn't! Superman couldn't defeat Lex Luthor when he was busy mooning over Lois Lane. For the good of the planet, Superman had to put her aside until evil was defeated. Amy had to be put aside until he defeated Kripke and was awarded the Nobel Prize. It was an immutable law of the Universe.

A baby changed everything. If Clark and Lois had a child, wouldn't Superman always think twice before rushing headlong into danger? What if he hesitated and Luthor won? Thank goodness Amy had told him she didn't need him! Now he could concentrate on besting Kripke. Yes, Amy out of his life was the best thing that could have happened to him. So why did his chest hurting every time he took a breath? How come his stomach felt as if he'd swallowed something alive?

Sheldon turned again, this time straightening his limbs, staring at the ceiling. He wished it was night so he could see his glow-in-the-dark stars. As it was, he could just make out a few of the stickers, but he knew their patterns so well he could mentally map his accurate representations of constellations. He knew why he was concentrating so hard on his ceiling. Hovering just on the edge of his consciousness were the memories of _that_ night. He hadn't obsessed on it. In fact, he'd used every mental trick he had at his disposal to _not_ think about it. But now, the memories were threatening to overwhelm him. He didn't want to remember. The panic he'd felt after that night was starting to reassert itself, and he found his hands clenching the bed's comforter as the memories crashed in.

xxxxxx

Sheldon walked up to the bar in the Cheesecake Factory, taking a seat. He'd counted on Penny tending the bar and he wasn't disappointed. As she turned around, her visage went from surprised to annoyed, and although he'd registered the expression, he didn't care. She usually looked at him in that fashion.

"Well, look what the cat dragged in," Penny drawled sardonically, finishing her task of replacing clean glassware.

Sheldon sat up straighter, meeting Penny's gaze. "Cats are not allowed in eating establishments. And even if they were, it would take a sabre tooth tiger to move someone of my mass."

"You know, if you were _trying_ to be sarcastic I'd think that was funny, but the scary part is, I know you're serious."

"What's scary is the thought of a huge cat having me by the neck and dragging me in here!"

Penny's eyes rolled as she shook her head. "Whatever, Sheldon. What'll you have?"

"I'll have a little less of your attitude!"

He watched Penny take a deep breath, placing her hands on the edge of the bar, to support her weight. "What. Would. You. Like. To. Drink?"

"Well, what I'd like and what you have to offer are two different things."

"Sheldon!"

He jumped at her sharp tone, realizing he'd have to come up with something or she'd throw him out, and he really did need to talk to her. "What about some of that tea you made me the last time I was here?"

Penny blinked. "Really? You _do_ know they contain alcohol right? I know at the time I let you believe it was just tea, but after you ended up puking your guts out into Wil Wheaton's bushes I think a genius like you would have figured it out."

"How did you find out about that?" He asked, his voice cracking.

"Word gets around. So. You still want that drink, Cowboy?"

He thought about it for a moment. He'd eaten a full dinner that was digesting, and given his weight and the amount of alcohol the drink was likely to contain, he felt he could safely consume the beverage without losing his pants. "Yes, please," he said.

Penny started fixing his drink as his mind wandered, wondering how he was going to bring up the topic of Amy and her request. Usually Penny asked him how Amy was, when she was perfectly aware of Amy's state of health.

"So, how's Amy?" she asked and Sheldon breathed a sigh of relief. _Thank goodness._

"I would think you would know better than me. After all, I assume you two have communicated at least once today."

Penny was giving him that exasperated look again. Honestly, he didn't understand why she looked irritated when she knew the answer to her own question.

"It's called _con-ver-sa-tion._ You should try it some time."

Sheldon tried to think what would be an appropriate response. "Amy is well." In the recesses of his mind he heard his mother's voice—_be polite now, Shelly. _"Thank you for asking."

"There, now. That wasn't so hard, was it?" Penny asked, placing the drink before him. He didn't have an answer, so he dove right in to the reason he'd come to the bar.

"Amy has asked me to accompany her to a conference on neurobiology."

Penny started restocking a glass with stir sticks. "Yeah, she told me she had some conference thingy she's going to next week. I thought she was going to invite me as her 'plus one' again, so before she could even ask, I told her I was busy. No amount of spa services could convince me to go after the last time."

Sheldon took a sip of his drink through the narrow straw. He could taste the alcohol, but there was enough Coke that it wasn't overpowering. He wished he could talk to Penny about how he felt without the intoxicant, but the words just wouldn't come out. Now he knew how Raj felt. "I should have said I was busy," he mused. Sitting there, staring at his drink, he took a long draught, emptying half the glass.

When he looked up, Penny was staring at him. "You better take it easy there, Sheldon. You don't need a repeat of last time." He nodded as he worked out how long it would take for the effects of the alcohol to kick in. It wasn't long before he felt slightly dizzy. His math must have been off and he fought the urge to giggle at the absurdity. Instead, he took a deep breath.

"She wants to share a room." There. He'd said it.

Penny froze, stopping whatever mundane task she was engaged in. "Liiiiiiike boyfriend/girlfriend?"

"Yes, I suppose that's what she has in mind." Sheldon sighed, feeling his face grow warm.

"Wow. Who knew a person could blush all the way down their neck?"

His patented look of haughty derision was lost on her. "The physical manifestation of my discomfort is not the issue here. I came to you for advice!"

"Well, Tex, you came to the right place," she replied, leaning onto the bar, pretending to wipe it down with a rag. "The way I see it, you've got two options." Here she stopped, prompting him to ask,

"Such as?"

"The first, and most obvious, is to say you've changed your mind. You're Aunt Velma is coming to town and you're obligated to entertain her for the weekend."

"But I don't have an Aunt Velma."

"Then make something else up. I'm sure if you dug deep enough you could come up with something plausible."

"You mean like when I pretended to have a cousin Leo.

Penny pursed her lips. "Yeah, like that."

"Amy's smart. She'd never fall for something like that. Where as you were rather easily fooled."

Penny looked offended but he didn't care. People often had that expression when he spoke to them. "Then it looks like you're stuck." She started to turn away and Sheldon began to panic.

"Wait a minute! That doesn't solve my dilemma!"

Penny thought about it for a minute, then shrugged. "Well, I guess you're just going to have to sleep with her." Seconds before, he'd taken another large sip from his drink, and now it was being spewed all over the bar and onto Penny. "Hey! Watch it!"

_Sleep with her? _Sheldon wondered how much _she'd_ been drinking. He started sputtering, his right eye twitching when Penny held up the hand that wasn't cleaning Long Island ice tea from the front of her uniform.

"I didn't mean _sleep_ with her, sleep with her. Like in the same bed or anything. Most hotel rooms come with two beds, or can."

Sheldon gave Penny a long-suffering sigh. "We've been over this when we went to the Interdisciplinary Studies Symposium. Knowing too much about a person's bathroom routine. . ."

"Yeah, yeah," Penny interrupted him. "You need to find out about it sooner or later."

He thought about that. "No I don't."

Penny leaned over the bar, her face inches from his. "Sheldon, sooner or later you have to learn these things. You had to with Leonard, and that wasn't so bad, was it?"

"Yes, but he's another male. Amy's. . .well, she's not."

"Figured that out all on your own, did ya?" Penny was smirking at him. Why did she always have to torture him before she offered a viable solution?

"Penny, please. I, um, I need. . . ."

She leaned in closer. "Yes, Sheldon? What do you need?"

She was going to make him say it. "Ineedyouradvice."

"I'm sorry, Sweetie," she said, blinking rapidly. "I didn't catch that. What do you need?"

He closed his eyes, took a steadying breath, then opened his eyes to meet her gaze. "I need your advice." Sheldon was sure she was going to protract this conversation even further when he noticed his drink had vanished. _When had he finished it?_

Penny nodded at his empty glass. "You want another?"

He should stop. He'd watched how many shots of different liquor she'd poured into his first glass, and knew by the time all that alcohol hit his bloodstream, he was likely to loosen up further than he needed to, but he knew the conversation wasn't going to get any easier. If anything, it was likely to get even more uncomfortable.

"Yes, please, but could you add more Coke?" Penny nodded and added an extra splash of cola. She handed him the drink, then jerked her head towards the other end of the bar.

"I've got to take care of them, then we'll finish our talk, okay?" Sheldon waved her off, watching her interact with the new couple. She was more professional with them than she was with him, but that was to be expected when they were strangers. He watched the man slide his hand over the woman's and their fingers entwine. She smiled up at the man and he seemed pleased with her response. Interesting. Amy looked like that when he grudgingly took her hand, but he never felt like smiling as the other man was. Would there ever be a time when touching someone didn't feel like a chore and an obligation?

Penny returned to his end of the bar. "Okay, now where were we?"

"You were going to tell me how I'm going to get out of going to this conference with Amy."

Pursing her lips, Penny tapped them with her index finger. "No, I think we were talking about how you were going to sleep in the same room as Amy."

"If you knew at what point our conversation had ended, why did you ask?" He was confused, and he didn't think he could attribute it to the Long Island ice tea.

"Never mind," she said. Her next words took him by surprise. "I know you've said you haven't ruled out the possibility of a physical relationship with Amy, but have you given any thought to _when_ you might actually do that?"

"Oh, here we go. Another attempt at getting me to have coitus with Amy." He shook his head back and forth, making his vision swim. "Push, push push."

Penny looked a little hesitant. "I just thought if you tried a little something, like kissing her for example, some of your anxiety over sharing a room with her would be lessened." The notion was actually making some kind of sense to Sheldon, and he wondered if it was really a good idea, or if the drinks were just making it seem like one.

"Maybe," he said, drawing his finger through the condensation his glass had left on the bar. He was looking at the pattern he was making rather than Penny. "You don't think that would just make Amy keep asking for more?"

"Maybe," she said, repeating his word back at him. "But it's possible after you kiss her, maybe _you_ would be the one to want more."

Sheldon did let his giggle out this time. Waving his hand at the preposterous notion, he smiled up at Penny. "Get a hold of yourself, woman! Like that would ever happen!"

"Yeah, you're right. I forgot who I was talking to for a minute." Penny looked up at the clock. "My shift is over in about a half an hour. Finish your drink and I'll give you a ride home, okay?"

"But you didn't solve my problem!" he whined. Penny patted his hand and he didn't even flinch.

"We'll keep working on it. I gotta check on my other customers." Sheldon watched her walk away, then gazed at his hand. Her germ-laden fingers had touched his and he didn't care. He didn't even feel the need to grab an anti-bacterial wipe from the pocket of his windbreaker. Fascinating. He was even conscious of her having touched him and it wasn't evoking revulsion. Had the alcohol done this to him?

Suddenly he thought of Amy, and Penny's advice to initiate some form of physical contact before they went to the conference. It had been a ridiculous suggestion earlier, but now it was making some sort of weird sense. He should go see her. Maybe if they just talked about his apprehensions it would be enough.

Reaching into his pants for his wallet, Sheldon left two twenties on the bar. It had to be more than sufficient to cover the cost of the drinks, plus allow for a generous tip. Penny had dispensed advice after all, and he figured even the extra cash was well below the going rate for therapists. She was still busy with her patrons, but knew she'd figure out he'd gone by the money tucked under his nearly empty glass.

Sheldon left the restaurant debating whether to risk a cab, or whether the bus was the cleaner option. He also wondered if seeing Amy at this time of the night was a good idea. Perhaps he should go back and accept Penny's offer of a ride. He was still dithering when the bus pulled up and Sheldon felt his decision had been made. He was going to do this. He'd go to Amy's and kiss her before his magic potion wore off. He found himself giggling again, earning concerned looks from the few riders on the bus.

Sheldon was deposited a block from Amy's building and he took a breath of the cold night air. He'd begun to feel dizzier on the bus and the fresh air helped. Although, there seemed to be something wrong with his feet because walking in a straight line was a bit of a challenge.

Looking up, Sheldon noted the light in Amy's apartment was on. He wished the windows had been dark. Now that he was here, he had no excuse to fall back on when Penny questioned him, and he knew she would. Amy's apartment was on the third floor, and even though her elevator worked, Sheldon opted for the stairs. Maybe he'd think of something to say in the extra time it would take to walk up.

Before he realized it, he was standing outside Amy's door. Reaching out a finger, he traced the brass numerals, comforted by their resemblance to Pi.

He was stalling. Wiping damp palms against khaki pants, Sheldon closed his eyes, took a deep breath and began his ritual knocking. Upon the last "Amy," the door opened up, revealing his nightwear-clad girlfriend sporting a look of surprise and confusion.

"Sheldon? What are you doing here? Is everything all right?"

"Everything is fine," he said, wobbling slightly, causing him to take hold of the door frame to steady himself.

"Have you been _drinking?_" Her voice sounded incredulous.

"Only two," he said, realizing he was holding up three fingers. With his other hand he folded down the extra digit and repeated, "two."

Amy reached out, taking him by the sleeve of his jacket, pulling him into her apartment before closing the door. Looking at his arm, he noticed her hand clenched in the fabric of his coat. He looked back up at her.

"You're touching me."

Immediately, Amy let go. "I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. You've just surprised me is all and. . ."

"I didn't say I minded." Amy's confused gaze connected with his, staring at each other for an extended period of time before she instructed him to have a seat on her sofa.

"I'll prepare you a hot beverage," she informed him.

"I'm not upset," he informed her, then wondered if being nervous was also an occasion for a hot beverage.

"Well, clearly something is up," Amy said as she moved around her kitchen. He'd turned on the couch to watch her and realized she was nervous as well. _Interesting. Why should she be nervous in her own home?_ Amy looked at the clock on her stove and added, "It's past your bed time, you've been drinking, and you show up unannounced."

Sheldon started zipping up his jacket. "I've interrupted your evening," he said standing. "I'll go."

"NO!" she cried, then smoothed a hand over her hair in an attempt to compose herself. "I only meant that there is no reason for you to leave, your arrival was just unexpected, but not a burden."

Sheldon hesitated a moment then took his seat once more. He wasn't sure what to say and sat silent as she continued preparing his drink. He hoped it was cocoa. This felt like a night for cocoa. When she brought the drink to him, he saw the brown liquid but knew instantly it wasn't hot chocolate.

"This isn't cocoa," he said, staring at his cup and then back up at her.

"No," she confirmed, "It's coffee. The socially accepted convention when a person is drunk is black coffee."

"I'm not drunk."

Amy looked him squarely in the eyes. "I beg to differ. You have all the classic signs of intoxication. Glazed, slightly unfocused eyes, flushed appearance, slurring of words, and a loss of equilibrium. Clearly, you have a snoot full."

"'Snoot full?'"

"A slang term from an earlier era."

Sheldon nodded. Amy was much more adept when it came to slang. He found himself watching Amy's mouth as she explained how she'd come to her conclusion he was drunk. He'd never noticed how full and appealing her lips were. It had to be all of Penny's talk of kissing her. Suddenly, the notion didn't seem so ridiculous. It would take hardly any movement to lean over and kiss her, find out what all the hype over kissing was about. . . .

Shaking his head, Sheldon sat up straighter, clearing his throat. "I should go. I shouldn't have come over here." Amy was blinking and it almost looked like she was struggling to hold back tears. _Had he upset her? How was that possible when he'd barely said anything?_

"Sheldon, you don't have to go." Amy's hand was hovering over his, then she pulled it back, clenching it into a fist before covering it with her opposite hand as if to restrain herself. He'd never realized how much she held herself back when she was with him. Penny's talking of physical relationships, when he was going to do something with Amy, instructing him to kiss her, it all swirled in his head until he couldn't think straight. He wanted to stop it. All the noise, all the pressure, all the expectations everyone had. He grabbed Amy by the shoulders, pulled her closer and pressed his lips to hers. Their contact seemed to go on forever, but logically Sheldon knew it had been seconds at the most.

Surprisingly, it was Amy who moved backwards. "Sheldon?" Her voice quivered slightly and the way her eyes looked, Sheldon realized where the term "big as saucers" came from. She was stunned, and he couldn't tell if it was in a good way or not.

"Amy, I'm sor. . ." he started, but before he could finish his apology, he felt her fingers resting lightly on his lips.

"Don't you dare apologize," she said, gazing at her fingers still pressed against his mouth. They sat frozen like that, both afraid to move. Finally, staring at Amy, Sheldon pursed his lips, and barely kissed the digits pressed against him. Amy jerked back, letting out a sound that reminded him of some kind of hoot, and he found himself grinning slightly at her reaction. She was flushed, her breathing elevated and she continued to look at him with the same mixture of disbelief and apprehension. Something about her actions stirred him and Sheldon found himself actually _wanting_ to kiss her again.

He licked his lips, then spoke, just above a whisper. "Amy? Can I kiss you again?" Her head was bobbing enthusiastically, and he expected her to launch herself at him as she had in the past, but instead, she sat rooted to her place on the sofa. Sheldon scooted closer, hesitating only slightly before placing his hands on her upper arms. He was nervous, conscious of every movement. Where the first kiss was accomplished without thinking, Sheldon felt himself calculating and analyzing each step of pulling her closer. He was starting to panic. _What if I do this wrong?_ _What about the germs?_ He was losing his nerve. He swallowed, starting to retreat, when Amy surged into his personal space and finished the job. Their lips were mashed together and Sheldon wondered why all his friends thought this was so wonderful. All it did was serve to spread germs.

He was about to break their embrace when he felt something moist brush his lower lip. _What on Earth. . . .! _His mouth opened in surprise, and when it did he felt _Amy's tongue_ in his mouth! He started pushing her away, feeling the beginnings of revulsion when suddenly he felt something else. Other parts of his body were feeling something else. His heart was beating faster, and he actually felt. . ._good! _

Amy broke their kiss. "Okay?" she asked, and Sheldon noticed she too was breathing hard again, her flannel clad bosom rose and fell, mesmerizing him. He merely nodded, fascinated by the suggested outline of her chest. He'd always tried so hard not to notice her "lady parts," relieved Amy hadn't adopted Penny's style of dress once the two had become friends. But now the thought of her breasts just beneath the cotton, unencumbered by undergarments sent another zing to his groin. _What was happening to him?_ It was a bit like when he was sick and had a fever. Things felt as surreal then as they did now.

"I think I might be getting sick," he said. "My stomach doesn't feel so good."

Amy ran her hand up his arm, and again, surprisingly, he didn't reject her touch. It might even have been comforting, like when his mother put Vapo rub on his chest. That thought brought back the memory of taking care of Amy when she was sick, and his face felt hot for a different reason.

"Can we try again?" she asked hesitantly.

"I could be sick!" he cried.

"You know you're not sick; it's nerves. I'm nervous, too." she whispered, closing the distance between them. He thought about pushing her away. Penny had said to kiss her to lessen his anxiety at sharing a room. He'd done that, but it only seemed to be making things worse, as he'd feared. Amy wanted more. She would always want more.

_Maybe more wasn't so terrible?_ _Was what he felt kissing Amy a fluke? Would he feel that tingle again?_ He felt like he was underwater, moving with deliberate slowness. _It has to be the alcohol_. _Why did I even go to the bar? Why did I let Penny coerce me to the dark side? _Amy had taken a breath and was kissing him again, deep and passionate and the feeling he'd had earlier only intensified. It felt as though his crotch was buzzing. When Amy's hand accidentally brushed between his legs, he couldn't help the involuntary moan. _Dear Lord, I sound like Leonard when he's with Penny!_

Amy backed up with a start, looking as if she'd committed some unspeakable sin. Sheldon's head was resting on the back of the couch, eyes closed, breath shallow. He heard his voice coming from far away.

"Do it again." Nothing happened, and Sheldon turned to look at her. Amy looked as terrified as he felt, and somehow knowing that made him feel better. Slowly, he picked up her hand, placing it on his crotch, all the while watching her reaction.

"Hoo!" Amy swallowed, and flexed her fingers slightly. It felt incredible.

"Amy," he sighed and she squeezed a little harder. "I never knew it could feel. . . . It's so much better when you. . . ." He couldn't finish his sentence, both from a sense of embarrassment and the short-circuit currently taking place in his brain. He was starting to feel out of control and he was certain it wasn't a good thing.

Sheldon hadn't even realized his hips were thrusting upwards, forcing himself further into the hand cupping him. His body seemed to have a will of its own, separate from his cognitive functions. Reaching out his hand, he traced the side of her breast and was rewarded with another "Hoo!" He liked the sound. Liked that he was the cause of it.

Emboldened by Amy's response, Sheldon gently squeezed, feeling her nipple harden beneath his thumb. Somewhere in their mutual exploration, they'd synchronized their caresses and were massaging each other in unison. Amy's eyes were closed, her mouth forming an "O" as her breaths deepened. Lightly, he pinched her nipple, and she cried out,

"Oh, God, Sheldon! Where did you learn _that?_" He couldn't help his smile of triumph at seeing and hearing her pleasure. He didn't need that stupid book! Suddenly, Amy's hand was gone from his nether regions and she was astride his lap, holding his head in both hands, kissing him fiercely. She'd hitched up her nightgown, grinding herself against him as he cupped both her breasts, repeating the action that caused her outburst.

"Oh, Sheldon!" She breathed into his mouth, kissing him again. "You better be willing to finish this!" He wasn't quite sure what she meant by "finishing" but he was in no mood to argue; every nerve felt alive and she was the cause. He wanted _something_, needed _something, _he just wasn't sure what that something was.

Sheldon wasn't really aware of when they made the transition to Amy's bedroom, or when their clothes had vanished, but here they were, he lying skin to skin, touching each other everywhere. He remembered feeling Amy's hand guiding him to where she wanted him, and when he pushed forward, hearing her sharp intake of breath, he tried to stop, sure he was hurting her. Then came a moan of contentment, and he truly did feel as though he'd lost his mind. His body reacted on it's own and he was powerless to stop the tension he felt building.

Her name was on his lips as he felt his release, and trying to catch his breath, Sheldon's mind came back to him. The madness had gone, as if a cold wind had come along, sweeping away the fog. He was on top of her, Amy's damp skin pressed against his entire length. He started to move off her, but Amy reached up, trying to hold him to her, attempting to kiss him once more. He turned his head, avoiding her lips, and as he moved away, he became aware of how sticky he felt.

_Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! The MESS! The GERMS! He was still TOUCHING her! _Sheldon scrambled off the bed so fast his feet became tangled in the blankets and he crashed to the floor.

"Sheldon?" Amy asked, sitting up. "Are you all right?"

_Of course he wasn't all right! He and Amy had just. . .Oh, God! _"Amy, cover yourself!" Looking down, Amy seemed to realize for the first time she was naked, and pulled a sheet around her.

"Sheldon, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? _What's WRONG? _How can you even ask that? _Everything is wrong!"_ He managed to cover himself as he got to his feet, running to Amy's bathroom. Cranking the faucet to the hottest setting, Sheldon didn't even wait for the water to warm up before he was jumping under the spray. He reached for the soap, but when he realized it smelled like Amy, he let it drop, scrubbing himself using his hands only. He could take a shower with his own soap once he made it home.

_Home. Oh, dear Lord how he wished he was home! How he wished this night had been a dream and he could wake up and it would all be as unreal as it seemed. _Sheldon stood under the water, letting it sluice over him, trying to calm down. Any alcohol that still inhabited his system seemed to have burned away, leaving him with vivid images of what he and Amy had done together. The panic was nearly overwhelming and with the water of the shower sliding over his face, he hadn't even noticed that he was crying. _How was he ever going to face her?_

Just then he heard a knock at the bathroom door. _Please don't come in here! Please don't come in here! Please don't come in here!_

Amy called from the other side of the door. "Sheldon? Are you okay?"

His head rested on the tile wall of the shower as he sucked in great lungfuls of air. "I'm fine." He knew the terseness of his voice belied the statement, but he couldn't make himself sound more positive when he felt adrift in an emotional storm.

"I don't know what I did, but I'm sorry." Amy's voice sounded as upset as he felt, but he couldn't deal with her emotions on top of his own.

Finally, he answered, "It's not you. It's me." He took another deep breath. "I just need some time. _Please." _It was a long time before he heard her, and it sounded as if she was holding back tears.

"I'm coming in, but only long enough to leave you a towel and your clothes. I'll be in my room." Sheldon knew it was her way of letting him know he wouldn't have to see her, and was grateful. He stayed under the water until he felt the heat ebbing, not caring Amy would be faced with a cold shower. Despite his need to be home, he was reluctant to leave the security of the cleansing spray. The germs were lurking just beyond the shower curtain, waiting to attack.

Dried and dressed, Sheldon made his way to the living room where he grabbed his coat and exited Amy's apartment as if the hounds of Hell were hot on his heels. He knew he should have said _something_ to Amy, but he just couldn't. Maybe later, but not now. He wasn't even sure how he was going to get back to Los Robles, but at the moment it was the least of his concerns.

xxxxxx

Lying on his bed, Sheldon could feel his increased heart rate just at the memory of that night. He'd tried so hard to block it from his cognitive thoughts, and for the most part, had succeeded. Occasionally, a flash would slide it's way in, but with deep breathing and concentration, he was able to banish the thoughts to where they belonged.

Now the consequences of his actions had truly come back to haunt him. He had no excuses. What could he say in his defense? It was Penny? It was the alcohol? It was Amy just being Amy and he'd found her too alluring? The only thing knew for sure was the Nobel was further from his reach than ever and he was devastated.


	5. Chapter 5

**_5 _**

Amy sat in her car, but didn't insert the key into the ignition, still feeling a little too shaky to drive. Had it only been a little over an hour since she'd come by? Her encounter with Sheldon felt like days ago, and she wished it was. Penny, bless her, had managed to calm her down, reassuring her she wasn't alone in this, but Amy wanted Sheldon's support. Her anger towards him had mostly burned away in the crucible of tears, and now she just felt bereft. She didn't want to face parenthood without him, but it was looking as if she had no choice.

Closing her eyes and laying her head back against the headrest, Amy recalled the awful days after _that night._ She'd been in shock, embarrassed, confused and a host of other emotions she couldn't name. Naturally, she was worried about Sheldon, but who was going to be worried about her? Most certainly not Sheldon as it wouldn't even occur to him she might be having as much trouble absorbing events as he was. Her mother was also out of the question. Not only would she be horrified at her daughter's behavior, but the push for a husband would make her mother's dating agreement look like a mere suggestion.

She'd contemplated talking to Penny, but couldn't for several reasons. For one, Penny's proximity to Sheldon. Even if she swore her Bestie to secrecy, Amy knew the temptation for Penny to use her inside information to torment Sheldon was going to be too great. Penny might not come straight out and say something, but Amy knew little taunts would make their appearance when Sheldon did something to piss her off. Which was almost every time they encountered each other.

Second, there was her own embarrassment factor. She should have handled things differently. Either refused Sheldon when it was obvious he wasn't in his right mind or took him home before she'd enticed him. How did she know a floor-length flannel night gown would be so sexy? Penny would find their attempt at coitus amusing, and best friend or not, she couldn't take the thought Penny would pity her for their awkward encounter. In hind sight, perhaps she _should_ have talked to Penny. She'd certainly been understanding today, and probably would have supported her weeks ago.

Weeks. It was hard to believe she'd been dealing with these emotions for weeks. Things between her and Sheldon were just starting to approach normal when she realized she'd missed her period. At first she chalked it up to her emotional turmoil, but it should have only been off schedule, not missing. Again, she should have talked to Penny, but how was she supposed to bring up the subject of a suspected pregnancy when she hadn't included her when the _event _had occurred?

Or maybe she should have talked to Bernadette. Although, the thought that word would get back to Penny had stopped her. Remembering how awful she'd felt when they'd excluded her from wedding shopping, Amy couldn't inflict that kind of hurt on anyone, especially her Bestie. Once word made it around their social circle—which past performance indicated would be immediate—she was going to have to fill both women in on the circumstances.

Sighing, just before turning the key, Amy automatically cast a glance up at the window of Sheldon and Leonard's apartment. She was surprised to see what had to be Sheldon at the window, his head pressed against the glass. Was he looking for her? Amy shook her head. No, she decided, she could only hope.

She couldn't make out his expression, but his posture suggested defeat. He was slumped, shoulders hunched over. He had a hand also resting on the window, and the first thought Amy had was he was going to be running for glass cleaner at any moment. It amazed her how long he stood there. Part of her longed to go comfort him, but a greater portion was still upset he could be so dismissive of her and his role in their current circumstances.

Initially, she'd been the one to contact him. She didn't need an eidetic memory to remember their text conversation.

**_I trust you made it home okay. _**She'd debated sending the message, but she'd had to know he wasn't roaming the streets somewhere. Finally, she pushed "send" and waited tense minutes for him to respond. And waited. She was about to grab her keys and go searching when a two-word response showed up on her phone's screen.

**_I'm home._** That was it, nothing more. Amy wasn't sure what she expected. He'd be in full denial mode so the terse message wasn't a surprise. She felt like there was more to say, but knowing how raw her emotions were, now was not the time.

Somehow she'd managed to get through her day at work. She'd thought about calling in sick, but then she'd be trapped in her apartment, surrounded by memories. Work allowed her to concentrate on something other than Sheldon and their encounter, playing in an endless loop through her thoughts. She'd even contemplated hooking herself up to her EEG to see what was going on in her brain, to try to figure out why she couldn't seem to block out the images.

In what had felt like the middle of the night, Amy had taken a quick tepid shower and returned to her room only to retrieve her work clothes, refusing to look at the bed. Now, hours later, she stood before it, fighting back tears of hurt and confusion as she attacked the bed clothes, wadding up sheets, blankets, and even the pillows, stuffing them into garbage bags to be tossed out. She wished her building had an incinerator. It would be a fitting end to the bedding, and an accurate metaphor for her relationship with Sheldon.

After dropping the bags into the dumpster, Amy went straight to the mall to purchase replacements. Looking through the selections, she decided she didn't want anything that resembled her old ensemble. Feminine prints were out, as were bright, bold geometrics. The colors reminded her of something Sheldon would pick out, so she went for pastel solids. As she started reaching for blue, Amy realized the color reminded her of Sheldon's eyes. Fighting back tears, she angrily grabbed a set of green sheets and moved on to pillows.

She'd managed not to break her budget, but even if she had, she would have happily spent the money. Penny called it "retail therapy" and surprisingly it had helped. She was starting to feel better as she smoothed on her freshly laundered new sheets when she heard her phone issue a tone for an incoming text. She'd hoped it was from Sheldon, and at the same time dreaded it. Unable to bear the suspense, Amy took the phone off her dresser.

**_Hey, Ames! I haven't heard anything from you all day. Are you okay? Sheldon's been acting weird but it's hard to tell :-)!_** Amy stared at the screen, wondering what to say back to Penny that would diffuse her curiosity about her and Sheldon's unusual behavior.

**_Fine! Just a busy day at work and I had some shopping to do._**

**_Without me :-)?_**

**_Big sale on sheets at Target. Impulse buy. Sorry I didn't ask you._**

**_No problem. Girls night tomorrow?_** Amy hesitated. She could use some female companionship, but as soon as the liquor started to flow, she was sure every torrid detail of her one and only encounter with Sheldon would come out. She certainly was under no delusions that there would be future contact. She wasn't even sure if she was still his girlfriend.

**_Sorry. Busy tomorrow. Rain check?_**

**_Wow. This is a first. You sure you're all right?_**

**_Fine. Crazy week at work. Fundraising. _**Amy hoped it was enough information for her friend.

**_Okay. Just me and Bernie then. Stop by if you can._**

**_Sure. Have fun!_** Amy took a seat on her partially made bed. She hated fibbing to Penny, but until she was feeling better emotionally, she didn't think being in the same room with the girls and wine was a good idea. Staring at her phone, she knew she should try Sheldon again. She was never going to get any sleep if things remained unresolved between them, and after the night before, she desperately needed some rest.

Taking a deep breath, Amy started tapping on her virtual keypad. **_Hello, Sheldon. How was work?_** It was the kind of innocuous text she'd sent to him when they'd first met. It wasn't long before he replied. That had to be a good sign, right? Either that or the guys were over and they'd bug him if he didn't respond to his phone, and texting back was the easiest option.

**_I didn't go to work._** Amy stared at the words. _This could be bad._ A few seconds later: **_I went to the zoo._**

_Okay, not so bad. _**_Did you have fun?_**

**_Yes, the koalas are always soothing._** _Soothing? What an odd choice of words. _She didn't need to ask why he needed soothing. There was so much she wanted to say to him, she didn't think it would translate well into texting.

**_Switching to email. _**Moving to her laptop, Amy almost suggested Skyping, but knew neither of them were ready for face-to-face contact. It took her longer than she thought to lay out her proposal.

**_Hello, again._**

**_Sheldon, I realize last night was severely traumatic for you. I won't ask you to explain your behavior because I doubt even you know what precipitated your actions. As you don't normally drink, I'm assuming the alcohol was purposely consumed in order for you to do something outside your comfort zone. While I was cognizant of this fact, I too found myself taking advantage of your impaired state._** Here Amy stopped, unsure where she wanted this to go. She wasn't going to completely let him off the hook, accepting all the blame he was no doubt going to try to heap on her. She resumed typing.

**_I feel we share an equal responsibility in the events of last evening and propose a relationship reset. I believe a few weeks would be sufficient. _**Amy chewed on her thumb nail as she re-read what she'd written. She could see Sheldon taking exception to most of it, but she thought it covered the essentials. She'd proposed the reset as a bit of a preemptive strike, hoping to give him an option other than simply terminating all contact with her. Hitting "send" in her email program, she waited for Sheldon to lob his return volley. It didn't take long.

**_Amy,_**

**_I have considered your proposal and offer a counter-proposal. I believe it's been longer than a few weeks that our relationship has drifted off-course and suggest a full reset, back to the moment of our first official date. If you need reminding, it was the night Penny took us to dinner. _**

_Need reminding? How could she have forgotten one of the seminal moments of her adult life?_ Amy continued to read, fearing where this was leading.

**_For the time being, I think we should return to a state of friendship such as we experienced initially. This would include texting, emailing, Skype, facebook and other forms of social media. Any future "date nights" will be considered on a case-by-case basis and need to be requested a minimum of forty-eight hours in advance and in writing. _**

_Oh, no you don't!_ Amy thought, anger rising. _Not after three years of adjusting my life to accommodate your endless phobias and rituals! We are _not_ taking that many steps back! _She started typing furiously, pouring out her frustrations as fast as her fingers could fly. When she looked down at the countless lines, Amy realized this wasn't the way to get Sheldon to come around. She needed to stick to his protocol.

**_Counter-proposal,_**

**_We reset to the night you asked me to be your girlfriend. We will continue to meet on our regularly scheduled date nights and the original Relationship Agreement will be in effect. Any amendments we've made since that time will now be considered void._** Amy stared at her computer screen. She _so_ did not want to send this latest offering. All the progress they'd made would be wiped out and they'd go back to a stagnant relationship where, as Sheldon himself had put it, was skewed in his favor. She didn't see any other option and after a deep inhale and exhale, sent the email.

It was long minutes before he replied. **_Agreed. I shall reprint the original document and upon our next meeting we will sign and date it, noting it is a reset accepted by both parties._**_ Not by choice,_ Amy thought.

**_Agreed._** **_Have a good prevening._**

In the weeks that followed, it had indeed felt as if they'd gone back to a place where they were unfamiliar with dating. Their encounters were frequently awkward, perhaps more so on her part, as Amy weighed each word she spoke to him. She'd retained her spot at Sheldon's side on his sofa, but he sat even more rigidly, if that was possible. Amy had begun to despair things would ever move forward again.

And now there was her pregnancy. Their relationship was never going to be the same because a little over an hour ago, it had imploded.


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: Bonus day! In honor of tomorrow's season finale, a second chapter. Thanks so much for the reviews and follows. They expand my Grinchy heart :-)._**

**_6_**

Sheldon stepped from his room, adjusting his messenger bag as he looked up to see the living room populated with his roommate plus Howard and Raj. _It's eight a.m. People don't come to my apartment at eight a.m._

"Leonard? Why is everyone here? Shouldn't they be headed to work? As should we?"

Leonard sighed, standing near the door, fiddling with his keys. "Sheldon, I told you last night. Today is Amy's first ultra-sound and we're going with her."

"For moral support!" Raj piped up. "It's so exciting!" Sheldon scowled at him, but Rajesh's enthusiasm didn't wane. "I hope we find out if it's a boy or a girl!"

"It's far too early for that," Sheldon informed him. "Sexual characteristics are visible during ultra-sounds at eleven weeks at the earliest. Amy is at eight weeks." It was the first time he'd given any thought to how far along Amy was since he'd been assaulted with the news of her pregnancy two weeks ago.

And it was _her_ pregnancy. After they'd both had time to absorb the fact she was gestating, he informed her termination the pregnancy was not an option, seeing as the offspring was a second generation Homo Novus. But he did suggest adopting the child out at birth as an alternative. Both their careers would remain intact, and life could go on as before. He hadn't even gotten to the research he'd done on perspective parents before she'd hung up on him. Since then he'd truly washed his hands of his responsibilities. He'd offered her a solution, she rejected it, so it was now her situation to deal with.

Sheldon stared at his roommate. "I suppose this means you won't be taking me into work. You could have told me."

"I _did _tell you! You just chose not to hear me!"

"I hear everything," Sheldon sniffed. _Why were they debating this? He was going to be late!_

"Fine," Leonard huffed. "You chose not to acknowledge it. You could come with us, you know."

Sheldon turned away from the group. "That's quite out of the question."

"Sheldon. . . " Leonard pleaded, but before he could finish his sentence, Penny and Bernadette barged through the door.

"Come on! What's the hold up?" Penny asked, clearly frustrated.

Leonard tried again to get him to join them. "I'm trying to get Sheldon to come with us."

Penny stalked over and stood before him, hands on her hips. "How about it Sheldon? Ready to man up and be there for your girlfriend?"

Taking a step backward, Sheldon clutched his bag. Penny always intimidated him when she was in this kind of mood. And she'd been in it pretty much since she'd found out about Amy being pregnant. Bernadette reminded him of a bulldog when the subject of Amy came up, and he kept expecting her to jump up and rip his throat out.

Now that he thought about it, the guys too had been lukewarm at best. They still came for meals and game nights but did their best not to engage him. He'd always been a pariah due to his superior intellect, but to be shunned by his peers hurt more than he wanted to admit.

"I, unlike the rest of you apparently, have a job to attend to."

"Don't use that as an excuse," Bernadette growled. "You blow off work all the time just to go to the zoo! Howie told me!"

"Howard!" Sheldon practically screeched.

Howard held up his hands in self-defense. "Hey, man, you're the one who told me where you disappear to."

Turning to Leonard, Sheldon made one last appeal. "I don't suppose you could drop me off on your way to the doctor's office."

Leonard stood before him, mouth agape. "You're kidding, right? Your girlfriend is waiting outside and you're just going to ignore her and make me drive you to work? While she goes to her appointment without the father of her baby?!"

Sheldon didn't meet Leonard's gaze. He stared at the floor, twisting the strap to his bag. "I'm sure women go to ultra-sound appointments all the time on their own."

"Not their first one!" Raj cried. "Dude, I can't believe you would do that to Amy!"

_They were putting him on the spot. He hated to be put on the spot. The only spot he liked was his _spot_ on the sofa._ He had an insane urge to giggle in his discomfort at being the center of everyone's attention. He _should_ be the center of their attention, but not in the manner he was at the moment.

"Then Penny can take me," Sheldon announced, looking up enough to look down his nose at them. "You're not all going to fit in the same car anyway."

Penny's hands were back on her hips again. "Oh no she can't!" Stepping closer, her face inches from his, Penny put herself into his personal space, causing him to retreat further. "Sheldon Cooper, the only way you'll _ev-ver _get into my car again is to come with us and support your girlfriend. She may seem like she's okay with this, but she's terrified."

Sheldon shifted under Penny's scrutiny. "She has all of you. She doesn't need me there as well."

Penny threw up her arms, exhaling a sound of frustration. "Leonard, can't you say something to him?"

"I've tried. We've all tried. Nothing works." Leonard was speaking as if he wasn't standing there and it was making him angry. All they could ever talk about these days was Amy, Amy, Amy. How _she_ was coping, how _she_ was trying to adjust her life to the prospect of motherhood.

Well, what about him? How come no one was worried about what this was doing to _him?_ To _his_ work? How the constant reminder that he'd slipped up _one_ night haunted him like nothing ever had. How he lived in terror Meemaw would find out, or worse yet, his mother. The thought he'd disappointed either woman made his stomach churn.

Giving him a last baleful stare, Penny grabbed Leonard by the sleeve of his jacket. "Let's go. We're going to be late and I can't be in the same room as him without inflicting bodily harm."

Sheldon watched everyone troop from the apartment, each of them giving him a reproving look as they exited. _Fine,_ he thought. _At least they've gone. _He was still clutching his messenger bag as he dropped to his spot on the couch. He was fuming. How was he going to get to work? Surely _one_ of them could have taken him. Did it take five people to hold Amy's hand while a transducer was passed over her abdomen?

He had no choice. He was going to have to take a personal day. He hated having to use his leave simply because all his options for rides had just walked out his door. Reaching for his phone, Sheldon called the physics department's office, notifying them he wouldn't be in. The secretary seemed unconcerned, yet another person who didn't seem to care about Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Getting up, Sheldon crossed to his desk, hanging his bag on the back of the chair with a sigh. After the morning he'd had, he needed a hot beverage. He moved to the kitchen, reaching for the yellow mug; it was his favorite after all. Amy didn't know he usually gave her the mug as a gesture of his regard for her. She'd assumed it was because she'd revealed yellow to be her favorite color. In reality, it was his small way of giving her something of himself.

Today he chose the mug because it reminded him of Amy. Despite what his friends might think, he _did_ care what happened to her. True, he was put out that their focus seemed to be solely on her, but he didn't wish her ill. The truth was, he didn't know how to talk to her anymore, and that upset him greatly. First and foremost they'd had a relationship of the mind, and to now feel awkward about communicating with her made him feel as if he'd lost something of great value.

The kettle whistled and he went about fixing his tea by rote, his mind still sorting through things he hadn't wanted to think about. Not that he wanted to think about them now, but the morning's events had chipped a hole in the mental wall he'd erected to keep thoughts of Amy and _that night_ at bay. She'd been the one to suggest a relationship reset, but it had been he who insisted they go back to the beginning.

Now he didn't know how to move forward again, and he found to his great surprise, he wanted to. He missed their regular date nights—mostly for the routine—he told himself. But that was just his excuse to mask the fact he missed seeing Amy in person. Since she'd told him of her pregnancy, they'd had very little contact. Short emails and texts, and one Skype session that didn't end well.

Sheldon moved back to the sofa and took a sip of his hot tea. It was indeed a comfort as his mother had always insisted it was. There was a way to get back into Amy's good graces, he knew, but was trying not to think about it. Still, the thoughts wouldn't leave his mind no matter how hard he tried to block them. All he had to do was to show up at her doctor's and he knew all would be forgiven. Such a simple gesture, but it would have far-reaching consequences. By showing up he would be acknowledging his role in her pregnancy. Could he do that? Could he face the ramifications of that acknowledgement? He was scared, but the thought of never regaining an even keel with Amy seemed even more unsettling.

Finishing his tea, Sheldon returned to the kitchen, rinsed and washed his cup and left it to dry in the sink. Crossing back to his desk, he opened the computer, searching for bus schedules. He wondered if Amy would understand the sacrifice he was making for her by taking a bus. He wouldn't consider taking public transportation to get to work, and yet he was willing to in order to get to her appointment. He smiled slightly as he wrote down the route information. If anyone would recognize what the gesture meant, it would be her. And, after all, it was Anything-Can-Happen-Thursday.


	7. Chapter 7

**_7_**

Amy sat on the exam table, her feet not quite reaching the pull-out step. A nurse had taken her vital signs, and now she was waiting for the doctor. She was nervous, but the edge was taken off by looking around at her group of friends crowding the small exam room. Penny and Bernadette stood on either side of her holding her hands. Amy squeezed them gently, shifting her gaze from one to the other.

"Thank you again for being here with me," she said, then leaned forward to include the men in her appreciation. "All of you. You don't know what it means to me to have you here."

Leonard shuffled his feet, tilting his head back looking at her through the bottom of his glasses. "Of course we're here for you. Anything you need."

"Ditto," Raj interjected.

"What he said," Howard added. Amy felt so fortunate to have such good friends, still there was one person missing, and try as she might, she couldn't help wishing he was here. Even if Sheldon hadn't been the father of her child, she wished he was there with them.

The emotion in the room was getting heavy until Raj exclaimed, "I'm so excited to see the baby!" That seemed to break the tension and they all relaxed a bit. Just then Amy heard a quiet knock as the doctor stepped in, her head down, focussing on the contents of a folder.

"Ms. Fowler," she stated, her gaze still on the medical forms. "I'm Dr. Bennett, " she said, tucking long dark hair behind her ear with her free hand. Looking up, she took a step back when she realized the room was filled with people. "Oh, my. This is quite the entourage."

"They're my posse," Amy grinned, going around the room introducing everyone. "This is Penny, Bernadette, Leonard, Rajesh and Howard." The doctor nodded at each of them in turn, still looking a bit taken aback.

"We're having a baby!" Raj enthused. Amy was still having trouble getting used to Rajesh's new-found freedom in speaking to women.

"So, you're the father, then?" the doctor asked.

"Oh goodness, no. But I'm very excited to be an uncle."

Dr. Bennett smiled at Raj's exuberance. She turned to look at Leonard who shook his head, then to Howard who held up his hands.

"Not me."

"_None_ of you is the father?" Dr. Bennett asked, clearly surprised with all the men in the room, no one was claiming paternity. At that moment a figure appeared in the doorway. Not expecting anyone else, the assembly looked up, astonished when they saw who was standing there. He didn't speak immediately, and when he did, his attention was focused solely on Amy.

"Amy is my girlfriend. I'm the father." No one said anything for long minutes as Sheldon and Amy stared at each other.

"Maybe we should give them a little privacy," Penny suggested, grabbing Leonard's arm as she started to exit the room.

"Wait! I want to see this!" Howard protested but was quickly reined in by Bernadette, who joined Penny in dragging her man from the room.

"Raj!" Bernadette snapped, and a dejected Rajesh followed the Wolowitzs, his bottom lip protruding in a pout.

"But I wanted to see the baby!"

"Raj," Amy said, her voice hoarse with emotion. "You can come back in a minute. You all can. I need to speak with Sheldon alone."

Dr. Bennett cast the couple an uneasy glance. "I'll give you two a minute," she said, closing the door behind her. Neither Amy or Sheldon seemed to want to be the first to speak. Finally, Amy had had enough.

"What changed your mind?" She asked quietly, eyes downcast, afraid if she looked at him she wouldn't like what she saw. He'd so vociferously denied his culpability in the situation, she was scared to see it was only social pressure that had brought him here.

Sheldon didn't answer immediately, causing Amy to look up at his silence. His eyes were the ones looking down now, and she exhaled a little snort, producing a wry grin. They were certainly a dysfunctional pair. Sheldon was clutching the strap of his messenger bag, and Amy recognized the gesture with a bittersweet pang. It was so typical of him and his unsettled state.

"I've been thinking about this a lot," he confessed. _No shit, _she thought, _who hasn't?_ Again the silence dragged on. If he didn't get to it soon the doctor would be back and she'd never get her answers.

"And?" she prompted.

"And, I think maybe I might have been. . . ." He squirmed, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"You might have been. . . .?"

"A little too. . . .hasty." He exhaled with relief as if he'd just had the weight of the world lifted.

"Hasty," she repeated. "What was too hasty?"

His gaze flicked to her and then away again. "My. . .not. . .accepting. . .my. . .role. . .in. . .this." He darted another quick look at her, but still couldn't fully meet her gaze.

"I'm not sure what it is you're trying to say, Sheldon. You were too hasty in solely blaming me for this?" she said, waving a hand towards her stomach. "You were too hasty suggesting I give the baby away at birth? Too hasty in saying you wanted nothing to do with the baby? Too hasty in making us reset back to when you asked me to be your girlfriend? Which part?"

Sheldon was looking fully chastised and Amy couldn't help but relish it. After all the epithets she'd hurled at him either raging alone in her apartment, or with Bernadette and Penny, she was surprised his ears had not only burned, but hadn't burst into flames.

"All of it," he whispered.

"What was that? I didn't catch what you said."

"All of it!" he shouted, loud enough for their friends in the waiting room to hear. Sheldon's cheeks flushed as he lowered his voice. "I," he swallowed, "apologize for my actions."

Amy didn't say anything for a long time. She wanted to accept his apology, knowing how rare they were, but knew she couldn't forgive him so easily.

Taking a deep breath, Amy forced herself to look up. "Sheldon, look at me." It took a bit, but eventually he was staring into her eyes. It was hard to think when he was looking at her so intensely. She'd missed him so much, missed the easy camaraderie they'd always shared, but she had to be firm. "I can't take any more rejection, or denial. We still haven't faced what happened that night." Sheldon started to speak but Amy held up her hand to stop him. "Please, let me finish. Now is not the time to get into that. What I need to know is that you're going to be here for me. Not only before, but after the baby comes."

"If it's a question about financial support. . ."

"I don't care about the money, Sheldon. I make enough to see that the baby is taken care of." She took a deep breath. "What I need is emotional support, someone who'll reassure me things will work out, that this isn't the biggest mistake of my life. That I'll still have a career. Someone who can watch the baby occasionally when I need a break. All those things."

"But you'll still have Penny and the rest of our friends for that. I don't know that I should have to babysit!"

It hadn't even been ten minutes and Sheldon was already backsliding. "Never mind," Amy said, angry with herself for getting her hopes up, thinking he could handle this and really support her. She just wanted his acceptance so badly she thought she could wish it into existence.

"I want to, Amy. I want to be that man for you," he looked down again. "I just don't know if I can. I'm scared," he admitted.

Amy let out an ironic chuckle. "And you think I'm not? Sheldon, all I'm asking is that you try. That at the first sign of trouble you don't write me off and reset our relationship back to ground zero. Do you think you can do that?"

He bobbed his head. "I can try."

Smiling, Amy started to reach out for him, then pulled her hand back, not wanting to ruin the fragile truce they'd just managed. "Then that's all I can ask." He was smiling shyly and Amy felt her heart melt all over again. It wasn't fair the hold he had over her. "We should call our friends back in."

"Amy? Would you mind if it was just us? They can come in later, but initially could it just be us?"

She smiled again, realizing he was still trying to process, and he didn't need the ribbing his friends were sure to give him. "Of course. Go see if the doctor is ready." He moved to leave, then turned back to face her. Giving her his koala face.

"I missed you."

Amy had to blink rapidly to keep tears at bay. When she spoke, her voice was hoarse. "I really missed you, too."

xxxxxx

Penny tried to stay seated, but she was too nervous, thinking about what Sheldon was saying to Amy. He'd better not hurt her or she _would_ go junior rodeo on him. One minute she was sitting on an uncomfortable loveseat next to Leonard, and the next she was pacing the confines of the waiting room. Fortunately there were no other patients, seeing as the five of them took up most of the seats in the small lounge.

"I still can't believe Sheldon showed up like that," Bernadette said, shaking her head. "If it was anyone else, I would think it was incredibly romantic."

"It was like a scene right out of a Sandra Bullock movie," Raj sighed.

"In what movie does Sandra Bullock get pregnant by a neurotic physicist who denies he could be the father?" Howard asked.

Raj looked angry. "I didn't say it _was_ a Sandra Bullock movie, I said it was _like_ a Sandra Bullock movie."

"Like that movie about the lake house," Leonard chimed in.

Penny turned her attention to the man sitting next to her. "They were lovers out of time," she said.

"Well, no, it was more like they were out of sync with the real world. If that doesn't have 'Shamy' written all over it, I don't know what does." Penny slapped his arm as she tried to suppress a smile but she wasn't successful, especially when she caught Bernadette's gaze.

Collecting herself, Penny looked around at the group. "I can't believe I'm actually going to defend him, but I think we should all keep in mind how difficult this had to be for Sheldon, and not give him tons of crap about it."

"Just the fact he made it here without a ride is a miracle in itself," Howard said, receiving his own slap on the arm from his wife.

"Yeah, how do you suppose he got here?" Raj asked.

"The bus," Leonard stated with authority.

Penny looked at him. "How do you know?"

"He was wearing his bus pants."

Bernadette was looking around at each of the guys. "He's got a special wardrobe for the bus?"

"They're basically throw-aways. Ones he's not going to wear again because once they've been worn on the bus he considers them to be contaminated," Leonard informed her.

"That's our Sheldon," Bernie muttered under her breath.

"You can claim him if you want," Howard said. "But just because he's left a river in Egypt doesn't mean he's going to act any better."

Bernadette looked puzzled. "'A river in Egypt?'"

"Denial," Raj supplied.

At first Penny didn't get it either. "Huh?"

"You know," Leonard said with a grin, "De-Nile." At her incredulous look he supplied, "Well the Nile is a river in. . ."

"Yeah, I get it now, Leonard." Penny pursed her lips and shook her head. Sometimes he and Dr. Whackadoodle were a perfect match. Standing, Penny wandered over to a poster depicting each month of pregnancy. She'd seen similar illustrations, but hadn't really paid much attention. Now that her friend was expecting, she had more interest. "Wow, Baby Shamy kind of looks like a mutated tadpole."

Howard laughed. "'Baby Shamy, I like that."

"How do you suppose we'll even see something that small on an ultra-sound?" She wondered.

"If we ever get in there to see it. How long does it take for Sheldon to say 'I was a schmuck?'" Howard grumbled.

Bernadette walked her fingers up Howard's chest. "Are you going to be this antsy if we have a baby?"

Howard's face burst into a grin. "Bernie, are you trying to tell me you've changed your mind?"

"Well, I was kind of thinking Baby Shamy might be kind of like a test drive. See how we do with a lease before we buy."

Leonard was looking a little worried. "You know, we might want to go easy on the 'Baby Shamy' thing. I don't think either of them are going to be too wild about that nick name."

"Do you have another suggestion?" Raj asked.

"Well, not at the moment, but I'm sure we could come up with something that isn't such a flash point with them."

Lifting his shoulders in a half shrug, Howard grinned. "Isn't _that_ the point? To drive Sheldon mad?"

Leonard stood, walking over to Penny, giving her back a little rub. "You okay? You seem more nervous than Amy."

Sagging slightly, she turned to look at him. "I'm a little worried. You know how Sheldon is. I'm just afraid she's going to get her hopes up because he's here, and when she really needs him, he'll pull some of his bat-crap crazy stuff on her."

Leonard rubbed her shoulders, pulling her closer. "I know, and it could very well happen." He took a breath. "He's been worse than usual since he found out Amy was pregnant, you've seen that."

"Yeah," she sighed, laying her head on his shoulder. "I know I haven't been very understanding of what he's going through, but if you could see how broken up Amy is. She's angry and scared, and misses Sheldon. I think she's about as whacked out as he is right now," she chuckled.

"Well, maybe they're working things out. They have been in there quite a long time and no one's come storming out. That has to be a good sign, doesn't it?"

"I hope so." Penny stood up straighter, giving Leonard a quick peck before she pulled out of his arms. Taking his hand, she led him back to the chairs, sitting in new seats as Howard and Bernadette had now commandeered the loveseat.

"What's taking so long?" Raj whined.

"I saw the doctor go back in the room," Bernadette informed them. Then turning to Raj, her voice hardened. "It's only been fifteen minutes!"

Penny put her head down to hide a smirk. She loved Bernadette, but the woman certainly had a short fuse. She knew Bernie and Howard had discussed starting a family, but she wondered how well suited either of them were for parenthood. Come to think of it, on the surface none of them were really suited for family life. She couldn't imagine being a mother, and she surely didn't see how Sheldon and Amy were going to handle a baby. _No one is probably truly ready_, she thought. _You do what you have to and hope it turns out._

xxxxxx

Amy and Sheldon both looked up as a knock sounded on the door, as Doctor Bennett poked her head in.

"Are you ready to get started? They both nodded, exchanging glances as the doctor entered the room. "So, Ms. Fowler," Dr. Bennett began.

"It's Dr. Fowler," Sheldon quickly corrected her. It always amused Amy how Sheldon wouldn't let anyone forget she had a doctorate. It didn't bother her nearly as much as it seemed to him when someone left off the honorific.

"Dr. Fowler," Bennett restated, smiling. "May I call you Amy?"

Amy let out a nervous little laugh. "By all means. With all the doctors in the room it could get confusing. This is Dr. Sheldon Cooper," she said, extending her hand towards him, her grin widening. Dr. Bennett gave him a professional smile, extending her hand which Sheldon barely touched before reaching for a wipe. The doctor took note of the action, but said nothing, turning her attention back to Amy.

"So, you believe you're in your eighth week, is that correct?" The doctor asked, readying her equipment.

Sheldon was watching every move the woman made and when she'd questioned Amy, he looked up sharply. "Isn't that information in her chart? Did you even bother to look at it?"

"She is just making conversational chit-chat, Sheldon. A technique used to ease the anxieties of patients. A type of 'bate and switch' if you will. While I'm busy answering questions, I'm not thinking about the upcoming procedure." Amy smiled knowingly at the doctor whose own smile had slipped a little.

"Are you a medical doctor Amy?" she asked, helping her to lie back.

"I'm a neurobiologist. Currently I'm studying addiction in primates, hoping to gain a better understanding how our own brains react to addictive substances."

The doctor pulled up Amy's top to expose her stomach. "That sounds interesting! What kinds of experiments do you do?"

"Are we just about through with all the banal chit-chat? If we hurry this up I might still be able to get in a half day at work."

"Sheldon!" All of Amy's earlier euphoria evaporated with his tone, feeling herself blush. Her emotions were in enough of an uproar without Sheldon making things worse. _Why did I think I wanted him here?_

Sheldon crossed his arms over his chest, seemingly ignoring her chastisement. "How come you're performing the ultra-sound? Don't technicians usually perform this task, to be read later by a much more skilled radiologist?" Amy squirmed with discomfort. She knew Sheldon was just being Sheldon by asking the questions, but he didn't realize how insulting his words sounded.

"Sheldon, _please,_" she implored.

"What, you don't think it's a valid question?"

"It's all right, Amy," Dr. Bennett said, giving her arm a gentle squeeze before turning her attention to Sheldon. "Yes, Dr. Cooper, it is unusual for an obstetrician to be performing the ultra-sound, but I like to do the first one myself. It's not that I don't trust the technicians, I just enjoy being a part of the early process. It makes it feel more personal."

"As if _that_ is a desired goal," he sneered, looking away. Amy, on the other hand, thought it was incredibly sweet, and fell instantly in love with Sarah Bennett. Now she understood why anyone who'd had their babies delivered by the tall brunette raved about her.

Amy leaned in closer, whispering. "Thank you, Doctor. Ignore him."

"Amy! I don't believe it's possible for anyone to ignore me."

Dr. Bennett cleared her throat. "Yes, well, should we get started?" She pulled out a tube of gel and before she could proceed, Sheldon started a running narrative.

"The gel is to facilitate the gliding of the transducer, which is the wand she is about to press to your abdomen. Constant contact with your epidermis is necessary to facilitate an accurate image." Dr. Bennett did indeed squirt gel onto her stomach. It was cold, causing Amy's stomach to contract slightly.

"Sorry about that. I should have warned you it was on the cool side."

Sheldon continued. "By pressing the transducer into several spots, she can see the developing fetus from several angles."

"_Thank you, _DoctorCooper_,_" she said, casting a glance at Amy. "Where did you say you received your medical degree?"

"Oh, I don't have a medical degree," he stated proudly. "My doctorate is in theoretical physics."

Dr. Bennett touched the transducer to Amy's stomach, sliding it around until something appeared on the screen, but she couldn't quite make it out. The doctor looked away from the screen long enough to stare at Sheldon for a moment.

"I _do_ have a medical degree, Dr. Cooper, so I would appreciate it if you would let me utilize my education." Amy bit her lip to keep from smiling, unable to look at Sheldon for fear he would see her reveling in someone getting the best of him. Sheldon hated to lose even if it was a mere battle of wills.

"Now then," Dr. Bennett said, pointing to the screen. "This little blob here? That is your baby." Amy stared with fascination and wonder at the black and white screen. Intellectually she knew she was pregnant, but there was something about seeing it displayed, albeit not very clearly, that suddenly made it real.

"Oh, Sheldon! Look!" she exclaimed, her voice filled with awe. The only thing she could equate this feeling to was when she found a brain tumor, right where she expected it to be. Amy felt more than saw Sheldon move closer. He was now near enough that she could feel his body heat in the cool room.

"And this," Dr. Bennett said, touching a switch, "is the baby's heart beat." A fast pulsing filled the room and Amy's hand flew to her mouth, and the encroaching tears she'd been feeling started rolling down her cheeks. She thought she'd never felt anything so incredible in her life, until there was a touch on her arm. Looking up, Amy saw it was Sheldon, gripping her bicep gently as he stared at the screen, looking positively gobsmacked.

"Fascinating," he barely whispered. "It's our Homo Novus." Sheldon darted a glance at Amy and their gazes met for only a moment before he quickly looked away, but for Amy it was enough. Even when he realized he was touching her and quickly stepped back, she couldn't feel upset with him. He'd used the word 'our', and in that one intimate glance, Sheldon revealed more than he could or would ever say. In that instant, he'd become a father.

Amy was wiping at the tears cascading down her face, then accepted the tissue Dr. Bennett offered. "I'm sorry, it's just that this. . . ."

"Makes it real?" the doctor supplied. "Don't be embarrassed, Amy," she said, patting her hand. "Babies _are_ a miracle, and this is the reason I like to be here for the first view," she said looking meaningfully at Sheldon.

"You have no idea what a miracle this is," Amy chuckled, her voice tinged with irony.

"Oh? have you been trying for awhile?"

Amy felt her face flush once more. She wanted to look over at Shelton to see his expression, but was afraid she'd see the panic and denial he'd expressed the night of the conception. She felt hopeful about the baby for the first time and didn't want to ruin it. "Actually, it was only one time. And I was taking oral contraceptives to regulate my period."

"Really?" Dr. Bennett said, obviously surprised. "That is quite miraculous, actually."

"I have superior sperm," Sheldon stated in absolute sincerity.

Dr. Bennett coughed, casting Amy an uneasy look. "So! Should we let your friends in?"

"Oh, yes! I'm sure they're dying to see the baby!" Sheldon was twitching, his movements becoming increasingly spastic. "Sheldon? Is that all right with you?"

"Fine," he bit out, moving back and forth. "I have to go. It'll be too many people in here." He didn't look back at them as he darted for the door.

"Sheldon, you won't leave will you?"

He paused only for a moment. "Of course not." Amy exhaled with relief. "You're my ride."

xxxxxx

Penny was the first into the room and immediately went to Amy's side, giving her a quick hug. "Everything okay?" she whispered. Amy's eyes were red and puffy and Penny's first thought was Sheldon was the cause.

"I'm fine," she reassured her. "Just a little emotional."

"Did Sheldon. . ."

"No!" she stopped her before Penny could finish her sentence. "Actually, I'm still kind of in a state of shock that he showed up. And he was fairly stable." The two shared a knowing grin as Bernadette joined them.

"You doing okay, Amy?"

"Better than okay!" she enthused. "Dr. Bennett, could you show them?" The guys stepped closer as the doctor moved the transducer around again. Pointing at the grainy image, she touched the screen, circling a blob.

"That's it," she smiled at the group.

"Let them listen to the heartbeat!" Amy said. As the sound filled the room Penny felt herself tearing up. Looking at her friends, she noted they were all looking similarly affected. Even Howard had lost his sarcastic edge and displayed an expression of wonder. Raj was openly wiping his eyes, but that didn't surprise her. Reaching across to a side table, Penny plucked a tissue and handed it to him.

Raj was dabbing at his tears. "Isn't our baby amazing?"

Amy smiled at him. "It certainly is."

Penny glanced over at Leonard, unsure what his reaction was going to be. Leaning into him, she spoke so only he could hear. "What do you think, Leonard?"

His eyes were wide with awe. Turning to look at her, he smiled gently. "It's still incomprehensible to me that it's Sheldon's baby."

Nodding, Penny wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her head on his shoulder. "Yeah, it's a tough one to wrap my head around. Still, I'm really glad he came. I know it means the world to Amy. What do you suppose changed his mind?"

Leonard's gaze was focused on the monitor. "I have absolutely no idea, but for him to take the bus to get here is huge." He was quiet for a few moments, then added. "You know, I'm a little jealous." Penny immediately tensed at his words. Leonard was always so quick to verbalize his feelings and his stark honesty caught her off-guard. He probably _would_ like to have a child with her, she realized, but she was in no way ready for that. She tried not to pull away too quickly, but the emotions between them were getting a little cloying.

"I'm kind of sad Sheldon showed up," Raj moped, and Amy's eyes grew wide.

"Why would you say that?" she asked.

Raj looked totally dejected. "_I _wanted to help with the baby."

Amy grinned and reached out to take his hand. "Oh, Raj. I'm going to need lots of help. You'll always have a special place in the baby's life. You all will," she said, looking around at her friends. Just then the door opened up, and Sheldon stood there, staring at Amy and Raj's clasped hands, he looked up, his features strained.

"Can we go now? Have you all mooned enough over a blob on a screen?" The entire room erupted in a chorus of "Sheldon!" as he stalked off.

Moving over to Amy, Penny gave her a hug. "Hang in there, Sweetie. Rome wasn't built in a day, and it's going to take some time to turn Sheldon into a Human."

Amy was trying hard to blink back tears. "It's just so hard when one minute he's so understanding, and the next he's back to being an ass."

"I hear ya, Sister," Howard said, giving Amy's shoulder a quick pat. "Just when I think Sheldon's over the whole masters/doctorate thing he's got to throw it in my face. My advice to you is never let your guard down."

Penny didn't want to be having this discussion in front of Amy's doctor. "Maybe we should get going. Dr. Bennett, thank you for taking the time to show us Amy's baby." Everyone nodded, expressing their appreciation before exiting. Penny didn't wait for the others as she headed back towards the waiting area. Sheldon Cooper was _not_ going to know what hit him.


	8. Chapter 8

**_8_**

Leonard stood by the door of his apartment giggling his keys. "Sheldon! Come on! You're the one who was in such a hurry to get to the University!" Sheldon seemed to be in no particular hurry as he exited his bedroom. Bag slung over his shoulder, he looked as calm as Leonard had ever seen him. Sheldon's routine had been hopelessly abandoned, and yet, here was his roommate, acting as if it were any other day. Not the day he finally accepted the news he was going to be a father.

Leonard had been surprised when Sheldon announced he would be riding back home with him, stating since Leonard was going to be driving him to work, it made the most sense. Amy had looked crushed, and Penny made an obvious fuss over riding with her, but the action had been lost on Sheldon. Leonard noticed he'd barely made eye contact with his girlfriend before taking a seat in the front of his car.

He'd tried to explain to Sheldon how his behavior had hurt Amy, but he was having none of it. Leonard recognized Sheldon's "full lockdown" mode as he kept changing the topics of conversation to something far removed from the current situation.

"I'm ready now," Sheldon proclaimed, causing Leonard to shake his head in exasperation. Sheldon continued to chatter as they descended the stairs, and Leonard decided he'd had enough. Once they were back in the car he was going to confront Sheldon when he wouldn't be able to escape.

Leonard watched as Sheldon settled into his usual seatbelt routine long enough for Sheldon to look up. "Why aren't you driving?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were ready," he said, trying hard to keep from grinning. He knew he was anticipating grilling Sheldon far too much.

"You're acting awfully strange, Leonard. I think this morning's activities have disagreed with you." It was the first mention Sheldon had made of the ultra-sound.

"No, no. It was fine," he said, waiting to see if Sheldon would pick up the conversation. When he didn't, Leonard added, "It must have been tough for you, though."

Sheldon looked out the window as Leonard pulled away from the curb. "Yes, the bus ride was quite harrowing. If you'd taken me to work when I'd asked, much of my discomfort could have been avoided."

"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it. Have you and Amy talked at all?" Leonard took his gaze from the road for a second, noting Sheldon was now looking at him.

"Of course we spoke to each other, that was the purpose of being left in the room together."

Leonard heaved a sigh. "Sheldon, you know that's not what I meant."

"If you mean have we discussed where we go from here, then no. There wasn't sufficient time. I would think given the length of time you were in the waiting area you would have realized that."

They were getting nowhere, the place where conversations with Sheldon often ended up. Leonard changed his focus. "How do you feel about all this? You've done your best to avoid acknowledging Amy is pregnant."

Sheldon looked out the window again. Leonard wasn't surprised at the stretch of silence, but was taken aback when his friend was actually honest. "I don't know what to think, Leonard." he sighed, and seemed so lost that any earlier anger Leonard felt towards him disappeared. He knew he'd be thrown for a loop if it had been Penny who was pregnant, and he was more emotionally suited to handle the shock than Sheldon was. There was nothing about this situation that _wasn't_ disruptive. It completely messed with Sheldon's world view and if Leonard looked at it from that angle, his roommate was actually handling things better than he thought he would. Still, Amy needed more than Sheldon not going off the deep end, and Leonard didn't know if his roommate would be able to give her that.

"It's hard to dispute the evidence," Sheldon added, pulling a copy of the sonogram from his breast pocket, and examining it. "A new Homo Novus." He stared at the picture, then said. "I'm excited about that part, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, the chance to indoctrinate a superior form of Humanity. Naturally once the child is able to make intelligible sounds I will take over it's education." Sheldon grew more animated the more he spoke. "It's perfectly logical I would instruct the child. I'm the most qualified person on the planet to educate a Homo Novus."

Leonard's eyebrows raised. "What about Amy? Don't you think she's qualified to help educate your 'new species'?"

Sheldon waved his hand dismissively. "Oh, I'm sure she'll be of some help. She'll be much better suited to teaching the child social graces after all. I'm not as qualified in that area."

"You don't say," Leonard said dryly.

"And she'll be responsible for taking care of the child's physical needs. She'll have plenty to contribute to our gift to Humanity."

Leonard rolled his eyes, wishing he hadn't steered Sheldon down this path. True, it was better to hear Sheldon talking about the future in conjunction with the baby, but some of his notions. . . . Well, Amy would probably knock some of that out of him, he reasoned. Failing that, Penny and Bernadette would no doubt take up the gauntlet.

Sheldon turned towards him. "What do you think about the baby, Leonard?"

"What do _I _think?" he parroted.

"Yes, what do you think, you obviously heard me, so why ask again?" Leonard was puzzled. _What was he getting at?_

"I'm not sure what I think," he said, purposely trying to be vague so Sheldon couldn't twist things around on him. "You mean about the baby?"

Sheldon's sigh was long-suffering. "Yes, Leonard, about the baby. Isn't that what we've been talking about?"

"I don't really have an opinion. It's your baby."

"Yes, but it's going to impact your life as well. No doubt Amy is going to be over more, there will be a squalling infant disturbing practically all our activities. I just thought you might have something to say on the subject." Until Sheldon put it that way, he hadn't really thought about it. Sure, he'd readily agreed with Penny they had to "be there" for Amy and the baby, especially since it was obvious Sheldon had no plans to be. But now that Leonard thought about it, he really had no idea what that entailed. He guessed it would be some babysitting duties, but beyond that he hadn't considered what adding a child to the group dynamic would mean.

"I guess we take it one day at a time," he finally said, knowing that wasn't really the answer Sheldon was looking for. "We promised Amy we'd lend a hand, and that same commitment extends to you as well." Sheldon bobbed his head once then turned his attention back out the window. "I think Raj said it best."

Sheldon looked back over at him, puzzled. "I don't know what you mean."

"He keeps calling it 'our baby.' I think that says it all."

Sheldon nodded. "In the venerable words of Teal'c from Stargate SG-1: Indeed."


	9. Chapter 9

**_A/N: Thanks for the continued reviews, favorites and follows. Your interest is sincerely appreciated. _**

**_9_**

It was Friday, vintage video game night. Usually Amy would be standing at Penny's door anticipating a girl's night while the guys got all worked up over Super Mario Brothers, but tonight she was facing 4A. Sheldon had asked her to come over, and she was anticipating a quiet evening getting reacquainted and discussing the future. She couldn't have been more surprised when Sheldon opened the door and she saw everyone gathered. The chatter among the friends was so loud and chaotic, Amy wondered why she hadn't heard it in the hallway.

Penny was in the kitchen portioning take-out, while Leonard waited to distribute plates to the waiting throng. "Hey, look!" she cried out. "Amy's here!" There were a chorus of enthusiastic greetings, and Amy felt a bit overwhelmed. She hadn't even realized she'd sidled up to Sheldon until he was taking a step back to avoid touching her.

Amy looked up at him. "I thought we might get a chance to talk." She said, feeling disappointed and as though she might start to cry. Everything seemed like a crisis these days. Then her emotions switched to shame. Her friends had been nothing but helpful and supportive and here she was, wishing them gone.

"I was hoping for some quiet myself," he was whispered into her ear, "But it seems everyone else had other plans."

Smiling, Amy nodded at her friends as she removed her jacket. Sheldon took it from her, placing it on the back of his desk chair next to his, giving her the warmest feeling. Such a minor thing, but the sight of their garments on the same chair felt somehow intimate.

"Come have a seat," he offered, gesturing to the sofa. Bernadette started to slide over but Sheldon stopped her. "You can have my spot, he said, taking a seat in the wide armchair. All conversation stopped as everyone's mouths dropped open in shock and Amy's stomach squirmed with the unwanted attention. Brushing her hair off her shoulder, she let out slight chuckle.

"I feel like a princess." That seemed to break the tension in the room enough for everyone to return to their former discussions, but she noticed the furtive looks her friends kept casting at Sheldon. Something was definitely up. Leonard handed her a plate with her favorite Chinese food, as he cast a glance at Sheldon sitting in what was traditionally his spot. He didn't make a fuss about pulling up a desk chair, and Amy couldn't help but notice the contrast in roommates. Penny pulled up another chair and dug into her meal with gusto.

"Yesterday was quite an exciting day, huh?" Leonard was grinning, looking around at the assembly as he stabbed a fork into his mu shu pork. Several heads nodded, and again Amy found herself the recipient of everyone's attention. Normally she would enjoy the notice, but she was feeling shy for a reason she couldn't name.

"I think Amy's a little overwhelmed by it all," Sheldon said with an unusual amount of insight. "I know I am." He hadn't looked up from his food, but continued to stir it around with his chop sticks. Amy didn't think she'd seen him take a bite. She looked over at him, shocked he was being so considerate in light of his recent behavior.

"I know I'd be overwhelmed," Penny said around a dumpling. "I'm not sure I'd be handling it as well."

Amy smiled. "Thank you, Bestie, but I'm sure you'd deal with the situation with the same grace and charm you apply to all areas of your life."

"Charm," Sheldon snorted, shaking his head, still focused on stirring his food.

Penny gave Sheldon a withering stare that was totally lost on him. "Thank you, Amy."

"So, what's next?" Howard asked. "You two crazy kids going to try to create lightning in a bottle again and have sex?"

Bernadette elbowed him hard in the ribs. "Howie!"

Howard looked genuinely pained as he rubbed the side of his chest. "What? Am I wrong? Don't tell me the rest of you weren't thinking the same thing!" Amy was sure she'd never been so embarrassed in her life.

Raj raised his glass of sparkling apple cider. "I'd like to propose a toast," Amy could have hugged him. She didn't know if he was purposely trying to change the subject or if it was just great timing, but she felt some of her embarrassment easing. "To Amy, her baby and all the aunts and uncles." It hadn't escaped Amy's notice Raj hadn't put Sheldon on the spot by specifically labeling him as the father, giving him the opportunity to claim uncle status if he chose. Or no status. He'd claimed paternity earlier in the day, but she thought that might have been for the benefit of the doctor.

"To Amy," they all said, holding up their glasses of cider. Everyone took a drink simultaneously except for Sheldon, who announced,

"I believe the next move is for Amy and I to marry."

Six mouths expelled liquid at the same time. Penny was choking. "_Excuse me?! _You can barely look at her and now you want to get _married?_"

Sheldon didn't look up at any of them. "Under the circumstances, I believe social convention dictates I make an honest woman of her."

"An 'honest woman'?" Howard laughed. "What century are you living in?"

"Howard!" Everyone called.

Amy was unable to process the last minute. _Sheldon wanted to marry her? Well, _wanted_ wasn't the word she would have chosen. He felt _ placed her plate on the coffee table, stood, tugged on her cardigan, then grabbed Sheldon by the wrist. She felt him trying to break free from her grasp but she was having none of it.

"We need to talk."

"Amy! I'm. . ."

"_Now!_" she commanded, dragging him towards his room, protesting all the way. On the edge of her hearing she heard Howard quip, "No doubt about who's going to wear the pants in _that_ family."

She was furious, embarrassed, and yes, even a bit hopeful. Perhaps that was the worst of it. After all the emotional misery Sheldon had put her through, she was still hopeful he was sincere about getting married. That it was something he wanted and not something expected of him.

Amy opened his bed room door, practically thrusting him inside. "Sit down." He went meekly, taking a seat on his bed. He looked up at her, scared, like a child anticipating punishment for an infraction he hadn't realized he'd committed. At his expression, all the fight left her. "Sheldon, what was that all about?"

"You mean us getting," he swallowed, "Married?" He'd forced the last word out. Obviously it pained him and he looked to be on the verge of panic.

"Yes, that. Where in the world did that come from? Yesterday you didn't want to come to the doctor's office and now you think we should get _married?_" She was standing over him, arms crossed over her chest.

He patted the spot next to him. "Would you sit down?" When she didn't move he rolled his eyes and added, "Please?"

Amy uncrossed her arms. "Fine," she said, taking a seat on his bed far enough away that neither of them would feel uncomfortable. He didn't say anything for long minutes. "Well?"

Licking his lips, Sheldon took a deep breath. "I've been thinking a lot since the ultra-sound." He was looking down at his bed, smoothing a crease in the comforter.

"Go on," she prompted when it appeared that was all he was going to say.

"About my mother and Meemaw." He looked up her then. "How I _can't_ tell either of them about the. . .baby." Again there was the difficulty in getting the last word out. It was apparent to Amy he was still trying to wrap his big, bulbous brain around the fact she was pregnant, despite events from the other morning.

"Of course you can tell them. It's hardly a secret."

"But don't you see? It _has_ to be. My mother will _kill_ me for what she's going to see as us having sinned."

Amy felt the desire to smile. He sounded like a child who'd accidentally broken a window and lived in fear of his mother's reprisal. "Sheldon, I doubt your mother will actually cause you physical harm over this. True, she might be a bit disappointed at first, but she'll get over it. So will your Meemaw. They love you and you could never do anything for them to stop loving you." _The same holds true for me,_ she thought. A_fter all the grief you've caused me, I still love you._

Sheldon was shaking his head. "You don't understand. You've met my mother, her religion is everything to her. How will she ever be able to hold her head up in church knowing her son has an illegitimate child on the way?"

Amy started at his words. "Illegitimate? Is that what you think? Like this baby will be an embarrassment to you?"

"In a word, yes." His tone wasn't hesitant in the least and his stark honesty had her choking back tears.

"How do you think that makes _me_ feel?"

Sitting up straighter, he blinked, "I couldn't say how you feel. In the first place I don't go for all that 'hippy dippy' feeling stuff you seem so fond of, let alone know what's going on in your head."

She couldn't believe she was going to have to explain to him how belittling his statement was. Amy gulped, trying to work past the lump in her throat. "Sheldon, do you have any idea how cheap you made me feel that night? The humiliation I felt as you raced from my bed to wash away our love making?"

This time it was Sheldon who jerked. She could see the memory of that night was coming back to him in high definition detail, and all his uncontrolled movement was a precursor to flight. She couldn't let that happen. He'd go into lockdown mode letting everything fester. The only way either of them was going to get past the emotions of that night was to face them, whether they wanted to or not.

Closing her eyes for a moment, Amy took a breath then leveled her gaze on Sheldon. "Why did you come to my apartment that night?"

His twitching intensified. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Well we have to! We're never going to move on if we don't talk about this!"

Crossing his arms, Sheldon turned away from her, leaving her facing his back. Amy knew his tactic of dismissal, but wasn't going to let him get away with it. She was frustrated with his immature behavior, but when Sheldon didn't want to budge, he was an immoveable force.

Amy waited, but Sheldon kept his jaw clenched in determination, still refusing to look at her. "Fine," she said standing up. "I reject your suggestion of marriage. Currently it is based solely on your need to please your mother and Meemaw and I don't feel it is a solid enough basis for a lasting relationship. If you change your mind about discussing what landed us in this particular circumstance, I'll be in the living room with our friends, who'll no doubt feel the urge to mock me and you as well." She started for the door and had her hand on the knob when his voice stopped her.

"Amy wait." He sighed, and when she turned around, Amy could see him rolling his eyes. "Fine. I'll submit to your blackmail. But I want it noted it was done under duress."

She couldn't help a triumphant smirk. "So noted." Moving back to the bed, Amy sat down, purposely moving a little closer to him. She was pushing it, she knew, but she didn't want him getting the impression he'd achieved any sort of victory. "My apartment. Why did you come over?"

Sheldon took his time in answering. "I hadn't planned on it." His voice was low. He looked up at her, then quickly away. "You know I'd been drinking."

"Yes. That was rather evident. I don't know what prompted your foray into the bottle."

"You, actually."

Amy was truly puzzled. What had she done? "I don't understand. I don't recall there being a problem prior to that evening."

Sheldon turned a little more in her direction. "You asked me to come to your conference with you." He inhaled. "And share a room with you." He kept casting little glances her way and Amy realized she'd played more of a role in the genesis of that night than she'd originally thought.

She slid a little closer to him, but didn't initiate any physical contact. "Sheldon, I'm sorry the thought of sharing a room with me caused you so much stress. It would have been two beds."

His attention focused on the comforter. "But that's not what you wanted. What you were really hoping for was we'd share the same bed." She wanted to deny his statement, but couldn't. Of course she was hoping their proximity might engender some show of interest or affection on his part, but she wasn't planning on it. If by chance something _would_ have happened, she would have counted herself fortunate. As it was, she hadn't attended the conference, too distraught to focus on anything beyond getting up each morning and going to work.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I didn't realize the pressure I was placing on you."

His gaze met hers in an unwavering stare. "You _always_ put pressure on me." he stated with no artifice, and suddenly, Amy felt ashamed for how relentlessly she pushed him to feel more for her.

Amy swallowed hard, brushing tears away. "I know, and I'm sorry." She gave a little ironic chuckle. "It seems like all I keep saying is 'I'm sorry.'" She hung her head, dejected. Was it any wonder their relationship was going nowhere when it was a constant tug-of-war? Each of them applying equal force?

"You're a good girlfriend, Amy." He'd said the words before, but this time they left her wondering what he was getting at. "I need pushing. I don't like it, but many times I _am_ happy you've helped me to accomplish something I've found difficult. Not the closure thing, though," he was quick to point out. "What I'm saying is, I want to be that man who can give you what you need. I just don't know if I can."

Amy melted. Sometimes he could be so sweet, she wanted to leap into his lap, kiss him endlessly and never let go. Then his next words would be ill-considered and hurtful. She found she was waiting with trepidation for the bitter words, but for once they didn't come.

"Sheldon, you _can_. You _did_," she said, unconsciously placing her hand on her stomach. When she noticed what she was doing and where his gaze landed, she quickly pulled back. He was getting upset again, tears forming as the memories came over him.

"Amy, I'm above my base urges. When I'm in my right mind, I'm not driven by lust like most men."

"Is that why you were drinking? To try to lose your inhibitions?"

Sheldon's eyes glazed over, as if he was literally watching the events of that evening, then he turned to her. "Perhaps, in a way. I don't know that I consciously intended to do it." He paused, contemplating, then added, "I needed to talk to Penny, and since it involved discussing uncomfortable topics, I thought some alcohol might help me get the words out."

Amy was incredulous. "_You_ were having trouble with words?"

He gave a breathy laugh, "I know, right?" Then, just as suddenly, he was serious again. "I asked her about dealing with the issue of our sharing a room. You know what she said? That I should kiss you! That was her advice! That if I kissed you, maybe some of the tension would go away. I tried to tell her it was ridiculous, but after a second drink, it didn't seem as preposterous as it first had."

Amy had never seen Sheldon drunk before the night he'd showed up at her door. Howard, however, had taken great delight in sending her the link to the YouTube video of Sheldon's award dinner where, with the aid of too much wine, he proceeded to make an ass of himself. And show it as well. She'd thought the experience had cured him of using alcohol as a proverbial crutch until word of his chivalrous confrontation with Wil Wheaton reached her. More than once she wished she'd taken him home the night he showed up at her door.

Shaking herself from her reverie, Amy concluded, "So you came to my apartment to see if kissing me would work."

Sheldon was looking down at his hands resting in his lap. "I guess. I don't really remember much of what happened, except. . .well. . .the part at the end." He flashed a glance at her, then looked away, bright patches of red standing out on his cheeks.

Amy shifted uncomfortably. She didn't want to think of the aftermath any more than he did. "Do you feel as though I took advantage of you?"

He thought for a moment. "No." He fidgeted some more. "Well, maybe a little." Looking up, Sheldon met her gaze. He looked so vulnerable, she wanted to assure him she would never do such a thing, but in truth, she _had_ taken the opportunity he'd offered her. "Amy, you knew I wasn't myself."

Amy nodded. "I know, but when you started kissing me, any thoughts I had of stopping you flew right out of my head. You _know_ how I felt, how I feel. You were touching me without me badgering you. I couldn't help myself." Amy knew she was flushed as bright red as he was. It wasn't easy being this honest with him, especially when he could revert to Condescending Sheldon at any moment. She took a fortifying breath. "Was there anything about that night you. . .liked?" Now she held her breath, hoping there was _something_ about their encounter that wasn't repellant to him.

Sheldon's cheeks blazed anew. Whether he spoke or not, Amy knew the truth—he had enjoyed it. At least some of it. It gave her a new found sense of power to know she'd turned him on, and it was heady. The only trouble was, without alcohol, she doubted there would be a repeat performance. He'd already talked himself back into believing he was above sexual urges, and Sheldon's will was a formidable thing.

Sheldon was drawing patterns on the comforter with his index finger, his gaze following the movement. "There. . .might have been one. . .or two things that weren't awful."

Amy chuckled. "Wow, be still my heart." Sheldon looked up at that, almost angry.

"I don't think you appreciate how difficult this is for me. To talk to you, to admit. . . ."

"I _do_ know, Sheldon." She sighed, knowing that was as close as she was likely to come to her answers. He _was_ attracted to her, but there might never be another occurrence. Could she live with that? Was she willing to marry him in name only to satisfy the dictates of his relatives?

"So that brings us back to the original topic. I think we should get married."

"Sheldon, don't you think it's a bad idea to get married just because you mom and Meemaw will expect it of you?"

His face had the blank, 'I'm processing' stare she was all too familiar with. Then he turned to her. "No." She started to argue but he held his hand up. "Let me ask you a question. Have you told _your_ mother?"

This time it was she who looked away. "Um, no. I haven't."

"And wouldn't you find it easier to tell her of her impending grandchild if you were married?"

_Well, he has a point_, she thought. "I suppose," she conceded.

"Nothing is going to change," he insisted. "I suppose we'll be required to live in the same household, but we will maintain separate rooms, and the Relationship Agreement will stand."

"You don't think we're going to need a Marriage Agreement? Right now we're back to electronic means of communication. I'm not going to be married to you and text you from my room!"

Sheldon wiggled around. "I suppose you're right, there will have to be some amendments, but regular coitus will not be one of them!"

"So what you're saying is we'd be glorified roommates."

He thought for a bit. "Yes."

"If _that_ isn't a romantic notion," she quipped.

"Amy, romance has nothing to do with this. It's a matter of practicality." Amy burst into tears. She couldn't help it. Not that she _ever_ expected Sheldon to propose on bended knee, but she hoped _some_ expression of affection would accompany an offer of marriage.

"Amy, what's wrong?" he asked. He looked confused and upset by her tears but at the moment she couldn't give a rat's ass about his discomfort.

"You might at least tell me _why_ you want to marry me!"

Sheldon sighed. "I thought we've been all through this!" He was shaking his head. "For someone whose I.Q. is nearly equal to mine, I wouldn't think I'd have to explain it again!"

Amy took a deep breath, trying to calm the hurt and disappointment she felt. "Isn't there any reason you want to marry me other than convenience? Don't you care about me at all?"

"Of course I care about you. You're my girlfriend!"

Bracing herself for more rejection, Amy tentatively asked, "Sheldon? Do you love me? Even a little?"

His face drained of all color and Amy was afraid he might faint. "I. . .well. . .that is. . . ."

"Never mind." she snapped. _She knew the truth, why did she make him spell it out for her? Was she _trying _to hurt herself?_ She'd looked away, unable to face him and the despair she felt. She hadn't seen him move towards her or see him extend his hand, but suddenly, there it was, his palm lying on top of the back of her hand as he slid his fingers between hers. It wasn't the conventional palm-to-palm hand holding, but it had been so long since she'd had physical contact with him in any capacity, it was making her dizzy.

"Amy," he said softly. "I'm sorry you're upset. I want to tell you what you want to hear, but I don't want to lie, either."

She nodded, wiping tears from under her eyes with her free hand. "I'm not saying I'll never feel. . .that. . . for you. I just don't right now."

Amy blinked back fresh tears. _He's just being honest. Would you rather he professed undying love and didn't mean it? _"I know," she said, feeling the need to clear her throat. She looked down at his hand covering hers. "Can we at least put hand holding back into the Agreement?"

Sheldon sighed, once again rolling his eyes. "I suppose. But I want it noted. . ."

"That it was under duress," she finished for him, feeling a slight smile come to her lips. She took a deep breath, and on the exhale said, "Yes, Sheldon. I'll marry you."


	10. Chapter 10

**_10_**

Sheldon flopped back against his bed. _Oh, God! _Now_ what have I done? It wasn't bad enough to impregnate Amy, now I asked her to marry me? Where does this insanity end?_ Amy had left his room to go face their friends. She'd wanted him to come with her, but he asked, no _begged_, for a few minutes alone. His life was continuing to spiral out of control, and from any angle it was apparent his dreams were bursting into flames. He would find a way to gain control. He _would not_ sacrifice his goals. It might take longer than he wanted, but he _would_ win the Nobel Prize. How many times had Leonard pointed out Einstein managed to find a way to have a family and make ground-breaking discoveries? If he could do it, Sheldon Lee Cooper could too, and do it better.

Feeling a little calmer, Sheldon sat up and looked around his room. Nothing was going to have to change. He'd have his room and Amy would have. . . . What? For the first time he considered where Amy was going to stay when they got married. He'd told her she wouldn't be in his room, but what was the other option? She couldn't sleep on the couch. Would he have to move to accommodate Amy? Would they need to find some place with three bedrooms? Would Leonard even stay roommates with him when he married her? Obviously he hadn't thought this through. Just another example of how Amy Farrah Fowler had turned his life upside down from the moment he'd met her.

"Oh, what fresh Hell _is_ this?" he asked the empty room, gripping his head in his hands. Maybe he should tell Amy that upon reflection it wasn't such a good idea they get married. He'd find some way to break the news to his mother. Would she be any more scandalized he had a baby out of wedlock than having premarital sex? Either one was likely to give her apoplexy. If he didn't "do the right thing" by Amy, his mother was likely to show up and cart him off to Texas, away from the den of iniquity known as Pasadena. She'd stick him in some religious cult and not allow him release until he sincerely renounced science. Sheldon shuddered. Surely it was easier to resolve his domicile dilemma rather than face his mother. Just as he was about to lay back down, there was a knock on his door.

"Sheldon? Buddy? Can we talk? The others have left."

"Is Amy still here?"

Leonard continued speaking through his closed door. "Um, yeah. Would you like me to ask her to leave? She could probably hang out over at Penny's for a little while." Sheldon thought about the offer. It would be easier to talk to Leonard if they were alone, but he didn't want Amy to return to her apartment. There was a lot the three of them had to decide. _Why do I even have to decide? Why can't I just wake up and this will all be some hellish nightmare?_

"Yes, please ask her to go see Penny. Let her know it's only temporary though." Sheldon heard Leonard's retreating footsteps and half expected to hear Amy slamming the apartment door, but there was nothing. Apparently Leonard managed to placate her.

Footsteps came closer. "She's gone. You can come out."

Cautiously, Sheldon looked around his door frame. He didn't think Leonard would try to trick him, but he wasn't taking any chances. Walking to the kitchen, he watched Leonard place the kettle on the stove.

Leonard smiled at him and pushed a mug and the box of tea toward him. "I thought you might like some tea."

"Yes. Thank you, Leonard." Sheldon took a seat at the island while his roommate chose to remain standing. He was concentrating on his mug, unable to meet Leonard's gaze. "If you're going to mock me, please get it out of the way."

"Mock you? Why would I do that? Sheldon, you're taking responsibility for your actions. Why would I make fun of you for that?"

"Howard would," he said, continuing to stare at the countertop.

"Well I'm not Howard! And why do you care what he thinks anyway? You barely tolerate him."

He looked up, realizing Leonard was right. "True. It's like being mocked by an inferior life form, and that shouldn't bother me." Leonard said nothing, just stared at him.

Sheldon went about fixing his mug, carefully unwrapping a tea bag, placing it so the string and paper tab were lying to the right of the handle. He then squirted two seconds worth of honey into the bottom. Looking up, he saw Leonard watching his actions. They didn't say anything for a few minutes and when the kettle whistled, it broke the stalemate.

"I don't want to get married," Sheldon said, and Leonard stopped stirring his own tea, looking at him with confusion. "I don't want things to change."

"I don't suppose you do. Want things to change, I mean." Leonard took a tentative sip from his mug then added, "So why _did_ you ask Amy to marry you? Howard was right. There really isn't a reason beyond your own sense of morality. You certainly can both raise the child without being married."

"I don't believe my mother would allow me to raise a child with Amy without benefit of marriage."

"Again, it's your life, Sheldon. Is it Amy? Has she pressured you to marry her?"

Sheldon did a double-take. "What? No, of course not! Didn't you see how she reacted? I had to convince her it was the right thing to do."

Leonard's eyebrows seemed to be frozen in a permanent state of bewilderment. "Then I don't get it. Why did you ask her?"

Sheldon sighed and looked at the floor. "I thought it would be in the best interest of the child. I can make sure Amy takes the proper precautions during her pregnancy." It was a moment before he looked up at Leonard. "But I don't want to lose you as a roommate! I like the life we have here! You know my routine, you know how I like my take-out, we've come to have an orderly existence and I don't want to lose that!"

Leonard pulled out the stool across from him and sat down. "I guess I hadn't really considered it, but I guess if you guys get married then I will be moving out. Even if you two were going to share your room it would be kind of weird if you. . ."

"Get a hold of yourself, Leonard!" Sheldon recoiled. "I assure you, just as I did her, we will _not_ be sharing a room."

"I bet that went over well," Leonard mumbled to himself.

"She understood completely. I dare say she welcomed the reassurance our relationship would remain as it is."

Leonard shook his head. "I doubt that. But that's beside the point. The point _is_ if you stay here, Amy's going to need a room, and that room would be mine." He looked to be considering his options when he brightened. "I could ask Penny if she wanted to try living together again!"

"I would think after the last time you wouldn't be so anxious to return. In fact, now that I think about it, I should have taken Amy's moving here into account before offering a state of matrimony." He looked up at his friend. "I can't have 'his' and 'hers' towels in my bathroom again."

Leonard took a drink from his mug, trying to hide his grin. "You didn't really think this through, did you?"

Sheldon slumped and sighed. "No, I didn't. I mean I did, but I guess I forgot about all the minutiae of daily life." Sitting up straighter, he came to a new conclusion. "Perhaps I can un-ask her. Tell her that upon further reflection I've decided to rescind my offer."

"You can't do that. I'm sure she and Penny are deep in wedding plans right about now. You better think about getting measured for a tux."

"Oh, dear Lord!" he cried, leaping to his feet, pacing the room. "I can't do that! Leonard, I can't do a big church wedding! All my relatives will want to be there! All hers! I haven't even met her mother in person! She's never spoken of her father, but is he around? Is he dead? Is some strange man going to suddenly show up and start to give me advice on how to take care of his 'little girl?'" _Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!_

"Sheldon! Calm down! I'm sorry I brought it up! Look, I'm sure there's a way to avoid all that." Leonard was walking back and forth between the living room and the kitchen, twisting his fingers as he thought. "How about this: You and Amy could be married by the Justice of The Peace, like Howard and Bernadette were going to do before he went into space. The only people who would be there would be us, and you can tell your families after the fact. Kind of like eloping but you don't have to run off somewhere."

Sheldon's pacing slowed a bit. "Well, that does seem like a viable alternative," he thought. His mother and Meemaw would be upset to have missed out on seeing him wed, but anymore upset than they were going to be over the reason he would be engaging in a shotgun wedding? He almost giggled at the thought of his mother standing up at his nuptials pointing a firearm in his direction. "I'm sure Amy would prefer the whole big wedding affair, given as how she feels about wearing that silly tiara."

"Maybe you could point out how romantic an elopement can be. She might buy into that."

Sheldon stopped in the middle of the living room, staring at his current roommate. "You have been hanging out with Koothrappali for far too long, Leonard. Romance? Really?"

Leonard too stopped his movements around the room, only to stand fidgeting before Sheldon's piercing stare. "I have sisters," he shrugged, attempting to defend himself. He straightened up, sticking his hands into the pockets of his hoodie. "I think she would agree to the practicality of a civil ceremony. Especially if you pointed out she could wear the tiara."

_It would be a logical solution_, Sheldon thought. He wouldn't have to deal with anyone's relatives and would be surrounded by his friends. If there _was_ an upside to this whole situation, this might be it.

"That still doesn't address the issue of who's going to live where." Sheldon swallowed. He didn't want Leonard to know how much he depended on his companionship. How much better his life was because of their friendship. He didn't want to lose that. He _couldn't_ lose that. Not for Amy, not for anyone. "I, uh, don't want. . . ." he started, but the words seemed lodged in his throat. "Idon'twantyoutoleaveLeonard," he said, hoping if he said it fast enough some of the embarrassment would be negated.

Leonard's gaze traveled around the apartment, studiously avoiding looking at him. "I guess I would kind of miss you too."

"Who said anything about missing each other? I just said I didn't want you to leave. You pay your rent on time."

Leonard shook his head. "Sheldon, we've been over this. Even if there was an extra room, I'm not going to live with you and Amy!"

"I thought you liked Amy after you dated her!"

Leonard did a double-take. "_Dated_ her? I went with her to a wedding! And yes, it did change my opinion of her, but that doesn't mean I want to live with the two of you!"

Sheldon dropped down to his spot on the sofa. "I suppose the only option is to make some arrangement with Penny. If you tried moving in with her again, it would almost be the same as you living here. You could still drive me to work."

"Yeah, that's my prime consideration in finding a place to live."

"Well it should be!" Sheldon said, wondering why this was so hard for Leonard to understand.

"I don't know that me moving in with Penny is such a good idea," Leonard said, beginning his pacing and finger twisting again. "It kind of had a negative effect on our relationship."

"But you're in a much better place now. You told me so yourself."

"Yeah, and I don't want to jeopardize that. _I_ would love to live with Penny," he sighed with a far-off look Sheldon had come to realize was Leonard's "Penny face." "I just don't know if she's ready to try it again."

Sheldon was on his feet heading towards the door. "We'll just go ask her."

"What! Sheldon, No! You can't just. . . ." But he was already across the hall, knocking on her door. On the third rap Penny immediately opened the door. "What's up, Marriage Pup?"

"That just makes no sense at all," Sheldon chided.

Penny shrugged. "It's the only thing I could come up with on short notice." She lounged into the door frame. "So, You and Amy tying the knot! How cute is that?"

"It has nothing to do with a factor of 'cuteness' and everything to do with practicality. Didn't Amy sufficiently explain the logic behind our pending nuptials?"

Penny was waving her hand in the air. "Yeah, she went on about you being able to hold your head up the next time you went home or some nonsense like that." She leaned in closer to him. "I know you just needed some silly excuse to tell Amy how you really feel."

Sheldon was indignant. "I assure you that is not the case! And there certainly would have been no offer of marriage had the current predicament not placed us in this socially awkward situation."

"Whatever, Sheldon. Lie all you want to yourself," she said dismissively. "So, I'm guessing you're here to talk to Amy? Start making some plans?"

"Actually, I'm here to talk to you."

Penny stood up from the door frame, arms crossed over her chest. "Really?"

"Yes. I'm sure you recall your recently failed attempt at living with Leonard."

"Sheldon!" Leonard cried. He was standing on the threshold of their apartment as if a force field prevented him from moving any closer.

Sheldon saw Penny look around him to gaze at Leonard. "I don't know that 'failed attempt' is the term I'd use."

"Oh, so then you won't mind if he moves in with you again so Amy and I can take up residence in my apartment."

Penny shifted from foot to foot, glancing across the hall, then back at Sheldon. "Don't you think we should talk about this? All of us, I mean? Maybe Amy doesn't want to live in your apartment. Maybe she wants some place that's new to both of you."

"Of course she wants to live in my apartment. She wasn't very happy when I asked her to leave."

"That was because of _you_ not the apartment," Penny sighed.

Just then Amy walked up behind Penny. "Sheldon, I don't believe asking your friends to move in together to facilitate your life is acceptable. It's one thing if they are ready for such a commitment but clearly they're not. We shall commence looking for a new place to live."

Sheldon was about to protest when he caught the look Amy gave him. He was proud of himself for recognizing her tactic. "You're right, Amy. It's obvious to me as well that Penny and Leonard are not ready for the reality of cohabitation. We shall have to move both your and my households to a new location."

"Now hold on," Leonard said, entering the hallway. "Sheldon, you love this apartment. You don't want to move."

Sheldon looked at the floor, quickly glancing at Amy and then down again. "I would prefer not to have to move, but I don't wish you and Penny to enter into an agreement simply to accommodate my needs."

"Really? Since when?" Penny asked.

"Since Amy has pointed out to me I'm being selfish."

Leonard moved in closer. "What do you say, Penny? Don't you think we could try it again. I mean things are better between us now, right? It could be a trial run, say, a few months to see how it's working?"

"I would be happy to draft a temporary Cohabitation Agreement," Sheldon helpfully offered.

"Uh, thanks, but no." Penny gave Leonard a pleading look. "I don't know, Leonard. Things are going really well for us right now. I don't want to lose that."

"And I don't want to lose Leonard either," Sheldon confessed. All three of them faced Penny waiting for her answer. Her gaze darted from one to the next. Even Sheldon could see how conflicted she was.

"Okay, fine! We'll give it a shot on a _trial_ basis. No Cohabitation Agreements and no pressure from you!" she said, pointing a finger at Sheldon's chest.

Amy wrapped her arms around her friend, grinning madly. "Thank you, Bestie! This is going to be so great! You and Leonard across the hall, it'll be like a commune! One big happy family!"

"Hippies," Sheldon mumbled, shaking his head as he returned to his apartment.


	11. Chapter 11

**_11_**

Amy sat in the waiting room of the courthouse, smoothing the skirt of her dress. It wasn't floor length, it wasn't white, but the style concealed the slight thickening of her waist. At least she wouldn't look pregnant in the photos her friends were shooting of her. There would be an abundance of pictures featuring a scowling Sheldon, but that was to be expected. She would rather have him looking like himself rather than the scary fake smile he sometimes sported. Not really the sort of memories she was hoping to pass down to future generations.

She was nervous for several reasons. First, one was supposed to feel apprehension on one's wedding day. Second, she worried over what her mother and Sheldon's mother would make of the express union of their children. And third, there was the kiss. It was the most she hoped to gain from the ceremony, but she knew how Sheldon was dreading it. Probably even more than the ritual and its consequences itself.

When Sheldon and Leonard had knocked on Penny's door a mere two and a half days ago, she'd never envisioned this was how she would be spending her Monday morning. Or that the preceding weekend would have been filled with a flurry of activity culminating in actually exchanging vows with Sheldon Lee Cooper. Still, she couldn't argue with his logic. A civil ceremony would be the most practical. It didn't stop her from feeling disappointed, however.

She'd never given up the secret hope that one day she would be married and the day would be a fairytale. Sheldon certainly fit the bill of the tall, handsome groom, and she would be the center of attention for all the right reasons for a change. She would be dressed in a long, flowing white gown, her hair swept up, and the tiara perched on top of her expertly styled tresses. She would truly be a princess.

Looking around the antechamber of the courthouse, Amy saw the reality of her wedding. She was in a below-the-knee yellow dress that matched the shoes she'd bought on an outing with Penny not that long ago. Her bouquet was purchased at a supermarket on the way to the government building, and the only thing she had of the traditional "something blue" was her underwear. Not exactly the storybook wedding she'd envisioned, but there were aspects that compensated. She was surrounded by her friends. Friends she never would have even dreamed of three years ago. And she was marrying the man she loved, even if the feeling wasn't mutual. From the time their relationship had morphed from one of the mind into boyfriend/girlfriend, Amy knew she was more invested than Sheldon. And for the most part, it was okay. She could always hope.

Still, there was the matter of the kiss. Sheldon was nowhere near her, pacing the waiting room with increasing agitation. If someone who didn't know them were to view the scene, they'd suspect Raj was the groom. Dressed in an impeccable suit, and far closer to Amy than the actual groom. _Sheldon does look handsome,_ _though,_ she thought. He had on his black suit, and even though his shirt was dark, the brightly colored tie added a festive look. As she looked closer, she noted the tie was emblazoned with images of some spaceship. She was about to protest his choice, when she stopped herself. They'd both had to make compromises. She gave up her white dress and he a ceremony in Klingon.

Sheldon kept glancing at the clock. They were overdue to being called in, and it only added to his turmoil. Amy was certain he was going to flee at any moment. Just then Penny leaned over and whispered to her.

"Maybe you should see if you can calm him down. You don't want him pitching a fit."

Amy nodded and stood up. "You're right, Bestie. As you always are." Tugging on the skirt of her dress, Amy approached Sheldon with caution.

"Sheldon," she said, reaching out to touch his arm, then pulling back. "I know you're upset that the time slot we signed up for has come and gone, but sometimes things like this happen. I'm sure they will get to us in the order we arrived and we will be next." Sheldon swallowed and nodded, casting a glance at her then looking away. _He can't even look at me_, she thought disparagingly. _How on Earth are we ever going to make this work?_ He looked her way again, and she noticed he was gazing at her mouth. _Yup. Totally freaked out about the kiss._

She lowered her voice so the others couldn't hear. "I'm going to ask to talk to the judge before the ceremony," she said, causing Sheldon to look at her, worried.

"Are you changing your mind? I know this isn't what either of us want, but it's our best option and. . ."

"Sheldon, I'm not changing my mind. At least not about marrying you."

"Then what?" he asked, his expression had now switched to one of confusion.

"I'm going to ask her to leave out the part about the kiss." Instantly he looked relieved and Amy knew she'd made the right decision, even if it meant she'd never be kissed by Sheldon Cooper ever again. Just as suddenly, he stood up straighter.

"No," he said, still looking scared, but resolved as well. "No," he repeated. "You're not going to talk to her. If she doesn't mention a kiss that's one thing, but if it's an accepted social convention then we will adhere to it."

"We'll still be married under California law without it. I don't want this to be any more stressful for you than it already is." _Why am I trying to talk him out of it?_

"Amy," he said, his voice was low and intimate, making butterflies take flight in her stomach. The feeling only intensified when he shifted his gaze to look into her eyes. "You've had to give up your dream of a big wedding. You shouldn't have to give up your kiss as well."

Amy was speechless. _It was the most romantic thing Sheldon had ever said to her! God she loved this man! _"Sheldon," she croaked, emotion closing off her throat, "that's the nicest thing you've ever done for me."

"Well, don't get used to it. This is a one time offer." His tone was brusque but Amy recognized it as an attempt to deflect his embarrassment.

"I'll take it," she said smiling. Amy was turning back to her friends when a clerk announced their names. Everyone stood, adjusting garments and smiling at them, waiting for their cues. Amy took Sheldon's hand and when he tried to pull away, she leaned over and whispered,

"Social convention. We are getting married after all."

Sheldon sighed. "Fine. But I want it noted how we're not even wed and I'm being manipulated." Amy smiled despite his statement. She was too excited to be put off by his lack of enthusiasm. Standing before the judge, the short ceremony was mostly a blur to Amy. She was so busy watching Sheldon for signs of flight she missed the part where she was supposed to declare her intentions towards him. If it hadn't been for Penny nudging her, the official might have thought she'd changed her mind. She did notice when Sheldon stumbled over some of the promises he was making, but that was about all that registered with her.

That is until the kiss. She heard the announcement to kiss the bride and waited. And waited. And waited some more. Sheldon was as pale as she'd ever seen him and Amy was sure he was about to pass out. Glancing around at her friends she saw they were all feeling the tension of biding their time until Sheldon made a move. Clearing her throat, the judge made a sound as if to say "get on with it." Amy was about to lean in, ending the stalemate with a quick peck, when Sheldon stepped closer, took her by the shoulders and kissed her. Not just a momentary pressing of lips, but what she would ever after think of as a real kiss. He held her close, and even though she could practically see him counting the seconds until he could satisfy social requirements and release her, the pressure on her lips was intoxicating. Flashes of the kisses they shared that fateful night came back to her and she knew he remembered how to do it right. _Beyond right_, she thought. Still, today's kiss was more than she'd ever hoped for from him.

Sheldon stepped back, tugging at his suit coat, cheeks ablaze. Amy felt her own blush rising when she looked over at Penny and Bernadette. Both women had tears in their eyes and Penny was fanning her face in an effort to control her emotions.

"That was the most romantic thing I've ever seen!" she gushed, rushing forward to embrace both of them. Amy returned the hug as Sheldon stood as straight as he could, to minimize his contact with the effusive blonde.

"That's quite enough, Penny," he admonished, breaking free, pushing towards the exit with Amy in tow. It was the first time she noticed their hands were joined. _When did he take my hand? How did I miss it? _Noticing where her gaze was focused, Sheldon dropped her appendage, walking on ahead. It felt a little cold, especially after the vows they'd just exchanged, but this was Sheldon and a minor thing like marriage wasn't going to change him. She looked over at her best friend and shrugged before following him out the door.

xxxxxx

Penny opened the door to Amy and Sheldon's apartment to finalize preparations for the newlywed's reception. She and Amy both tried to talk Sheldon into renting a hall so it would seem more like a conventional wedding, but Sheldon had refused on the grounds his mother would be further put out she hadn't been invited. The whole point of the civil union, he said, was to avoid relatives and undue stress. Penny, however, had put her foot down about a party afterwards, even if it was just their friends.

"Raj, are you just about ready? They'll be here any minute!"

"Can you give me a hand? This needs to be perfect! Just like their love," he sighed wistfully. Penny stepped closer and helped Raj with the crepe paper streamer he was twisting and attaching to the kitchen light fixture.

"Yeah. Perfect. That's how I'd describe it."

Raj looked down at her. "Didn't you think the ceremony was romantic?"

"Romantic? It seemed kind of clinical if you ask me."

"But when he kissed her!"

Penny felt her gaze drift, smiling. "I guess you're right, that was kinda sweet. And sad, too."

Securing the last streamer, Raj climbed down from the kitchen island. "Why do you think it was sad?"

"Well, it's probably the last kiss she'll ever get from that whack job."

Raj was moving around the room straightening various wedding-themed paraphernalia. "I think you're wrong. I think Sheldon loves Amy, he just doesn't want to admit it."

Penny pulled a large mixing bowl from the cupboard, pouring in juice and soda. Normally, she would be adding a fifth of vodka to her punch, but out of deference to the pregnant bride and her alcohol intolerant husband, Penny opted for extra ginger ale to give her mixture some zing.

"Well, time will tell ," she said, stirring the punch just enough to mix the liquids. "Did you make the ice ring?"

"Just like I saw on Martha Stewart! It has strawberries and oranges frozen into it!" Raj enthused, reaching into what was now Sheldon _and_ Amy's freezer. It felt a little strange thinking of the household items belonging to them rather than Leonard and Sheldon. Leonard didn't have much in the way of housewares, but since she, Penny, had more than enough dishes, it worked out.

The group of them had moved the majority of Amy's things over the weekend and surprisingly Sheldon hadn't made much of a fuss. What gaps there were in Sheldon's accoutrements, seemed to be filled by Amy's so there wasn't much for him to grouse about. There were many duplicate items where cooking utensils were concerned, and they agreed donating extras to a thrift store run by a charitable organization was the best option.

Penny could already see the influence Amy was having on Sheldon. When he started complaining about simply giving away his belongings, Amy pointed out he had no use for them, and how much better he would feel knowing he helped out his fellow man. Sheldon of course tried to argue, until Amy further pointed out how his winning a Nobel Prize was going to benefit mankind and this was a small step in that direction. That had worked, much to Penny's amazement. They actually _were_ a good fit.

It had only been two nights of living with Leonard, but so far, so good. Both of them were trying so hard not to push the other, that Penny wondered what would happen when they stopped trying to be so polite. Hopefully they'd settle down at the same time and things would only continue to improve.

Penny felt her phone buzz in her pocket. Pulling it out, she read: **_On our way!_** "Bernadette says they're on their way. Are you ready?"

Raj took one more sweep around the room, making sure everything was just so. "I'm so nervous! I hope they like it!"

"Of course they will!" Penny assured him, giving his shoulders a little hug. "Well, at least Amy will. She'll know all the trouble you went to to make this day special for them."

"I guess the best we can hope for from Sheldon is that he doesn't throw us all out."

Penny gave his shoulders one last squeeze as she heard Sheldon complaining as he ascended the stairs.

"I just don't understand why we had to take such a convoluted route home! And all that honking! It wasn't like there was any more traffic than usual."

Then Penny heard Amy's exasperated reply. "Sheldon, in most wedding traditions the newlywed couple take a drive around their locale, announcing their co-joining by making noise to attract attention. We were simply following convention."

"But wasn't it enough to have the rear of Leonard's car marked with the words 'recently pair-bonded'?"

They must have been rounding the last set of stairs because Penny could hear Amy more clearly. "I thought it was a nice twist on the more standard 'Just Married.'"

"You would," Sheldon griped.

Penny looked over at Raj who was practically vibrating with excitement. She hoped he wouldn't be crushed when Sheldon's reaction would be less than enthusiastic. From the sound of things, he was already in a mood. The door opened and in unison, Penny and Raj cried,

"Surprise!"

Sheldon stepped into the room, shaking his head. "I suppose I should have been expecting this." He sounded as though he were heading to the gallows rather than a wedding celebration. Amy, however, more than made up for his dour reply.

"Sheldon, look!" she cried, whirling around the room, taking in the decorations. "You did all of this for us?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes.

"Well, mostly you," Penny said, accepting Amy's overly-physical hug. "Sheldon, not so much." Amy released her and moved on to Raj, who received an equally aggressive embrace.

"Thank you!" Amy's arm was still around his shoulders as she turned to her friends. "Thank all of you. I can't thank you enough for all the help you've been this weekend moving my things and today. You're the best friends in the whole world!"

"Oh, it was nothing," Sheldon said, waving his hand and moving further into the apartment. "All they did was move a few boxes."

"It was more than you did," Howard said just loud enough for everyone to hear. Bernadette was already elbowing him in the ribs before he finished his sentence.

"Someone needed to supervise. Now, let's get this celebration nonsense out of the way so things can get back to normal. And Raj, I'll thank you to unhand my wife."

Penny's mouth dropped open as she cast a disbelieving glance at Leonard who was dropping keys in the bowl by the door. As if remembering his keys now lived across the hallway, he fished them back out, giving her a little shrug. She wasn't sure if the shrug was for his forgetfulness or Sheldon's behavior, but she was having none of it. While Raj had done most of the work getting the party together, she'd given up her free time to make sure the couple had something special to mark the occasion as well.

"Sheldon!" she snapped. "Outside. Now!"

He looked perfectly confused. "What did I do?"

"Out!" Everyone watched as Penny pointed to the door leading to the hallway. Grudgingly, Sheldon moved towards the exit, mumbling as he went. Once the door was shut, Penny rounded on him, forgetting how the sound of their voices would carry.

"Do you have any idea how much effort Raj put into this party? He had two days to pull this together and look what a great job he did!"

"I didn't ask him to plan a party." Sheldon had crossed his arms and stood sulking at the top of the landing.

"No, you didn't. You also haven't thought once today about Amy!"

Sheldon's arms dropped away and his voice rose nearly an octave. "Of course I thought about Amy! I got married to her!"

"The only thing you thought about her was that she was inconveniencing you!" Penny took a deep breath, trying to rein in her anger. "Sheldon, I know this isn't what you wanted. It isn't the way Amy wanted to marry you either, but you _did_ get married. You have to try to make the best of it."

"Why do _I_ have to make all the concessions? My best friend had to move out. I have to live with Amy. Do you have any idea how much this has upset my routine?"

"Your. . . .! I know this is hard to believe, but everything isn't about you, Sheldon Cooper!"

His arms were crossed again and he turned his back to her. "Well, it should be!" Heedless of his aversion to touch, Penny grabbed his upper arm and spun him back to face her.

"You listen to me. You're going to go back in there, and be pleasant, and thank your friends who have gone well above and beyond to help you. And you are going to be nice to Amy and make up for the wedding she forfeited to make you happy. You got that? Or so help me I _will_ go all Nebraska on your ass!"

Sheldon looked down at the hand still gripping his arm, and swallowed. "Yes, ma'am."

Penny released him and stood up taller. "Good. Now lets get back in there before anything else goes wrong." She made Sheldon go first so he couldn't escape. As they entered, all conversation ground to a halt. Everyone's eyes were on him but he remained silent. Penny nudged him. "Sheldon, don't you have something to say?" Clearing his throat, Sheldon shifted his gaze from the gathering to Penny and back again.

"I wish to thank you all for everything you have done for me this past weekend and today. Have done for both of us," he added, looking back over at Penny for approval.

She smiled reassuringly and whispered, "Good job, Sweetie. Now go stand over by Amy" He rolled his eyes but did as she bid. She'd hoped her days as social counselor to Sheldon Cooper were at their end now that Amy was in the picture, but she sighed, knowing her role had only increased.

xxxxxx

Leonard picked up a paper cup, shaking his head over the whimsical heart design with the names "Sheldon" and "Amy" and the date printed in the center of the drawing. He was impressed Raj had managed the decorations on such short notice, but not surprised. If he hadn't been an astrophysicist, Leonard was sure Raj could have had a career as a wedding planner.

Filling the cup with Penny's punch, Leonard observed his group of friends. Raj's tie and suit coat were missing, the top button of his white shirt unbuttoned. Howard's black vest had vanished but he remained clad in a white turtleneck with a matching black and white alien pin. He recognized Bernadette's influence in the color combination, seeing as his black jeans had actually matched the vest.

As Amy's brides maids, Penny and Bernadette's outfits matched, and Leonard had no doubt who'd picked out the dresses. Penny had moaned endlessly about the style and color, and surprisingly it was he, Leonard, who'd managed to convince her she could wear it for one day. Especially when the only people who would see the frilled, ruffled monstrosity would be their friends who were all well versed in Amy's strange sense of fashion.

To look out at the gathering, Sheldon seemed the most normal of all of them. He stood next to Amy, looking quite relaxed with one hand in his pant's pocket, the other clutching a paper cup of punch. He was arguing about something with Bernadette, but not in his usual angry tone. Maybe Amy was calming him down already. He didn't really believe that, but he could hope. At one point he saw Sheldon look over his shoulder at Penny, giving her his unsettling, manic grin, causing Leonard to shudder.

Although this party wasn't a typical wedding reception, Leonard did feel as Sheldon's Best Man, he should say something to mark the occasion. What did he say about a situation that defied logic? His friend wasn't excited in the least about about being married, and despite their joining being Sheldon's idea, Leonard had been prepared to bodily haul him to the court house if his wedding jitters became too much. Amy had moved most of her belongings over the weekend, but stayed in her apartment at night. This evening would be her first night as a tenant of 4A. So, it had been Leonard's assignment to get Sheldon where he needed to be. Fortunately, Sheldon had resigned himself to his fate.

Leonard tapped a fork against the mixing bowl currently serving as the punch bowl. "Could I have your attention please?" Conversations stopped and everyone turned their attention to him. Feeling perspiration starting to gather under his arms, Leonard tugged on the the collar of his dress shirt and gave a little cough. "I'd like to propose a toast to the happy couple." Sheldon squirmed and Amy beamed. "As you all know, Sheldon and Amy have joined together, and today they begin the first day of their new journey together." Taking a sip of punch to relieve his parched throat, he continued. "While the circumstances may not have been ideal, I'm sure they'll make the best of it." Penny was glaring at him and he sensed the words he'd chosen weren't the most politic.

"Come on, Leonard, let's wrap this up," Sheldon admonished sharply.

"So!" he said brightly, "Here's to Sheldon and Amy. May they live long and prosper!" He raised his cup along with the others. "Cheers!"

"Cheers!" they echoed, each taking a drink. Amy nodded to their friends, and Leonard was taken aback when Sheldon spoke up.

"I would like to propose my own toast." Wondering if he was going to have to rescue Sheldon from some social faux pas, Leonard waited for his friend to speak. "Although this after-nuptial gathering is an expected part of the 'wedding ceremony,'" he said, crooking his fingers into quote marks, "I want to thank each of you for your participation. Unlike vintage video night, your presence was not required. I think I speak for Amy as well as myself when I say we appreciate your efforts on our behalf."

It wasn't often Leonard felt pride at being Sheldon's friend, but there were moments, and this had been one of them. That is until he opened his mouth and added,

"So, lets eat up those cupcakes and get this thing over with."

xxxxxxx

Bernadette wandered over to Amy, embracing her, wide smile evident. "So, Amy, that was some kiss Sheldon laid on you at the court house!"

Amy colored, looking every bit the blushing bride. "I have to admit, I was rather surprised myself! Sadly, I fear it will be the last time these lips will touch those of my luscious husband." Bernadette felt her smile slipping. "Luscious" was the last word she would ever associate with Sheldon Cooper. Still, it was obvious Amy was smitten with her new life-partner, and Bernie couldn't be happier for her. Now if the douche bag would just grow up, life would be sweeter for all of them.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Amy. Look how far you've come in. . . ."

"Three years," Amy supplied.

"Has it really been that long? It doesn't seem like it to me."

"You should try it from my end. At this rate we will have coitus for the second time when this baby graduates from high school."

Bernadette's smile turned to a grimace. How did she respond to that? "Being married will change things," she said, hoping she wasn't misleading her friend. "Howie and I grew much closer after we were married. Of course that was after he returned from space."

"I admit there are many times I wish I could send Sheldon into orbit. Usually without the benefit of a space suit."

Bernadette blinked at Amy, again at a loss for words. "But you _are_ happy you married him, right?"

Walking over to the sofa, Amy took a seat, patting the spot next to her, inviting Bernadette to join her. "I'm still not sure," she whispered. "While it was my eventual goal to get Sheldon to propose, I hadn't planned on 'trapping' him."

"Trapping him? Amy you were trapped as much as he was. Maybe even more so because you have to carry the baby!"

Amy snorted. "Try telling him that. To listen to him, I had this planned from the start. Interesting since he was the one to initiate our one and only night of passion."

Coughing, Bernadette hoped Amy wouldn't feel obligated to give her the gory details. Unbeknownst to Amy, Penny had passed along _way_ more than she'd wanted to know about the Shamy.

"Well, I wouldn't give up hope just yet. Who knows? Maybe if Sheldon sees you wandering around in some sexy underwear it might give him some ideas," she said, leaning over to nudge Amy in the shoulder.

"Unfortunately, that will not be happening. In the recently drafted Marriage Agreement, it clearly states proper attire will be required of both parties at all times while occupying the apartment. The only exception would be to bathe."

"And you signed that?"

"I wasn't given much of a choice. I did draw the line, however, at when it came to being in my bedroom. I declared it a sovereign state and any external dictates would be null and void within its confines."

Bernie grinned. "You could use that to your advantage, you know." Turning to face her, Amy looked confused.

"How so?"

"Well, if you lured Sheldon into your bedroom, all bets would be off. None of his silly rules would apply." Amy's gaze drifted from Bernadette's as she considered the possibilities.

"Interesting," she said. "I'll keep that in mind. Thank you, Bernadette."

"No problem. Now, are you keeping your name or are you going to hyphenate it?"

"I have given some thought to the pros and cons of several options. While Amy Cooper would be the easiest, I have made a name for myself in the world of neurobiology and I don't wish to lose that status. Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper is even more cumbersome than your married name." Bernadette tried not to take offense at Amy's comment, but it was taking all her willpower. Amy might think she had more tact than Sheldon, but she wasn't far removed from his unthinking observations.

"Therefore," Amy continued, "I've decided on Amy Fowler-Cooper, dropping the 'Farrah.' I know it will distress my mother seeing as I was named for her favorite actress, but a compromise had to be made. She should just be grateful she's getting a son-in-law. I have further decided to take Sheldon's last name as a means of compensation."

"A means of compensation?"

"As you know, marriage to Sheldon at this point in my life was not my first choice. A declaration of some form of affection was my final offer. Since it was not forthcoming, I decided to take his name and the associated benefits that came with it."

Bernadette was confused. "What benefit will you gain by being Mrs. Sheldon Cooper?"

"In the first place, I'm not 'Mrs.' anyone. It's an antiquated practice that belittles women. Second, the name 'Cooper' carries a degree of weight in certain scientific circles, thus adding to the status I've gained in my own right."

Clapping her jaw shut, Bernadette hadn't even realized her mouth had dropped open. Or that her question had struck such a nerve.

"I'm sorry, Amy. I didn't mean to upset you. I agree with your reasoning, it's why I kept the 'Rostenkowski.'

"Nor did I mean to 'get into your face,' as they say. Giving up one's identity with the words 'I do' has always been a sore spot with me."

Bernadette simply nodded. "So, are you going somewhere for a honeymoon?"

"Unfortunately, no. I have taken the rest of the week off from work, mostly to create the illusion among my colleagues that Sheldon and I are writhing in marital bliss on some Caribbean island."

Bernadette's heart ached for her. "Amy, that's so sad! I think you should get one of those last minute get-away packages and whisk Sheldon off to some romantic destination."

Amy's gaze followed the path of her hands as she smoothed her dress. "I had considered it," she said, then looked up at Bernadette. "But the thought of listening to Sheldon's bitching about humidity, bugs and inconvenience convinced me I was better off not to try. Perhaps we should start a new tradition where the bride and bride's maids take the post-wedding trip. I'm sure I'd have much more fun with you and Penny."

The scary part, Bernadette knew, was Amy was serious. If their sleepovers at Penny's were anything to go by, Amy would be offering herself to either or both women. She suppressed a shudder.

"You know, I should go see what Howie is up to," Bernie said, standing. Her conversation with Amy was getting stranger by the second and she was afraid she'd say something she'd regret. "Maybe you should go see where Sheldon's wandered off to."

xxxxxx

Howard ladled the dregs of the punch into his cup, as Rajesh joined him, looking disappointed when he saw the beverage was gone.

"Dude! Don't take it all!"

"I didn't take it all. I'm taking the last of it."

Raj was pouting. "I hardly had any!"

Howard was about to take a drink, then relented. "Fine," he sighed, pouring half his cup into Raj's. "It's not like there's any alcohol in it to deaden the pain."

"What pain? I think it's been a lovely party!"

Attempting to smile, Howard tried to reassure his friend. "You're right. It has been nice. Up until the time Sheldon arrived."

"But you came with him." Raj started to giggle. "You came with Sheldon, dude!"

Howard joined in. "Probably more than Amy did!"

Suddenly, Raj's mirth evaporated. "That's not very considerate. I like Amy and I think making fun of her on her wedding day is in bad taste."

Howard wasn't sure what to say to that. Raj was right, of course, but much of their friendship was based on mocking those around them. This suddenly mature Raj was an enigma. Before he could respond, Raj added,

"I feel sorry for her."

"Who, Amy? She's got who she wanted. Only God knows _why_ she wants him."

Raj was staring across the room, watching Amy and Bernadette. "She seems happy, I suppose, but Sheldon doesn't treat her with the love and respect she deserves."

Howard stared at Raj in disbelief. "Wait. Are you saying you have a thing for _Amy_?" _What was it about everyone's girlfriends that Raj seemed to fall for them? He'd slept with Penny, would have slept with Bernadette, and now he was mooning over Sheldon's new wife?_

"Don't you think pregnancy has made her more attractive? She really _does_ have a glow, don't you think?"

Howard was at a loss. He opened his mouth several times, only to close it again when no words came out. Swallowing he finally managed, "You can't be serious! You're scamming on Sheldon's sloppy seconds?"

Angrily, Raj turned back to Howard. "Dude, don't talk about her that way! She's a lady and is dealing with the circumstances as best she can. And I don't have a thing for her. I just think she deserves someone who'll pay attention to her, and I don't think that's Sheldon."

"So you're saying if the spot was open you'd go for it?"

Raj finished off the last of the punch Howard had given him. "Maybe," he shrugged. He looked up then and said, "I think I'd make a good father."

"You'd make a great father," Howard confirmed. "Is that what this is all about? That you want the baby?"

Raj didn't answer him directly. "I keep thinking about taking the baby to the park, playing catch, introducing the baby to the stars," he said with longing.

"You can do all that as an uncle, plus you don't have to do all that messy diaper changing."

"But that's part of it," Raj sighed.

"What you want is to be a nanny," Howard quipped. It wasn't a compliment, but Raj took it that way.

"Yes! Do you think Sheldon and Amy would take me on as their nanny?" Once again Howard was mimicking a fish, desperate to change the subject.

"So, nice job on the decorations!"


	12. Chapter 12

**_12_**

Sheldon shut the door behind the last of his friends with an exhalation of relief. _Thank God this day is almost over_, he thought, only to turn around to see Amy standing expectantly in the middle of what was now her living room. He wasn't sure he could deal with one more thing. He'd managed to escape to his room for about a half an hour as his friends conversed, but it wasn't long before Amy had been knocking on his door, making him rejoin the gathering. If this was the kind of nagging she was going to be doing, maybe he should try convincing her to hang onto her apartment.

Actually, he wondered why he _hadn't_ insisted on keeping living arrangements being as they'd been. Just because he and Amy were married didn't mean they had to live together. After all, their joining was just for the sake of propriety. His mother and Meemaw were in Texas. They'd never know if he and Amy co-habitated or not.

Still, there was the issue of him keeping an eye on her. He'd heard tales of debilitating nausea associated with pregnancy. What if she was incapable of caring for herself and their future Homo Novus? He couldn't risk Amy's health simply because he didn't want to live with her. Taking care of each other was in the Marriage Agreement as it had been in the Relationship Agreement. Amy being in the same apartment would be easier than trying to make his way to hers. _Damn the logic! _He'd put his foot down about cutesy answering machine messages, though.

"It was a nice party," Amy ventured. She stood with her palms on her thighs, rocking slightly. He noticed the movement, but had no clue what it meant. The yellow dress clung to her bosom and torso, filling out into a fuller skirt that fell below her knees. It revealed more skin than he was used to seeing Amy display, and he felt his palms growing damp just looking at her. He knew what her skin was like. How soft she was. He'd tried so hard to forget what she'd felt like under his hands, but his memory wouldn't let him forget. It haunted him.

"Maybe you should change out of your dress," he said, walking quickly past her towards the kitchen.

Amy's voice was even lower than normal. "What would you like me to change into?"

Fiddling with the tea box, Sheldon looked up in surprise. "Why your normal clothes, of course. That dress doesn't look very comfortable."

Amy looked down at her outfit. "No, it's actually quite comfortable. I might take my hair down, though." She reached up, removing the tiara, then the pins, shaking her hair out until it cascaded over her bare shoulders. _Good grief,_ Sheldon thought. _All she needs is a slow-motion camera and she could star in some tawdry afternoon romance on _Lifetime.

Amy stood there, as if she expected him to do something, but he didn't know what that was. Turning his attention back to his tea, Sheldon didn't notice her leave the room until he heard the sound of what used to be Leonard's door shutting. She hadn't slammed it, but her sudden disappearance gave him the impression she was dissatisfied. He didn't know why. He'd done everything she'd asked of him and then some. Kissing her! In public! Sheldon shook his head. _The things I won't do for that woman._

Sheldon continued to fuss with his tea. _If Leonard was here he would have made my tea_, he thought sullenly. But Leonard wasn't there. He lived across the hall. And Amy now lived in his friend's room. He wasn't happy, and he gathered Amy wasn't either.

This had been a mistake. It had all been a mistake. Maybe they could get the marriage annulled. After all, he didn't see them consummating their union. Although, wouldn't her pregnancy be proof of their conjugal congress? If a couple had pre-marital sex did it count towards a true marriage if they didn't have sex _after_ the ceremony? He'd have to look into that.

Sheldon dunked his teabag three times in the mug before draping the tag over the right side of the handle. Staring at the darkening liquid, he was still plagued by feelings of inadequacy. He should be trying to make Amy feel welcome, and he hadn't done a very good job of that. His mother would be horrified at his lack of manners. Perhaps he should offer her a hot beverage as well.

He didn't want to talk to her. Somehow she'd make him feel bad because he hadn't done something she expected of him. Lately it seemed she always had expectations that weren't being met. Still, the thought of Amy being unhappy niggled at him and he wouldn't be able to relax until he knew she was okay. Sighing, Sheldon put down his mug and approached her door.

Tapping lightly, he hoped she'd gone to sleep, but after the third time he'd called her name, she bid him to enter. Opening the door, Sheldon peeked around, spying Amy lying on her back on top of her bed, hands folded across her stomach. She sat up, propping herself with her elbows behind her. She was still in her yellow dress and the sight of her bare shoulders and satin-clad bosom were wreaking havoc with his thought processes again. He just stared at her, wondering what it was he'd been about to ask her.

"Yes, Sheldon?" she questioned, staring back at him. He couldn't form a coherent thought. Why hadn't she put her normal clothes on? Why couldn't she cover herself up so he could think? Amy sat up, swinging her legs around so her feet were now on the floor. "Sit down," she commanded. "You look like you're about to faint."

Now that she mentioned it, he did feel rather light-headed. Besides the hors d'oeuvres Raj had served, he hadn't eaten much, and his blood sugar was likely low. Surely that was the problem and not Amy enticing him in that dress. Taking a seat on the bed as far from her as he could, Sheldon turned to face her.

"I was wondering if you'd care for a hot beverage. I realized I should have offered you one when I started making my tea, but you'd already come in here."

Amy colored slightly. "I needed a few minutes to gather my thoughts," she said, looking down at her hands resting on her thighs. It was then he noticed there were tear tracks at the corners of her eyes. As if she'd been crying while lying on her bed and gravity had pulled the liquid towards her ears. It had been a long time since he'd cried like that, but he remembered the feeling and it made his stomach hurt thinking Amy had been that upset. She stood then, moving around the room to the stack of boxes. She opened the top one, pulling books out and placing them haphazardly on an empty shelf.

"I should get these unpacked. The mess is driving me crazy."

Sheldon stood and took the stack of books from her hands. "And you not taking the time to organize them is driving me crazy."

"It's my room," she said defensively. "I can be as disorganized as I want."

"You don't have to put them all in here," he said. "There's space in the living room where Leonard's books used to be." He hadn't wanted the words to sound resentful, but from the way Amy flinched, he knew he hadn't succeeded. "But if you put them out there you'll have to put them in some kind of logical order."

"Fair enough." She looked at the books she held, then placed them back in the box. "I think I'll put them in the living room, but if I'm going to start unpacking, I should put on something I can get dirty." Amy looked expectedly at Sheldon as he stood there. Suddenly he realized she was waiting for him to leave, as visions of her naked body flashed through his mind.

"Oh!" he cried when it dawned on him he was staring. "Would you like a beverage?"

Amy smiled indulgently at him. "Some tea would be great," she said.

xxxxxx

Amy shook her head as Sheldon closed the door behind him. She hadn't planned on starting to unpack, but seeing as nothing else was likely to happen on her wedding night, she might as well. She'd indulged herself in a good cry, and felt better for it. Sheldon would never understand why she'd been so disappointed, and she could either get over it and try to move on, or wallow in her misery. This wasn't the first time he'd not gotten why she was upset and it wouldn't be the last. For better or worse.

Slipping the dress over her head, the light caught the new ring on her left hand. It was a plain titanium band which she approved of. She'd have to ask him how he picked it out, because often Sheldon was drawn to flashy, extravagant pieces, like his pocket watch.

Dressed in a skirt and blouse, sans cardigan, Amy joined Sheldon in the kitchen. He was tossing out his tea as she took a seat at the island. "What's wrong with your tea?"

Sheldon waved a dismissive hand. "It sat too long and was cold."

Puzzled, Amy asked, "Why didn't you just microwave it?"

"Amy! I'm surprised at you! You know it's not the same!" Personally, Amy didn't see the difference, but clearly he did. It was probably going to be one of those quirks she'd either tolerate or find adorable. At the moment she was leaning towards tolerate. Sheldon pulled a mug down for her and put a new tea bag in his cup, handing her the box for her to select her own flavor. As they waited for the water to heat, neither spoke and Amy wondered if it was always going to be this awkward. It had been the last time she'd tried living with him, but seeing as that had lasted all of two days, she couldn't base future events on that experience.

"We haven't discussed finances," she offered as a conversation topic, realizing they hadn't really talked about anything most couples covered in the dating/engagement process.

Sheldon blinked at her. "I assumed we would continue as Leonard and I had."

"And that was?"

"We divided everything by half. He had half of the refrigerator and cupboards. We'd total up rent, utilities and other household expenses and at the end of each month I presented him with a detailed invoice which he was given thirty days to pay."

Amy sat staring at him with her mouth hanging open. "Sheldon, we're married now, this isn't a business arrangement!"

"You don't have to remind me," he said, turning to the stove to retrieve the kettle.

"Well I'm not going to have you handing me an invoice each month with thirty day credit options!"

Sheldon poured water into each of their cups, his face set in an angry scowl. "Then what do you think is an equitable option?" Amy thought for a moment. She'd never had a roommate, even in college. Not for lack of trying, however. Apparently her reputation as being "odd" had preceded her, and any ads she'd placed looking for someone to share her apartments had gone unanswered.

"How about this," Amy suggested. "We each put a designated amount into a joint account which will be used for common household expenses. This would include rent, utilities, gas and maintenance for the car. . ."

"Wait a second! It's not _my_ car!"

Amy gave him a hard stare. "And who do I end up driving around? I wouldn't spend so much on gas if I wasn't chauffeuring you to every train store in the greater Pasadena area!"

"Oh, so now it comes out. Nag, nag, nag. You never said anything about gas when we were dating. Now since we're married you're going to extort money for transportation from me?" Sheldon took his tea and left the kitchen, settling in his place on the sofa, reaching for the remote. "I never had to pay Leonard to drive me."

Amy stalked over to him, snatching the television controller and turned it off. "Well you should have! And if he continues to take you to work, you'll give him gas money. Out of your own funds!"

Looking up at her in disbelief, Sheldon gasped. "You can't be serious! You don't seem to realize it's a _privilege _to accompany me to my destination."

"A _privilege?_ For us to take time out of _our_ days to make sure you get where you're going?"

"Why, yes! It's always a benefit to be gifted with my wit and wisdom on the journey. Even Penny realizes that!"

Amy's hands were clenched into fists as she stood before him. How had they ended up arguing about driving when all she wanted to do was develop a reasonable budget? Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she ignored his last statement.

"Sheldon, this is getting us nowhere. All I wanted to do was find a way to make upkeep on the apartment equitable without having to be handed a bill at the end of the month!"

Sheldon glanced up at her then looked away, crossing his arms over his chest. "Fine," he said tersely. "What do you suggest?"

Picking up her tea, Amy joined him on the sofa. She took a sip, then faced him. "As I was saying, I think we should establish a joint account in which we put an equal amount of money. We'll pay common expenses from it," here she held up a hand to stop any forthcoming argument, "To be determined later, and things of a personal nature will continue to be paid for independently."

Sheldon seemed to be considering her proposal. "It sounds reasonable," he said, loosening his arms. "But we need to discuss this ridiculous notion you have about the car!"

"Fine," she huffed, too wrung out from the events of the day to continue quarreling. Amy turned to sit facing forward, taking another drink from her tea. She could feel Sheldon's gaze on her. Turning her head, she looked over at him. "What?"

"Amy," he said, no longer looking as intractable as he had moments ago. "I don't like it when we fight."

"That wasn't really a fight, Sheldon. We had a disagreement. I'm sure we'll have more."

"It felt like a fight," he said, quietly. His arms had moved down to encircle his abdomen. "It makes my stomach hurt. Like when I was a child and my parents argued. Most of the time it was about me," he added. Suddenly, Amy wanted nothing more than to pull him into her arms. She knew the feeling all too well. Her own parents had argued enough over how to raise her, and she felt the same clench in her stomach Sheldon was no doubt experiencing.

"Sheldon? Would it be okay if I gave you a consoling hug?"

He hesitated, then agreed. "All right. But not too tight!"

Amy set her tea down on the coffee table, not sure how she should go about putting her arms around him. It was so rare he allowed her to touch him that the movement was jerky and awkward. Finally, her arms settled around his shoulders and she pulled him closer. His head rested lightly on her shoulder for less time than she would have liked before he pulled away.

"I'm better now. Thank you." Releasing him, Amy cleared her throat and reached for her tea. Taking a drink as a means of distraction, she found she couldn't look at him. The moment had been more intimate than she'd expected and she was nervous. Where would they go from here? Would he say something crass in light of his own discomfort?

What he did say wasn't what she was expecting.

"We need to call my mother."

"What? Right now?" Glancing at the clock she noted it was four o'clock, which would make it late prevening in Texas. It wasn't too late for a phone call, but she thought they'd talk about what they were going to say to their respective parents before jumping into it.

Sheldon's head was hung in dejection. "I don't want to, but the longer we put it off the harder it's going to be. I thought perhaps the post-wedding euphoria would make it easier."

Amy simply stared at him. This_ was post-wedding euphoria? What constituted unease? _"Your mother is not the only one who's going to be upset we snuck off and got married. You don't have to tell yours you're pregnant."

His head snapped up. "But I have to tell her I was the one who got you pregnant!"

Taking a deep breath, Amy tried to wrap her head around the convoluted conversation they'd been having. In a span of minutes they'd fought about money, fighting in general, and telling their mothers they'd essentially eloped. Was his mind always this mercurial and she'd just never noticed?

"Sheldon, we're not going to argue over which parent is going to be more embarrassed by our behavior. Suffice it to say, neither one is going to be particularly proud of us." As if on cue, both took a drink from their mugs at the same time. "I believe we should alert both our mothers of our marriage, but for the moment, not mention the baby. Perhaps in a week we can let them know, thus giving them time to come to grips as it were, with our lightening-fast nuptials."

"I don't know," he said. "I think it's better if my mother gets all the bad news at once."

"I disagree. Upon further reflection, maybe we could 'fudge' the date of conception. When the baby is born, we claim it's premature. No need to cause either of our mothers needless anxiety."

"My mother won't be fooled," Sheldon sighed. "She might not have my intellect, but when it comes to social matters, the woman is a savant. She won't be taken in by a falsehood."

Sitting up straighter, Amy smoothed her hands down over her skirt. "Very well. We'll simply not mention it to either of them. I don't see my mother often, and yours is in Texas, so we may come up with a solution before July. We're both highly intelligent, we should be able to come up with a plausible explanation. Failing that, I'm sure Penny could be of assistance."

"Penny? How could she help?"

Amy reached for her tea, taking a drink. "As you have pointed out, Penny has many tales of former acquaintances being in situations such as ours. An unplanned pregnancy," she pointed out when Sheldon still looked confused. Suddenly he brightened.

"Oh! You mean they've had to confess to pre-marital coitus to their parents! Amy, that's brilliant! Surely one of their experiences would match ours!"

Amy tried to take comfort in Sheldon's praise of her idea, but doubted any of Penny's friends had had an experience similar to her and Sheldon's. Most stories she'd ever heard of unplanned coitus didn't end up with the man fleeing in terror to the bathroom for a decontamination shower.

Checking his watch, Sheldon pulled his cell phone from his pocket. "It's not too late to call. Let's get this over with."

Amy watched him touch a few icons on his phone, feeling her nerves ratcheting up. She was surprised Sheldon hadn't had to be coerced into calling his mother. Usually he had to be badgered endlessly to perform an unsavory task. Could it be he really didn't regret marrying her?

"Hello, Mom." There was a pause. "Yes, of course it's me." Another break. "No, nothing is wrong. Does there have to be something wrong for me to call you?" Sheldon looked over at Amy, rolling his eyes. "Yes, I know I don't usually call unless something is wrong, but there isn't this time. Actually, I have some news which I think you'll find positive."

Sheldon was on his feet, pacing the living room. Amy watched him make a precise circuit, and felt her stomach tighten further. If he was this uncomfortable speaking to his own mother, how was she going to accomplish it? Surely Mary Cooper was going to have questions for her, as her new daughter-in-law. That thought caused even more agitation to her stomach. The last time she'd seen Sheldon's mother, she made it clear she didn't approve of Amy, and their relationship was in defiance of her wishes. How was she going talk to the woman?

"Amy and I were married today." Sheldon held the phone away from his ear and Amy could hear exclamations of some sort, but she couldn't make out the words. Nor could she tell if the noises indicated happiness or anger.

"Yes, I know this was sudden. No, we couldn't wait for you to come. We decided we wanted something small, so we went to City Hall." More loud exclamations. "You're the one who keeps telling me Jesus is everywhere, so I'm sure He was at the courthouse. No, Ma'am, I'm not sassing you." Sheldon looked over at Amy with an expression of helplessness, then he suddenly turned his back on her, lowering his voice.

"Of course I. . ." he gulped, "Love her." He looked over his shoulder at Amy, his face beet red. She tried not to be hurt when he so obviously had to force the words out. After all, he'd never told her he loved her. He was placating his mother and he shouldn't be held accountable for what he said to accomplish that.

"No, we're living here. In my apartment." More time for another question from his mother. "He's living across the hall. Yes, with Penny." Sheldon shuffled his feet. "Yes, I know you don't approve, but that's the decision they've made." There was quite a long pause, then Sheldon spoke again. "Mom, can't you just be happy for me?" Amy felt her heart break. It was apparent Sheldon needed his mother's approval and support, and when it wasn't forthcoming, Amy felt her protective nature asserting itself, causing her to stand and hold out her hand for the phone.

"Amy wants to talk to you."

Inhaling, Amy tried to calm herself as she took the device. It wasn't nerves she needed to overcome, but anger at how dejected Sheldon looked. Mary might be his mother, but she couldn't see how upset her son was at her less-than-enthusiastic response.

"Hello, Mrs. Cooper."

_"Amy. So, Shelly tells me congratulations are in order." _She didn't sound very sincere.

"Thank you! Yes, we're very excited!" Amy looked over at Sheldon who'd retaken his seat on the sofa. He was curled in on himself, and didn't look even remotely excited.

_"I have to wonder at how quickly this happened. Last I heard the two of you were dating twice monthly."_

"Yes, we were. But then one night we were discussing the future, our future, and suddenly it made sense for us to get married." It wasn't a lie, per se, but there was a great portion of their conversation she chose not to reveal to her new mother-in-law. "You know what a spontaneous romantic Sheldon can be!" Amy couldn't believe the words had slipped from her mouth. In her turmoil they seemed to spew forth on their own. Even Sheldon was shaken from his state of apathy to stare at her in disbelief. Amy danced around the room trying to think of something to say to salvage the conversation, but it was if her brain had frozen. _It's Arman the miniature horse breeder all over again!_

_"Why, yes. I'm well aware how 'spontaneous' Shelly can be,"_ she said dryly.

"We've been dating for three years," Amy added hopefully.

_"Which if you have that kind of patience, I wonder why you couldn't wait long enough for me and Sheldon's Meemaw to come see you wed."_

"Mrs. Cooper. . ."

"_Call me_ '_Mary_.'"

"Mary," Amy said, swallowing. "Please don't blame Sheldon for this. I'm the one who insisted on getting married so quickly." Again, it wasn't an out-and-out lie, but she was willing to stretch the truth to protect Sheldon. He was sitting up straighter on the sofa, staring at her. "I didn't want a lot of fuss. We just wanted to get married."

There was a long stretch of silence, and Amy thought perhaps they'd been cut off. "Mary?"

She sighed, as if in resignation. _"Well, I suppose there's nothing that can be done now. That ship has sailed. No use dwelling on it."_ Amy wasn't sure if Mary was trying to convince herself, or if it was a stab at making her feel guilty.

_"Let me talk to Shelly again. And Amy? Welcome to the family."_ This time Mary did sound more sincere, and Amy felt some of the tension leave her body.

"Thank you," she said. "Here's Sheldon." She held out the phone to him but he was shaking his head. Whispering, Amy insisted, "You have to talk to her! She's not going to yell at you!"

Reluctantly, he took the phone. "Hello, mother. Yes, we'll come for a visit sometime. I'm not sure when. Amy and I are both very busy at work." He looked over at her, and Amy thought he looked a little calmer. "No, it's okay. You can tell Meemaw. I'll talk to her tomorrow, but you can tell her. I know she's going to be as disappointed as you," he sighed. "Yes. Yes. I love you, too. Good-bye."

Amy watched as he ended the call. He was capable of saying the words "I love you," to his mother, so it wasn't completely out of the realm of possibility he'd say them to her some day, right? Sheldon stuffed the phone back in his pant's pocket and was looking at her, puzzled.

"Amy, why did you tell my mother you wanted a small wedding? And that you were the one who wanted to get married as soon as possible? Those are both untruths, and I find it disturbing you could say that to my mother."

Amy wasn't sure how to answer him. She hadn't wanted to lie to Mary, but neither did she want Sheldon to be the recipient of his parent's ire. "You were being blamed for trying to do the right thing, and I wasn't going to allow that to happen."

Sheldon was still looking up at her, his confusion unabated. "But she doesn't know the whole truth, so she can't be blamed for how she reacted."

Taking a seat next to him once more, Amy turned to face him. "I didn't want your mother to be upset with you because she thought you hadn't considered her or your Meemaw when you got married. I thought if she believed I was the one pushing for a quick wedding it would take some of the pressure off you."

Sheldon stared off into the living room. After a moment he looked back at her. "That was considerate of you, but I don't want my mother thinking badly of you either." He sighed and let his gaze drift again. "I guess there were a lot of things I hadn't taken into account when I rushed into this marriage."

Amy watched him, and saw how unhappy he was. Maybe she should have put up a stronger fight when he suggested they get married. She knew at the time it was the last thing he wanted, but she was scared. The thought of raising a child alone—despite the offers of assistance from her friends—had truly overwhelmed her. Even with Sheldon's help it was still terrifying. Maybe she'd been right the first time when she thought of him as more of a liability than a helpmate.

"Sheldon, we'll get through this. You've told your mother we're married. The rest of the news may be a shock to her, but once she gets used to the idea of being a grandmother, she'll come around."

"You think that's going to be the case with your mother?"

Letting go of a breath, Amy met his gaze. "I hope so."

Sheldon fiddled with his empty mug. "Do you want to call her now? I'll be your back-up like you were for me."

Amy smiled at Sheldon's offer. It was generous for him and she found it incredibly sweet. "Let's see how she reacts to the news before we start making claims of undying love. I honestly don't know how she's going to take it."

"Very well," he said, nodding in her direction. "Make the call."

In the end it wasn't as bad as either of them had anticipated. Anita Fowler was disappointed, but claimed she was used to Amy's odd propensities. She spoke with Sheldon long enough to offer congratulations and ask for an address to send them a wedding gift, something she claimed every household needed: A George Forman grill.


	13. Chapter 13

**_13_**

Sheldon woke to the sound of vomiting. Feeling his own gorge rising, it took him a moment to remember it wasn't Leonard expelling the remnants of a late night with Penny. He took several deep breaths, hoping the bile he was tasting in the back of his throat would subside so he could face Amy. No doubt she would appreciate his help, and he was honor-bound to offer it.

Sliding on his slippers and robe, Sheldon made his way to the bathroom only to be assailed with the sound of even more violent retching. He inhaled and exhaled three times, steeling himself before knocking three times.

"Just come in!" Amy yelled, before she started heaving again. She was sitting on the floor, head hanging over the bowl of the toilet, with her right hand twisted in her hair to hold it back. She looked up at him and he was shocked. Her eyes were red rimmed and her complexion so pale, he understood the meaning of the phrase "death warmed over."

"Amy! Are you all right?"

Amy was sucking in great lungfuls of air. "Do I look all right?" she snapped.

"You most certainly do not! Your eyes are bloodshot, your face is gray; you look like a zombie!"

"Thanks, Sheldon, you always say the sweetest things," she muttered. He pondered her response, then it dawned on him she might not be serious.

"Sarcasm?"

"Ya think?" She started to vomit again, causing Sheldon to feel completely helpless. He should offer Amy some comfort, but he was at a loss how to accomplish that. It took a couple of tries, but finally he managed to lay a hand on her back, patting gently.

"There, there," he said, as his gaze travelled around the bathroom, looking anywhere but in the direction of Amy or the toilet. The muscles of her back relaxed some, but Sheldon didn't remove his hand. She felt cold beneath the flannel of her nightgown, and he found his hand had been unconsciously making circular motions in an effort to soothe her. He started to pull his hand away when it occurred to him he'd managed to care for her before when she had the flu. She didn't even have anything potentially contagious this time. He could do this.

"I'll be right back," he said, giving her back one more reassuring pat. There was an old quilt on the top shelf of his closet he could wrap around her as she sat on the cold tile. Gathering the comforter, Sheldon raced back to the bathroom, wrapping the blanket around Amy's shoulders.

"Thank you, Sheldon," she gasped. Her voice sounded weak, and he wished there was something else he could do to make her feel better. "Could you get me a cup of water please?"

Grateful to have a task, Sheldon quickly filled a Dixie cup, then handed it to her. "Don't drink it too fast," he warned.

"I'm not going to drink it. I don't think anything will stay down at the moment. I just want to rinse my mouth out." She did that, continuing to take deep, steadying breaths. "I think I might be done," she said. "You don't have to stay here."

Sheldon took a seat on the edge of the tub. "It's all right. I want to make sure you're going to be okay." He fidgeted for a bit, then said, "Did you know so-called morning sickness, also known as nausea gravidarum, can happen at any time of the day? And that it's thought that the reason for it is your body is protecting itself from toxins that may be harmful to the developing child? Apparently your immune system is lowered so as not to reject the fetus and. . ."

Pulling the quilt tighter around her, Amy lay her head against the toilet, eyes closed. "Thank you, Sheldon, you can go. I'll be fine. Eventually," she added. "It's not like this is the first time this has happened."

"It isn't? Amy, why didn't you tell me?"

She opened her eyes, giving him a malevolent stare. "Our communication was down to texting. Did you want me to send, 'not now, I'm vomiting?'"

Sheldon hated to be found lacking. Obviously he'd been too wrapped up in his own misery to consider hers, and it was a bit of an eye-opener to realize how much she'd done to spare him. "You should have made me aware of your physical distress."

"Whatever, Sheldon," she sighed, closing her eyes once more. He didn't care for her dismissal, but on some level he knew she was justified.

"Well, I guess I'm just going to have to make sure to take care of you from now on," he said, brusquely. "Now, brush your teeth and come lie down on the sofa while I make you some tea," he ordered.

Amy smiled weakly. "You should probably include a bowl next to the couch if you want me to move."

"Very well." Sheldon leaned over to help her stand, guiding her to the sink. "Are you okay, or do you want me to make sure you stay upright?"

Amy grasped the side of the sink. "I'll be all right." The quilt slipped from her shoulders and Sheldon started to pick it up. "Just leave it," she said. "I'll get it in a minute." Nodding, Sheldon left her to clean up.

Concentrating on making tea and getting his own breakfast, Sheldon realized he was actually glad Amy was here. Upon hearing she'd been experiencing morning sickness, he'd felt stirrings of guilt at his lack of attention to his girlfriend. Surely she could have invoked the clause from the Relationship Agreement about caring for each other had she wanted, but she'd chosen not to. Maybe, because at the time, she was still mad at him.

Sheldon heard the sound of the bathroom door and looked up to see Amy making her way over to the sofa. She'd wrapped the comforter around herself once more and was taking small steps so as not to trip. Grabbing the bowl he often placed next to Leonard when he'd imbibed too much, Sheldon placed it on the floor near the couch, then helped her to sit down. It was probably the most he'd ever touched her, he realized. Fortunately, it was mostly through his quilt.

"I'm making you some peppermint tea," he informed her. "It'll help calm your stomach and take away some of that nasty taste in your mouth." He pulled the sofa pillow over, gently pushing her to lie down.

Amy closed her eyes with a sigh. "Thank you, Sheldon." He fussed with the blanket for a moment, tucking her in. He wasn't sure, but he thought she'd drifted off to sleep already. Now he was torn. Did he finish her tea and make her wake up to drink it, or did he let her sleep? He looked back at the kitchen, then back at Amy. The kettle was starting to whistle and he moved to take it from the heat. He looked back at Amy, then the kettle in his hand, then Amy. What was he supposed to do?

Finally, he poured water into his own mug, and opted to let Amy sleep. It wouldn't take long to re-heat the water. Choosing his cereal from the high-fiber end of the spectrum, Sheldon fixed a bowl and sat at the kitchen island facing the living room so he could watch for signs of Amy waking. As he dug into his bran flakes, he contemplated calling in to the University. His schedule was already hopelessly off course, and he didn't like the thought of leaving Amy when she didn't feel well. He knew she'd taken time off from work to perpetuate the idea they'd taken a traditional honeymoon. _What a ridiculous notion!_ He thought, laughing to himself and shaking his head.

Still, it would be a viable excuse should he decide to take the day off. Once word of his impulsive marriage reached Kripke, the man would be assuming he was giving Amy's sex organs a proper jostling. It might cause _more_ questions if he showed up for work than if he didn't. With that thought in mind, Sheldon called in, taking a personal day. He'd decide later if he was going to take more vacation.

xxxxxx

It was late when Amy woke up; she could tell by the light slanting through the apartment's windows. Sitting up, pushing the quilt off, she blinked as she looked around Sheldon's living room. For a moment she was disoriented, unsure what she was doing on his couch in her nightgown. Right. She lived here now. She'd gotten sick again this morning and Sheldon had cared for her. She smiled slightly, remembering how for the most part, he'd been comforting. The whole diatribe about the causes of morning sickness could have been avoided, though. . . .

The living room and kitchen were empty, and Amy assumed Sheldon had gone to work. Funny, she hadn't heard Leonard come for him, or Sheldon leave for that matter. She must have really been tired to sleep through all that. Folding the quilt Sheldon had given her, Amy dropped it back onto the sofa, unsure where it was normally stored. Knowing Sheldon, however, she was sure it was going to have to be thoroughly laundered before it could be replaced.

She remembered something about him mentioning tea, but seeing no mug on the coffee table, she decided he hadn't made it. No doubt she'd fallen asleep before it was finished. Crossing to the kitchen, she spotted the yellow mug with a tea bag resting in it; her assumption had been correct. Amy placed the kettle on the stove and realized her nausea had receded, leaving her ravenous. She was standing on tip-toe trying to see what cereal Sheldon had when she heard a voice behind her.

"Oh, good. You're up."

Amy shrieked, whirling around so fast she nearly lost her balance. "Sheldon! What are you doing here?"

He looked thoroughly confused. "I live here."

Amy's hand covered her racing heart. "Yes, I know that. What are you doing here _now?_ Why aren't you at work?"

"You were sick."

"It's not like it doesn't go away. I told you I've been sick before and even _I _went to work. You didn't have to stay home to take care of me." Sheldon looked uneasy and immediately she regretted chastising him. "Sheldon, I'm sorry. You just startled me, and I don't want to be the cause of keeping you from work."

"Oh, you're not the reason," he said, waving his hand. Amy recognized he couldn't admit he was concerned about her. "Although, I suppose in a round about way, you are."

"Sheldon, you're not making any sense."

"Well, initially you took off work to appear as though we'd gone on a wedding trip. Though now it seems fortuitous since you were sick half the night." Amy knew sooner or later he would get to his point, but at the moment she was having a hard time following his logic. "I thought the same ruse might be of use to me as well. Kripke would no doubt badger me endlessly should I not be exercising my marital rights for the expected period of time. Plus, I'm always being encouraged to take a vacation. All in all it seemed in my best interest that I take some time off, and that came as a result of having marrying you."

"I see," Amy said shaking her head. _How ever you have to justify it. _"So, now that I'm feeling better, did you want to do something?"

"We aren't _actually_ going to have a honeymoon," he snorted as if the very idea was preposterous.

"No, I suppose we aren't," she sighed. Her water was hot and she used fixing her tea as a distraction. "How about this," she said, dunking her tea bag. She'd opted for the peppermint Sheldon had already selected. "We go out for breakfast."

"Amy! It's nearly lunch time!"

"Maybe for you, but I'm hungry and I want breakfast and I don't want to fix it." She hadn't meant to snap at him, but she was tired of everything being a battle with him. "How about we go to some place that serves breakfast all day? You can have lunch, and I can have eggs."

"I eat lunch at the CalTech cafeteria." He was shaking his head. "They don't serve eggs."

"You could try some place new."

By the way he was moving around, Amy could see he was getting upset. "I eat lunch at the CalTech cafeteria with my friends," he restated.

It wasn't worth the fight, Amy decided. She was sure there were going to be bigger things she was going to want him to compromise on other than breakfast. "Fine. Hand me the Lucky Charms, would you?" He started to reach for the cereal, then turned to her.

"You really should eat something healthier."

Amy rubbed her forehead. She was starting to get a headache. "I don't like bran cereal."

"I'll make you some eggs if you don't want to cook."

_Why couldn't he have offered that in the first place? _She thought. Taking a deep breath, she gave him a strained smile. "Thank you, Sheldon. I'm going to go get dressed." She left the room before he could comment or she said something she was going to regret.


	14. Chapter 14

**_14_**

Sheldon stood at the entrance to 4B knocking quietly and whispering, "Leonard! Leonard! Leonard!" The door opened to reveal his former roommate, grinning from ear-to-ear.

"Hey, Sheldon! How goes the honeymoon?"

Standing up straighter, Sheldon looked down his nose at the shorter man. "You know perfectly well I'm on vacation. I am _not_ on a honeymoon. It is _not_ a honeymoon," he reiterated.

"Well, whatever it is you're calling it, how's it going?"

"I'm in Hell, Leonard."

Leonard's eyebrows formed a convoluted "M". "I haven't heard any fighting from over your way. What's the problem?"

Sheldon's gaze traveled into Penny and Leonard's apartment. He looked for Penny, then back at his own door. "Can we not discuss this out in the hallway?"

"Sure, come on in," he said, opening the door wider.

"I need a ride to the comic book store. Can you take me there?" Sheldon tried to control his movements but was still dancing around more than he wanted to. "I'm trying to avoid Amy. I'm supposed to be helping her unpack, but every box she's brought into the common areas have been filled with things I can't have on display. A vase covered in some representation of daisies, frilly lamp shades, and more monkey figurines than I can even count!"

Leonard adjusted his glasses. "Well, to be fair, you have all of your figurines on the bookshelves—I don't know why Amy's can't be there as well."

"That's what she said! Honestly, Leonard I expected you to back me up on this!"

"But she has a point. Penny and I have had to make adjustments, too. For example she said she didn't care if I kept my lightsaber in the bedroom, so long as I didn't hang it on the wall."

"You call that a compromise? I had to agree to purple towels in the bathroom. Purple!"

Leonard crossed his arms over his chest and leaned into the door jam. "You did agree 'for better or worse,'" he smiled.

Shaking his head, Sheldon's shoulders slumped. "If I had known how bad 'worse' was going to be, I never would have. I should have remembered what it was like the last time you moved out. All I want now is the harmony we used to have when we lived together."

Leonard did a double-take. "_Excuse me?_ Harmony?! Sheldon we argued every single day!"

Sheldon waved his hand. "That was only because you refused to listen to logic."

"You mean your version of logic."

"Exactly! Whose logic should we have listened to, yours?"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Leonard started to speak, then just muttered, "Never mind."

Just then Sheldon heard Amy calling his name. "Quick, Leonard! We have to go before she finds me!"

Sighing, Leonard entered his new apartment. "Fine, I'll get my keys. But you owe me. Penny told me to have these boxes unpacked before she gets off of work. You think Amy's bad? She's not going to go 'all Nebraska' on you." Leonard was pulling his door shut and Sheldon was halfway down the first set of stairs when he heard Amy's voice in the hall.

"Sheldon? Oh, hello Leonard. Have you seen Sheldon?" He could hear his friend from his hiding place around the next bend in the stairwell.

"Um, yeah. We're headed to the comic book store." _No, no, no!_ He thought. _Don't tell her where we're going! She'll invite herself along! _ Sheldon heard her give a "hrumph."

"He was supposed to be helping me unpack."

"I think he needs a bit of a break," Leonard said. "I won't keep him out long, I promise." There was a pause, then Sheldon heard her speak again, but it sounded as if she was calling down the steps.

"It'll be much easier without him telling me where everything needs to go!" The next sound he heard was their apartment door slamming. He hadn't meant to upset her, but all the time they'd spent together the last few days was starting to get to him. While he and Leonard saw more of each other considering in the past they lived and worked together, it wasn't the same. He didn't feel the pressure of physical expectations as he did with Amy.

Sheldon looked up when he heard someone coming down the stairs. "The coast is clear," Leonard told him, joining him in descending. "We don't really have to go to the comic book store," Leonard said, holding the outer door for him. "We could just drive around for a bit if you want."

"No, we should go to the comic book store. If I don't come back with some evidence I'll probably be in the 'dog house.'" Leonard laughed at him. "What's so funny?"

Leonard was looking at him through the bottom of his glasses. "You. Worried you're going to be in trouble. When have you ever cared what people thought?"

"I've always cared about what people thought. I've just always thought they were wrong." Opening the door of Leonard's car, he settled on the seat, buckling himself in. "So, how are things with you and Penny?"

"You really care?" Leonard sounded surprised and Sheldon turned to look at him.

"Yes! I don't wish to be the cause of you feeling forced to stay with Penny."

Leonard started the car, pulling away from the curb. "Well, it's taking some getting used to, but I think we'll get there. It's better than last time," he added. After a stretch of silence he asked, "So, I'm guessing things aren't going so well with you and Amy?"

Sheldon stared out the window, watching the familiar sights of Pasadena pass by. "We seem to argue over everything. When we were dating, she was more than happy to accommodate me. Now it seems like she's going out of her way to make sure she gets what she wants." Sheldon shook his head. "Where did the romance go?"

Leonard glanced away from the road, looked at him then focused on the traffic once more, shaking his head. "There's going to be some compromises. Like with Penny and me. We're still trying to work the bugs out, and it's going to take some time."

Heaving a sigh, Sheldon agreed. "I suppose you're right. I just want my routine back."

"I can understand that, but you have to realize you're probably going to have to make some adjustments to your routine and establish a new one."

Sheldon turned to face Leonard again. "I already have. With Amy being sick in the morning, my bathroom time has been pushed back. My bowels are in an uproar."

Leonard looked uncomfortable. "Um, yeah. So, Amy's been sick a lot?"

"Unfortunately, yes. I'm surprised you don't hear her in your apartment."

Shifting in his seat, Sheldon watched Leonard check his rear view and side mirrors. "Maybe we can talk about something else."

"We could play a driving game," Sheldon offered.

"Or how about work?" Leonard suggested. "Have you been keeping up at home?"

"Sadly, no. Amy keeps insisting we're on vacation and we need to think about things other than work, but it's impossible! All I keep thinking about is how Kripke is getting ahead of me because of my absence. I have to keep sneaking equations onto my whiteboard when she's not looking."

"Here's a thought. Why don't you just come back to work? It'll help you get somewhat back into your routine, and maybe you won't get so aggravated with Amy."

Sheldon was staring out the window again. "She'll never go for it. Supposedly we're on some Caribbean island. I think she's afraid if I go back to work, word will somehow reach her co-workers."

"How about if I talk to her? Tell her how much you're needed at the University, and how much you miss work."

Contemplating his offer, Sheldon was silent for a minute. "I suppose it could work. Agreed. For some reason she seems to hold your opinion in high regard."

"Um, thanks."

"You're welcome." Sheldon reached into his pants pocket, pulling out his wallet and extracting a twenty-dollar bill, placing it on the console between the seats. Looking down, Leonard noticed the money.

"What's that for?"

"It's been brought to my attention that perhaps I owe you some compensation for your transportation services." Sheldon turned his gaze out the window. "It will be a permanent part of the soon-to-be-drafted Best Friend Agreement."

Leonard sighed. "Sheldon, we don't need an agreement. You know I don't mind taking you places if you would just show a little gratitude."

He should have thanked Leonard right then for today and past efforts, but for some reason the words just wouldn't come. Thanking someone acknowledged you were somehow in their debt, and he needed everything to be even. Or at least skewed in his favor.

Sheldon wiggled with discomfort before changing the direction of the topic. "Did you know most couples break up because of financial disagreements?"

"Yeah, like that's the only problem you're facing."

Ignoring Leonard's remark, Sheldon continued. "Apparently the arrangement you and I had doesn't work for Amy."

"Well of course not. She's your wife, not your roommate. _I_ didn't like being handed a bill. I can't imagine Amy would care for it either."

"But it was itemized!"

"Exactly."

Sheldon shook his head in confusion. He'd been hoping some time alone with Leonard would restore a sense of balance to his life, but instead it seemed to be making things worse. He kept agreeing with Amy! As his friend, shouldn't he be backing him up? What was the phrase Howard used? 'Bros before 'hos'? Okay, that description didn't even remotely encompass Amy, but the sentiment was there. Weren't men in relationships supposed to commiserate over the unfair demands their partners placed on them? He thought that was supposed to be one of the perks of _being_ in a relationship.

"So what did you guys come up with?" Leonard's words jolted Sheldon out of his reverie.

"Well, it isn't in a formal agreement yet, but Amy suggested a mutual account we both contribute to for household expenses, and personal items continue to be paid for individually."

Leonard looked like he was considering his words. "That's not a bad idea," he said. "Maybe that would work with Penny and me." There was a pause, then he added, "It's a little impersonal, but for you guys, it's a start."

"What do you mean it's a start for _us_?" Sheldon asked, his voice rising higher.

Leonard gave a little shrug, not quite meeting Sheldon's gaze when he looked over at him. "It's understandable," he hedged. "It's not like either one of you wanted to get married like this. No one can blame you for finding it difficult to combine your lives."

Sheldon sighed. "It _is_ difficult, Leonard. I didn't think it would be this hard." They'd arrived at the comic book store, but neither made a move to leave the car. Leonard pulled the keys from the ignition, fiddling with them.

"If it's any consolation, Penny says Amy's feeling the same."

"That's not really a consolation," he said. "I don't want her to be unhappy." Sheldon lay his head back against the back of the seat. "I don't know what to do, Leonard. Everything is coming apart. My work, my future, my relationship with Amy. Just like I was afraid would happen." This wasn't the first time he'd had these thoughts and Sheldon could feel his heart rate increasing as the first vestiges of a panic attack began to take hold. He was gasping for air.

"Sheldon, now just calm down! We're going to go into the comic book store and forget all about this for awhile. Just think about what comics you want to look for. Maybe Stuart got his shipment early and you'll have first choice."

He liked being first. With his superior intellect, it was where he always should be. And the fact he might beat Wolowitz and Koothrappali to the new issues only made the thought sweeter. Sheldon felt himself relax, and smiled. He could feel the slick paper covers in his hands already. Unbuckling his seatbelt, and exiting the car, Sheldon was suddenly anxious to get into the store.

"Get a move on, Hofstadter! We're burning daylight!"

xxxxxx

Leonard watched Sheldon over the rims of his glasses, not really paying attention to the comics he paged through. Now that his friend was distracted with his own stack, he seemed to have returned to his normal, condescending self. It struck Leonard as being odd he found that a relief. From the moment Sheldon had announced his plans to marry Amy, Leonard knew it was going to be a battle to keep his friend from freaking out. Surprisingly, Sheldon had held up better than Leonard originally thought he would.

"Find something?" Leonard asked, as he noted Sheldon already had several comics in his hand.

"Obviously," he said, waving the stack in Leonard's direction. _Oh, yeah. He's back,_ Leonard thought. "How about you?"

"No, nothing yet. I have to keep in mind I've got a smaller storage space now. Penny's apartment is quite a bit smaller than ou. . .yours is."

"You could keep some of yours in our apartment if space is an issue." Sheldon let out a breathy laugh. "Get it? Issue? Each comic book is an _issue!_"

Leonard frowned at him. "Yeah, I get it, Sheldon. And thanks for the offer, but sometimes I like to read them when I can't sleep. I don't think knocking on your door in the middle of the night is a good idea."

"So don't knock. You still have a key, just come in."

"What if you and Amy are. . .you know."

Sheldon was waving a hand in front of his face, laughing practically hysterically. "Stop! Leonard, you know that's a ridiculous notion!"

Shifting his attention to the magazines in front of him, Leonard agreed. "Yeah, I guess it is." _Poor Amy_, he thought. "Thanks for the offer, Sheldon. I'll keep it in mind." He understood Sheldon's motivation. The comics would be a link to their past that would reassure Sheldon, and Leonard knew Amy probably wouldn't object.

Stuart came out from the back of his shop, carrying a large box. "Oh, hey guys. I didn't expect you until tonight."

Walking over to the counter, Leonard gave Stuart a hand maneuvering the carton. "Sheldon needed a time out from Amy."

Stuart was confused. "A time out? Wait, shouldn't you guys be at work?"

"Sheldon's on his pseudo-honeymoon, and I took the day off so I could unpack my stuff at Penny's."

Stuart's mouth dropped open, his eyes bugging. "You want to run that by me again?"

Stepping up to the check-out, Sheldon said, "Penny and Leonard have moved in together, therefore he took the day off to organize his belongings. I wouldn't think it would need much of an explanation."

"No, the part about you being on a honeymoon. You married Amy?!" Leonard thought Stuart looked as though he'd just been kicked in the stomach. Of course Stuart was aware Amy and Sheldon were dating—he was there when Sheldon asked Amy to be his girlfriend—but he knew the man still clung to the hope he had a shot with her. Sheldon was less than attentive to Amy at the best of times, and Leonard knew Stuart was banking on that.

Turning to Leonard, Sheldon gave him a sharp look. "How many times do I have to tell you Amy and I are _not_ on a honeymoon!"

"But you did marry her?" Stuart asked.

Sheldon's attention returned to Stuart. "Yes. Now could you ring these up so I can get home to the ol' Battle Axe?"

"Sheldon!" both men cried in unison.

Sheldon waved his hand, sporting a goofy grin. "Oh, I'm just kidding. Isn't that what men do when talking about their old ladies?"

Stuart was still looking shell-shocked. "So, when did all this happen?"

"Monday morning," Leonard supplied. "It was kind of sudden." He raised an eyebrow, staring at Stuart hoping he'd catch his meaning. It took a minute, but finally he did comprehend Leonard's implication.

"Oh. OH!" Stuart looked Sheldon up and down, then shifted his gaze to Leonard. "Really?"

"Yeah, we found it pretty unbelievable ourselves." Sheldon stood before the register, completely oblivious to the conversation going on around him.

Stuart swallowed and gave a little cough. "Um, I guess congratulations are in order."

Sheldon stared blankly at him. "Why is that?"

"Because of your marriage!" Leonard whispered to him through gritted teeth.

"Oh. Okay. Thank you." Sheldon tried to hand the comics to Stuart for purchase, but he pushed them back at him.

"You can have them. Think of them as a wedding present." Leonard thought Stuart looked crestfallen, but the look was completely wasted on Sheldon.

"Thank you!" Sheldon's grin was genuine. "I'm sure Amy will be thrilled!" He began paging through the comic on top of his stack.

Rolling his eyes, Leonard handed his selections to Stuart who was still staring at Sheldon in disbelief. Lowering his voice, Leonard assured him, "I think he really does care for her in his own way."

Stuart nodded. "Good. That's good. She's a nice girl. She deserves to be happy." Stuart punched numbers into his cash register. "But if things go south, let her know I'm still interested."

"Stuart!"

"I'm just saying. . . ."

Leonard shook his head. He really did need to find some friends who had a better grasp on reality.


	15. Chapter 15

**_A/N: I just wanted to say "thank you" for your continued interest and reviews. Especially those who have left guest comments/have PM disabled. I really appreciate your efforts to leave me your thoughts. _**

**_15_**

Amy had just finished unpacking her last box and was in the process of breaking it down, when she heard a knock on the door. It surprised her since anyone she would have expected, would either have a key or would have simply walked in. Using the peep hole, Amy saw a distorted view of a woman standing with a wheeled case, looking around the corridor. Amy gasped and found she felt nauseous again. Opening the door, she forced a smile.

"Mrs. Cooper! Why didn't you let us know you were coming?"

"And give y'all the chance to concoct some ridiculous story? I think the one you fed me the other day was quite enough." Mary was still standing in the hall as Amy suddenly remembered her manners.

"Please, come in." She stepped aside as Sheldon's mother strode into the middle of the living room. Mary did a full turn, glancing at the additions Amy had made to the apartment.

"Is Shelly at work?"

"Um, no. He and Leonard went to the comic book store. We're actually on our honeymoon," Amy provided.

"And he chose to go with his little friend to a comic book store rather than spend time with you." Mary's arms were crossed over her chest, one hip thrust out.

"Actually, I asked him to go," Amy fudged. "He was kind of getting underfoot as I was trying to unpack." She gave a little laugh as she clenched the material of her skirt in her fists. The two women stared at each other for a long, uncomfortable moment. "Won't you have a seat?" Amy gestured towards the sofa, gritting her teeth to maintain her smile as Mary chose Sheldon's spot. "Would you care for some tea?"

"That would be lovely, thank you." Mary began removing her coat and Amy was instantly there to take it from her, placing it on the back of Sheldon's desk chair.

Crossing to the kitchen, Amy filled the kettle, fussing with it more than usual to avoid conversing with her new mother-in-law. Pulling down two mugs and the tea box, she asked,

"Do you have a preference? There's camomile, peppermint, ginger, black, green and some other herbal blends."

"Does Shelly still have that apple cinnamon one?" Amy paged through the envelopes of tea.

"Yes, there's still one here." Mary nodded and Amy prepared the mug, deciding she, herself, was in need of some camomile. She could feel Mary's gaze on her as she moved around the kitchen.

"I must say, Amy, you sure know your way around Shelly's kitchen."

Amy looked at Mary and bobbed her head. "Yes. I've spent many a happy hour here. You might say it was almost like coming home. And now it is!" Amy spun back around, presenting her back to Mary. _Shut up! Stop babbling! You're only adding to her suspicions!_ _Think of something to talk about!_ "So, how was your flight?"

"Oh, it was a nightmare," Mary sighed, wiping a hand across her brow. "Flying stand-by is always a trial. But the Good Lord saw fit to make certain I made it."

"And we're so glad you did!" _Where the hell is Sheldon?! _"Perhaps I should text Sheldon and see where he is. If he's still at the comic book store, I should let him know you're here."

"Oh, there's no need for that," Mary said with a wave of her hand. "This will give us a chance to get to know each other better." Her smile seemed genuine, and Amy relaxed a fraction. It _would_ be nice to get to know Mary a little better. Perhaps she could find out what it was about herself Sheldon's mother didn't seem to approve of. Just then the kettle began to whistle and Amy could stall for another minute before subjecting herself to Mary's cross examination.

She pulled a bamboo tray from the cupboard and arranged their mugs, sugar, honey, napkins and spoons on it before carrying it over to the coffee table. Setting it before Mary, Amy explained she wasn't sure how she took her tea.

"I'm partial to honey," she said, picking up the plastic bear, squeezing a healthy amount into her cup.

"That must be where Sheldon gets his preference from," Amy smiled.

"Actually, it's his Meemaw. My mother. She always called him her 'little honey bear.'"

Amy was confused. "I thought she called him 'Moonpie.'"

Mary tasted her tea. "Oh, she called him that, too. Mother has an endless supply of nick-names for Sheldon. All her grandkids, actually. It's just that she seems to hold a special place in her heart for Shelly. Saw he was different right off." she said wistfully. "Pop Pop, too."

"Pop Pop?"

Mary dabbed at her lips with a napkin. "My father. He died of cancer when Sheldon was five."

"Oh. I'm sorry," Amy said. Knowing how close Sheldon was to his Meemaw, she imagined he would have had an equally strong bond with his grandfather.

"Well, that was a long time ago now," Mary said quietly, and Amy found she was at a loss as to what to add. Amy was sitting in what she would always consider to be Leonard's chair, and saw Mary had turned slightly to face her more directly. Mary's gaze swept over her, and Amy felt the urge to cross her arms over her stomach, as if Sheldon's mother was a human pregnancy detector. It took all Amy's effort to keep her hands on her knees and try to appear relaxed.

Lifting her mug, Mary took another small sip. "I have to say, I was more than a little surprised when y'all called the other day. It wasn't that long ago you and Shelly weren't even speaking to each other."

At first Amy thought Mary was referring to the lack of communication between herself and Sheldon after she'd told him about the baby, but when Mary continued, Amy realized she'd meant her disagreement with Sheldon over whose branch of science held more validity.

"It was such a silly argument, I'm glad you settled it," she smiled.

Amy felt her brows wrinkle in confusion. "But you said you didn't approve of me."

Mary shook her head, reaching over to pat Amy on the knee. "Oh, Darlin', I would think you would have found out by now the best way to get around Sheldon's stubbornness is to tell him he can't have the very thing you want him to have. I've never disapproved of you. You're the best thing to happen to Shelly in a good long while."

Amy swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat. All this time she'd been so worried Mary was angry with her for leading her son astray. Maybe she wouldn't disown Sheldon when she found out about the baby? "Mrs. Cooper, I . . ."

"Now what did I say about that? You call me 'Mary.'"

Licking her lips, Amy nodded at her. "Mary. I just want to say. . . ." She couldn't continue. Suddenly she burst into tears, bolting from her seat and racing towards the bathroom in search of a tissue. _Damn hormones! If his mother didn't suspect, she certainly would now!_ Amy dabbed at her eyes, taking in several deep breaths before returning to the living room. She stood before her mother-in-law, posture rigid.

"I apologize for that. It's just I was so sure you hated. . . ." Amy was so overwhelmed with emotion again, she hadn't noticed Mary rising until she was engulfed in her embrace.

"There, now," she soothed, rubbing Amy's back. "I could never hate you! You have no idea how your being with Shelly has changed him. And it's for the better, dear, believe me. Now, I wish y'all hadn't felt the need to run off and get married without letting the family know, but that's over and done. So, come sit down, have some more tea and tell me a little more about yourself."

The crumpled Kleenex in Amy's hand was sodden, but she wiped at her nose and eyes anyway, as she nodded, retaking her seat. Amy took a drink, swallowed, and asked in a hoarse voice, "What would you like to know?"

Mary smoothed the skirt of her dress over her knees. "Well, I know you do some of that sciency stuff like Sheldon, but that's about it."

"I'm a neurobiologist," she said. At Mary's blank look she explained, "I study the brain in Humans and other primates. Currently I'm working on the causes and effects of addiction."

"I see," she said. "And you like that kind of work?"

"Oh, yes!" she enthused. "It's very rewarding. It even makes up for the times when the subjects fling feces at me."

Mary's eyes widened. "I hope that's your little monkey friends you're talking about."

Amy laughed at the mental image that came to mind when she thought of her Human subjects. "Of course," she tittered.

"So, what about your family?" Mary asked, changing the direction of their conversation. "I can't imagine your parents were any happier than I was you didn't have a church wedding."

"Well, there's just my mother, and actually, she was disappointed. But now she's just so happy I'm married, she's overlooked the suddenness of it."

Reaching over, Mary patted Amy's knee once more. "But don't you feel you've missed a vital part?"

Amy wasn't sure what Mary was getting at. "A vital part?"

"Confessing your love before God and Jesus." Amy was scrambling to come up with an answer for Mary when she heard the apartment door open. Sheldon's head was down, looking towards the bowl where he dropped his keys.

"You wouldn't believe the fantastic find I made at the comic book store," he said. He still hadn't looked up as he set his bag on the floor, starting to remove his coat.

"Sheldon, look who's come for a visit!" Amy pitched her voice with a bit of warning, causing Sheldon to look up. He stood there, blinking as if seeing his mother in the middle of the living room was akin to meeting an alien life form.

"Hello, Mom," he finally said, clutching his jacket in his hand, remaining rooted to the spot just inside the door.

"That's all you got to say to your mother? Come give me a hug." Amy watched as Sheldon moved towards his mother as if he were on a death march. _Even she has to order him to touch her_, she thought. He'd barely wrapped his arms around her, but Amy noticed Mary pulled him in closer for a true hug. Over his mother's shoulder, Sheldon's gaze met Amy's.

_"What is she doing here?"_ he silently mouthed. Amy shrugged, not sure what to tell him.

xxxxxx

At his first opportunity, Sheldon broke free from his mother's embrace. "You _really_ didn't have to come all the way out here," he said, moving to place his coat and messenger bag on his chair.

"And miss seeing how happy my baby is with his new wife?" Sheldon looked between his mother and Amy who were both staring at him. His mother was watching for signs of affection towards Amy, and Amy was warily looking at him as if she too was wondering what he was going to do.

Swallowing, Sheldon stepped closer to Amy, picking up her hand, giving it a slight squeeze. He knew it wasn't enough to satisfy his mother who was watching him intently. He leaned forward and gave Amy the briefest of kisses on her cheek, pulling back almost before his lips had made contact with her. He wished Amy hadn't looked quite so surprised. His mother was sure to pick up on the fact it wasn't their normal routine.

Sheldon continued to hold Amy's hand as he took a seat on the arm of the chair Amy occupied. "I was under the impression a honeymoon was a time for a couple to get to know each other better. _Alone_," he added. Up until that point he'd adamantly refused to acknowledge he and Amy were engaged in a post-wedding ritual, but if it helped convince his mother to return to Texas, he would gladly embrace it. His mother always saw too much. She'd probably already deduced Amy was pregnant.

"And I don't know of any newlywed husbands who go out with their friends to a comic book store rather than help their new wife settle in," Mary said pointedly, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Amy wanted the latest issue of the Flash," Sheldon blurted. "Isn't that right, Amy?" She stared at him for a moment before enthusiastically bobbing her head in his mother's direction.

"Yes," she said, casting a glance back at him. "The Flash is one of my favorites." Her voice cracked slightly. "He's very dashing."

Sheldon gave a breathy laugh. "Dashing!" Amy immediately recognized her pun, and smiled warmly at him, and Sheldon felt something constrict in his chest. He'd been noticing the feeling more and more recently, and wondered if perhaps he shouldn't see a doctor.

Turning his attention back to his mother, Sheldon stated, "As you can see, we are perfectly happy together. So, what hotel are you staying at? When is your flight back?"

"Oh, I'm not staying at a hotel. You have an extra room now that Leonard's moved out. I'll be perfectly comfortable there, and I'm not sure how long I'll be staying."

"But what about Meemaw? Who's going to take care of her?"

Mary stood, walked over, and gave his shoulders a hug. "Now don't you worry about your Meemaw. Missy's home and Junior's not too far away if something comes up. She's very happy for you, by the way. Missy and George too."

Sheldon nodded. "Yes, she called me. Us," he amended.

"She sounds lovely," Amy added. "I can't wait to meet her in person."

"If she'd been up to it I would have brought her with," Mary said. "But air travel is just too much for her. Y'all are just going to have to make a trip out to Texas." Sheldon started to shuffle his feet, moving his limbs as his agitation rose. He dropped Amy's hand, crossing to the kitchen, opening the door to the refrigerator. Staring sightlessly into the box, he grabbed the first thing he saw and removed it. When he brought it to the counter, he noticed he'd grabbed a bunch of broccoli. _Why was there broccoli in his refrigerator? He hated broccoli. So did Leonard._ It was Amy's, he realized.

Sheldon looked up to see both women staring at him. Returning the broccoli to the refrigerator, he took the carton of milk instead. Pouring himself a glass, he took a large gulp before addressing his mother's statement. "I doubt that will happen soon. After taking a week off, Amy and I are both going to have some catching up to do. And Amy's studies are reaching a critical point, isn't that right?" He looked at her, willing her to agree with him.

"Yes, in fact I probably shouldn't have taken this week off, but I was so caught up in wedding bliss, I threw caution to the wind!"

"Well, if y'all are too busy to come see family, I guess it's a good thing I followed the Lord's urging and came to see you. Now, if you don't mind, I believe I'll get settled in."

Before Sheldon could object, Mary had grasped the handle of her suitcase and headed towards Leonard's old room. He panicked. The room was filled with Amy's things, making it evident it was where she slept. And if his mother was in Amy's room that meant. . . .

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable in a hotel?" Sheldon cried, hurrying after his mother. "Amy snores really loudly and. . ." He was cut off by his mother's stern expression. She stood in the doorway of Amy's room, hands on her hips.

"You two don't sleep together?"

"What? Of course we do!" his voice squeaked as he started to lean casually into the bedroom's doorframe only to jerk back before he actually made contact. "We have coitus all the time. Now that we're married, of course." He was still dancing around under his mother's scrutiny. _Why couldn't he stand still?_

"Then why are all of Amy's things in here? Shouldn't they be in your room?"

_Think! THINK! _"They wouldn't fit," he said, relieved something had come out of his mouth. "She has a _lot_ of stuff."

Mary looked around the room. "Yes, she does," she agreed, "But surely some of this would fit into your room."

Sheldon sucked his lower lip into his mouth, biting it with his upper teeth as his gaze darted around the room. "We're working on it. Sheeeee's just storing things in here until we decide where they should go!"

Striding over to the dresser, Mary pulled a drawer open. "Oh, really? Isn't it a little inconvenient to keep her underwear in another room?"

Sheldon moved past her, grabbing handfuls of Amy's intimates. He tried not to think of the garments he held, envisioning Amy in nothing but the scraps of satin. "I just haven't had a chance to clear out a space for her," he said, moving back towards the hallway.

"Shouldn't you have been doing that instead of running off to the comic book store?"

His mother's expression was making him squirm. _He hadn't done anything wrong! He just needed some space!_ "I told you! Amy wanted the new Flash!"

"Uh huh." Mary lifted her bag onto the bed, unzipping it. She began pulling clothes out, moving towards the closet with an armload of dresses. Upon opening the door, it was evident there was no room. Amy's clothes filled the small space and there were no extra hangers.

"You know how small the closets are," Sheldon explained. "There's simply no room for them in mine."

"Well, I agree with you there," Mary said, paging through Amy's wardrobe, looking for a place to hang her clothes. "Amy, honey?" she called, "Could you maybe move some of your stuff into your bedroom so I could have some space?"

Amy appeared in the doorway, looking as if she was about to claim occupancy of the room they all stood in, when Sheldon looked pointedly at her.

"Mom needs a place for her dresses. Maybe we can find some place in _our_ room?" At first Amy looked like she was going to state the obvious, that she _was_ in her room. Sheldon started to gesture with his head towards his room, seeing the moment Amy caught on.

"Oh! Of course!," she said, slipping several outfits off hangers. "These darn small closets! No room for my things in _our_ room!" Mary was standing behind her, fortunately missing the wink Amy sent his way.

"Yes! Well, I'll just go make some room in the closet in _our_ room!" he said, realizing he still had a handful of Amy's underthings clenched in his fist. "Don't bother with your nightgown," he said loudly, nudging Amy out the door, "We'll just have to take it off again!" Sheldon continued to herd Amy down the hallway, guiding her into his room and shutting the door behind them. Just her standing in the middle of his space was ratcheting up his anxiety. How on Earth was he going to spend the night with her?

"Sheldon!" Amy hissed. "What were you thinking?!"

"What was I supposed to do? She won't go to a hotel!" He lowered his voice, realizing his "whisper" was almost the same volume he usually used. "She'll guess the only reason I married you was because you're pregnant!" Amy looked devastated. _What is she so upset about? She knew that's why they'd gotten married! _Amy was trying to blink back tears, coughing slightly to clear her throat. Now_ what had he done?_

"I'll sleep on the sofa."

"You can't do that. I need you to sleep in my bed." For a moment Amy looked happier, until he added, "We're supposed to be convincing her we're having coitus. We can't do that if you're on the couch."

Amy's features hardened once more. "Of course not. Why don't _you_ sleep on the sofa? You can tell her it was my _snoring_ that made you opt for the living room!"

Obviously Amy had heard his comment. "You can't be in my room alone," he stated. "You shouldn't even be in here now."

Amy's hands were on her hips and she was staring up at him. "Then what do you propose, Dr. Cooper?"

She was angry, and he even _got_ that she was angry, but when she looked up at him, fire flashing in her eyes, he felt that funny feeling in his stomach and chest again. The clincher was her calling him by his title. He would never tire of being called "doctor." He had the strangest urge to touch her in that moment, and almost had. Shaking himself free from Amy's spell, Sheldon stepped back from her.

"I suppose we're going to have to spend the night in here. One of us on top the covers, the other underneath." It seemed like a reasonable solution to him, and he was impressed with his sudden brilliance, despite the distraction Amy was proving to be.

Her hands were still planted on her hips. "Really, Sheldon? _That's_ your solution? Do you think we're in some schlocky fifties movie? Maybe we should put a line of pillows down the center of the bed!"

He thought about it for a minute. "That could work too, I suppose."

"Sheldon!"

He took a seat on the bed, gazing up at her. _Why was she so angry? _"Do you have a better idea?"

"Yes! We could just share the bed! We're married, it's okay!"

But it wasn't okay. What if she touched him? Or worse yet, he touched her? If her skin had contact with his? Holding hands was one thing; he could decide when to let go. Sanitize the moment contact was severed. In his sleep, he wouldn't know if they brushed against each other, and the germs would fester unbeknownst to him. In a day or two he'd come down with something and he wouldn't know when or where he'd encountered the pathogen. He hadn't gotten sick from touching Amy that. . .that night, but it was only because he'd made it to the shower in time. Eight hours in bed together was surely more than enough time to incubate whatever she was bound to be carrying.

"Amy," he pleaded, shaking his head. "I just _can't_ sleep under the covers with you. I understand we've been sanctioned by the state of California to have coitus, but I'm just not ready to take that step."

"Just because we'd be between the same sheets doesn't mean we have to have coitus. In fact, even if we _were _having sex, there is _no way _I would do that with your mother in the next room!" Sheldon felt faint at just the thought.

Amy's eyes softened and she sat down next to him on the bed. He watched her start to reach out for him, then pull her hand back. It was a gesture he'd often witnessed, but until that moment, he hadn't realized how difficult it was for her _not_ to touch him. As much of a struggle as it was for him to be tactile.

"It's all right, Sheldon," she sighed. "It's probably only for a couple of nights. You've got that old quilt you lent me the other morning. I'll sleep on top the covers and use that."

Sheldon was horrified. "But you were sick when you used that! We can't have that cesspool of germs anywhere near either of us!"

"I wasn't that kind of sick and you know it," Amy said, standing. He was starting to recognize when she was exasperated with him, and although he couldn't understand _why_ she should be put out, he decided to let the matter drop. He'd simply find another blanket for her.

xxxxxx

Mary placed the last of her things in the top drawer of the dresser Sheldon had hastily cleared out. Rubbing her brow, she exhaled a deep sigh, looking towards the ceiling. _What on Earth am I going to do about that boy? Jesus, give me strength. _She knew perfectly well Sheldon's wedding had been a farce, and had to come see for herself what the situation was. It was painfully obvious both of them felt an obligation to get married, and there was only one reason for that. Frankly, she thought the Second Coming would happen before Sheldon had sex, but clearly she was wrong.

She felt sympathy for Amy. It was clear as a mountain stream the woman loved her Shelly, and for that Mary was grateful. Sheldon was her own baby and she often had a hard time overlooking his faults. Taking on a man with as many issues as her son spoke of a woman of strength, and Amy was going to need every ounce of it to handle what was to come.

What needed to happen was a long talk with Sheldon, and she wasn't relishing the thought. She knew how stubborn he could be, and she was going to need every tactic she'd ever learned about manipulating him to get Sheldon to own up to his responsibilities. She'd heard Amy and Sheldon talking in the room next door, but now it was quiet. She could only hope they'd gotten distracted and were taking advantage of their seclusion. "When pigs fly," she snorted aloud.

Stepping into the living area again, Mary saw Amy clearing up their tea things. Crossing to her, Mary slid an arm around her shoulders, speaking in a low voice.

"Darlin' I need to have a little chat with Sheldon. Do you think you might be able to visit your friend Penny for a little while?"

Amy's face paled, and her eyes seemed to grow twice their size. "I. . .I suppose I can," she said hesitantly.

Mary squeezed her shoulders reassuringly. "Now I'm not angry with Sheldon, or you for that matter, so don't look at me like that. It's just time he and I had some time alone. Can you do that?"

"Of course. Penny and I haven't had much of a chance to catch up lately. Just let me clean this up and I'll. . ."

"I can take care of it," Mary said, taking the tray from Amy's hands. "You just run along now."

Amy wiped her hands across her skirt. "Oooookay. Tell Sheldon I'll be back soon."

Smiling, Mary promised she would. She was about to call out for Sheldon when he entered the living room.

"Where's Amy? I thought I heard the door."

Mary was placing mugs in the sink, then turned to address him. "You did. She's gone to see Penny."

"Why did she do that? She's had all day to talk to Penny!" Mary gave Sheldon a little smile. So little had changed from when he was a child. He knew a confrontation was coming and he was looking for ways to avoid it. Walking back to the sofa, Mary sat on the center cushion, patting the place to her left.

"Come have seat, Lamb Chop. We need to have a little talk." Sheldon stared at her and she saw his reflexive swallow. He slowly crossed the floor, to lower himself to the spot he claimed on the sofa. "Now don't look at me like that, Shelly. A person would think I was going to whoop you. I just want a few more details about what prompted this sudden desire to be married. Especially when you've told me you don't have time for relationships with your work."

"I told you on the phone, Mom. Amy and I decided we couldn't wait another day to be together. And since I _know_ you don't approve of cohabitation without the benefit of marriage, we decided to do that as soon as possible."

"You can't blame me for being a little surprised," she said, turning more to face him. "Last I heard you two were dating bi-monthly."

"Yes, well, that was proving to be a problem since we were getting closer." Mary watched Sheldon's face twitch and knew without a doubt he was trying to pull one over on her. From the time he was a little boy he'd never been able to keep anything from her. Nothing like George or Missy, who could look her straight in the eye and lie through their teeth, all the while looking as innocent as the day they were born.

Mary's voice hardened with her frustration. "Let's cut the crap, Shelly. Now I might not be a rocket scientist like y'all, but I know when my baby is lyin' to me."

Sheldon sighed and rolled his eyes. "How many times do I have to tell you I'm a theoretical physicist!"

"Don't be changin' the subject," Mary warned. "I'm not sure how you accomplished it," she said, rubbing her forehead, "But it's apparent to me you got Amy 'in the family way.'"

Sheldon had two fingers poised on his right thigh, spinning them back and forth as if he was trying to drill a hole in his leg. "I don't know why you would think that," he said, studiously avoiding her gaze.

Sitting up straighter and crossing her arms over her chest, Mary tried to make him look at her. "Shelly, I'm talkin' to you." Slowly, Sheldon raised his gaze to hers, only to glance away again. "I guess I have my answer," she sighed. Mary knew in her heart Sheldon and Amy had sinned; it was the only explanation for her socially awkward son to have run off and gotten married. Still, there was a part of her that'd hoped Sheldon really _had _fallen in love with Amy, but it was painfully obvious that wasn't the case.

"You have anything to say for yourself?" she asked.

Sheldon's hands were now trapped between his knees, and he was hunched over as if he was expecting a physical blow. "No, Ma'am."

"I don't suppose I have to tell you I'm disappointed."

"No, Ma'am," he repeated.

Mary exhaled a deep sigh. "I expected to be having this talk with George or Missy, but never you," she said, running her hands along her thighs. "You do understand I'm not upset about the baby. I'm just sorry you saw fit to put the cart before the horse."

At that, Sheldon looked up at her, confused. "Neither one of us has a cart, or even a wheelbarrow for that matter."

Again, Mary felt herself taking a steadying breath. How her brilliant son could always be so literal was beyond her. "I simply meant I wish you would have been married _before_ you had. . .relations with Amy."

"If that was the case, then there would have been no need for me to marry Amy. I am the father of her child, therefore social convention dictated I should marry her, otherwise I wouldn't have." Sheldon's stark honesty squeezed Mary's heart. There had been a part of her that wanted to believe even though they'd slipped up, Sheldon loved Amy in his own way. Perhaps he did, and he just wasn't ready to admit it to himself.

"And that's the only reason you got married?"

Sheldon blinked at her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Well, yes! Amy and I had been perfectly happy with the way our relationship was going." Mary had a hard time believing Amy had been "perfectly happy." She really didn't know Amy, but it was apparent to Mary the woman loved her son. She was also fairly certain Amy hadn't used her pregnancy to "trap" her son. No, this whole situation had Sheldon's brand of morality stamped all over it.

"On the one hand, I can't condone your behavior. I raised you better than to go sleeping around." Sheldon started to protest, but Mary held up her hand, speaking over him in a louder voice. "On the _other_," she emphasized, "I'm proud of you for doing the right thing. You owned up to your responsibilities and made an honest woman out of Amy."

"It was pointed out to me that this is the twenty-first century and that is no longer. . ."

Interrupting, Mary rolled her eyes Heavenward. "Y'all know what I mean." Standing, she made a shooing gesture towards her son. "Now why don't you toodle over across the hall and get your wife. We'll go out, have a nice dinner, and talk about your plans for the future."

Sheldon looked like he was about to argue, but at her stern expression he backed down, muttering a "yes, Ma'am" as he headed towards the door.

As he exited the apartment, Mary cast her gaze upwards once more. "George, you were right. I gotta take my time with Sheldon." Walking to the room she was staying in to fetch a sweater and her purse, Mary shook her head. "I'm just not sure there's enough time in the world to get through to that boy."


	16. Chapter 16

**_16_**

Sheldon stood in his bedroom staring at Amy, who looked back at him. Neither seemed to know what the next move was. Since over the course of dinner his mother more or less acknowledged their "courthouse quickie" had been a marriage of convenience, Sheldon was certain he wouldn't be required to share a room with Amy.

Apparently his mother had other ideas. Why Mary kept pushing the two of them together when she knew they hadn't married for love was beyond him. He started to suggest Amy might be more comfortable on the sofa if she was overcome by nausea, but his mother would hear nothing of it, insisting his moral support was of more benefit. When he'd tried to argue he could be just as supportive from his room, his mother insisted a newlywed couple needed time to get to know each other better, and sleeping together—whether or not they did more than sleep—was the best way to accomplish that.

So now, here he stood facing Amy who seemed just as uncertain as he was. She kept glancing at the bed, then back at him, chewing on her bottom lip. Sheldon tossed up his hands, making a derisive sound.

"I don't know why my mother keeps pushing us to share the same bed. She knows about the baby and that it's the only reason we got married. There's no reason for us to sleep together."

"It might not be so bad," Amy ventured. "And maybe she's right—maybe it will make us more comfortable around each other."

He produced another snort. "I'm as comfortable around you as I'm going to be." Amy looked crestfallen and he didn't know why. They'd reached a point in their relationship where she could anticipate his needs without them being spoken. How much closer did she expect to get?

Gathering up her nightgown and robe, Amy informed him she was going to get ready for bed. Sheldon took advantage of her absence and changed into his own pajamas. He would have preferred changing in the bathroom, as was his habit, but getting ready to share a bed with Amy was already taking up too much precious time. As it was, he was past his bed time and he was getting so agitated he wondered if he'd ever get to sleep. As if he could sleep with someone in the same room as him! Not to mention the same bed! Even if it was Amy, he was certain he was going to be less than useless tomorrow.

Amy knocked lightly, calling his name. "Sheldon? Are you decent?" Well of course he was decent! He also happened to be dressed.

"You may come in," he said, wondering how he managed to answer without a tremor entering in his voice. Cautiously, Amy poked her head around the door, and he was relieved to find her dressed in a robe and couldn't see her nightgown, or much of it anyway. He was further comforted to realize it wasn't the nightdress she'd had on that fateful night. When she tucked her hair behind her ear, Sheldon noticed her ubiquitous hair clip was missing. Until that moment he hadn't thought whether or not she would sleep with it. Now that he did think about it, she hadn't had it in _that night_ either. Memories of running his fingers through that silky hair flashed through his brain, and he found he was staring at her, almost as if he was in a trance.

"Sheldon?" Amy's voice brought him back to the present. Shaking his head, hoping it would focus his vision, Sheldon cleared his throat and pulled tighter on the belt of his robe.

"Excuse me," he said, moving past her. "I need to brush and floss." He managed to make it out of his small room without touching her, but he wondered how he'd accomplish the same feat once they were in the same bed. He was starting to panic. His bed was full sized which meant there was enough room for him to fit comfortably, but not him and another person.

Walking to the bathroom, Sheldon concentrated on breathing in and out. His next move was his favorite game when he was in the bathroom: close his eyes, pick out an element at random, and with his eyes remaining shut, find the spot on the shower curtain where it was represented. He usually had an accuracy of seventy-five percent, depending on if Leonard had remembered to close the curtain. Tonight he was having no such luck. Iron was nowhere near where he imagined it to be.

Sheldon picked up his tooth brush, inspected it, doused it with water and was about to apply toothpaste when he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. In the past he'd heard Amy describing his skin as having a "pale, waxy quality," but he looked positively bloodless. His eyes appeared unusually large in his ashen face, and he looked as bad as Amy did when she was expelling everything she'd consumed in the last twelve hours.

Maybe he was sick! For once he was actually excited by the prospect. _If I'm sick, Amy will have to sleep on the sofa! She can't risk her health or the baby's! _Sheldon quickly finished his night time routine, hurrying back to his room to tell Amy she would have to sleep in the living room regardless what his mother said.

Rushing into his room, he saw Amy was already under the covers, lying on her right side, hands tucked under her chin. "Amy! I think I'm sick! You need to get up and go lay on the couch."

She rolled over, and opened her eyes long enough to get a good look at him. Settling back on her side, she closed her eyes again. "You're not sick, Sheldon. But if you really think you are, then you go lie on the sofa."

"But! But this is _my_ room!" He sputtered. "I'm too tall. I don't fit on the sofa!"

"That's not my problem," she mumbled into the pillow. _Oh, God! Her head was on his pillow! Her drool would soak through the pillow case and into his pillow! And his sheets! Would they ever become clean enough for him to risk sleeping on them again?_ He'd have to replace all of his bedding once she was exiled back to her own room. _How long was his mother going to stay and inflict this torture on him?_

Just then his mother appeared at his door, wrapping her robe about her thin frame. "What in the name of all that's holy is going on in here? I know the walls in this apartment are like them paper ones they've got in Japan, but y'all are carrying on so, it's like you're shouting in my ear!"

Amy sat up, cast a glance at him and said, "I'm sorry if we woke you, Mary. Sheldon thinks he's sick, and we were just _discussing_ him sleeping on the couch." His mother stepped into the room, trying to lay a hand on his forehead. He jerked back, but she pursued, finally placing her palm on his head.

"You're perfectly healthy," she pronounced. "At least physically. Now, you get in that bed this instant!" Sheldon jumped at the tone of her voice, climbing into bed as quickly as he could, pulling the covers up to his chin.

"Now, that's a good boy," Mary soothed, running her fingers through his hair. "Get situated, and I'll tuck you in." Sheldon wiggled until he was in the center of the space Amy had left him, waiting for his mother to arrange the blankets around him.

"Make sure the lines are all straight," he said. When she was finished, she kissed him on the forehead.

"Good night, you two."

"Good night, Mom." Sheldon answered, closing his eyes. He could still feel Amy's presence to his right, but as long as she didn't move, he could pretend she wasn't there.

xxxxxxx

Amy lay on her side, eyes wide open. _Oh, my God! Did Sheldon's mother just come in here and put her son to bed?! _Most of the time she found Sheldon's child-like qualities endearing, but this wasn't one of them. She was still upset he kept insisting they couldn't sleep in the same bed. At least he hadn't noticed she was between the sheets with him, and not on top of the comforter as he'd originally dictated. Amy could feel how rigid he was, lying next to her, and wondered if this was Sheldon's normal sleep posture or if it was because of her. His breathing was still rather fast, so she gathered he wasn't nodding off.

She was still a bit disconcerted about Mary's appearance in Sheldon's room, but it had calmed him down. Thinking about it, there was nothing incestuous, she decided, just. . .odd. But then that's the first word that came to mind when thinking about Sheldon.

Amy inhaled slowly through her nose, exhaling just as slowly through her mouth, trying herself to relax. She was more than aware Sheldon was mere inches from her, and her stomach was tied in knots of nerves, excitement and doubts. Keeping her back to him, she could only imagine what expression he wore, wondering if his eyes were open or closed. If she had to guess, she'd opt for closed, as Sheldon was no doubt trying with all his cognitive ability to wish her away. That thought saddened her. To think Sheldon would do anything to have her gone from his bed wasn't very flattering.

Feeling the heat emanating from him with each tiny shift of his body, Amy caught whiffs of Sheldon's unique scent. It was driving her crazy. All she wanted was to roll over, wrap her arms around him and bury her nose in the juncture of his neck and shoulder, breathing him in.

_Maybe I should move to the sofa_, she thought, wondering how much longer she was going to be able to resist him. It took long minutes of imagining dissecting brains before she actually began to drift off, only to hear Sheldon whisper.

"Amy?" She was tempted not to answer, then thought if she didn't, he would only continue repeating her name until she did respond.

"Yes?" her voice sounded exasperated even to her own ears.

"You're under the same covers as me." _Don't remind me,_ she thought.

"So?"

"We agreed you would sleep on top with the quilt."

Amy took the time to take a deep breath. "You decided that," she said, keeping her voice low, lest her mother-in-law reappeared.

"But you said you would," he insisted.

Amy didn't want to get into this. She'd finally started to fall asleep, and the last thing she wanted was to get up and fetch a cold blanket. "I'm not touching you."

"But what if. . ."

"Sheldon!" Amy feared she'd roused Mary. Lowering her voice, she whispered over her shoulder, "I don't move around when I sleep. I'll likely wake up in this same position."

"But what if you have a night terror? Penny said. . ."

Amy exhaled. "I haven't had one for weeks. Usually it's stress that brings them on, but if you don't stop bugging me, I'm likely to have one!" There was a long stretch of silence, and Amy was tempted to roll over and look at him. Often if she could see his face she could tell what he was contemplating. She stayed put, however, thinking if her back remained to him he would eventually calm down. It seemed to be working as at length, he finally sighed,

"Good night, Amy."

Smiling at her minor victory, Amy returned, "Good night, Sheldon."


	17. Chapter 17

**_17_**

Sheldon felt himself slowly rising to consciousness, which in itself he found strange. Normally he woke seconds before his alarm went off, completely awake. It was only when he was roused from his REM sleep he was groggy and disoriented.

This morning, however, his senses seemed to be relating information in slow motion, as if he were gradually swimming to the surface of a large body of water. That confused him since he didn't know how to swim, well, other than what he'd learned on the Internet. He could see the surface, the sun shining on the barrier between water and air, but he seemed in no hurry to reach it. Was he dreaming?

He could feel his arms wrapped around something warm. The first thought he had was of his teddy bear, Mr. Growly, but the toy had been cast aside nearly thirty years ago now. Still, the sensation of warmth and comfort remained, and Sheldon found himself snuggling into it. That is until the mass started struggling for release. Mr. Growly never tried to move away from him, he realized.

Sheldon opened one eye and spied a brunette head inches from his nose, the scent of Amy's dandruff shampoo being the first thing he processed. _What was his nose doing practically burying itself in Amy's hair? What was Amy's hair doing on his pillow? He was on his side. He didn't sleep on his side._ And yet, here he was, on his right side, his shoulder pushed into the mattress and his arms wrapped around something soft and warm. _Something soft and warm with Amy's hair. . . ._ Just as he was about to make the connection, the mass shifted again.

"Sheldon, let go! I'm going to be sick!" Three things happened in the same moment: Sheldon released his grip; Amy bolted from the bed; and Sheldon realized it wasn't his childhood toy he'd been wound around. _Oh my God! What has she done to me now?! _He was sitting upright, running the fingers of both hands through his hair when it dawned on him _he'd been touching her!_ Portions of his skin against portions of her skin, infecting him with the germs and bacteria that were running rampant all over her body.

He could hear the sounds of Amy retching in the bathroom, but he didn't care. He had to get in the shower. _NOW!_ Scrambling from the bed, Sheldon didn't bother with his robe, running with high steps to the bathroom. Bursting through the door, Sheldon barely registered the startled look on Amy's face.

"I have to shower!" he exclaimed, jumping into the tub and stripping the moment the curtain was closed. Tossing his pajamas and underwear over the rod, Sheldon danced around waiting for the water to warm, careful to keep his feet on the anti-slip ducks adhered to the bottom of the tub. Finally, the water was at it's proper temperature and he could pull up the bar redirecting the flow from the faucet to the shower head.

Water cascaded over his body and he released a sigh. Danger averted. Sheldon stood under the spray, allowing the warm water to calm him. The heat was soothing, comforting, like the feeling he'd had wrapped around Amy. Suddenly he jerked. _No! Amy was the reason he was in this predicament!_ Just then he realized she was mere inches from him, gasping for air between bouts of nausea. Suddenly he felt very exposed even though he knew shadows were all that could be seen behind the curtain.

"Are you all right?" Amy asked weakly, and he found it ironic she was asking after him since she was the one currently evacuating her stomach.

"I'm fine," he said, resting his head against the cool tile at the back of the shower. "I just. . . ."

"Needed a shower after touching me," she supplied. Her voice sounded upset and he didn't know why. If she knew that's why he'd hastened to the shower, why should that make her sad?

"Would you be able to hand me a towel?" He knew he was asking a lot as Amy was doubtless in no condition to get up, but he was rapidly approaching getting chilled, and he couldn't afford to actually get sick on top of everything else. Sheldon heard the sounds of Amy's movements, and waited for her to thrust a towel into the shower, but all he perceived was a soft thud and a slightly exhaled, "Oh. . . ."

Heedless of his nudity, Sheldon pushed the curtain back to reveal Amy sprawled on the bathroom floor, passed out. He grabbed the first towel to hand, and noticed it was hers. At the moment, it didn't matter. Wrapping the purple fabric around his waist, Sheldon leaned over, trying to help her to sit up.

"Amy? Amy!" She wasn't responding and he was starting to panic. Should he get his mother? She would know what to do, but how could he admit to her he couldn't take care of his wife? She'd never leave! He'd be forced to sleep with Amy the rest of his life!

Amy's eyes fluttered. "Sheldon?" She started to sit up and he helped support her. "What happened?"

"I asked you to get me a towel and I think when you got up, you fainted." She was still blinking and looking around the bathroom as if she wasn't processing his words.

"You're getting me wet," she said, rubbing the water off her face that had dripped from his hair.

"Sorry," he said, running a hand through his hair to slick it back. He could feel the cold drops sliding over his back, but he didn't have time to deal with it. He needed to get Amy off the floor and under some covers. "Do you think you could stand up?"

"I. . .I think so." She started to move her feet under her, but as she tried to stand, Amy faltered. Sheldon's arms were there in an instant, grabbing her before she could lose her balance. "I'm sorry," she said, tears forming in her eyes.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Sheldon said, propping her up. Amy sagged against him, still too weak to stand on her own. Without a thought, he scooped her up, carrying her back to his bedroom. She wasn't as heavy as he would have expected. The multiple layers of clothing she usually wore gave the impression she weighed more than she did. But then he had a flash of their first night together and how somewhere he'd registered she was slimmer than he'd realized. Still, he thought she was losing weight. The daily purges weren't helping and he decided there and then he was going to have to pay more attention to what she ate.

Amy's face was turned into his damp chest. "Sheldon, I can manage," she said, but from her feeble struggles, he knew that wasn't true. Laying her down on the bed, he tucked her icy feet beneath the blankets, making sure to settle the rest of the covers over all of her. Amy's eyes were closed, and her pallor was alarming, but at least her breathing had evened out.

"I'm going to get the bowl," he said, running a hand over her clammy forehead, pushing back strands of her sweat-dampened hair. It took a moment for him to recognize what he'd done. Until he was wiping his palm on the towel tied loosely about his waist, did he also realize he was practically naked.

Securing the covering with a pull on either corner, Sheldon walked quickly to the kitchen, retrieving the bowl he now kept close at hand. He filled a glass with a small amount of soda, and grabbed a packet of saltines before heading back to his room, hoping his mother didn't choose that moment to use the facilities.

Amy's color was a little better and she was now sitting up, taking the glass of ginger ale from him to try a sip. "Thank you, Sheldon."

"You're welcome." He placed the bowl beside the bed, taking a seat next to her on top of the covers. "You have to eat something," he encouraged.

"I'm not sure I can," she said, closing her eyes, leaning her head back against the headboard.

"Just one cracker?" He was starting to get twitchy. He needed another shower and she had to eat something. Why wouldn't she try?

Amy's eyes opened and she sat up straighter, pulling the pillows behind her back. "Go take another shower, Sheldon. I promise I'll try to eat something." He was momentarily taken aback. Did she really know him that well? He was torn between the need to wash the sweat of her forehead off his hand and his need to make sure she ate. Looking down at his state of undress, he decided the shower was rapidly taking precedence.

Grabbing his Saturday T-shirts and pants from the drawer, he looked back at Amy who was now nibbling on a cracker. Satisfied she was at least trying, Sheldon headed towards the bathroom for his second shower of the day.

xxxxxx

For the second morning in a row, Amy woke with Sheldon wrapped around her. She couldn't help but smile at the notion her germophobic boyfriend—no, husband—had little difficulty touching her in his sleep. So, there was at least hope, she thought. It was evident the night she and Sheldon slept together, he'd not been using his cognitive abilities. Perhaps the solution was to keep Sheldon in a permanently altered state. She had to suppress a giggle at the thought of handing Sheldon a glass of orange juice laced with alcohol just to get a good morning kiss. Suddenly, the notion of he and Raj sharing a "cure" didn't seem so humorous. Would there ever be a time he touched her of his own accord?

His arms held her securely, her rump pushed up against his crotch as he spooned behind her, their knees nested together. She could feel his chest pressing against her back with each inhale and exhale, his chin resting on top of her head. For once she was glad she was so much shorter than him; they actually fit together perfectly in bed.

Just as she was about to drift off again, reveling in Sheldon's surrounding warmth, Amy felt the all-to-familiar stirrings of nausea. _No, no, no! _She thought. _Please not now! Not when he's finally holding me!_ Amy tried everything she'd ever been told or read about mitigating nausea, but it wasn't working. With each passing moment, the sensation was growing worse. If she didn't move quickly Sheldon would _really_ have a reason for needing a shower.

Racing to the bathroom, Amy made it just in time to avoid making a mess all over the floor. Heaving into the toilet, she started to cry, and she didn't know why. It wasn't the worst bout she'd had, and yet she was sobbing, wishing more than anything Sheldon would appear, wrap her in the well-worn quilt, and pull her back into his arms. Knowing it wasn't going to happen, her sobs only increased. There was a knock at the door.

Wiping her eyes, Amy felt a flutter of hope. "Sheldon?"

"No, darlin', it's Mary. May I come in?" Amy fought down the feeling of disappointment, and bid her mother-in-law to enter. "My word," she said, looking at Amy sitting on the floor. "If you don't look the color of under-cooked oatmeal."

Amy managed a small smile at her exclamation. "Thanks."

"So, you're feeling pretty poorly?" Mary asked, her brow wrinkled in concern. Thinking it was fairly obvious, Amy bit back a snappy retort knowing Mary was genuine in her concern.

"I've been better," she answered as another wave of sickness crashed over her. Gratefully, Amy accepted the glass of water Mary handed her. She rinsed her mouth, taking in short gasps of air, hoping to calm her roiling stomach.

"I was powerful sick with Missy and Sheldon," Mary confessed, taking a seat on the edge of the tub. "Not Junior, though. Strange to think now that he was the easy one. That boy got himself into more mischief. . . . Still, Shelly has caused me more than one gray hair."

Looking up at Mary's far-off expression, Amy couldn't imagine Sheldon getting into the usual kind of trouble. "I can't see Sheldon doing anything illegal."

Mary chuckled. "Well, from his perspective he didn't think he was. Those government officials had other ideas, though."

Amy felt her eyebrows raise in surprise. "Government officials?"

"Turns out yellowcake uranium isn't stocked at the local Wal-Mart. They had Shelly pegged as some kind of terrorist. I think the fact he was thirteen was the only thing that saved him from federal prison." Amy felt herself grinning. She liked the thought of Sheldon being a bad boy. Too bad he hadn't been trying. "He was on their watch list for several years," Mary added. "'Course it was them fellers from the Environmental Protection Agency that gave him the most trouble, seeing as he'd stored the stuff in the garden shed."

Amy was smiling again, imagining Sheldon's protests to the officials. She wondered what Sheldon had been like as a boy. Had he been just as arrogant as he was now? Sitting up straighter, Amy gave her mouth another rinse, turning her gaze to Mary.

"What was Sheldon like as a child?"

"Younger," Mary smirked. "I swear that boy came out of me talkin' all that sciency stuff." Amy nodded. She remembered her own childhood and the frustration she felt when adults didn't want to take her seriously. She'd taken to dressing as an adult and passing herself off as a dwarf to get people to stop treating her like the ten year-old she'd been. Unfortunately, her youthful looks soon gave away the truth.

"I had taken Sheldon to a doctor in Houston 'cause I was sure he was crazy. He's the one who insisted the 'cure' for Shelly was to stop holding him back. He was eleven years-old and that doctor wanted us to put him in college! Well, I had one heck of a time tryin' to convince Sheldon's daddy we should do it. It was after he'd been beaten up for the umpteenth time George finally agreed. 'Can't be any worse than this,'" Mary quoted, imitating her former husband's deeper voice. Smoothing down her robe, Mary continued. "Well, it wasn't much better. You'd think those boys would have been more mature than a bunch of fifth graders, but it turns out, not so much. Apparently being shown up by some little kid doesn't sit any better when you're eighteen than when you're eight. And you know Shelly. He's not exactly tactful when he points out what he sees as his superior smarts."

Amy chuckled. "No, he's certainly not that."

Crossing her legs, Mary looked towards the ceiling, causing Amy to look up as well. It was as if her mother-in-law was searching for an answer, but she wasn't going to find it on the bathroom drywall. "Don't give up on him," Mary said quietly. "You gotta take you're time with Shelly."

"I'm not going to give up on him," Amy tried to reassure her. It wasn't as if she and Sheldon were fighting. In fact, she felt closer to him now than she ever had. Hadn't she awoken wrapped in Sheldon's arms? Swallowing down the emotion she felt closing off her throat, Amy looked up at Mary. "I love Sheldon. He can be maddening as hell, but I can't imagine myself with anyone else. Until I met Sheldon, I was convinced romantic love was merely a social construct. Sheldon has taught me differently."

"Sheldon taught you that?" The incredulity in Mary's voice made Amy smile.

"Well, I don't think he's ready to admit it, and he may never be, but he showed me attraction is more than a chemical reaction within our brains."

Mary reached over, and squeezed her hand. "I'm glad he has you, Amy." Amy felt herself tearing up again, noticing Mary seemed similarly affected. In that moment she felt closer to her than she did her own mother and hadn't even realized she'd gotten to her knees and moved to hug Mary.

"Thank you," she whispered, pulling back to wipe her eyes. "I'm sorry. It seems everything makes me cry these days."

"Now don't you fret about that," Mary said, giving Amy's shoulders a gentle squeeze. "This won't be the last time you feel like crying over nothing."

"Now I feel better," Amy said wryly.

Mary brushed the hair back off Amy's face, smiling. "I really am happy to have you in the family. If Shelly starts acting up, you just call me." Amy felt her heart begin to swell. She was so sure after their last encounter Mary was going to be disapproving of her and Sheldon. Amy could see how their marriage of convenience would have disappointed her, but her willingness to accept the situation only endeared Mary to her more.

Amy gave her another quick hug then got to her feet. "Would you like some breakfast? Suddenly I'm starved!"


	18. Chapter 18

**_18_**

Things were beginning to settle into a new routine, and Amy was actually enjoying the security an established pattern gave her. She and Sheldon had returned to work, Wednesdays were still new comic book/Halo night, and Thursdays were now the designated night Penny and Leonard joined them for dinner. Sheldon had, in no uncertain terms, told Howard, Bernadette and Raj they were banned from the apartment on Thursdays. Amy found this a little odd, as it wasn't like he was creating a time for he and Amy to be alone. Quite the contrary. It was almost as if she and Penny were the outsiders, merely tolerated because there was no other option.

Amy stood in the kitchen, preparing a salad with Penny's help. From time to time she would look into the living room, watching Sheldon carrying on an animated conversation with Leonard. Noticing the direction of her gaze, Penny looked over her shoulder at the men and returned her attention to Amy.

"They're so cute when they get their science on," she grinned, adding the tomato she'd been cutting to the salad. Amy was still watching them, not feeling the same delight her bestie seemed to be. She wondered if Penny found her as adorable when she talked about her work.

Tossing her head slightly to move the hair slipping from it's clip, Amy refocused on making dinner. "If they were talking about physics I would probably agree with you," she said. "Seeing as they're arguing the merits of some silly space program, I find it. . . .juvenile." She must have been scowling because the next thing Amy knew, Penny's hand was covering hers, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Is everything okay? With you and Sheldon, I mean?"

Putting down the knife, Amy went in search of the cucumber she'd rinsed off. The action gave her a moment to collect her thoughts. She didn't want to "bitch" to her friend, but at the same time she needed some reassurance. The moment Mary had left the apartment, Sheldon had reverted to his old behavior, gratefully exiling her back to Leonard's old bedroom.

"Amy?" Penny persisted.

Casting a glance over at the men, Amy leaned closer, lowering her voice. "Sheldon still treats me more like a roommate than a wife. Whenever he needs something, he's all sweet and attentive, but the moment he has what he wants, I'm dismissed as if I was a servant."

Penny's expression was sympathetic. "Well, you can't really be surprised," she said "I mean, he _is_ Sheldon after all."

"And I'm prepared to take that into account," she said. "It's just that while his mother was here. . . ." Her voice trailed off, unsure how much to reveal to her friend. Amy loved her dearly, but also knew what a gossip she could be. Penny didn't set out to tell everyone her secrets, it just sort of happened. The last thing she needed was Howard and Raj to get word of Sheldon's reluctance to be intimate. They gave him enough grief as it was.

"While his mother was here, what?"

Amy felt her cheeks growing warm. She was probably glowing like a nuclear reactor. Leaning in closer, she whispered, "Mary stayed in my room, and she insisted. . . ." Penny was leaning closer to her now as well.

"Insisted. . . ."

Sucking in a breath, Amy rushed out, "That Sheldon and I share a bed."

Penny straightened up, pushing at Amy's shoulder. "Get out!" she cried, causing Leonard and Sheldon to break from their argument long enough to stare at the both of them.

"Why should she get out?" Sheldon asked. "It's her apartment."

"Nothing, Sweetie," Penny said, grabbing Amy by the arm and dragging her further into the kitchen. "Go back to your show." Once they were out of view, Penny swung back on her. "What do you mean you shared a bed? You guys actually had _sex_?"

Amy smoothed a hand over her cardigan, emphasizing her slight bump. "No, we did not, but we obviously have."

"That doesn't count," Penny said, waving a hand in front of Amy.

"I beg to differ."

"It's not the same," Penny maintained. "Sheldon sort of fell into you that night. Your vagina just got in the way."

Amy felt her throat constricting, threatening to close off her airway completely. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she angrily wiped them away. "I can't believe you just said that to me!" She couldn't face Penny and fled to her room, slamming the door in her wake.

Flopping back on her bed, Amy let the tears flow. She couldn't believe Penny could be so cruel. Ever since she'd confessed to Penny, her friend had been so supportive that the insensitive words cut twice as deep. Is this really what she'd been thinking all along? That Sheldon couldn't possibly have been turned on enough to make love to her? Rolling over, Amy buried her face in her pillow. The one that smelled of her dandruff shampoo and nothing else. Not Sheldon's conditioner, nor the combination of baby powder and masculine scent that was his alone.

There was a knock on the door, and for a brief second Amy thought it was Sheldon coming to check on her. Then she laughed wryly to herself. _He probably hasn't even noticed I've left the room._

"Amy? I'm sorry! Please let me in."

Sitting up, Amy wiped the tears from her cheeks. Who was she kidding. No matter how upset she was, she could never stay mad at Penny. She was about to call out when the knock came again.

"I really didn't mean it. Please don't shut me out."

Amy gave a slight cough to clear her throat. "It's open." Peeking her head around the door, Penny looked almost as upset as Amy felt. Penny rushed into the room, wrapping her arms around Amy's shoulders.

"I'm _so_ sorry, Ames! It's just that I know how Sheldon is and. . ."

"Let's just forget about it, okay?"

Penny was dabbing at her eyes with one hand, picking up one of Amy's hands with the other, sitting down next to her on the bed. "No, I don't want to forget about it. I don't want you believing I think Sheldon couldn't love you. I'm sure he does, he just doesn't show it in the usual way." Amy let her head drop, unable to meet Penny's gaze as her friend continued. "It's just if you'd seen how he was at The Cheesecake Factory that night, you'd understand how shocked I was to find out you'd slept together."

"I can see why you still find it difficult to believe," Amy stated, continuing to look at her hands resting on her knees rather than Penny. "This child is the closest thing to the Immaculate Conception since Jesus. I'm surprised Sheldon's mother hasn't booked me on some tour to heal the sick." She looked up to see Penny biting her bottom lip in an effort not to smile. _Obviously she feels the same_, Amy thought. "He doesn't treat me any differently," she continued. "Especially since his mother returned to Texas."

"I'm not following."

Amy stood and began to pace the space at the end of the bed, hands clenched at her side as she took awkward steps. "Sheldon's mother stayed here for two nights."

"Yeah, I know. I spoke with her right before she left. Talked about how she was still disappointed in Sheldon, but that she was happy he had you. I think she's kind of excited about the baby, even if she didn't say that."

Amy nodded. "She told me the same thing." She was getting distracted from what she wanted to admit to Penny. "At any rate, Mary kept pushing Sheldon and me together, saying a newly married couple needed to sleep together to get comfortable with each other."

Pursing her lips, Penny bobbed her head. "She's got a point."

"Well, yes, I suppose she did, and at first I was actually excited about it. Thinking maybe something _would_ happen between us if we were confined to his room."

"I take it that's not what happened."

"He kept trying to get out of it at first, pretending to be sick, practically demanding I go sleep on the couch. But I didn't. I held my ground and pretended to have fallen asleep."

"Good for you!" Penny said. "And did he come around? Relax at all?"

"Not really. He eventually fell asleep in some ridiculous pose, like he was laid out in a casket." Amy had stopped pacing and stood before Penny, where she looked up at Amy, grimace on her face.

"I've seen that. It's creepy."

Sitting back down on the bed, Amy felt shy again. "But he didn't wake up that way. He was wrapped around me, nuzzling the back of my neck. If it hadn't been for the damn morning sickness. . . . Two mornings in a row! Sheldon was holding me and my damn stomach betrayed me!"

Penny was grinning madly, pulling Amy in for a hug. "Sweetie that's great! For Sheldon that's gigantic!"

"I know," she said, pushing the hair off her face. It took some courage, but Amy forced herself to meet Penny's gaze. "I was so excited—I mean, two days in a row!"

"And what was he like at breakfast? Especially that second day?"

Amy couldn't sit still and was up moving around the room again. "He acted like nothing had happened. He wasn't evasive, or anything, just greeted me as if I'd slept in the room next door. If he was anyone else, I would have thought he'd blocked it from his mind."

"No chance of that with Sheldon," Penny agreed.

"I thought maybe Sheldon needed the anonymity of darkness to express his affection, but when I suggested I stay with him the night his mother left, he acted as if I'd asked him to have a lobotomy. I even called him on it. Asked how he could be so appalled when he'd woke the past two mornings holding me."

"What did he say to that?"

Amy gave her an ironic smirk. "He tried to twist it around. Somehow _I'd _gotten him to put his arms around me through some kind of thought control. If I could do that, wouldn't I have before this?"

Crossing her legs, and supporting herself with one arm on the bed, Penny shook her head. "It's never him. _Everything_ that happens is always someone else's fault. He still blames me for losing two of his socks from his laundry a year ago just because I walked down the stairs with him."

"That's nothing. He misplaced one of his dry erase markers, and he was sure I'd taken it so he couldn't work on his equations while we were off work. When he found it under some papers I'd been instructed not to touch, he accused me of using a short-range transporter to make it materialize there."

"That's our Sheldon," Penny said, still shaking her head.

Tears started gathering in Amy's eyes, and she sniffed. "I know. And that's why I love him." She was crying in earnest and suddenly Penny was on her feet, wrapping her arms around her.

"I know, Sweetie." She held Amy, rubbing her back until the tears subsided. Amy was certain she hadn't cried as much in her entire life as she had the last few weeks. And that was saying a lot. Pulling back from Penny's embrace, Amy went in search of a tissue, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose before facing her friend again.

"I don't know if I can keep doing this," she said. "I thought I could. I thought just being near Sheldon was going to be enough, but it's worse than when we saw each other in person twice a month." Amy dabbed at the fresh tears threatening to spill. "After waking up with him like that. . . . I want more, Penny. I know that terrifies him, but I can't help it. And I don't know what to do."

Penny's brow wrinkled, and Amy could see she was hesitant to offer her advice. "You could take a chance. Let him know what you want."

"I. . .I don't know. That hasn't worked so well in the past. I've tried subtle, I've tried obvious, none of which seems to have any effect on him other than to make him retreat further."

"Maybe you don't give him a choice," Penny said. "Don't ask him. Just plant one on him and see what happens."

"Plant one on him?"

Penny gave her an exasperated sigh. "Kiss him, for God's sake! Even Sheldon will get that message!"

"Oh, I couldn't do that. The first time I kissed him we had to do a relationship reset. And I don't even want to think about what happened after. . . ." she trailed off, waving a hand before her stomach.

Taking her by the shoulders, Penny gently shook her. "Amy, you're married now. Married people kiss each other. Married people do a lot more than that. Okay, normal married people." Just as Amy was about to get indignant over Penny's statement, she qualified, "You know what I mean. And it's not like he can throw you out or anything."

"The probability he'd toss the mother of his child out onto the mean streets of Pasadena is highly unlikely," she conceded, "But that doesn't mean I won't incur at least one strike."

Penny rolled her eyes. "You don't have to take his stupid class you know. Again, what is he going to do?"

"Just make my life hell."

"Any more than it is now?"

_She had a point_, Amy realized. "I don't want to make him uncomfortable," she hedged.

"Ames, you're not going to rape him!" She must have made a strange face because suddenly Penny looked worried. "Are you?"

"Of course not! Even that night it was Sheldon who started things, I just didn't argue." Amy shrugged.

Penny joined Amy in her pacing. "And it was Sheldon who was wrapped around you, so you know on some level he doesn't object," she was tapping an index finger on her lips, working through the variables. _It's almost like she's analyzing the data,_ Amy thought, surprised her self-avowed non-scientific friend was being so methodical. "We just have to get him to connect the dots. That he cares for you more than he's willing to admit, even to himself. Especially to himself," she added.

"You know Sheldon," Amy said. "If he doesn't come to the conclusion himself, he's not even going to consider it."

Penny was at the door, turning the knob. "Then make him come to the conclusion. Come on. It's time we joined the boys. Besides, I'm starving." Amy nodded, and wondered if Penny realized that in her own way, she was as single-minded as Sheldon.

xxxxxx

Amy had just closed the door on their friends after bidding them a good night. Sheldon had been particularly difficult and all she wanted was her bed, but she still had a grant proposal to write. Sighing, Amy took a seat at her computer. Her laptop had taken over Leonard's spot, and she now understood why Sheldon insisted on the space he'd claimed. There was a draft from somewhere landing squarely on her shoulders, making her back and neck tense up, especially when she sat at the desk too long. She thought about taking the laptop to the sofa, but the unconventional location would break her concentration. Besides, when she sat on the couch, all she could do was stare at Sheldon's back, admiring the way he hunched over the keyboard, absorbed in his own work.

If the study of Sheldon Lee Cooper had been an academic career path, she'd have another Ph.D. She'd always been attracted to him, of course, but lately he was driving her wild. Nausea had subsided, only to be replaced with an even more debilitating sex drive. Amy wanted Sheldon so badly, she was amazed she _hadn't_ attacked him. Her fantasies were getting out of control, and Gerard just wasn't doing the trick.

Refocusing on the computer screen, Amy began typing once more, trying to ignore the stiffness in her shoulders. She was almost done and could take a soothing bath, not only to relax her muscles, but rid herself of the tension Sheldon continued to cause. She must have made some groan of pain, because she was surprised to hear Sheldon speaking her name.

"Amy?" Looking up, she saw his concerned gaze. "Are you all right? Is everything okay with the baby?"

Amy gave him a small smile, despite the headache she felt forming. Since he'd come to accept the existence of the baby, Sheldon assumed every little twinge was a result of her pregnancy. Her hand moved absently to her abdomen, rubbing the slight bump.

"I'm fine, Sheldon," she said, reaching an arm back to try and massage her shoulders. "Just a little stiff."

"You look like you have a headache," he said in an uncharacteristic show of concern.

"A little one."

Sheldon stood and moved to his spot on the sofa. "Come sit over here," he commanded. Amy was tempted, but the proposal was due in the morning.

"I have to finish this," she said, turning once more to the computer.

"You can finish it in a minute," he stated. "Come here." There was something about the demanding tone that sent a shiver through her, and Amy was powerless to refuse him. Joining Sheldon, she was surprised when he took her by the shoulders and almost forcefully turned her around so her back was to him. She could feel his fingers slide into her hair as he pushed it over her shoulder and had to bite her lip to keep a moan from escaping. The feel of his hands on her was sending her already raging libido into overdrive. Did he have any idea what he did to her?

Amy's head fell forward as Sheldon's thumbs dug into a knot at the base of her neck. "That feels good," she sighed, her eyes closing involuntarily, jumping a little when she felt his breath on her ear. He was so close, she could feel the heat radiating off his body.

"Tell me again where I should apply pressure." _Oh, if only!_ she thought. He remembered everything. She shouldn't have to remind him. Amy found she needed to clear her throat, and her voice came out huskier than usual.

"Follow the line of my shoulder blade," she said, praying she wouldn't release a "hoo!" as she felt his hands glide over her back. The massage felt glorious and Amy could feel herself turning to a helpless puddle under his fingers. Every part of her seemed to be warring for dominance. Her stomach was quivering, nervous he was going to stop or bring her to new heights. The throbbing between her legs was intensifying and she didn't know how much longer she would be able to hold out before she forced herself on him.

Amy was certain Sheldon was clueless as to his affect on her, and wished with all her might his hands would slip a bit and brush the sides of her breasts. It was all she could do to control her breathing because she knew without a doubt, the moment Sheldon suspected the calming back rub had turned erotic, he'd drop his hands as if she'd burned him.

He moved his caress up her neck until his fingers were working their way into her hair and he was massaging her scalp. This time she couldn't help the noise that escaped. She was so aroused, Amy was sure even Sheldon could sense it. Still, he hadn't pulled back and she felt as if she would explode at any moment.

She was so close, it would take next to nothing to send her over the edge—and to send Sheldon running for the shower to rinse the feel of her from his hands.

"Amy," he whispered, his lips brushing the edge of her ear, "Are you feeling better?" _If only he knew how much better!_ She couldn't take it anymore. Penny's words kept echoing in her mind: _Take a chance. Let him know what you want. _Whipping around, she took Sheldon by the shoulders, pushing him back against the arm of the sofa. Before she was even aware of what she was doing, Amy's lips were on his, kissing him deeply. Suddenly, she realized what she'd she'd done and jumped off him, mortified to have invaded his personal space without permission.

Amy stood looking down at him, blinking in shock. She couldn't believe she'd lost control like that! Surely he was so repulsed he would never come near her again! Tears were flowing as she mumbled some useless apology, racing to her room to hide from him and the memory of his stunned expression.

xxxxxx

Sheldon lay on the couch staring at the ceiling. _What just happened?_ One moment he was giving Amy a back rub and the next she'd forced him back against the sofa, delivering a kiss that left his lips tingling. Following his first impulse, he leapt from the couch to rinse his mouth with Listerene. Stumbling over the coffee table, Sheldon ran to the bathroom, praying he wasn't already too late. He was twitching by the time he grabbed the bottle, forgoing the small plastic cup he had resting over the cap, and taking a large swig. Swishing the liquid around his mouth, Sheldon relished the burn of the alcohol, assuring him germs were being mitigated.

Exhaling through his nose, he spit the first dose into the sink, and prepared another round, this time using the cup. After expelling the third rinse, Sheldon looked up, breathing hard, catching his reflection in the mirror. He didn't look any different, other than a little startled, he realized. _Why had she done that?_ He wondered. _They'd been getting along so well!_

His mother hadn't stayed beyond a second night, and since that time he and Amy had settled into a comfortable routine where he knew what to expect. Now she'd gone and upset everything! What if she started kissing him on a regular basis for no reason, just as she had moments ago? Did he need to keep a travel-sized bottle of mouthwash on him at all times?

Sheldon continued to stare into the mirror, as if his answers could be found there. _Well, you are a handsome devil, Cooper. It's no wonder she can't keep her hands off you._ He smirked at his reflection, but the thought they would devolve into the sex-crazed maniacs their friends were had the blood draining from his face, leaving him feeling faint. That wasn't the worst of it. He was more than familiar with his thought processes and realized what he was trying to do by focusing on the foibles of his friends: distract himself from the fact he'd actually enjoyed touching her.

"Oh, God," Sheldon moaned, closing his eyes, burying his face in his hands as he dropped to sit on the closed lid of the toilet. It was no use. He couldn't forget. Not the way her hair felt sliding through his fingers. Not the sight of her neck as she'd leaned her head forward. He hadn't even noticed his hands moving to caress the skin where her shoulders met her neck in a graceful curve, how he felt as though he had no control over his fingers. How he was leaning in to press his lips to the tender skin and caught himself just in time, diverting his attention to brushing her ear, saying her name, asking if she was feeling better.

He hadn't expected her to kiss him. Pull away, thank him for the massage perhaps, but not press her lips to his without any indication of what she was about to do. As much as it upset him, it excited him in equal measure. And that was the problem. It had only been seconds, but Sheldon had taken in everything about her. How her hair fell in a curtain around their faces, her breasts, now fuller with pregnancy pushing into his chest. How soft her lips were on his. _If only there weren't so many germs_, he thought, he could have actually enjoyed it, and maybe even participated?

Sheldon jumped up from the toilet and began moving around the bathroom in spastic circles. _No! He was above all that! He was a Homo Novus! Emotions had no place in his life!_ _Physical touch_ hurt. _With the exception of his mother and Meemaw's touches. And maybe Pop Pop's contact when he was alive._

He'd never really put it together that it was about the time of his grandfather's death he'd stopped being comforted by Human touch. How whenever anyone had tried to place a comforting hand on him, it only reminded him of the pain he felt at his beloved grandfather's passing. Is that what he was trying to do? Keep Amy at a literal arm's distance so he wouldn't be hurt?

He didn't know what to do. Part of him thought he should check on Amy, and another wanted to get as far away as possible. How was he supposed to react to her behavior? The last time he'd felt this confused was after the night they'd. . . . He couldn't even put a name to it in his thoughts. Perhaps he could just award her a strike. He wouldn't even have to explain _why_ it was being assessed. From the way Amy had fled from the living room, she obviously knew she'd over stepped her bounds. _Why did things always have to change?_

Exiting the bathroom, Sheldon quick-stepped to his bedroom, fearing he'd run into Amy before he reached his sanctuary. He'd give anything to have Leonard in the next room. _This wouldn't have happened if Leonard still lived here_. Maybe he should go talk to Leonard, and ask him what he should do about Amy. They'd just spent the last several hours together, and even he understood the heated looks Penny and Leonard had been exchanging. Sheldon knew if he interrupted them, Leonard would be in no mood to help him figure out what to do about Amy.

Rajesh and Howard were also out. Raj would tell him to think of how Amy must be feeling, and Howard's advice would be to have sex with her as quickly and frequently as possible. Neither was an option. Lying back on his bed, Sheldon couldn't banish the memories of their encounter, so he decided to assess the data and figure out what had caused Amy to act in such an inappropriate manner.

Obviously this was Penny's fault. The two had been preparing dinner when Sheldon noticed they'd vanished from the kitchen. Actually, it was Leonard who'd noticed they'd gone missing, but once it was brought to his attention, Sheldon realized Leonard had been correct in his observation. It must have been during their absence Penny encouraged Amy to kiss him, because up until then she'd been the model roommate. She'd been respectful of his boundaries, made sure his meals were to his liking, and did what she could to keep his routine in tact. Penny was the one who always put ideas into Amy's head.

Exhaling, Sheldon felt himself start to relax. Now that he had an explanation, he could excuse Amy's behavior. He really didn't want to give her a strike. Penny was the one who deserved the strike. Looking over at his clock, Sheldon realized it was now way past his bedtime. In his turmoil, he hadn't given a thought about how late it had become. He needed to get ready for bed as quickly as possible to avoid any fallout from not achieving his full amount of REM sleep.

xxxxxx

The next thing Sheldon became aware of was the sound of muffled cries. Sitting up, rubbing tired eyes, he heard the noise again. It sounded like moaning, coming from Amy's room. _Was she hurt? Sick? What was going on? _Moving to slide his feet into slippers, Sheldon was reaching for his robe when he heard Amy clearly call out for someone or some _thing_ to leave her alone. Leaving the robe, Sheldon dashed into Amy's room without knocking only to see her fast asleep, tossing and turning and continuing to moan. Suddenly, one of her arms shot out from under the covers and she waved it around, defending herself from some unseen force.

"No! Stop!"

Sheldon stood frozen, unsure what to do. Penny had told him of Amy's night terrors, but she'd never said what he should do about them. Amy continued to thrash, kicking her legs, tangling them in her sheets. He still hadn't moved as he remained helplessly undecided about what action to take. Finally, he felt anger beginning to rise. Amy was disturbing his sleep. She'd destroyed his evening, and now she was disrupting his rest. Something had to be done.

Without a second thought, Sheldon strode to her bed, flinging covers off her. Her night gown had ridden up during her struggles, causing Sheldon to swallow at the sight of her bare legs. He could count on one hand the number of times he'd seen her naked limbs, and even though there was nothing erotic about their current situation, he couldn't help noticing the pleasing appearance of her legs.

Pulling down her night wear, Sheldon helped Amy into sitting up. "Amy, wake up," he said sternly. It took several moments for her to open her eyes, but she was unfocused.

"Wha. . . ? Sheldon? Is something wrong?" Her voice was gravely, and she blinked several times, trying to come to full consciousness.

"Yes, there is something wrong," he said, his voice still firm as he took her by the arms, helping her to stand. "You're having a night terror and you're disturbing my sleep." Sheldon began to propel her out the door when Amy suddenly stopped dead in her tracks.

"Where are we going?"

Pushing her forward once more, Sheldon said, "To my room. I can't be getting up at all hours of the night to make sure you're all right." Amy seemed to accept his logic and allowed herself to be led, unprotesting. He wasn't sure what prompted his actions, and for once he didn't want to analyze it. Having Amy where he could make sure she was safe made sense at the moment.

Sheldon turned back the covers, gently pushing Amy to sit on the edge of the bed, then helped her to lie down. She was looking up at him, still appearing to be confused by his behavior.

"Go to sleep," he ordered before rounding the bed and climbing in next to her, turning off the bedside lamp. They both lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling. Sheldon could tell Amy was now wide awake, as he was. He could practically feel the questions running through her mind, wondering what had prompted him to bring her into his room. Well, he'd told her. He needed his rest. Not that he was getting any, realizing how close she was to him.

_This was a bad idea_, he thought, wondering himself why he hadn't simply woken her and returned to his room alone. _She sounded so frightened_. He remembered what that was like, even if he no longer had the nightmares. How scared and alone he'd felt that first year of college. True, he'd begged his parents to let him continue his education at a level he was equal to, but that didn't mean it hadn't terrified him. Especially when his roommate and the boy's friends delighted in playing pranks on him. He was always afraid to go to sleep, never knowing if he was going to find himself bound and gagged in some closet, or naked in the girl's dormitory. He hadn't been able to truly sleep until six months after he'd been granted a single room.

Turning his head to look at Amy, Sheldon found she'd managed to move onto her side and sounded as if she'd gone back to sleep. He felt himself relax, grateful he didn't have to explain why she was in his bed. Especially when he didn't know himself.


	19. Chapter 19

**_19_**

Penny had put the last of her clothes into the washer when she heard a noise at the door. Looking up, she was surprised to see Sheldon with a laundry basket perched on his hip.

"Sheldon? Is it Saturday night already?"

Looking down his nose at her, Sheldon moved to an empty washer. "You know perfectly well it isn't."

Penny tried to bite back her grin, but she was unable to resist teasing him. "More sheets? Whatcha doin' up there in 4A?"

Sheldon stopped midway through loading the machine and gave her a long-suffering sigh. "You are well aware nothing is going on. I'm sure you and Amy discuss our bedroom activities _ad nauseum_."

"What's that about being nauseous?"

"_Ad nauseum," _he repeated. "From the Latin meaning 'to the point of seasickness.'"

"Yeah, thinking about you and Amy 'getting it on' does kinda make me a little sick," she admitted distractedly.

"Penny! I wish you wouldn't be so vulgar!" he cried, angrily thrusting the rest of his laundry into the washer.

Hopping up onto one of the dryers, Penny asked, "So, are we going with a Latin lesson today, Professor Cooper? Are you surprised I know the word 'vulgar' comes from the Latin 'vulgaris' meaning 'common' or 'of the common people?'" At Sheldon's tight-lipped grimace, she laughed. "Those college courses are starting to pay off."

Sheldon struggled for a retort, but in the end, remained silent, concentrating on adding the precise amount of laundry detergent to his machine. Looking up, he gave her a derisive shake of his head.

"Penny, the laundry facilities of this building are not here to serve as a place for you to lounge upon."

"Yeah, well, when they add a bench or some chairs, I'll stop 'lounging' on the dryers." Sheldon continued shaking his head as he placed quarters into the coin slots, inspecting each one before adding it. Now it was Penny's turn to shake her head. _What possible damn difference could it make which quarter he used?_ She was about to ask when he slid the tray home, activating the washer. Turning to see her expression, he explained before she could ask.

"I'm in the process of collecting all of the state quarters, and I didn't want to use one I'm missing." Penny simply nodded. She liked seeing what each state had chosen to represent their region, but that was the extent of her interest.

"So, Amy tells me the two of you are sleeping together now."

Sheldon's haughty look didn't abate as he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back against the washer he'd just loaded. "I assume you're referring to the fact we now share the same bed." Sheldon fidgeted under her scrutiny. "I'm not sure what she's led you to believe, but I assure you nothing has changed between Amy and myself. Yes, we share a bed, but that is all."

Swinging her legs hanging over the edge of the dryer, Penny continued to push him, relishing in his discomfort. She would only take it so far, knowing there was a fine line between teasing Sheldon and pissing him off to the point of retaliation.

"And when did you have this revelation?"

"Penny, you know the answer to your question or you wouldn't have that smirk on your face. Is that what attracts you to Leonard? That you're both masters at stating the obvious?"

Unwilling to be sidetracked by Sheldon's attempt to turn things around on her, Penny continued. "I think it's sweet you want to make sure Amy's okay. I'm just trying to figure out why you haven't sent her back to her room." Sheldon started fiddling with his laundry supplies, arranging them by size in the bottom of his basket.

"I can't risk her having another night terror," he said, refusing to look in her direction. "Having to get up and check on her wakes me enough that it takes precisely twenty point five minutes to return to a sufficient level of sleep to resume my REM cycle. At that rate I'd lose a total of one hundred forty-three point five minutes of sleep per week, and that isn't including unscheduled trips to the bathroom. I can't have that."

Penny didn't want to think about Sheldon's bathroom trips. "And having Amy in bed with you doesn't keep you from your precious REM sleep?"

"It isn't just _my_ REM sleep. Every higher creature requires a period of regeneration in which rapid eye movement signals a state of restoration is being accomplished."

"Sheldon! Stop avoiding the subject!"

"Did Amy put you up to this?"

"What? No! Although, she is pretty confused over this weird behavior of yours since you refuse to discuss it." It was true. While Amy was over the moon at Sheldon's invitation to return to his bedroom, it didn't mean she understood why he wanted her there when he did everything he could to avoid touching her. At least until he was unconscious and gravitated towards her. Amy woke most mornings in Sheldon's arms, only to have him jerk away the moment he was awake.

"I'm not sure what you mean," he said, poking a finger through the faux weave of the plastic laundry basket. He wouldn't meet her gaze, and that was more telling than anything.

Penny jumped off the dryer and moved closer to him. "Well, that you wrap yourself around her in your sleep, but still can barely touch her when you're awake. So, what the hell, Sheldon?"

Straightening up, Sheldon turned to face her. "What Amy and I do in the privacy of our bedroom is _none_ of your business!" Penny was hard pressed to keep a smile from her face. He'd referred to it as "our" bedroom. _Maybe there's some hope for you yet, Doctor Whack-a-doodle!_

"Maybe if you were actually _doing_ something, there would be a reason for you to get all indignant!"

Sheldon took a deep breath, momentarily closing his eyes. "Penny, I'm not sure what genetic pre-disposition causes women to feel the need to dissect every facet of a person's behavior, but there is nothing to explain. Amy has night terrors which keep us both from getting sleep. She doesn't have them when she's with me, therefore logically it makes the most sense for her to be with me, despite my aversion to sharing my bed. It is the lesser of two evils, as the idiom goes."

"However you need to spin it, Sheldon."

"'Spin it?'" he frowned. "I'm not spinning anything. The washer is spinning but. . ."

Now it was Penny's turn to take a calming breath. "I mean you have to find some way to justify wanting to sleep with Amy. Okay not 'sleep' as in have sex, but at least have her close by." Sheldon was looking away again, and Penny felt herself melt at his turmoil. Something as simple as admitting he was attracted to his wife seemed impossible for Sheldon, and Penny's heart ached for him.

"Sweetie, it's great you're getting more comfortable with each other."

Sheldon's face was scrunched. "Then why do you feel the need to ridicule me?"

"I'm not ridiculing you!" Penny cried, then realized it was exactly what she was doing—making Sheldon feel he and Amy's relationship needed to fit the conventional mold ninety-percent of the population adhered to. Just because it wasn't how she'd act didn't make it any less valid. It worked for them, for the most part, and that should be what mattered. Amy might be frustrated at the pace they were moving, but Penny thought Amy might find herself overwhelmed if their relationship _did_ move at a "normal" pace. For all her bravado, Amy was nearly as naïve as Sheldon.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon," Penny said quietly. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Sheldon shuffled from foot to foot, wrapping his hands around the edges of the laundry basket. "Well, you did. Amy and I are married so. . .grow up!"

Unable to help herself, Penny reached out and rubbed a hand down his arm, surprised when he didn't flinch away from her. _Maybe he _was_ getting better about touch?_ Suddenly, she wanted to change the subject.

"Hey, I was going out to get Leonard and me some pastries for breakfast. You want to come along?"

"Penny, there is a sign right there," he said, pointing towards the wall where a placard stated the management wasn't responsible for any lost articles and to not leave clothing unattended. He shook his head. "I can't leave my laundry."

Waving a dismissive hand, Penny tried to convince him it was okay to leave for a little while. "I leave mine all the time and nothing ever happens to it."

"You may 'live on the edge' but I do not. Besides, I doubt anyone would covet your wardrobe."

Penny crossed her arms over her chest. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just that most of the residents of this building would deem your clothes as inappropriate both for their size and personal lifestyles." Just as she was about to back down Sheldon added, "Except for the transvestite on three. He could probably fit into your things. If you're ever missing something, I would check with him first." Penny felt her mouth drop open at Sheldon's statement. He wasn't trying to be insulting or funny, and yet pretty much everything that came out of his mouth was either gibberish or inflammatory. _Oh, Amy. You lucky girl._

Blinking several times, Penny tried once again to steer the conversation to a safer topic. "So, have you guys discussed what you're going to do about a nursery?" Sheldon was moving around the laundry room, trying to find a place to relax. He tried leaning against the wall, but moments before he made contact, he noticed a stain running down the paint and jerked away. Penny watched in fascination as he surveyed the other surfaces, and almost gave a sigh of relief when he stopped and leaned a hip against one of the empty washers. He crossed his arms over his chest, probably in an effort not to touch things any more than necessary.

"You're right," he said, looking around the room again. "There needs to be a chair in here. Although, I suppose then I would have to wear my bus pants just to do laundry."

Penny snapped her fingers in front of Sheldon's eyes. "Focus! The nursery? Any thoughts?"

"I have lots of thoughts. For instance, do you know by judging the amount of dust accumulated on the top of the broken washer one could calculate how long it's been since this room was actually cleaned? Don't you find it odd that a room devoted to cleaning should be so filthy?"

"Sheldon! Why are you avoiding the question?"

He looked genuinely affronted. "I'm not avoiding the question, I simply posed one of my own. As for the nursery, no, we haven't discussed it," he said, poking a finger into the gap where the lid of the washer met the body of the machine. Penny watched the action and wondered why it was so difficult for him to hold still. Or answer a direct question.

"Don't you think you should?"

Looking up, Sheldon met her gaze and Penny knew some snarky answer was about to be tossed her way. She was surprised when she was wrong.

"I don't want to make too many plans. It could be bad luck." His voice was low, and he dropped his gaze back to the washer where he watched his finger running back and forth along the seam of the washer lid.

"Has the doctor said anything? Indicated there might be problems?" Suddenly, Penny was miffed at Amy. _After all the times I listened to her, she couldn't share what would be genuine news with her so-called bestie?_

"Oh, no," Sheldon was quick to correct her. "Statistically speaking, the chance of miscarriage after the first trimester is substantially lowered. Amy is healthy, and I'm making sure she's eating properly and getting a sufficient amount of exercise." This part she knew. On more than one occasion Amy had complained about Sheldon's "Hitler-esque" regimen where the baby was concerned.

"So what's the problem?"

Sheldon's face relaxed into a blank expression, then he looked embarrassed again. "I just don't want to jinx anything."

Now it was Penny's turn to be incredulous. "You, Doctor Sheldon Cooper, a man of science and facts, are buying into _superstition_?"

"I'm not buying anything," he said, once again taking her words at absolute face value. "And it never hurts to err on the side of caution."

"Whatever," she said, tired of the verbal merry-go-round he almost always subjected her to. "Look, I should get going. Leonard's going to think I've been kidnapped. You want me to get you anything?"

Sheldon seemed to be considering for a moment. "Naturally, I've already had my breakfast, but it might be a nice treat for Amy. Thank you for offering."

Again, Penny was shocked. Had Sheldon actually just _thanked her_? "No problem, Sweetie," she said, slightly dazed.

"She likes chocolate croissants."

"Yeah, I know." Penny was turning to leave when Sheldon stopped her.

"Penny, wait. Here." She turned around to see Sheldon pulling his wallet from his back pocket, taking out a ten, and holding it out to her. She just stared at the money, unable to process that Sheldon was actually going to pay for Amy's pastry.

He waggled the bill in front of her. "Aren't you going to take it?"

"Uh, yeah," she said, plucking the money from his outstretched hand, still in shock at the incongruity of his action. "Thanks. You want me to bring it here or take it to Amy?"

Sheldon's washer buzzed, signaling the end of the cycle. Concentrating on moving his wet sheets to the dryer, he said,

"You can give it to her. She might get some silly notion I was doing her a favor and get all emotional. I wouldn't like that."

Penny was shaking her head at him again, but with him concentrating on his task, he didn't see her. Amy may have wrought miracles in getting Sheldon to be polite and offer payment, but she still had a long way to go. _Maybe someday_, she hoped. Walking out of the laundry room door, Penny realized he'd never answered her question about the nursery. Amy was starting to show; they'd better start talking about it soon.


	20. Chapter 20

**_A/N:_ _Thank you so much for the continued reviews, follows and favorites. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!_**

**_20_**

Sheldon was in the kitchen, putting the last ingredients into the blender for Amy's morning energy drink, as she sat reading in the arm chair. Even though he knew the drink provided the ultimate in nutrition, he had to agree it looked loathsome, and privately congratulated Amy on being able to finish it each day. Just as he was pouring the mixture into a glass with a brightly colored straw running around the outside (the whimsical design making the drink more palatable, he reasoned), he heard Amy give a bit of a yelp.

Drink forgotten, Sheldon rushed over to her and was kneeling before her within seconds. "Amy? Are you all right?"

Amy's breaths were slightly shallow and she had a look on her face somewhere between wonder and confusion. Her hand was on her stomach, and Sheldon felt his own breathing hitch.

"What is it?!" he demanded.

"I think the baby kicked!" Before he could process the statement, Amy grasped his hand and placed it on her stomach. He was struggling to remove himself from her grip when suddenly, he felt it. A slight flutter under the palm of his hand.

"Fascinating!" he whispered, then louder, "Amazing!" Sheldon turned his gaze to Amy's and for long moments they just stared at each other, both holding their breaths until another movement caught their attention.

"Oh, Wow! That one was stronger! Sheldon! Did you feel it?"

"Yes!" he cried, smiling so wide his face was starting to ache. "Hello my little junior Homo Novus!"

Amy was grinning as much as he was, still holding his hand to her stomach. He was torn between the excitement he felt at feeling the baby and the need to escape her touch. _You can do this. It's no different than when you hold her hand._ Closing his eyes, he drew in a fortifying breath, and willed himself to calm down.

"Amy, maybe at your next ultrasound we should ask if it's a boy or a girl."

Amy was shaking her head. "I don't want to know. I want to be surprised when he or she is born."

"But how will we know what color to paint the nursery? Or how to address it? We _have_ to know the sex of the baby! We have to make plans!"

Sitting up straighter, Amy let go of his arm and he waited three seconds before removing his hand. Next time he would wait four seconds, that way he could gradually get used to the contact.

"Sheldon, we don't have to plan everything down to the 'nth' degree. We can paint the nursery yellow or green, thus preparing for either sex. Although, I would like it noted I feel a boy could have a pink room just as much as a girl could have a blue room. In this instance, we don't have to adhere to social convention."

It wasn't that he didn't agree with her, but he still wanted to know if the baby was a boy or a girl. He didn't want to think of his—their—child as an 'it.' "I still think it would be wise to know the gender of the baby," he persisted.

"Fine," Amy huffed. She pointed a finger at him, just shy of touching his chest. "You can ask Dr. Bennett but I don't want to know. And if our friends don't want to know, I don't want you telling them either!"

"What if they ask?"

"Then, you can tell them, but you better warn them I don't want to know!" Sheldon was still crouched next to the arm chair, staring at her angry face. Somehow, the magic of the moment seemed to have evaporated. Maybe he should have waited to tell her he wanted to know the sex of the baby. He should have realized she'd go all hippie on him and want to be surprised.

As a scientist, he would have thought she would have wanted all the information possible when it came to making decisions about altering Leonard's room into a nursery, but apparently her hormone-driven brain was incapable of rational thought.

"You should have your drink," he said, starting to stand, but just as he was getting to his feet, Amy pulled him down again, replacing his hand on her stomach. "Oh, goodness! That one was really strong!" All his earlier grumpiness vanished, replaced with awe.

Looking up at her, Sheldon asked, "Does it hurt?" Her face took on a contemplative expression, cocking her head to one side, and then the other.

"No."

"What does it feel like?" Why was she making him ask her everything? Usually she volunteered way more than he wanted or needed to know. It wasn't like anything she had to say was particularly interesting. Not like what he had to offer.

"I'm not sure I can describe it in terms you'd understand."

"I understand everything," he reminded her.

Amy's gaze hardened. "Very well. It feels kind of like a menstrual cramp, but not as painful. Does that help?" She'd raised her eyebrow daring him to say he could relate.

"Fine," he conceded, standing once more. "You're right that I don't know what that would be like. And I'm darn glad of it, too!" Amy smiled at him, happy to have won her challenge.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon, but as smart as you are, sometimes you don't know everything."

"Fine," he repeated, heading back to the kitchen to retrieve her drink. Sheldon put a napkin on the coffee table, placing the glass in the very center. "Now I want you to drink it all, Missy! No leaving a quarter of it in the bottom like you did last time."

"The straw doesn't reach to the bottom."

Sheldon sighed. "Then you can drink the last of it without the straw. I told you it's precisely measured for your body mass and the baby's. You need to consume it all to achieve optimum nutrition. Now, drink up!"

Following his instructions, Amy picked up the professional journal she'd been reading. Pleased she'd finally taken his direction without further argument, Sheldon began cleaning up the kitchen and preparing breakfast for himself. Watching Amy sipping her drink, Sheldon suddenly felt a wave of affection welling up inside him, and he stopped all movement, staring vacantly into the living room. His chest hurt and he had that funny little squirm in his stomach again which intensified when his thoughts flitted to the moment he and Amy had just shared.

He realized while he'd been aware of Amy carrying his child, it hadn't seemed quite real until a few moments ago when he experienced the baby's movement. He wondered if she felt the same way. There was another living being inside her that wasn't an alien! Their little benign overlord whose intelligence was likely to surpass both its parents. It would be a new dawn for humanity.

Just as suddenly, Sheldon's thoughts turned to the reality of that child. In a few short months there would be a dirty, squalling infant inhabiting the apartment. The thought of keeping germs from the child as well as keeping _himself_ away from the germs _of _the child would be a herculean task. Perhaps he should invest in a hazmat suit? It might be the only way to mitigate the disaster sure to accompany a baby.

"Sheldon? Are you all right?"

Swallowing and blinking several times, Sheldon looked down at the kitchen island he was standing over. The ingredients for Amy's drink were still strewn over the surface and he'd yet to begin starting his own breakfast. Checking his watch, he quickly calculated the amount of time he allotted for getting ready for work and the time required to make French toast. He wasn't going to make it. He would have to have cereal on French toast day! Just the latest in the string of horrors he'd had to suffer and the day had barely begun.

"Sheldon!" Amy repeated, this time her tone made him jump. Crossing to the kitchen, she eyed him with concern. "What's wrong?" He knew she wasn't referring to his breakfast dilemma, but he had no time, or desire to get into his growing concerns about the baby.

"I'm fine," he said, looking up at her trying his best to give her his koala face so she would stop questioning him.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she eyed him skeptically. "I don't believe that for one minute. What's bothering you? A moment ago you were happy when you felt the baby. What happened in the space of time it took for you to walk into the kitchen?"

Sheldon opened his mouth to speak, but found no words would come out. Amy hadn't done it on purpose, but her expanded bosom now rested on top of her crossed arms, and Sheldon found he was staring at her chest like an adolescent who'd recently discovered the ways girls were different from boys. Even _as _an adolescent he never exhibited this kind of behavior. His mouth had gone dry and his palms were sweating.

"I. . . ." he croaked, then gave a little cough, his voice still cracking. "I got distracted." It was all he was willing to say on the subject. "And now it's too late for French toast!" Amy looked at the clock and walked around the island, shooing him out of the kitchen.

"I'll make you breakfast. If Leonard arrives before you're finished you can take it with you on a paper plate."

"But, Amy. . . !" he started to protest as he felt her maneuvering him towards his bedroom.

"I'll take care of it. And don't worry. You'll be ready when Leonard comes." Sheldon hurried to gather his clothes. If nothing else happened to disrupt his routine, he might be ready by the time Amy set his breakfast before him.

He didn't like thinking about Amy and his mother being similar. He'd read more than one account of how men unconsciously went looking for their mothers when it came to women. In the first place, Amy and his mother looked nothing alike. In the second, he hadn't looked for a woman. Amy had been thrust upon him. But he did have to concede to one point: Mary Cooper had nothing on Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper when it came to manipulating him.

xxxxxx

Amy watched Sheldon scuttle down the hallway as she began cleaning. The drink that was her breakfast didn't taste half bad, she was just tired of having the same thing every morning. Sheldon may have his routine, but it wasn't the same thing day in and day out. Maybe next week she could make a bid for skipping the drink, claiming since it was "anything can happen Thursday" she could live on the edge and try scrambled eggs.

Gathering up what she needed for French toast, Amy mentally calculated how late _she_ was going to be in order to take care of Sheldon. She was tempted to make him eat cereal just to push the envelope of his comfort zone, but she knew having felt the baby move, he was already in a state of semi-shock. How could he not be when she herself was struggling with the sudden realization that they were actually going to have a baby!

"Penny! I have to call Penny!" Reaching for her phone with one hand and cracking eggs with the other, Amy was surprised to hear Leonard's voice on Penny's cell.

"Penny's phone," he mumbled into the mouthpiece.

"Leonard? Where's Penny?" There was the sound of rustling sheets and an exhalation of breath.

"She's right here. We had a late night." Amy heard a moan coming from what she assumed was the other side of the bed.

"Who is it?"

"Amy." More muffled noises as if Penny's face was now mashed into her pillow.

"Tell her I'll call her later."

"I heard that," Amy said, preempting Leonard. "Look, it sounds as if I woke you guys. Don't you have to go to work?"

"I called in. I'm sorry, Amy but I can't take Sheldon to work today. Any chance. . . .?"

Amy had the phone jammed between her shoulder and her ear as she added sugar, cinnamon and milk to the bowl of eggs. "Yes. I can take him," she sighed. She was already going to be hopelessly late so what was one more delay? She started whisking the ingredients, taking out her frustrations on the hapless eggs. "Sorry I woke you," she grumbled into the phone.

As she was hanging up, Amy distinctly heard the sounds of Penny and Leonard kissing, and it made her heart ache. Sure, she woke up most mornings with Sheldon, but there was never any lounging in bed, kissing and snuggling and drifting back to sleep. Suddenly filled with envy, Amy beat the eggs even harder, gritting her teeth so the tears threatening to fall didn't actually escape.

She needed to get her emotions under control. If Sheldon caught her struggling to regain her equilibrium, he would ask questions and she _would_ lose it. Or worse yet, he wouldn't notice she was upset and babble on about not making it to work in time.

Taking several deep breaths, Amy willed herself to calm down. "You knew what you were getting with Sheldon," she mumbled to herself, but that didn't seem to help. Just because she was aware of his issues didn't mean his ego-centric attitudes didn't hurt. Just then she felt another small kick from the baby and suddenly all her annoyance with Sheldon disappeared. Maybe she couldn't find physical affection with him, but the baby was a clean slate, as it were. She could lavish her attentions on her child.

Sheldon entered the living room fussing with his messenger bag. His attention focused on his task rather than her, and he didn't look up as he asked about his breakfast.

"Is my French toast ready?" She didn't answer, causing him to move his gaze to her. She hadn't even begun to fry the bread and she knew he was going to lecture her about her procrastination. She didn't care. The wonder of the flutters in her abdomen superseded any admonishment he was sure to direct towards her. "Amy? Are you all right? You haven't even started my breakfast."

Caressing her stomach, Amy found she could care less about getting Sheldon his food. She was going to have to take him to work, so for once, she could dictate his schedule. "It's still a little overwhelming," she said, gazing up at him. She watched Sheldon swallow and make an attempt to say something, but he couldn't seem to come up with anything. Finally, he straightened up.

"I need my breakfast. If you're unable to make it, please step aside and I'll do it myself." He started to push his way into the kitchen, bumping her hip with his own but she didn't budge. "Amy! What is wrong with you?"

"Leonard isn't going into work today. Apparently he and Penny had a late night."

"That doesn't answer my question!" Sheldon's voice rose in pitch as his anxiety about being late kicked into overdrive. "And I knew his moving in with her was a bad idea. She's corrupted him beyond belief." He tried once again to take the French toast mixture from her but Amy pulled the bowl out of his reach.

"I'll make your breakfast. I told you I would." Reaching for the bread, Amy dunked one slice at a time, placing it in the frying pan she had heating on the stove. She could hear Sheldon behind her pouring himself some juice, and didn't miss his disgruntled exhalations. She didn't want to fight about something as ridiculous as breakfast, but he wasn't making it easy.

"Sheldon, what do you say we call into work as well? I'm already going to be late, and you're likely to be, so why not? Let's take a day and, I don't know, go to the park or something. Maybe start making some plans about the baby. We really haven't, you know." Amy concentrated on flipping over the French toast, so it took her a moment to realize Sheldon hadn't spoken or moved. Looking over her shoulder, she saw him staring at her as if she had sprouted another head.

"What kind of pod person are you, and what have you done with my wife?" It still sent a thrill through her when he referred to her as being his wife, and she was distracted just long enough to ignore his question. "The Amy _I_ know would never pretend to be ill to skip out on work."

"I'm not talking about pretending to be sick. I've got a personal day coming and so do you. So, let's do it. Let's throw caution to the wind and spend the day together." Sheldon was still standing dumbstruck, clutching the strap on his bag until he started his flighty movements. She knew there was nothing about this morning he could take comfort in. Other than preparing her drink, nothing had gone according to plan. Amy knew it was difficult, but Sheldon needed practice in coping with unexpected changes. What was he going to do when the baby came along?

"I. . . .Um. . . ." They stood staring at each other until she smelled something burning. Giving a little gasp, Amy turned back to the stove, pulling the pan off the heat just in time. The bread was a little too dark for Sheldon, but she would eat it. As she started to put the toast on her plate, Sheldon took it from her.

"It's burnt. The carcinogens in over-done food aren't good for you."

"It's not that bad," Amy said, unwilling to waste the food. They started a bit of a tug-of-war over the plate, when she gave in. "Fine," she said, starting to prepare new bread. "So what about work?"

Sheldon took his glass of juice and went to sit in his spot. Amy was about to repeat her question when he looked up at her. His jaw was clenched and he looked like a petulant child, but he gave in. "Fine. I don't know where you've come up with all these hippy ideas lately, but for the record, I'm not happy about it!"

"So noted."

Pulling the strap of his bag over his head, Sheldon waved a hand in her general direction. "I just hope it's the result of all that goofy juice your ovaries keep squirting into your system and once the baby comes you'll return to the woman I used to know."

_I hope I never return to the woman you first met,_ Amy thought. That woman had been friendless and clueless. She would never have been looking forward to pending motherhood, or had a group of supportive friends, and certainly not a husband. She liked who she was now. For the most part.

xxxxxx

Sheldon was still upset over having been maneuvered into giving up a day of work just to walk around some dumb park. Once again, this was Penny's fault. If she hadn't enticed Leonard into a late night, his former roommate would have driven him to CalTech and he would be busy solving the questions of the Universe. Instead, he was being dragged around a nearby outdoor recreation area that encircled a playground where countless children ran amuck, being ignored by parents and caregivers alike. The screaming children were giving him a headache and it had only been mere minutes since they arrived.

Amy was perusing the area with a huge grin on her face, gaze darting everywhere as if there was going to be a test, and she was going to have to remember the location of every piece of playground equipment.

"Let's take a seat over there," she said pointing out a park bench on the periphery of the wood-chipped play area. Looking up, Sheldon noted there wasn't much shade.

"Can't we move away from some of this noise? And someplace that might offer us a respite from the abundant UVA and UVB rays?" Without warning, Amy grabbed his hand, pulling him down to the park bench. He didn't have on bus pants! Why hadn't she warned him he'd need bus pants?! He was so upset thinking about the pathogens freely roaming in this public, outdoor setting it was long minutes before he realized Amy still held his hand.

"Relax," she told him, still watching the action before them so intently he wondered if she would miss him if he left. "You have applied more than enough sunscreen. You'll be fine." He doubted that. Sheldon tried to extract his hand from hers but she held on, and from time to time would grip him even harder.

"Just think, in a few short months, this will be us!" She sounded excited, but Sheldon couldn't fathom why. He felt the life he'd come to rely on was slowly slipping away. Ticking down like the counter on a time bomb.

"Amy, this only illustrates how little time we have left!" She looked over at him, frowning. "In a matter of months, our lives will cease to be our own!" he wailed. She seemed to be processing his complaint.

"Yes, I suppose that's true," she said with a slight nod. Then she turned her attention back to the playground, watching a woman standing at the base of a slide. It was plastic, and not very high, but from a toddler's perspective it could be Everest. They watched in silence as a boy, probably about two, made his way to the top on chubby legs.

"Come on Sweetie! You can do it! Come to Mommy!" The woman stood with her arms outstretched, beckoning the child. Sheldon found he was rooting for the boy, remembering his own youth, and the pressure put upon him by his family to act like a "normal kid."

George Jr. would race for the monkey bars, climbing to the top before Sheldon had even been coaxed from the car. Missy too had happily clamored from the vehicle to get to the swings. It took a lot of cajoling on his mother's part to get him to leave the car and cross to the playground equipment. She'd tried to get him to go down the slide, but he didn't want to. The height bothered him, and he knew if he fell, his mass coupled with gravity would cause him to be injured, possibly even breaking a limb. Something Junior didn't take into account, obviously.

When he complained he would get dirty, he'd heard his father exclaim, "Oh, for Christ's sake!" and when his mother admonished him with a sharp "George!" Sheldon hadn't known if it was for the profanity, or his father's exasperation with his son. Probably both.

Shaken from his reverie, Sheldon watched as the boy scooted on his bottom towards the edge of the platform at the top of the slide. He didn't make an effort to go further and Sheldon found he was waiting as much as the woman for the child to descend. Looking over at Amy, he saw she too was silently encouraging the boy.

"It's okay. Momma's here," she said, wiggling her fingers as she gestured to the child. The boy still looked hesitant, then pushed off, sliding rather slowly down the incline, to be swooped up by his mother before he'd even reached the end. "You did it! What a big boy you are!" she enthused, swinging him around, causing the boy to erupt into giggles.

"Again!" he cried, struggling to get down. As soon as he was on the ground, he ran to the slide, climbing with more confidence and pushing off the minute he was at the top. Sheldon looked over at Amy who was now watching him. Suddenly feeling self-conscious at her scrutiny, Sheldon moved to leave, but Amy sat for a few more minutes as the woman tirelessly watched her offspring repeat the pattern of climb, slide, and run to the ladder. _Where does she find the patience? _He wondered. The only thing he had that kind of perseverance for was physics. Was this the kind of tedium they would have to tolerate when the baby came? Well, Amy could deal with it. He had more important things to attend to.

Amy was still watching him. "Aren't you even a little excited about the baby?"

He hadn't really stopped to think about it. He'd thought of the consequences, certainly, but not much of the good things. Like nurturing the next step in the evolution of mankind. Guiding a young mind from the start rather than trying to make them conform to what was considered "normal."

"There are some advantages," he agreed. "I don't know that I'm 'excited' per se," he told her honestly. "I get excited about new comic books. I get excited when an equation works out. If there's a new movie I've been waiting to see, that gets me excited. But if you're asking if I'm anticipating the arrival of the baby, I'd have to say no."

Amy looked devastated. Even he could read the emotions she displayed. Swallowing and blinking several times, Amy whispered,

"I see." She turned her back to him as she gathered her purse, but from behind, Sheldon noted her free hand was near her face. _Was she crying? He hadn't said anything that wasn't the truth. That shouldn't make her sad. _"Lets go home, Sheldon." They walked a few feet, and then she stopped. "On second thought, why don't you go home. I'm going to walk for awhile."

"Why don't you want to come home with me?" He didn't understand why, when she'd been trying to get him to do things with her all morning, she no longer wanted to be in his presence.

Closing her eyes, Amy took a deep breath. "Because I need some time alone."

"You can be alone at home," he argued. "You can go to your room."

"I don't know that I have a room."

Sheldon sighed and rolled his eyes. "Fine. You can go to the room the baby is going to occupy."

Amy still hadn't moved other than to cross her arms and thrust her hip out in a defiant stance. "_Is _that going to be the baby's room?" she asked. "We never talk about it."

"What is there to talk about? It's the extra room, therefore it's logical it will be the baby's."

Amy's posture hadn't softened. "So, you're going to continue to let me stay your room. In your bed." She was still locked in a rigid position, but her face blazed bright red and she wouldn't meet his gaze.

Sheldon felt his own cheeks warm, and gave a little cough. "I suppose so, yes."

Uncrossing her arms, Amy started to move forward and Sheldon joined her. She didn't speak, and he didn't know what to say, taking an extra step to come even with her. Finally, still walking, she turned to look at him.

"What about when the baby wakes up? You moved me into your room so your REM sleep wouldn't be disturbed. When one of us gets up, that's going to be a disruption."

Sheldon stopped walking. "I hadn't considered that. But you're right, of course." He gave her a dismissive wave of his hand. "You're the one who'll have to feed the baby, so naturally you'll be the one to get up and see to its needs."

"I haven't decided if I'm breast feeding or not. Even if I am, we can prepare bottles so you could feed the baby. And change it."

Sheldon recoiled in horror. "I can't do that!" he stated, feeling faint just talking about it.

Placing her hands on her hips, Amy faced him. "You can, and you will. I'm not raising this child alone!"

"But you told me the day you informed me of your pregnancy you _could_ do it all on your own, and with less trouble. Why suddenly do you need my help?"

Amy took a deep breath. "I said that because I was angry with you, and I wasn't thinking about what I was saying."

"Well, it isn't my fault you didn't consider the consequences of your words."

Dropping her hands from her hips, Amy stared at him. "Sheldon! You can't be serious that you're planning on having nothing to do with this baby!"

"Oh, I didn't say that." Amy's angry visage relaxed slightly. "Of course, when the child has reached a sufficient age, I will take over its education. You will continue providing the necessary maternal care, and the task of teaching the child required social graces will fall to you as well."

"So what you're saying is I can take care of all the mundane tasks while you step in from time to time to make sure its educational needs are being met."

Sheldon brightened. "Yes! I'm so glad we agreed on _something_ this morning." Amy stood before him, mouth hanging open. Finally, she shook her head and gave a weary sigh.

"Sheldon, I'm done arguing with you. Let's just go home." She began walking again, but Sheldon remained where he was. She turned around to see what the hold up was, and all he could do was stare back at her, trying to work out why she was upset with him. Her features softened at his confusion, and she took his hand to pull him forward. "So, how would you feel about Raj coming over later to talk about the nursery?"

"Why does Raj want to talk about the nursery? _We_ haven't even talked about it."

"That's the point. He texts me nearly every day asking if he can discuss colors and furnishings with us, well, me mostly I guess."

"It's my apartment! I don't want changes done without my say so!"

Amy's face had that wounded look again. "_Our_ apartment," she corrected. "And you can have your say. I just thought since you never want to talk about the future, you didn't have an opinion."

"Amy, I _always_ have an opinion." She must have forgotten how highly developed his sense of hearing was. Under her breath he heard her mutter,

"_Don't I know it._"


	21. Chapter 21

**_21_**

Sheldon heard a knock at the door. "That must be Raj," he said, looking up from his spot to Amy standing in the kitchen, preparing dinner. The knock came again. "Aren't you going to get that?" he asked.

"Sheldon, I'm up to my elbows in raw chicken, can't you answer the door?"

"The door didn't ask me a question," he said, still not moving. Shaking his head, he returned his attention to the magazine he was reading. "Yet another case of you not considering your words."

"Sheldon! Open the damn door!" He put the magazine down on the coffee table, sighing as he stood. When he opened the door, Sheldon was surprised to see not only Raj, but the rest of his social group standing in the hallway.

"Hello," he said cautiously. "I thought Raj was the only one coming over."

Howard pushed his way to the front of the group. "Well, he called us, all excited about finally getting to look at paint chips, and Bernie called Penny, so, here we are!" Sheldon looked over his shoulder at Amy who had a huge grin spreading across her face. Seeing her reaction, he decided this must be a good thing.

"We don't have enough chicken for everyone," he said, his hand still resting on the door knob.

Penny barged into the apartment. "We'll worry about food later."

"This from the woman who hasn't paid for a meal since I met her," He mumbled to himself. Stepping back, Sheldon opened the door wider. "Enter." The rest of his friends came streaming in, making themselves at home. The women immediately joined Amy in the kitchen, while Raj, Howard and Leonard took their customary seats in the living room. He couldn't make out the conversation in the kitchen, but he assumed it had to do with the baby since lately it seemed all anyone could talk about. He watched Amy as she moved towards the sink, washing her hands before greeting her friends.

"Sheldon?" Leonard was staring at him. Judging from the way his friend's eyebrows were crinkled, Leonard must have asked him a question he hadn't heard. "I asked if Amy took you to work today." He was still distracted, watching the women cluster around Amy, placing their hands on her stomach. She must have told them about feeling the baby move. He continued to watch, fascinated with their behavior. He wondered if all women got so "broody" or if it was just the women in his circle of friends. As if to answer his silent question, Raj jumped up, practically running to the kitchen.

"You felt the baby? Can I. . . .?" Raj's hand hovered over Amy's stomach.

"Sure, Raj," Amy consented with an indulgent smile, and gently, he touched her bump. Instantly, Sheldon felt a sharp pain in his solar plexis and didn't consider for one moment he might be sick. He knew the feeling all too well. Stuart had initiated it the first time, and now Raj caused it to return. He didn't like him touching Amy. She was _his_ wife!

Sheldon stalked into the kitchen, waving his arms, as if scattering a flock of birds. "Okay, that's enough, give the poor woman a chance to breathe!" Penny and Bernadette exchanged glances and moved out of the way, but Raj hadn't seemed to get the message despite Sheldon's exaggerated arm movements.

"I said unhand my wife!" Sheldon exclaimed, pulling Amy to him, out of Raj's reach.

"Dude, she said I could feel the baby! I wasn't going to hurt her!"

Sheldon still hadn't released Amy's hand but started fidgeting. "Yes. Well, now you have felt the baby, so. . . .show's over!"

"Actually, I haven't felt the baby," Raj pouted. I didn't get a chance."

"He or she will move again soon," Amy reassured him, patting his hand. "I'll make sure to let you know." Sheldon wanted to protest, but he supposed he was going to have to get used to members of his social group touching Amy inappropriately. As long as she wasn't offended, he would try not to be. Amy tugged on his hand, and rather than release her, Sheldon found he'd increased his grip. She was looking up at him with a mixture of confusion and warmth and he felt that funny little flutter in his stomach retuning. He certainly wasn't going to be inviting Raj to touch _him_.

"Sheldon, I need my hand to finish making dinner." Looking down at their clasped hands, Sheldon quickly released her, embarrassed to be holding onto her in front of so many people.

"I think we should just order some take-out," he said. "There's not enough for everyone anyway."

"Well, it would give me more time to discuss things with Raj if I didn't have to make dinner."

"That's not why I suggested it!" He was feeling backed into a corner. He couldn't rescind his offer of prepared food, but neither did he want to facilitate Raj and Amy spending time alone together. Amy pushed him further into the kitchen, partially blocking the view of them from their friends chatting and laughing in the living room.

"Sheldon, what is wrong with you? I thought you wanted Raj's help with the nursery since you weren't interested in converting the room."

"I. . .uh. . . ." he fumbled. "I didn't say I wasn't interested! I just don't find it as fascinating as you."

"Which is saying the same thing!" she hissed. Amy reached up, rubbing her forehead. "There's no need to be jealous, you know. Raj is just excited about the baby, and frankly, having a man _looking forward_ to having a child around feels good for a change."

Sheldon shifted from foot to foot. "Who said I was jealous? Jealousy is an emotion, and you know how I feel about those."

"Yes, and I also saw how you treated Rajesh." Amy turned and began cleaning up her prep work for their abandoned dinner. "If you had to start displaying some emotion, couldn't you start with something other than jealousy?" Again, Sheldon felt as though he wasn't catching what she was getting at. "Maybe you should see what people want to eat," Amy suggested. He felt as though he were being dismissed.

"Amy?"

There was a sigh. "Yes, Sheldon?"

"I'm sorry." Amy's eyes widened and she didn't speak for a moment.

"What are you sorry for? Do you even know _why_ you're apologizing?" Sheldon looked at her, then quickly looked away. She still seemed upset with him despite his apology.

"You're upset, therefore I must assume it's something I've done, since you've absolved Rajesh of any wrong-doing. So, I have concluded an apology was in order. Apparently you feel I've acted inappropriately." He still couldn't bring himself to look at her, so was startled to feel her hand on his arm. That caused him to meet her gaze and he found she looked weary. Had he caused that expression as well as her ire?

"Sheldon, it's okay. Just go join our friends while I clean up this raw meat before it becomes unsafe."

"You'll cook it to a proper 165 degrees when you prepare it, right? And within the expected time frame for defrosted poultry?" He didn't know how he'd ever let her talk him into that bacterial nightmare in the first place.

"Yes! Now go!" She shooed him out of the kitchen and Sheldon found himself, still confused, facing his friends.

"Although this is an unexpected inconvenience, since you are in our home, I find I must offer you sustenance."

"Sheldon!" Amy scolded from the kitchen. He did his best to smile. Howard just stared at him, aghast.

"If you'll stop 'smiling,' I promise we'll get something to eat on the way home."

"Screw that," Penny piped up. "I want Chinese and I want it on your dime," she said, pointing at Sheldon.

Sheldon felt his smile shifting to something more pleasant. "Interesting. Do you know where the phrase 'on your dime' comes from?"

"No!" everyone shouted in unison.

"And we don't want to know!" Leonard added. "Look, Sheldon, we'll all pitch in for dinner, right?" he said, looking around at the assembly. "Just like old times."

"And you'll pay for Penny, 'just like old times?'"

"Sheldon!" Penny huffed. "Leonard and I share expenses, but it's not like 'old times.'"

He cocked his head. "In what way is this different? Leonard has subsidized you since we've met."

"Okay, Sheldon, enough!" Amy joined them in the living room, massaging sanitizer into her hands. "We're ordering Chinese. The usual?" she asked, looking around the room. Heads bobbed and voices mumbled ascent as Amy began dialing.

Sitting down next to Howard, Sheldon wasn't engaged in the conversation around him. His attention was focused on Amy and what she was ordering, making sure she got his dinner right.

This unexpected gathering was a disaster. He'd hoped his routine could get back on track this evening, but with all his friends crowding the apartment on an unscheduled evening, he knew that was never going to happen. He looked up when he felt something nudge his leg. Penny's foot was tapping his knee.

"Stop that!" he snapped, but it only made her grin. Physically, Penny and Missy were nothing alike, but they both had a similar penchant for pestering him.

"What's up, Moon Pie? Why so glum, Chum?"

Sheldon's lips pressed together in a thin line. He crossed his arms and looked over at Howard. Even someone as dim as Penny should have gotten the message. Apparently she didn't.

"Sheldon," she said, genuine concern in her voice, "What's wrong?"

His arms remained crossed and he wouldn't meet her gaze. "Well, if you must know, I wasn't expecting to entertain half of Pasadena this evening."

"Big plans with the missus?"

Sheldon's baleful glare seemed to have been wasted on her. "No, I was expecting Raj. Amy's been adamant about him helping with the nursery."

"You don't sound very happy about that," Penny observed.

"I'm grateful for his assistance." He stopped there; he didn't need to be giving Penny any more ammunition against him.

"But. . . ."

He looked up, confused. "But what?"

"This isn't just about unexpected guests," she said, as if she were clairvoyant. "This is about Raj and Amy."

How did she do that? Zero in on what was bothering him as if he were made of glass and she could see straight into him. "I don't know what you're talking about." Sheldon looked away, afraid she would see his face start to twitch. He was surprised when he felt a hand on his arm.

"Sweetie, they're just friends. Surely you realize that?" He tried to squirm away from her touch, but Penny was having none of that. "He's excited about the baby and she needs that."

Sheldon found it rather ironic this was the second time today he was being lectured on his lack of paternal enthusiasm. Was it possible Amy and Penny were right and the baby _could_ be a good thing?

"Yes, well, he could be supportive without being so touchy-feely with her," he grumbled.

"She could use a bit of that too, you know," Penny hinted.

Sheldon sat up straighter. "She better not be getting _that_ from him!"

Penny shrugged. "Well, if she's not getting what she needs from you. . . ."

"Are you _trying _to get me upset?" he squeaked.

Sitting up straighter, Penny leaned in a bit, lowering her voice. "I'm just saying if she's not 'getting it at home' she might roam."

"Penny! That's absurd! Everyone knows Amy only has eyes for me!" Sheldon hadn't realized his voice had continued to raise in volume until everyone turned to stare at him.

"Exactly!" she crowed, pointing a finger at his chest, fortunately without actually touching him. "And _that's_ why you need to back off of Raj. He's not out to steal your woman." Sheldon swallowed, feeling his face warming as his friends continued to stared at him. Thankfully, Raj hadn't heard the exchange, but Howard would no doubt happily fill him in later.

"You're right," Sheldon said, rising off the couch, tugging on his shirts. "I should go and apologize to him." As he headed to the back of the apartment and Leonard's old room, he was sure he had fooled exactly no one. Coming around the corner, he heard Amy and Raj talking in low tones.

". . .and this would be the perfect color for the curtains!"

"I don't know," Amy hesitated. "I'm not sure if Sheldon would like that shade of yellow."

"Do you like it?"

"Well, yes, but. . ." Sheldon waited at the door, hoping to hear their secret love talk.

"But nothing," Raj insisted. "Do you think Sheldon gives a rodent's behind what the baby's room looks like?"

"I. . . ." Amy was seeming to be having difficulty in articulating herself, and it was rare she was at a loss for words.

"He doesn't," Raj insisted. "If he cared at all he'd be with us right now, throwing a wrench in the works." Sheldon didn't have to see the man's face to know he was giggling, but was surprised to hear Amy tittering as well. Is that how they saw him? His offers of wisdom being more of a hindrance than a help? Maybe he _should_ stay out of it. Truth be told, he really _could_ care less what color the crib was, but he wouldn't give them the satisfaction of being right.

Amy and Raj's heads jerked up at the sound of the door. They seemed to be surprised at his appearance, which gave him a slight amount of pleasure.

Crossing over to him, Amy's face now sported a huge grin. "Sheldon, come see what Raj has picked out!" She was bubbling over with joy and as much as he wanted to remain stoic, Raj's words echoed in his memory and he did his best to be effusive. He would prove the man wrong.

"What a lovely shade of yellow!" he said, almost feeling the words choking him. Normally he liked yellow, but not this insipid version. He must have been trying too hard to smile because now both Amy and Raj were staring at him, open mouthed with looks akin to revulsion. Perhaps he needed to dial it back a bit.

"I'm surprised you like it," Amy managed.

"Well, for a T-shirt, it wouldn't be an option, but for the space the baby will occupy, I'm given to understand pastels are the norm. As are the gender-neutral colors of yellow and green."

Amy continued to stare at him. "I told you I don't want to stick to convention when it comes to colors for the baby. I just thought this was a cheerier option." Sheldon looked at the cards with their gradients of color. The reds, blues, yellows and greens were arranged in fan shapes on Amy's desk. Rather than studying the shades, he found himself wondering what they were going to do with the desk when the baby came along.

"Sheldon?" he heard Raj ask. "Do you have an opinion?"

"I have lots of opinions." He saw Raj and Amy exchanging glances and wondered what that was about. Maybe Penny was wrong and Amy _was_ attracted to Raj. In which case he needed to make a decision so they could all return to the living room. No sense leaving them back here by themselves. Sheldon had a sudden vision of Raj kissing Amy and she returning his affection. A familiar feeling of panic was starting to overwhelm him and all he wanted was to leave the room, Amy by his side.

"You're right. The yellow is a good choice. Mathematically, these should be the three versions to work with," he said, pointing to the middle of three different chips. Raj nodded and bent back the paint cards so only one yellow was visible. Holding the various colors to different areas of the room.

"This can be for the walls," he said, holding up the darkest shade. "And this for the trim," he continued, placing the lightest shade near the window. "And this will be for the furniture," he announced, producing the middle color. "Brilliant choice, Sheldon."

"Naturally. Now that we've dispensed with this nonsense, could we have our dinner?" Amy still exhibited her wide grin, signaling to Sheldon she was happy, which in turn he found, made him happy. More and more he realized he was willing to compromise what he wanted just to see her smile. Obviously being married and living together was still a bad idea.


	22. Chapter 22

**_A/N: Yesterday's post was on the short side, so, bonus! Also, I've been anxious to post this chapter for everyone who feels Sheldon has been too, well, Sheldon. Thanks again for your thoughts in the reviews, and thank you for reading._**

**_22_**

Amy stood in the kitchen staring at the box of Rice Krispies. The required ingredients were lined up on the kitchen island, she had on disposable food handling gloves, and her hair tied back. She wondered for a moment if she shouldn't don safety goggles, but decided since none of the ingredients were toxic, protective eyewear would be overkill.

She'd cooked other foods before. In fact, she was becoming quite proficient in preparing all manner of chicken dishes, but baking seemed to elude her. She didn't understand why, when baking was essentially food chemistry, but therein lay the conundrum—the scientist who couldn't produce expected results in a domestic setting.

Technically, Rice Krispie treats weren't "baking" since they weren't put into the oven, but since the recipe yielded confectionized breakfast cereal, Amy felt it belonged in the dessert category, thus making it a "baked good." She melted the margarine and marshmallows according to the directions, using the mixture to coat the cereal, but Amy couldn't bring herself to try her first efforts because there seemed to be something wrong with her results. Could this really be what the manufacturer intended when they provided the recipe on the box? A sticky mass that despite plastic gloves clung to her hands like a living thing? She was relieved Sheldon had returned early from his comic book night with the guys and could advise her.

Sitting in his spot, absorbed in his latest purchases, it took several repetitions of his name before Sheldon looked up.

"Did you say something?"

Amy did her best not to sigh. "Yes. Could you come over here and tell me what I'm doing wrong?"

"Amy! I've got new comic books!" he whined, as if that was a viable excuse.

"I just need you to look at this and tell me what I did wrong." Amy watched as Sheldon made a great show of marking his place in his current comic, stacking it on his neat pile. Ambling over to the kitchen island, he asked,

"Okay, what's so important that I couldn't finish the latest issue of the Fantastic Four?"

"Look at this," she said holding up the congealing mass. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing."

"What do you mean, nothing? I may never have eaten Rice Krispie bars, but I know they don't look like this." Rather than answer her, Sheldon asked a question of his own.

"Why are you making Rice Krispie treats?"

"Well, it's a mom thing to do." He looked quizzically at her. "If television commercials show us slices of everyday American life, then as a mother, I'm going to be expected to make these with my children, or in our case, child."

"Interesting conclusion," he said."And as a child yourself, you didn't make these with your mother or consume them?" he asked, and Amy shook her head. "So why then do you feel it's a task you'll have to perform with our child?"

Amy tried to peel the globs of cereal and marshmallow from her hands. "I've told you I didn't have a conventional childhood, and I hope to rectify that with our child. I would think you could empathize with my situation."

Sheldon nodded. "To a degree. My mother and Meemaw cooked extensively. It's how I learned the craft. Rice Krispie treats were among the first things I learned to make."

"See? Not only can you tell me where I failed, but you're proof it is a vital part of parent-child bonding."

"In the first place, it'll be years before our offspring will be capable of helping in their manufacture, and second, you just haven't finished the process. You're supposed to press the cereal into a pan."

"I tried, but it wouldn't come off my hands!"

Exasperated, Sheldon grabbed the pan Amy had on the counter and placed it in front of her. Reaching over, he began scraping marshmallow coated cereal off her hands with a spatula into the baking utensil.

"Now press that down into the pan, and you're done," he said. "When they've cooled off, you cut them up. Really, Amy, a Ph.D and you can't fathom cereal bars?"

"I told you I can't bake!" she snapped, embarrassed.

"It's not baking. It's melting and stirring," he said, surprisingly not returning to his comic book once the cereal was pressed into the pan. They stayed like that for long minutes staring at each other when he finally added, "So, you've never eaten a Rice Krispie bar?"

Chuckling, Amy stripped off the gloves and began to move dirty dishes to the sink. "No. The kids at school had them, but my mother thought there was too much sugar, so I haven't ever had one. Frankly, after making them, any curiosity I had has been thoroughly vanquished."

Sheldon took a knife and cut a rough square out of the pan. "Then you _have_ to try one. After all, how will you know if it's something you should be looking forward to experiencing with our chid?" He held out the bar to her, but Amy shook her head.

"No, thank you. I'll take your word for it." Sheldon's face quirked into a devilish smirk.

"Come on. Just try a bite. You don't know what you've been missing. . . ." At his cajoling, Amy found she was fighting back her own grin. He could be so cute sometimes.

"Thank you, but I'm not interested," she said, backing out of the kitchen, surprised when he pursued her.

"Come here, Amy," he teased, continuing to stalk her. She let out a giggle, running around the sofa, but he circled from the other side. She screeched when he reached her and darted away before he could force the cereal bar on her. Sheldon was openly laughing as he tried to corner her, but Amy slipped back into the kitchen, keeping the island between the two of them. She was laughing now too. How absurd was it he was going to force her eat a Rice Krispie bar?

Sheldon had corralled Amy, backing her up against the kitchen island. She was still laughing at his antics, mostly because he was serious about getting her to sample the Rice Krispie bar. He was having a tough time keeping a stern expression on his face and it made Amy giggle all the more.

"Just one taste and I'll let you go," he said, holding the chunk of cereal bar in front of her. His left arm was stationed on the counter near her right, while he held her in place by pressing his leg on her left hip. Due to his height, Sheldon's pelvis was practically pressed into her stomach. Amy couldn't prevent the slight shudder that went through her. It was rare he was ever this close to her. Even when she woke with Sheldon holding her, he was always at her back and she couldn't see the expression on his face.

"Why would I want that?" she asked, her voice husky with emotion. Sheldon looked confused, as if escape should be her ultimate goal.

"Just try this, then I can go back to my comics," he said, starting to sound irritated.

Amy shifted slightly so she was in full contact with him. "No." Gazing up at him, Amy saw Sheldon swallow, all traces of former mirth evaporated. His gaze flicked to her mouth, then to her eyes, and back to her lips again. She couldn't help licking those lips in anticipation of his kiss, but it didn't come. Sheldon continued to stare at her, as if waging a war with himself.

Amy had barely blinked, afraid if she did so Sheldon would wake from his frozen state and step away from her. She wasn't going to allow that. Nor was she going to initiate the kiss she wanted so badly. He had to be the one to kiss her, even if she had to tell him what he needed to do.

She didn't have to. Moving almost imperceptibly closer, Sheldon whispered, "Amy" just before he leaned in and gently kissed her. Amy's neurons exploded and localized vascular throbbing was making her knees go week. She wanted him so badly, it was taking all her willpower not to hook her fingers into the belt loops of his pants and pull him closer. She needed so much more, but this was Sheldon. She had to let him make the moves or he would never touch her again. Hadn't his own mother likened him to a skittish fawn?

Amy's face was upturned, but she hadn't moved anymore than that, offering herself to him, hoping she wouldn't be rejected. She felt his fingers slide into her hair, his thumb brushing her cheek. "Amy," he said again, her name almost a sigh. Sheldon bent his head, kissing her again. His lips remained closed, but he lingered, far longer than Amy had expected. It would take so little to open her mouth to him, to flick her tongue against his full bottom lip that drove her crazy, but she didn't dare. She knew it would push him beyond his limits. She'd be satisfied with what he was able to give.

They broke apart, and Amy discovered not only was Sheldon slowly opening his eyes, looking slightly dazed, but somewhere during their exchange, her hand had drifted to the nape of his neck, where it rested still. He continued to stare at her lips, as if analyzing what they looked like in comparison to what they felt like. She too shifted her gaze from his eyes to his lips, wanting nothing more than to feel them on hers once more.

Just when she thought she was going to get her wish, Sheldon reached up, gently pulling her hand from his neck. He didn't release her hand, but held it loosely in his own. Some how the Rice Krispie bar had remained in his right hand, but was distorted, as if he'd been gripping it. Depositing the sticky mess onto the counter, he stepped away, releasing her hand.

"I think I need a minute," he croaked. Amy simply nodded, feeling a bit overwhelmed herself. Turning back around to the counter, she proceeded to wipe down the already clean surface. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Sheldon retreating to his room, comic books clutched to his chest. She hoped he wouldn't be gone long. She didn't want him dwelling on what happened before they could talk. The longer he was absent, the more he'd twist things around to make this her fault. Maybe even give her a strike for enticing him. She chuckled.

"That'll be the day." She picked up the discarded glob of cereal, and was about to toss it out when she looked at it again. She liked marshmallows on the rare occasion she'd had them. She liked Rice Krispies. Therefore, she should like the combination, she reasoned. Taking the tiniest of nibbles, she tried a bite of the misshapen bar. _Not bad_, she thought. Still, she was glad she hadn't tried it until now. Her resistance had definitely earned her a far sweeter reward.

xxxxxx

Sheldon leaned back against his bedroom door, hearing the reassuring click of the latch. He didn't lock it; there was no need. He knew Amy would allow him this time to regroup. And he definitely needed to analyze their exchange. Placing the comics on his bed, Sheldon realized his hand was sticky from the cereal bar. He should go to the bathroom to wash it, but he wasn't ready to emerge just yet. Moving to his dresser, he retrieved the emergency pack of wipes he had stored there, and cleaned the residue from his fingers.

For a few moments he just stood there, staring sightlessly into what could still be classified as his sanctuary. Amy might share his bed, but it continued to be his room, despite evidence to the contrary. True, they'd had to move some of her things with the construction of a nursery, but he maintained it was still his space.

The real problem, however, was that he liked kissing Amy. Closing his eyes and sinking to the bed, Sheldon remembered every nuance of their kisses. He wanted to be indignant. He wanted to be able to blame her, but Sheldon knew he was the one who kissed her. Just as finding himself wrapped around Amy nearly every morning was his doing. He hadn't gotten sick from his unconscious touching of her, therefore _consciously_ touching her should produce the same results. If today's events were any indication, she would welcome any experimentation he wanted to implement.

More physical contact would make Amy happy. Could the same be said of him? After a few nightmare-free nights, why hadn't he sent Amy back to her room? Why had he insisted many of her things be moved in here? He didn't know, or rather, he didn't want to know. He didn't want to change, but that's what his association with Amy had always been about. Whether by guile or sledgehammer, she had reshaped his world. He just needed to decide if it was a better world.

Sheldon sighed, picking up his comics and neatly stacking them. He stood, placing them on top of the dresser he now shared with Amy. He wanted to read them. He was _itching_ to read them, but they would have to wait. As much as he wanted to avoid discussing about what happened, he and Amy needed to talk.

xxxxxx

Amy looked up at the sound of Sheldon's door opening. Taking a deep breath, she tried to prepare herself to be blamed for the incident that caused him to run. He was walking slowly, eyes downcast, sans comic books. That surprised her. She was sure after reprimanding her, he would return his attention to his juvenal pastime and more or less ignore her.

Shoulders hunched, Sheldon looked up at her sheepishly. "Hello." It seemed an odd greeting when minutes ago the two of them had been kissing.

"Hello," she returned, somewhat cautiously.

"I think we should talk."

Amy's head bobbed. "Agreed." She gestured towards the sofa. "Shall we have a seat?" Sheldon nodded, heading for his spot. "I'll make some tea," she offered. Sheldon nodded again and took his seat, hands clasped between his knees. Amy kept sneaking glances at him trying to judge his mood, but Sheldon was giving nothing away.

The water seemed to be taking forever to boil, and the longer the silence stretched between them, the more tense she became. They both were going to need camomile as their beverage for the upcoming exchange. Fixing both their mugs, Amy sucked in a fortifying breath, knowing she had to remain resolute and not allow Sheldon to bully her into apologizing for something she hadn't done. Striding to the sofa, Amy held out the blue mug which he accepted with both hands.

"Thank you," he said, still not looking up at her, and Amy was wondering what could be so awful he couldn't turn his gaze to her. Taking a sip of her tea and sitting next to him, Amy decided if they were going to have this conversation, she was the one who was going to have to start it.

"Sheldon, I. . ." before she could finish, he interrupted her.

"Amy, I'm sorry, but may I go first?" Surprised he didn't have to be badgered or tricked, Amy stared at him with widening eyes.

"Yes, of course."

"Thank you," he repeated. It was the second time he'd offered the polite words, and it was confusing her. Sheldon usually assumed it was his right as a superior intellect to by-pass being considerate. He was taking time to choose his words, and Amy realized he hadn't really thought about what he was going to say to her. That in itself was telling. Sheldon always considered his words when he wanted to make a point. Frankly, she was amazed he hadn't typed out a speech.

"About what happened earlier," he began, face flushing. "I'm not certain what came over me."

_Please don't take it back or apologize_, she thought. When there was another stretch of silence, Amy thought she was going to have to take up the gauntlet.

"I shouldn't have just come at you like that. Without warning."

Amy blinked. "Sheldon, spontaneous expressions of affection are kind of what being married is all about. Being turned on, suddenly swept away on the tide of emotion."

"You know I'm not like that! Perhaps if we'd discus-" Amy cut off his explanation by pressing her lips against his. Maybe if the words weren't getting through, her actions would.

Sheldon was struggling to push her away. "Amy! Stop that! This is just the kind of-" She kissed him again, letting her lips linger on his. He was still struggling against her, but she wasn't about to give up. Somehow she'd ended up pushing him back into the arm of the sofa, and lying fully on top of him. Her bump was pressed into his stomach and as she felt the baby move, she could tell the moment Sheldon felt the movement as well. His eyes opened so wide she was sure he was going to panic, push her off with his superior strength. But that didn't happen. He froze, holding his breath, as if waiting for the next flutter. It happened again as a fist or a foot thrust out, and he exhaled, her name on his lips.

"Amy!" he breathed. "That was amazing!" The shock and surprise on his face turned to a look of wonder, then to something more serious. Amy was staring into his eyes and she watched as they turned darker, his face more intent. Sheldon's hand was in her hair, caressing the base of her skull, pulling her in for another kiss. He didn't stop at pressing his lips against hers. Feeling the tip of his tongue against her lips, Amy opened her mouth in shock, and was overwhelmed when she felt his tongue sweep into her mouth to tangle with her own.

Sheldon was kissing her. _Really_ kissing her and Amy felt faint. This wouldn't last. She knew it wouldn't, so she took advantage of the moment, pouring everything she felt for him into their intimate duel. Breaking away, Sheldon gasped, taking in a great lungful of air before kissing her once more. After a few moments, his fervor began to wane, but the intense look was still in his eyes. Trying to catch his breath, he placed gentle pecks against her lips. Lying her head on his chest, Amy could hear Sheldon's heart pounding as the fingers of one hand wound themselves into her hair, letting the strands fall through his digits. The other hand was on the small of her back, rubbing small circles as he pulled her even more closely.

"This is what I'm talking about!" he complained when he had breath enough to speak. "I see you, feel the baby and something comes over me like an alien infestation!"

"That's not a bad thing," she said, smiling into the jersey cloth covering his chest, relishing the feel of Sheldon's hand on her back. Any minute now he was going to put her aside and she was determined to enjoy the ride while it lasted.

"I feel like a pod person," he moaned. "Unable to control my actions."

Amy leaned up slightly, staring at his distressed features. "You really are bothered by this, aren't you?" Sheldon struggled to sit up, and Amy relented, moving off, giving him his space.

"I just told you I'm like a man possessed, and you ask me if I'm bothered? Amy, how much clearer can I make it?!"

Unable to hide her grin, Amy reveled in her new-found power over Sheldon. He found her irresistible! "Sheldon, this is _normal_, well at least normal by most people's standards."

"Amy, you better than anyone know we're not most people. Our superior brains alone. . ."

"Are part of the problem. Don't you remember when I told you people whose intellect isn't as great might actually be better at processing emotions? So, in a way, you conquering some of your fears is even a more monumental task."

"I'm not sure what you mean."

Amy lay her head back down on his chest. "Well, for you to reach this point, you had to work twice as hard." She knew catering to his ego would seal the deal. Sheldon's heart was still beating faster than normal, but was beginning to slow. Amy placed her hand lightly on the side of his neck, feeling the strong beat of his pulse. "Are you okay with this? Me lying here?" She felt Sheldon swallow and nod his head. It wasn't long before she felt Sheldon's fingers stroking her hair and it felt glorious. She wanted to inch her way up his chest and capture his lips once more, but she would bide her time. Just to be lying on the couch, splayed across Sheldon's prone body was more than she could have hoped for when she'd woke this morning. She hadn't even realized she'd begun to doze off until she felt his hand gently nudging her.

"Amy," he whispered. "Why don't you go lie down."

"Don. .wan. .too," she mumbled, snuggling into him once more.

"I'm getting a cramp in my arm and my neck hurts." It took a few moments for the words to sink in, but when they did, Amy sat up, blinking drowsily at him.

"I'm sorry," she said, brushing fingers over gritty eyes. "For falling asleep on you," she clarified. "Maybe I will go to bed early." Sheldon sat next to her, nodding, shy and silent once more. Just before she stood, Amy gathered her courage and leaned over to give Sheldon a quick kiss. "Good night," she said, hurrying off to the privacy of their bedroom. Hopefully, she could stay awake long enough to revel in the memories of her evening.

It felt like it was late the next time she woke. Amy hadn't bothered to check the clock; it didn't really matter. Sheldon was being careful not to wake her, but the jostling of the mattress as he crawled under the covers was inevitable. She'd wait for him to stretch out straight, pulling the blankets up to his chin and exhale before she'd even attempt to return to sleep. That's when she was shocked into full wakefulness. Rather than his death-like pose, Amy felt Sheldon roll over onto his side, the position she often found him in when she woke. She too lay on her side, hands tucked up under her chin, holding her breath as she waited for his next move. It took a moment, but Amy felt Sheldon's arm reach across her left side with glacial slowness. Just as slowly, he placed his splayed hand over her stomach, resting on the baby.

Overcome, Amy bit her lip in an effort to keep silent and keep the tears threatening to fall at bay. Pressing her eyes shut, it was all she could do to keep her breathing even. Very quietly, almost imperceptibly, she heard Sheldon whisper,

"Good night, Amy." She pretended to slumber on as three words echoed through her mind in a continual mantra: _I love you. _One day_,_ she thought, she would be able to say the words aloud.


	23. Chapter 23

**_23_**

Checking his mirrors, Leonard looked over his left shoulder before pulling out from the curb. When there was a break in traffic, he moved smoothly onto the street. He kept sneaking looks at Sheldon because his often morose ex-roommate was practically glowing this morning. If he was anyone else, Leonard would have suspected a night of spectacular sex had put that satisfied look on his face. But this was Sheldon. That notion was ridiculous. Still, the secret smile he was sporting was driving Leonard insane with curiosity.

"Okay, Sheldon, what gives?"

Sheldon's lips curved up into yet another secret smile as he traced the dashboard with his index finger. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Oh, don't play dumb with me!" he said, taking his eyes off the road long enough to glance at the man next to him.

Sheldon turned to focus his attention on his friend. "Leonard," he sighed. "I couldn't be dumb if I tried."

He wasn't going to let Sheldon get away with it. Even though Sheldon was a master at turning things around, Leonard wasn't ready to let him off the hook so easily. "Something happened between yesterday and this morning. You weren't unhappy when we returned from the comic book store, but you certainly weren't giddy like you are now."

Sheldon was staring at him with his familiar look of derision. "Really, Leonard? 'Giddy'?"

Turning right, Leonard flicked his gaze to his friend who had now focused his attention out the window. "Well, you're right. Maybe 'giddy' is a bit too strong. How about 'exuberant'?"

"I'll settle for 'content'," he said.

Leonard was grinning now. "Okay, so what has you so _extremely_ content this morning?" It was a long moment before Sheldon sighed, still looking out the window, pensive.

"It's Amy." He turned around as much as his seatbelt allowed, and Leonard was shocked to see Sheldon looking away from the windshield to stare at him. He usually got car sick if he did that. "She's making me happy again."

Leonard's eyebrows raised. "Yeah, that sucks." he glanced into the rearview mirror and then over at Sheldon. "And yet you're smiling."

Sheldon was suppressing another grin, but not looking at him. "Yes. She made Rice Krispie treats."

The segue was odd, even for Sheldon. "Rice Krispie treats made you this happy? If I'd known this was how to get you in a good mood I would have made them years ago."

"Well, I certainly wouldn't have appreciated the turn of events if _you_ had made them," he said. Now Leonard was even more confused.

"I feel like I'm missing something."

"I kissed Amy." Leonard nearly crashed into the car in front of them. He waited for the rant, about how Amy had tricked him, or how his inattentiveness was going to get them both killed, but all he added was, "And then she kissed me back. And then later, she kissed me again, and I kissed her again. I kind of lost track who was kissing whom."

Totally at a loss for words, Leonard just stared out the windshield, not really registering where he was driving. Finally, he said the first thing that came to mind. "You're right. It's a good thing I never made cereal bars." Silence stretched between them until Leonard added, "Sooooo. You liked it, huh?"

Sheldon's thoughts appeared to be drawn inward. "It _was_ awfully slippery," he observed. "I didn't remember that from. . .from the other time," he said, cheeks suffusing with more color than Leonard had ever witnessed. "I suppose it was the alcohol from that night. Much of it is a blur." They'd never talked about the night Sheldon and Amy had slept together, and truthfully, Leonard didn't want to now. He knew the act hadn't been repeated and that was good enough for him.

Leonard shrugged. "I guess it can be. But you kissed her more than once, so you must have liked it, right?"

Turning back around to stare out the window once more, Sheldon confessed, "Yes, I did. Married for just over three months and she's already turned me into a Hippie. What's next? Declaring my love on bended knee?" He shook his head, but the smile hadn't completely left.

Leonard was grinning too. He was happy for Sheldon. And for Amy. Probably more for Amy. She'd wanted some show of affection from Sheldon for so long that for him to make the move to kiss _her_ rather than the other way around had to have her over the moon. Maybe he should warn Penny that Amy was likely to be descending on her at any time.

"I'm happy for you, Buddy."

Sheldon was squirming around again, causing Leonard to wonder what was next. "That's not all," he confessed. "I held her while she slept."

"That's nothing new, Penny's told. . . ." he trailed off, forgetting Sheldon didn't know Amy had told Penny of Sheldon's sleeping behavior.

Instantly suspicious, Sheldon turned on him. "Penny told you what?" His voice rose to a higher pitch, as Sheldon questioned him. Suddenly, Leonard was very interested in watching the road. "What did Penny tell you?" he asked again, this time louder and even higher.

"Nothing. Nothing! Amy _might_ have mentioned something about how she wakes up and you're. . . .closer than when you went to sleep. And Penny _might_ have said something to me. . . ."

Sheldon's good mood had evaporated. "I _knew_ she couldn't keep a secret! Penny _promised_ me she wasn't going to say anything to you."

"Wait, you knew she knew?"

"We discussed it. Of course I wouldn't have had to if Amy had kept her big mouth shut. And now Penny's even larger mouth has passed it on to you." Sheldon shook his head. "There is no such thing as privacy."

Leonard pulled into CalTech's parking lot, but made no move to get out of the car. Sheldon, on the other hand, had unbuckled his seat belt and was reaching for his bag.

"Just a minute. Sheldon, you can't just drop this!"

Sheldon's hand was on the door handle. "I believe I can."

"Just wait a minute!" Leonard cried. "Please, I need to understand why you would tell Penny something about your intimacy with Amy but you wouldn't tell me?"

"You really wanted to know?" The incredulity in his voice served to clue Leonard in to how unusual this conversation had become. "Leonard, you and I have never engaged in what I'm told is referred to as 'locker room talk.' I don't care about your exploits with Penny."

"And I really _really_ don't want the gory details on what happens with you and Amy."

Sheldon turned to him with a frown on his face. "Then I don't understand. What is it you want from me?"

"I guess. . . . I guess it just hurt a little that you would go to Penny before you would come to me."

Thinking for a moment, Sheldon answered. "If you had been in the laundry room questioning me as Penny had, I suppose I would have told you I wake up most mornings wrapped around Amy, holding her close. But since you weren't in the laundry room questioning me, I didn't feel it was relevant to tell you."

Sheldon was correct, of course. At the very least it would have been an uncomfortable conversation. "You're right," he said, his fingers beginning to twist around each other as the awkwardness of the situation continued to ratchet.

"But just so you don't feel as though I'm leaving you out, as Amy will no doubt go on endlessly to Penny, I slept with my hand on Amy's stomach. On purpose." With that, Sheldon exited the car, leaving Leonard speechless.

xxxxxx

Penny heard the tone of an incoming text and rolled over with a groan. _Who was texting her at this godawful hour?_ Seconds later there was another. Then another. Roaring with frustration, Penny threw off her blankets and got up to retrieve her phone from the dresser. Two from Amy, and one from Leonard. Both knew she did _not_ do mornings, so what the hell?

The first from Amy was so chirpy it set her mood back even further. **_Morning, Bestie! I need to talk. Any chance we can do lunch?_** Penny was prepared to decline, then thought better of it. She would need to eat, and Amy wasn't likely to let whatever it was go, so she decided it was in her best interest to meet her.

The second text was from Leonard: **_Heads up. S and A had a big night. Love you Babe. _**"You're too late," Penny said to her silent phone. "And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" she asked, still speaking aloud to an empty room. It was chilly standing in her bedroom, so Penny crawled back under the covers as she read Amy's second message. **_Sheldon kissed me! Please tell me you can meet me for lunch!_**

Rolling her eyes, Penny wondered if she'd somehow time traveled and she was back in high school, with her best friend gushing over some boy she'd seen in the library. That brought her up short. _Time travel? She'd been hanging with these geeks too long._ Smiling, and shaking her head, Penny answered: **_Sure. Meet you at Rinaldi's at 12:30. Bernadette?_**

**_I'll let her know! Later, Bestie!_**

Penny switched off her phone, tossing it on the bed. If she was going to have to deal with Amy, she was going to need all the sleep she could get.

xxxxxx

Crossing the parking lot, Penny noticed Bernie's empty car in the lot, and figured her friends were inside. Glancing at her phone, she saw she was a few minutes late, but it wasn't like she was meeting up with Sheldon. Her friends were a lot more forgiving. At least she thought that until she spotted Amy and Bernadette waiting by the hostess stand. Amy was rocking back and forth slightly, clutching the strap of her purse, and Bernie just looked tense.

"Hi guys! Sorry I'm late, but you know, traffic," Penny said, with a wave of her hand. Amy simply nodded, accepting the excuse, but Bernadette was all ready in a mood.

"Let's get a table! Howie was a real pain this morning and Mamma needs a drink!" Penny and Amy exchanged looks, and while Amy would be drinking something caffeine and alcohol free, Penny was glad to have someone to share some wine with.

Once they were seated, Penny tried to steer the conversation back to something less volatile "So, how are you feeling, Amy?"

Amy's hand smoothed over her slightly protruding stomach. "Quite well, actually. No more nausea, but unfortunately that means an increase in appetite. I believe I'll be having a salad." She waited a beat then added, "It's nice to have a choice for a change. Sheldon has taken it upon himself to dictate my diet."

Bernadette took a sip of her water. "And you let him get away with that? If Howie ever tried to tell me what to eat. . ."

"Okay," Penny said, casting a glance at Bernie, hoping to calm her rant before she could get _really_ worked up. "Enough stalling. What happened with you and Sheldon?!"

"Yeah, you sounded so excited in your text!" It amazed Penny how quickly Bernadette's voice could turn from a growl into sweet. Actually, it could be kind of scary how fast her moods could swing. Amy was glowing, looking as if she was about to burst.

"It was so romantic!" Amy gushed, leaning forward and lowering her voice. "I was making Rice Krispie treats, and. . ."

"Wait a second," Bernadette interrupted. "You mean the cereal bars? That sticky mess that turns kids into sugar-crazed monsters? Is that what happened? Sheldon got too much sugar?"

Amy was scowling. "No, that is not what happened, if you'll allow me to finish." Bernadette flashed a look at her and Penny thought her drinking buddy actually looked repentant.

"Sorry," Bernadette said, smoothing her napkin over her lap. "Please continue, Amy."

Taking a sip of her water, tossing her hair over her shoulder, it took Amy a moment to return to her former exuberance. "At any rate, I was trying to make Rice Krispie bars, because that's what moms do, and I was having trouble with them. I asked Sheldon for help, which he provided, then I revealed I had never tasted the iconic childhood confection."

"What? Never?" Bernadette's mouth hung open with disbelief. "How do you get through childhood without eating a Rice Krispie bar?"

Amy turned to look at Penny. "I keep encountering this phenomenon of incredulity. Do you also feel my not having tasted a Rice Krispie treat being akin to having remained a virgin into my thirties?"

Blinking several times, Penny wasn't sure how to answer her. "I. . .I don't think I'd put it in quite those terms." Penny felt her eyes widen as she looked to Bernadette, hoping for something to distract them from the uncomfortable topic.

"Sheldon seemed to have the same reaction," Amy informed them. "In fact, he made it his goal to get me to take a bite."

"How did he do that?" Bernadette asked.

Amy's face and tone were deadpan. "He began chasing me around the living room and kitchen."

A saucy grin graced Bernadette's face. "But you let him catch you, right?" Before Amy could answer, Penny was confirming she had.

"Oh, yeah."

Amy's brow puckered as she turned her gaze to Penny. "How did you know that?" Penny had just taken a large gulp of wine, giving her a few seconds to come up with an excuse. Swallowing, she played with the stem of her glass.

"Well, it's the logical conclusion, right? I mean you're so happy, and all."

Just then the waitress came to take their lunch order. None of them had taken the time to peruse the menu and Penny was about to ask their server to come back, when Amy and Bernadette said they needed to order to get back to work. Once everyone decided on salads as a quick entree, the three resumed their conversation.

"So, Sheldon caught you. . . ." Bernadette prompted.

"And he kissed me," she nearly whispered. "More than once."

Bernadette's expression softened. "Awe, Amy! That's wonderful!"

"But that's not the best part!" Amy said, the giant grin back on her face. Penny held her breath. Surely not. . . .

Flicking errant hair over her shoulder, Amy leaned into her friends again. "Later that evening, when we went to bed. . ."

"Yes?" This time it was Penny interrupting her, earning her the same scowl Bernadette had received.

"Sheldon slept with his arm over me. _And_ his hand on the baby. _On purpose,_" she added. Sitting back with a look of satisfaction, Amy shifted her gaze from one woman to the other. Suddenly realizing that was the end of her confession, Penny scrambled to find something to say.

"That's great, Ames! Isn't that great, Bernadette?"

"Um, yeah! Really. . . .sexy," she finished. Penny thought the smile would split Amy's face in two.

"I know, right?" Exchanging glances with Bernadette, Penny was almost glad Amy announced the need to use the restroom. The second she was out of range, Bernie turned to Penny.

"THAT was her big revelation? I mean at this rate they'll have sex for the second time when their kid graduates college!"

"Shhh!" Penny lowered her voice. "Okay, I know it isn't a big deal to us, but this is Sheldon and Amy! This is almost as big as her getting pregnant!"

Taking a drink from her wine, Bernadette started nodding. "Yeah, I'm still having a hard time wrapping my head around that. But, you're right, I suppose. It's just that I don't remember ever being that innocent. Even when I was twelve."

"It's kind of cute, though. Just think of it as training for when our kids go through puberty."

"_You're _thinking about having kids?" Bernadette's voice had risen to an even more impossible squeak. "I know you said living with Leonard has actually turned out for the best, but I didn't think you were interested in starting a family."

"Well, not right now, but maybe someday. . . . It's not such a far out idea as it once was."

"Howie and I thought we'd see how things work out with Baby Shamy before we talk seriously about it again. Kind of like if Sheldon and Amy can make it work, anyone can."

Penny pursed her lips. "You make a point. Oh, here comes Amy," she said, patting Bernadette on the leg in warning.

Amy picked up her napkin, sliding into the booth. "This baby might not be all that big yet, but it certainly delights in kicking my bladder."

"So, do you know the sex of the baby?" Bernadette asked. Their lunch arrived, and each woman went about prepping their meals before Amy answered.

"I would like to be surprised. Sheldon, however is insistent on knowing whether it's a boy or a girl."

Penny took a mouthful of salad greens. "Why's that?"

Amy took the time to stir more dressing into her salad before answering. "He feels he can't be adequately prepared if he doesn't know the sex of the baby."

"What's the big deal?" Bernadette wondered. "You've already started painting the nursery with all the usual colors, I would think you're ready for either sex."

Amy nodded. "And I would agree with you. I would like to be surprised, but Sheldon feels it's irresponsible ignoring information that's readily available."

"Irresponsible?" Penny questioned. "How is wanting to be surprised being irresponsible?"

Amy held her fork midway to her mouth as she contemplated her answer. "He always wants to know. If there's information available, he can't ignore it. Deliberately choosing not to know something goes against everything he is. It took me awhile to come to peace with this, but I think I have." Finishing her impromptu speech, Amy ate her suspended mouthful. Thinking about it, Penny knew Amy was right. Sheldon could _not _not know. It wasn't in his nature, as infuriating as that could be at times.

Bernadette pointed her fork in Amy's direction. "So, what are you guys doing about it?"

"We've decided that he can know, but I don't want him telling me. That includes innuendos, sly references, anything that would lead me to figuring out if it's a boy or a girl."

"Wow, that's going to be tough for him," Penny observed. "He can't keep anything to himself."

"Furthermore, I've told him if any of you want to know, he's free to tell you," she said. "But if you _don't_ want to know, the same rules apply: no hints or badgering."

Bernadette looked pensive. "I think I have to go with Sheldon on this one. If the information is out there, I kind of like to know." She took a bite. "Actually, I'm surprised you don't want to know, Amy."

Nodding, Amy seemed to agree with her. "Under most circumstances, I would, but not knowing in this case, seems to enhance the experience. And lets face it, Girls, this baby is likely to be a 'one shot wonder.'" Penny gazed at her friend who appeared to be taking what was probably the truth in stride.

"Amy. . . ." Penny began, but found she had no words of comfort to offer her. Sheldon was Sheldon and who knew that better than his wife?

"It'll be all right," Amy said, focused on her plate, pushing the lettuce this way and that, rather than taking another bite. Penny wasn't sure if Amy's statement was for the benefit of her table mates, or herself. Either way, some of the life had ebbed away from their conversation, and the rest of the meal was eaten with considerably less enthusiasm. For once, Penny was glad her friends were in a hurry to get back to their jobs.


	24. Chapter 24

**_24_**

Sheldon glanced into the living room, feeling a mixture of calm and excitement at the same time. His friends, and treasured acquaintance were gathered for a night of vintage video games, while the women threw Amy a baby shower in Penny and Leonard's apartment. Seeing Raj and Howard in their usual spots on the sofa, and Leonard half-lounging in the big arm chair filled him with a sense of peace. It was Friday night and routine had been restored. He closed his eyes, drawing in a long breath through his nose. He could almost forget about the chaos Amy and the baby had brought to his life. For a few short hours, life could be as it was.

Walking into the living room, balancing four bowls of snacks on his arms and in his hands, Sheldon announced each as he placed them on the coffee table.

"Okay, we've got your tortilla chips, your potato chips, canned nuts, and for Raj, Smart Pop popcorn." The last he set before Raj with a flourish.

"Thank you, Sheldon!" he exclaimed, reaching forward to take a handful of popcorn. "Impending fatherhood is bringing out a kinder, gentler side of you."

"Don't be ridiculous," Sheldon sneered. "I've always been this considerate."

Howard choked on his beer, wiping his mouth on his arm. "Yeah. Right." Sheldon glared at Howard, but pointed a finger at Raj.

"And that's the last I want to hear about babies and fatherhood, got that? For months all it's been is babies, babies, babies," he sing-songed. "Tonight is about the manly sport of video games!"

"Amen, Brother!" Howard proclaimed, holding up his bottle in salute.

"Okay," Raj agreed with a pout. "But after 10 p.m. can we talk about it?"

Turning to the man next to him, Howard looked flabbergasted. "You _really_ need to get rid of that estrogen patch. If you want to talk babies so much, why aren't you across the hall?"

Raj was still pouting. "It was a tough decision. I'm still not sure I made the right one."

"Well, feel free to wander over there any time you get the urge," Sheldon said with a shooing gesture, taking a seat in his spot. "It's a battle to the death over Super Mario Brothers on this side of the hall." He wiggled around, getting comfortable, all the while relishing the familiarity of Leonard to his left, and Howard to his right.

"I'm going to get something to drink," Leonard announced as he stood. "Can I get anyone anything?"

Raj drained the bottle in his hand, handing the empty to Leonard. "I'll take another Miller 64."

"Howard?"

"I'm good for now."

"Water." Sheldon stated, head down, concentrating on untangling controllers. On the periphery of his vision, he was aware of Leonard rummaging around in the refrigerator, and the _normalness_ of it gave him an immense feeling of satisfaction. That wasn't to say he wanted Amy gone. There were good things about his life with her as well, it just wasn't as ingrained in him as his life with Leonard.

"So, Sheldon," Leonard spoke from the kitchen as he opened beverages. "I thought your mom would come for the shower. Oops. Sorry. Didn't mean to bring up the 'B' word."

Looking up, Sheldon felt annoyed. Not five minutes and they were breaking the 'baby' rule. With a sigh, he conceded, "In this case, I'll forgive you since you were asking about my mother, and her relation to 'other activities.' To answer your question, she arrived a few hours ago and immediately went to your apartment to help Penny with decorations or some such nonsense. I don't know how you could have missed her. Your apartment is much smaller than this one."

"Tell me about it," Leonard muttered.

"Trouble in paradise?" Howard asked, instantly jumping on Leonard's moping.

"Things are fine. It's just a little crowded some times. My comic books alone take up half the closet. And her shoes. . .well, lets say there will never be enough space for them until we move into a two bedroom and they get a room of their own."

Raj was looking towards the door. "Penny didn't ask me to help with the decorations."

Turning his attention from Leonard to Raj, Howard snapped, "She probably didn't ask Mrs. Cooper, either. It's no doubt just some kind of unwritten rule that grandmothers-to-be have to have their hand in it."

"No," Sheldon stated, his head still down. "She asked my mother to help. Mom did it, but didn't want to."

"See?" Raj whined. "She purposely left me out!"

"For the love of God!" Howard cried, "Will you just go over there and let us play our games in peace?!"

Looking up, Sheldon added, "But if you do go over, send Penny back. We need a fourth. And let's face it. She kicks your patootie when it comes to video games."

"'Patootie'?" Leonard questioned, placing Sheldon's water on the coffee table before him.

"My mother is here."

Nodding as he sat, Leonard grimaced. "Got it."

Massaging his brow as if he had a headache, Raj added, "Penny is not going to leave her own party. Would she?" He asked Leonard, his voice sounding so hopeful. Sheldon just shook his head.

Leonard took a drink from his beer. "No, Raj, I don't think she will."

Holding up the two untangled controllers, Sheldon grinned in triumph. "Behold! I have achieved the Goal set before me!"

"Your quest is complete!" Leonard chimed in, reaching for his device. "Let's get ready to ruuuuuuumble!" Sheldon began passing out the rest of the controllers but Raj stood, waving his hand in refusal.

"I can't take it any more. I'm going next door to see what's going on."

Howard ran a hand over his face, sighing in exasperation. "Fine. But I don't want to hear about how we never get to hang out any more with just the guys."

"I hope they have those pastel almonds in nut cups!" he called, heading for the door.

"You're the only pastel nut I know," Howard grumbled. "And don't come back with a pocket full of tampon coupons from Baby Shower Poker if you want a ride home!"

Sheldon looked at Howard aghast. "They _do_ that? Play for coupons for feminine hygiene products?"

"Among other things," Howard confirmed, taking a handful of chips. "Bernie's been in a clipping frenzy this last week. From what I can tell, the theme of the shower dictates the type of coupons." Sheldon was baffled, but then he often was when it came to what others considered entertainment. Howard continued. "Since this is a baby shower, it's coupons for things like diapers, formula, etcetera. Bridal showers usually have household items."

"So they use the coupons as currency," Sheldon said. "Fascinating."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far," Howard added, dusting his hands off on the fabric of his jeans. "But Bernie takes it pretty seriously."

Getting up to insert the game cartridge, Leonard muttered something about Bernadette taking everything seriously. Sheldon found himself wondering how they could play a similar game. Maybe they could use the value of comic books.

"Howard, what happens with the coupons at the end of the game?"

"I think some keep them, others give them to the shower honoree. I don't know that most people have a need for baby food."

Sheldon was disappointed. "Oh. That won't do then."

"What won't do?" Leonard asked.

"Making up our own game," Sheldon sighed, pouting. "I thought maybe we could devise a game using the value of comic books as betting material, but if I have to actually give them away. . . ."

"That's the point," Leonard said. "To risk something of value."

"Hmmm," Sheldon hummed. "In that case, we could use Cooper Coupons because they have _infinite_ value." Leonard was staring at him with an expression Sheldon had come to realize was disbelief. "What? Am I wrong?"

"Yeah. You're wrong. Howard? Pass me Raj's popcorn." Leonard was dismissing him. This was _not_ one of the things he missed about his former roommate. His current roommate was much more considerate of him. Thinking of Amy, he hoped she was having a good time. She'd been so excited from the moment Penny informed her she and Bernadette were going to throw her a baby shower. She'd obsessed on what to wear, speculated on what party games they were going to play, to the point Sheldon didn't want to be in the same room with her. It was worse than her endless babbling about accent pieces for the baby's room.

"Sheldon?" He heard Howard's voice off to his right, and he had to give his head a slight shake to dislodge the image of an ecstatic Amy. "Are you ready? You kind of zoned out there."

Clearing his throat, Sheldon sat up straighter. "Yes. Of course. Let the games begin!" Just then Raj entered the apartment, causing Howard to sigh with exasperation.

"_Now_ what? Did you forget your lipstick?"

Raj collapsed onto the sofa. "They kicked me out."

Leonard looked over at Sheldon, eyebrows wrinkled. "Kicked you out? How come?"

"Some nonsense about no men allowed. Penny said they couldn't gripe about boyfriends and husbands if a man was there. She said it was girl's night on steroids."

"But you've hung out with them on a girl's night," Howard pointed out.

"I told Penny that, but she pushed me out the door anyway." Raj got up and went to the refrigerator, pulling out a beer. It wasn't a low-carb one, Sheldon noticed. Returning to the couch, he took the bowl of chips, nestling it into the space between the sofa arm and his hip. "Is there any chocolate here?"

"Would you just man up?!" Howard shouted, shoving the gaming device into his hand. "Now that you're here we can play teams. I call dibs on Leonard."

"What?!" Sheldon screeched. "Leonard and I _always_ play together!"

Howard was looking at the T.V., setting up the screen. "Well, the way I see it you and Raj have a bond over Amy so that should make you the perfect team mates."

Sheldon's irritation increased and he could feel his left eye begin to twitch. "What is that supposed to mean?"

Looking up, Howard shifted his gaze between Sheldon and Raj. "He's taking Lamaze with her because you dropped the ball, and you're married to her, so the way I see it, the three of you make a nice couple." On the periphery of his vision, Sheldon could see Leonard biting his lip in an effort to rein in his laughter.

"This isn't funny, you know!" Sheldon barked.

"Am I wrong?" Howard asked Leonard. "Tell me I'm wrong."

"He has a point, Sheldon," Leonard said, still trying to stifle his grin.

"Dude, I'm only trying to help a friend," Raj said, drinking nearly half his beer in one gulp. "You don't have to make it sound so dirty."

Up until that point Sheldon hadn't thought twice about how Rajesh taking Lamaze with Amy would seem. He was just grateful he hadn't been forced to spend his time in a room full of panting, grunting women. Amy made it clear she'd expected him to accompany her, but as he'd rightly pointed out to her, she was the one having the baby, not him, so he didn't see why he needed to be there.

Raj had been over working on the nursery and had overheard their argument. Ever the great equalizer, Raj offered to be Amy's coach, and Sheldon had been relieved. He didn't have to give up his nights to sit around practicing heavy breathing, and Raj appeared to be excited at the prospect. From Sheldon's perspective it was a win-win. He couldn't understand Amy's anger when she had a willing coach, but then there was often no pleasing her. Now that he'd gotten over his jealousy, Sheldon had been grateful to have some assistance.

In retrospect, perhaps he'd made a mistake in allowing Raj such freedom with his wife. Amy, he trusted implicitly, Raj, not so much. The self-proclaimed "dark man from the exotic sub-continent of India," could be quite persuasive when he wanted. What if he _had_ developed feelings for Amy? Not only did he, Sheldon, and Amy have a legal document from the State of California, they had an equally binding Marriage Agreement that in Sheldon's eyes carried more weight than some sanction from a governmental entity.

"I think we should take turns. Every man for himself," Sheldon said, glaring at Raj. Reaching around Howard, he pointed an accusing finger at him. "And just so there's no misunderstandings: she is _not_ for you!"

"You better listen, Raj," Leonard said, speaking around a mouthful of peanuts, "he delivers a mean shoulder chop."

xxxxxx

Amy sat in the center of Penny's sofa, grinning so much, her face hurt. Never before had she felt such an outpouring of love and goodwill. Even her wedding day when she definitely was the center of attention, was paling in comparison. Her friends, of course, had been at her wedding and quasi reception, but Penny's shower guests included women she barely knew! Co-workers from the Cheesecake factory Amy knew on sight, but had rarely spoken to were here giving her baby gifts!

As she opened presents, each one seemed more precious than the last. Tiny outfits met with "oohs" and "Awwws". Educational toys. Receiving blankets of varied hues. One was covered with cartoon giraffes and "Baby Shamy" embroidered on it from Penny and Leonard. Just in case Amy would be offended by the nickname, Penny had a second gift waiting—a voucher for a spa day once the baby was born. Amy hugged her bestie, tearing up at her thoughtfulness. Penny's eyes were watering as well, and it wasn't long before most of the women in the room were dabbing at their eyes. Mary Cooper was sitting on a chair adjacent to the sofa, and reached over, patting Penny on the knee.

"That was mighty sweet of you, Darlin'."

"Okay, enough of this emotional crap," Bernadette said from Amy's right, thrusting a package into into her hands. "Here. This is from Howie and me." Amy's mother, Anita, was on her opposite side, keeping track of gifts and their givers. She leaned forward as Amy undid the wrapping.

"Oh, Bernadette! It's perfect!" Holding up a red onesie emblazoned with a white circle and yellow lightening bolt, Amy showed the gathering. The reactions varied from chuckles to puzzled looks, most notably an artificial smile from her own mother.

"Well, now. Isn't that special?" The forced words made Amy look up.

"Sheldon's going to love it," Amy stated emphatically, folding the miniature one piece with reverence.

"Unfortunately there's a caveat," Bernadette said, cheeks pinking with embarrassment. "Howard made me promise to ask you if after the baby outgrows it, we could have it. That is if we _have_ kids," she was quick to add. Amy liked the idea, and was actually glad Howard had suggested it.

"I think it's a great idea. Whoever in our social group has an infant, gets the Flash outfit."

Penny was circulating the room, filling up wine and punch glasses. "What if more than one of us is pregnant at the same time?"

"I guess we'll get another one," Bernadette said, holding out her glass for more wine. "But I don't know that it's going to be an issue. I'm really in no hurry to start a family."

Sheldon's mother sat up straighter at that. "Why not? Children are a blessing from God."

Taking a healthy sip from her wine, Bernadette turned to Mary. "Only If they come with built-in care givers. Been there, done that, not looking forward to more."

Mary looked as though she was about to argue with Bernadette and Amy thought she needed to stop the confrontation before it began. "I believe Howard and Bernadette have several issues to overcome. Not the least of which is religious education."

"Is that really such an issue these days?" Anita asked.

"That's really not. . ." Bernadette began.

"Among some people, yes," Amy said, talking over Bernadette. "There was quite the kerfuffle before their wedding. I would think adding a child into the mix would only intensify those emotions."

Bernadette took a substantial gulp from her glass, making an effort to smile. "Thank you, Amy. Penny! Can I help you?" She was off the sofa before Penny could answer, and within seconds Mary moved to take her spot. Sandwiched between her mother and mother-in-law, Amy, too felt the urge to leave the sofa, but Anita gripped her arm.

"You know, Amy, we've never really talked about your plans for when the baby comes." Amy looked down at the restraining hand on her forearm, then back up at her mother. It was typical of Anita to literally hold her in place until she got an answer from her daughter. It was how Amy had finally agreed to the dating arrangement initially. Her mother had trapped her as she was trying to get to work, and wouldn't release her until she agreed. The George Foreman grill was the final temptation.

"I've put in for maternity leave, if that's what you mean."

Anita still hadn't released her. "Well, that's part of it. What about day care? Have you started applying to pre-schools?" Amy's mouth dropped open in surprise. Even Sheldon wasn't that far ahead in his planning.

"Mother, I haven't even finished with Lamaze, I don't think. . ."

"It's never too early to start thinking of the future. You _are_ going to want someone reliable to take care of your baby while you're at work."

"Excuse me, Anita, I don't mean to butt in, but what if Amy chooses to stay home with the baby? There's no higher calling than motherhood." Mary said.

"Mrs. Cooper," Anita began, patting down her hair, "Amy did not spend years on her education to change diapers. I can understand my daughter wanting to have a family, I just thought she'd be a little further along in her career when it happened."

"We don't often get to choose when our children come along," Mary said. Amy noticed her mother-in-law had moved in closer, and her own mother had leaned closer as well. The phrase "a rock and a hard place" never seemed so appropriate.

"Amy is a sensible girl. I doubt she would have engaged in," here she stopped and drew in a breath, "Inappropriate behavior, without coercion."

Mary took a deep breath of her own, and Amy recognized the action as one of her mother-in-law attempting control. She'd witnessed the action several times in Mary's interactions with Sheldon. "Mrs. Fowler, am I to understand that you think Sheldon is responsible for this?"

"Well, Amy hardly got pregnant on her own. And I happen to know they'd been engaging in certain 'activities' for some time."

Amy felt her mouth go dry as she glanced from her mother to Mary. "Really, Mrs. Cooper, it's not like how it sounds. . . . " Amy turned to her mother, This time it was Amy gripping her arm. "Mother, you know that was just Sheldon and I playing a joke on you!" she hissed, casting a look back at Mary, whose arms were now crossed over her chest.

"Well, I didn't find it very funny," she huffed.

"Would one of y'all like to catch me up, here?" Mary's eyebrows were raised as she stared intently at Amy. The expression looked so much like the one Sheldon often gave her, that Amy almost did a double take.

"Mrs. Cooper. . ." Amy began.

"And stop calling me 'Mrs. Cooper! I told you, it's 'Mary!'" she snapped. Amy must have looked frightened, she realized, because Mary was giving her shoulders a little hug. "Now I'm not angry with you," she assured, "But I would like to know what's going on. Have you and Sheldon been sinning all along?"

"'Sinning?'" Anita asked. "I'm not particularly proud of Amy's behavior, but I think 'sinning' is a bit harsh, don't you?"

Amy elbowed her way in between the two women."Mother, Mary, there's simply been a misunderstanding."

Mary nodded at Amy's bump. "That's a mighty big misunderstanding."

Nervously, Amy ran a hand over her expanded belly. "I can't deny Sheldon and I have had. . .relations, but it wasn't sinful," she said looking intently at Mary, "Or inappropriate," she added, looking over at her mother. "Sheldon and I had been dating for over three years. I shouldn't think this would come as much of a shock to you, Mother. You're the one who kept pushing me to date. Sex is often a consequence of dating. Perhaps you should have thought of that before you kept pushing me towards anything in pants!"

"I didn't mean you had to get in them!" Anita exclaimed. Turning back to Sheldon's mother, Amy tried to clarify.

"The incident my mother is referring to took place not long after I had met Sheldon. She had been badgering me. . . "

"I don't know that 'badgering. . .'"

Amy turned to Anita. "Mother, please?" She took a fortifying breath and returned her attention to Mary. "She'd been asking for some evidence I had actually met Sheldon and was in a relationship with him. At the time, we were boy-slash-friend-slash-girl-slash-friend, but when Sheldon agreed to Skype with my mother, he made it sound as if it were more."

"So, you told your mother you were. . .intimate," Mary clarified.

"Technically, it was Sheldon indicating we'd engaged in coitus, yes."

Anita flinched. "Oh, that word again!" Her mother looked rattled. "I didn't believe it of course," Anita added. "I was more shocked that this man would speak so graphically to a woman he'd never met, than worry they were actually doing the things he claimed."

Clearing her throat, Mary looked a bit embarrassed. "Yes, Shelly can be a bit, shall we say 'overzealous', when in comes to explanations."

"In any case, the purpose was to prove to my mother Sheldon did indeed exist and we were acquainted."

Amy hadn't really thought about it before, but it was around this time her feelings for Sheldon had begun to change. He'd gotten up from their Skype session, continuing on with his usual routine, as if nothing had happened. To him it was simply a prank he'd pulled off successfully. But Amy was beginning to see him in a different light. What _would_ it be like to exchange in sexual intercourse with him? Did he feel anything more for her than just someone to play Counter Factuals with? Someone to share a private joke with at someone else's expense? She'd been a bit overwhelmed to realize she _wanted_ something more with him. The concept of another being causing sexual arousal was something she'd never experienced, or, quite honestly, even contemplated. Somewhere in his exchange with her mother, Sheldon had gone from an acquaintance to an object of desire, and all she could think of was, what a scan of her brain would look like at this moment.

Amy was shaken from her reverie by Mary's chastisement. "I think you could have found a better way to introduce him."

Suddenly indignant, Amy sat taller and faced Mary head on. "True, Sheldon can be somewhat infantile, but I think he _has_ grown up recently. He's taking his role as a father somewhat seriously."

"'Somewhat seriously?' What is that supposed to mean?" Anita asked.

Amy flipped her hair over her shoulder, rocking slightly in her agitation. "He is very conscious of my nutritional needs, making sure I don't work too late and I get enough rest."

Anita's posture relaxed somewhat, but she still was sitting closer to Amy than she was comfortable with. "That's all well and good, Dear, but what about the Lamaze classes? Has he signed up with you?"

Amy couldn't help the glare she sent her mother. Anita knew full well Sheldon had backed out of his promise to participate in her birthing classes. The only reason Amy could see bringing for it up in front of Mary was to embarrass her with her son's behavior. _Now who's acting immature?_ she thought.

"I have a partner. You saw him earlier. His name is Rajesh Koothrappali and he's a good friend of Sheldon's and mine."

Mary was looking a little worried. "I understand your concern, Anita. I don't see preparing for the birth of your child a chore to be farmed out."

Amy was gazing back and forth between the two women again. She couldn't keep up. One moment they were at each other's throats, trying to cast the blame on the other woman's offspring, and the next they were ganging up on her for having Raj as her partner. While it was true she wanted Sheldon in the role, it didn't take Amy long to realize Sheldon couldn't be counted on when it was time for the baby to be born.

"Mary, you know Raj. You know what a sensitive man he is, and he's really excited about the baby. He's been a good partner." Amy hoped she sounded sincere, not trying to convince herself as well as the women before her.

"It's not very helpful when he can't talk to you," Mary returned. "Can he even touch you?"

"Didn't you know? He can talk to women now. After his break-up with Lucy, he seems to have cured himself."

"I'm not following," Anita said, turning to Mary. "He was talking just fine."

"He had some kind of third-world demon runnin' around inside him that kept him from talking to girls," Mary clarified. "The only true explanation must be he found Jesus, and I'm grateful. He really is a nice young man. He didn't deserve the trials life sent his way."

Anita stared at Mary open mouthed. "Surely you can't believe his issues stemmed from possession and he was cured by a mythical deity?"

Amy could see this quickly getting out of hand. Her atheist mother and the devout Mary Cooper wouldn't merely simmer as they interacted, they would explode. She wasn't going to allow them to destroy her moment in the sun.

"Mother, have you had a chance to try Penny's punch?" Amy asked, standing and trying to drag her parent away from her mother-in-law.

Mary placed her hand on Amy's arm. "Now there's no reason to separate us like unruly children. Your mother and I can be civil, despite our different views. Isn't that right, Anita?" Amy thought her mother looked anything but cooperative, noting the tight smile she sported. But she also knew Anita wouldn't allow anyone to best her. Amy had no doubt where her own competitive streak came from. She was an amateur compared to her mother.

"Mary's right of course, Dear," Anita replied, softening her grin. "You have other guests to talk to. We'll just be here getting better acquainted." Amy wasn't sure she wanted to leave the two women together, but her mother had a point. She needed to circulate and thank everyone for their thoughtful and practical gifts.

Amy was startled from her observation of the grandmothers-to-be by Bernadette.

"So, Amy. How are you enjoying the party?" Bernadette held a paper cup of punch in her hand, offering a second one to her. Taking the drink, Amy gracefully took a sip, relieved to have something to wet her parched throat. She still hadn't taken her eyes from her mother and Mary, but they seemed to be getting along so she allowed herself to be distracted by Bernadette.

"It's been wonderful," she smiled. "I can't thank you and Penny enough for doing this for me."

Taking a sip from her cup, Bernadette shook her head. "Don't thank me. Penny's the one who did most of the work. I just. . .'encouraged' some of the girls from the Cheesecake Factory to attend." Amy knew Bernie's brand of "encouragement," and hoped she hadn't threatened anyone with bodily harm. "I'm kind of surprised there isn't someone from your work here. Didn't you have anyone you wanted to invite?"

Amy tugged on her top. She'd been so excited for the need to wear maternity clothes. The day she was issued a larger lab coat had felt like a rite of passage. "I'm not that close to my co-workers. For some reason, most of my projects have been solo endeavors, though not by choice. I guess my experiments hold no interest for them." Amy took a deep breath. "Still, there are some advantages to working alone."

"Like what?"

Thinking for a moment, Amy tried to find reasons she enjoyed working on her own that wouldn't make her sound pathetic. Bernadette probably had never experienced the type of ostracization Amy had grown up with. Bernie might be an intellectual, but her perky demeanor had kept her from being an outcast.

"Well, for starters there's no power struggles or egos to appease when it's just myself. I also know what work has been completed and what tasks still need performing. I'm queen of my own little universe!" she grinned.

"But if you're working alone, who's going to take over when you have the baby?"

Amy refilled her cup from the pitcher Penny had on the kitchen island, offering more to Bernadette who shook her head. "I'm hoping to be finished with this phase of my study and come to a natural stopping point for the duration of my maternity leave. I will use my time off work to analyze the data and begin writing my paper."

"Wow, that's going to be pretty ambitious with an infant. I know for a fact how much time babies eat up."

Amy cocked her head at Bernadette. "How so? You've never had a child, have you?" Realizing how little she knew of her friend outside their social interactions, Amy wondered if there _had_ been a child at some point.

"Not my own!" Bernadette cried. "No, I mean my brothers and sisters. My mother was overwhelmed when it came to the lot of us. That's why I ended up taking care of most of my siblings. Which is also why I'm in no hurry to have kids of my own."

Amy wasn't sure if she should ask her next question. In the past she wouldn't have hesitated, but if her friends had taught her anything, it was to think before she spoke, that sometimes curiosity for curiosity's sake, wasn't always the best course of action.

"Although, I know Howard really wants us to start a family," she added, sparing Amy from asking controversial questions.

"And what do you think about that?" Amy asked.

Bernadette sighed. "I don't know," she said, casting her gaze downward to the empty paper cup she was twirling. Looking back up, she said, "I want to make Howie happy, but he's already enough of a child to take care of."

"Amen to that, Sister!" Amy said, grinning widely, touching her cup to Bernie's. Sobering, Amy leaned in to Bernadette. "I'll let you in on secret. I'm a little concerned about that myself. Sheldon says he'll be able to handle it when the baby comes, but I've seen no evidence he will be up to the task. For example, his handing off the Lamaze classes to Rajesh."

"Yeah, what's up with that? One minute he's jealous of the two of you being in the baby's room alone, and the next he's got you and Raj engaging in heavy breathing."

Amy swallowed and raised her head. "He thinks it's beneath him when his time could be better spent solving the mysteries of the Universe."

"More like watching some stupid space program or reading comic books," Bernadette mumbled to herself. But Amy heard her, and Bernie had expressed her own feelings. Sheldon could find infinite excuses for why what she wanted to do was a waste of time, but _his _interests were valuable. Going to _another_ train store? That was supposedly a privilege, where as birthing classes were hours misspent.

Amy wanted to change the subject. This party was to celebrate the upcoming birth of both Sheldon _and _Amy's baby and she didn't want to spend the rest of the evening being angry with him.

"I was led to believe baby-themed games were a part of this ritual, and yet the only evidence I've seen was a version of "musical chairs" where various sized gifts were passed around the circle of gathered women, and the music stopped each time the gift came to me. I don't mean to criticize your party planning skills, but that was really kind of lame."

Bernadette looked sheepish. "I told Penny we needed something a little more challenging, but she claimed after enough of her 'special' punch, no one would care about games."

Amy took a seat back on the sofa, pulling at her top once more. "Well, I beg to differ. I was promised a night of male-free frivolity and female bonding. I suggest we start with that version of poker you mentioned the other day."

"It's not really as much fun as I made it sound," Bernadette said.

"You didn't find a lot of baby coupons, did you?"

Bernadette took a seat next to her, looking sheepish. "I did, but Penny made me give her most of what I found."

Confused, Amy asked, "Why did she do that, and why did you comply?"

"Mostly she guilted me into it. I didn't have a lot of time to help her get your party together."

Amy reached over and gave Bernie's hand a squeeze. "It's been a wonderful party! Well, other than Penny having to throw Raj out. And my mother and Sheldon's going at it over whose child was to blame for my pregnancy. And Penny spilling punch all over her counter when she missed the pitcher. And the bit about Baby Shamy. Really, it's been great!"

Bernadette's grin was almost a grimace. "Yeah, I can see why you'd think it's been great." She made a move to take a drink from her cup, then realized it was empty. "All that talk about punch has made me thirsty again," she stood up. "I know I could use another shot. Or two. I'll be back."

Amy watched her walk away, releasing a contented sigh. Really, it had been a nice party, and she couldn't wait to show Sheldon all the gifts they and the baby had received.

_**A/N: The next chapter you'll have a choice. I'll be posting an "M" version of chapter 25 for those who would like a little more detail. The "T" version will be posted here. The more "mature" chapter is basically the same, but a little more graphic than I'd want my teen to read.**_

**_Thank you for your kind words and reviews. I hope you continue to enjoy the story!_**


	25. Chapter 25

**_A/N: Just a reminder-there is an "M" rated version of this chapter on the "mature" page._**

**_25_**

Sheldon heard the door open and sat up straighter. He hadn't realized he'd dozed off, but seeing he was lounging in his spot, he must have. Looking at his watch, he noticed it had been nearly two hours since the guys had departed. Leonard had left with Raj to crash on his sofa since the baby shower was still going strong when gaming night broke up.

Rubbing his eyes, Sheldon hoped it was Amy coming into the apartment and not some stranger. His mother had already informed him she would be staying at a hotel this time around as the extra room was now a nursery.

"Sheldon?" his name was a whisper.

"I'm here," he said, reaching up to turn on the lamp, giving his eyes another swipe in the process. He yawned and looked up at her. "Did you have a good time?" Amy was practically bursting with the smile she was sporting, and the sight of her so excited shifted something in his chest.

"It was wonderful! We played games, and talked and opened gifts, well, I did anyway. Wait until you see all the loot we got!" It was then he noticed the large bags she was carrying, spilling over with stuffed animals, and blankets and toys. He was on his feet in an instant, trying to relieve her of her burden. "No, that's okay. I've got it." He took the larger of the two despite her protests, placing it on the coffee table. "Did everyone go home already?" she asked.

"Yes. Howard has turned quite domestic and kept whining about how late it was getting. I think Raj's complaints weren't helping. He kept moping about not being invited to your shower."

"Well, no offense to Raj, but I'm glad Penny kicked him out."

Sheldon was confused. "I thought you liked it when he hung out with you all on girl's night."

"I do. But this was different. I wanted to be with just women. A baby shower is a traditional time of female bonding, talking about children and childbirth. It would have been strange to have him there."

"But he's your Lamaze coach," Sheldon pointed out. "He's going to be there when the baby is born, I would think it would have been beneficial for him to hear about the experience from other women."

Amy had crossed to the kitchen, filling the kettle, placing it on the stove. "It just would have been weird, okay?"

"Fine." Following her to the kitchen, Sheldon thought about her words. "Would it have been weird if I'd been there?"

Amy seemed to be contemplating for a moment, then said, "Yes."

"Interesting." Another stretch of silence. "Why?"

"Because it just would have been." Amy replied. "Besides, you're not going to be at the birth, and all the graphic descriptions would have made you sick."

Amy wasn't exactly angry, but he was perplexed. Was she mad because talk of all the squishy and bloody stuff_ did_ make him nauseous? He didn't want her upset. In fact, it was the last thing he wanted, for many reasons.

He'd been waiting for her to come home, not so he could witness the gifts, but so he could give her one of his own. Sheldon thought about when the best time to give it to her would be, and decided this night, which was all about Amy and the baby, would be perfect .

He was proud of himself for having found a token to give her that expressed what he couldn't say. She wanted him to be excited about the baby, and little by little he was becoming more accepting of the idea.

Sheldon had been walking from the bus stop when he'd seen it. He'd never even noticed there was a jewelers on Los Robles, and he must have passed the shop, unseeing, hundreds of times. The street lamps were just coming on and an object in the window caught the light, practically winking at him. Stepping closer, Sheldon saw it was a pendant, and he began to smile. It was exactly what he never knew he wanted, and Sheldon didn't hesitate a moment before entering the store to buy it.

Now the small, cardboard box rested in his pocket, as it had all evening, since he was unsure when Amy would be returning. Now she seemed anxious, and he was the cause.

"Amy," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders. She was standing with her back to him, facing the stove, and jumped when he made contact. Immediately, Sheldon dropped his hands.

"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed as she turned around. "I wasn't expecting you to touch me."

"I'm sorry, too. I should have let you know I was behind you." She was staring up at him, head slightly cocked, looking like she was trying to figure something out. Sheldon locked his gaze with hers, and for a moment they simply stared at each other. She had the oddest expression on her face, and for some reason, he found himself wanting to kiss her. More and more he caught himself battling with his attraction to her. Ever since the day she'd made Rice Krispie treats, it was if a dam had burst, all of his feelings breeching the banks, washing him away on a tide of emotion. He didn't know why he kept fighting. He knew Amy wouldn't object if he kissed her, she was always angling to get him to. Why was it so difficult for him to let go? Licking his lips, swallowing to try to relieve his suddenly dry throat, Sheldon all but whispered,

"I have something for you too." Now he could read her expression. She was surprised.

"You bought me a gift for the baby shower?"

"No, it isn't or rather wasn't for your shower or I would have wrapped it and sent it with my mother." Sheldon walked back over to the sofa and patted the spot next to him. "Come sit down." Amy was still eyeing him with caution and it was causing a nervous twisting in his stomach. _What if she doesn't like it?_ She'd just settled herself next to him when she jumped up.

"What _now_?" he sighed with exasperation. He'd gone over this moment so many times in his mind, he wanted it to be perfect. He hadn't counted on Amy bolting every time he tried to give her the gift.

"The kettle," she said, clicking the stove off. "The water was about to boil. As long as it's hot, would you still like some tea?"

Taking a deep inhale, Sheldon tried to find some patience. "Fine." In truth, he could use something to calm his nerves. He'd been so sure Amy would love the pendant when he'd seen it, but now he wasn't so sure. She didn't wear jewelry, other than the plain wedding band, and maybe she wouldn't like a necklace.

"Sheldon, what's wrong with you? You're so jumpy. Something happen at your gaming night?"

"No, it's not that," he said, accepting the mug Amy offered him. "Can we just sit down?"

"You're making me nervous," she confessed. "You're sure nothing's wrong? It's so unusual for you to have fallen asleep on the couch when you could have gone to bed."

Sheldon was looking down, fiddling with the tag on his tea bag. "Maybe I don't like it when you're not there." Peeking back up at her, Sheldon was surprised to see how moved Amy seemed. She was blinking back tears, biting her lip. "Well, I've gotten used to you being there, and you know how much I hate having a routine disrupted." Amy just nodded, taking a sip of her tea.

"What did you want to tell me?" Her voice was husky with unshed tears, and he found he needed to swallow in order to speak.

"As I said," he coughed, "I got you a gift as well." Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out the white box. It was obviously some kind of jewelry, and Amy's trembling fingers had gone to her lips.

"Oh, my." Looking up from his hands to his eyes, she whispered, "You bought me jewelry?" Sheldon simply nodded, handing her the box.

"I saw this the other day and thought of you. I. . .I hope you like it." Sheldon couldn't recall when he'd been so nervous. Normally, he would thoroughly map all possible reactions to be prepared for any outcome. This time, however, he just wasn't sure what she would do. He watched Amy's smallish fingers lifting the lid, and saw her freeze, the lid of the box in her right hand, the bottom in her left.

"Sheldon. . . ." she breathed, staring at the pendant nestled on a bed of cotton. He recalled how elegant the lines were and how he'd envisioned the thin silver chain gracing her neck. Amy pulled the necklace from the box and he gazed fondly at the three stylized figures that formed an asymmetrical heart.

"It's you, me and the baby," he explained when she still hadn't said anything. Her hands were shaking, and he took the necklace from her before she dropped it. "Would you like me to put it on you?" Amy continued to be speechless, but was nodding enthusiastically. She turned around, lifting her hair to aid him in clasping the delicate chain. Once hooked, Sheldon couldn't stop his fingers from playing along the curve of her neck. Her skin was so warm, that his hands felt cool against her. He heard her suck in a breath, but didn't remove his palms. Instead, he smoothed them over her shoulders, coming to rest on her upper arms. Amy twisted in his grasp, tears once more shining in her eyes.

"Do you like it?" He was still uncertain in the wake of her silence.

Amy's hand rested over the pendant, clasping it to her chest. "I love it," she croaked, no longer trying to rein in her tears. "I love you," she said, launching herself at him.

Sheldon should have been prepared for this particular reaction, but he wasn't, and again found himself knocked back against the arm of the sofa. When he felt the hard frame of the couch connecting with his lower back, he decided he needed to add another pillow for the next time Amy came flying at him. Then Amy's words began to seep into his consciousness. _I love you._ He wasn't sure how to process that when the rest of his cognizant brain was dealing with Amy pressed up against him, kissing him so hard he thought his jaw would crack.

"It's perfect, Sheldon," she murmured, running her hands over his chest. He'd started to push her away, but Amy was having none of it. He felt her tongue sweep across his bottom lip, and when he started to protest, he found her mouth on his again, tongue mingling with his own. For a moment he struggled against her, when a wave of _something_ seemed to crash over him. _It's like that night_, he thought briefly, remembering how everything had seemed so surreal. He'd blamed the alcohol, but now he realized it was Amy he should be blaming.

The struggle with her was nothing compared to the war waging within himself. He didn't want this! He didn't want her touching him, did he? And. . . .Oh, God! A zing flashed through him as she shifted, pressing her pelvis against his. _When our bathing suit areas mash together, boy, howdy is it magic_. And it was. Still, when he opened his mouth to protest, instead of an injunction, a moan escaped him. He didn't return her declaration of love, instead her name was his exhale.

"Amy. . . ."

She continued to kiss him and cognitive abilities were receding by the second. His mind was spinning, he was dizzy and he couldn't decide whether he wanted her to stop or not. When she pulled away for a moment, he found himself struggling for breath, blood pounding in his ears. Sheldon swallowed again, gazing at Amy only long enough to realize the desire in her eyes was no doubt being reflected back at her. He was the one to move forward this time. Tentatively, his lips touched hers, and she was the one sighing. The kiss intensified. _He_ intensified it, and the knots in his stomach twisted even tighter. His fingers were in her hair, skimming through the strands, holding her to him. He could kiss her forever.

As soon as the thought flashed through his mind, she was gone, pushing herself off him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to . . . . I shouldn't have thrown myself at you like that. It's just that. . . . Oh, Sheldon, this is _so_ sweet, so perfect. . . ." Amy was speechless, holding the pendant, gazing at it with such affection, she was once again overcome. He couldn't have wished for a better reaction. She had resettled herself next to him, and Sheldon found he missed her warm weight, the feel of her stomach and the baby pressing into him.

"Don't cry," he said, reaching over to wipe an errant tear. "I gave it to you to make you happy."

Sheldon's fingers were automatically wiping the moisture on the fabric of his pants, until he realized what he was doing. Amy would be upset at the action, believing he thought her full of germs. Before he could apologize, Amy's arms were around his neck "I am happy, Sheldon."

Again he didn't push her away. What surprised him the most was that he truly didn't want to. She felt _right_ in his arms. He should be assigning her a strike with all the unscheduled touching. She should have to take his class three times over just for her actions this evening, but somehow, he didn't care. He kissed her neck. Sweeping her hair over her shoulder, Sheldon pressed his lips to the soft skin just below her ear, smiling against her increased pulse. As her breathing hitched, he trailed down the column of her throat, kissing the chain resting on Amy's pale skin.

Her breaths were raspy, and her eyes were closed. Sheldon combed his fingers through her hair once more, relishing the silky feel, and brought her head and lips to his once more. The action pushed her breast into his hand, and swallowing his fear, he squeezed gently. Never would he have thought Amy could make the sound she just produced. Somewhere between a moan and a cry, the sound was the most arousing thing he'd ever heard. Everything about her was fueling his desire. He was losing the battle with himself. Why did he keep holding himself back? This is what he'd been striving for, a way to touch her, a way to make Amy happy, and by extension, making himself happy.

_It feels good_, he thought. The fear was still there, but little by little, it was diminishing. Trailing his hand over her abdomen, Sheldon couldn't help but feel awe mixed with apprehension. _This is what happened the last time I gave into my base instincts._ Would something equally life-altering happen if he succumbed again?

"Oh, Sheldon," Amy moaned, pressing herself further into him, and now she was the one kissing him. At the same moment, they broke apart, each inhaling, trying to replenish starved lungs. Running his palm over her cheek, Sheldon met Amy's gaze. Within the depths of her eyes, he saw more emotions than he could track. There was desire, certainly, but there was also the love she'd just proclaimed. He'd seen that look before, and suspected what it represented, but he wouldn't allow himself to dwell on it, because if he did, he knew his eyes would be reflecting the same emotion. And he wasn't ready to admit to it. Not to himself, not to her. It was the ultimate surrender and he wasn't ready to capitulate. Not even to her.

Sheldon had been so lost in his thoughts, he hadn't noticed Amy moving off him until she was standing next to the sofa, offering him her hand. Sitting up, he accepted her silent invitation with another wave of trepidation. He may be naive, but he knew what she was asking. He wasn't sure if he'd reach the conclusion she was hoping for, but he could try for a step in the right direction. For her. Only for her.

Sheldon stood, giving her a slight nod, and watched as Amy walked towards their bedroom, glancing over her shoulder as she went. He smiled, hoping to reassure her.

"I'm just going to get the lights." Her returning smile was shy, and for all her bravado, Sheldon realized she was as nervous as he was, which in a strange way, lent him some comfort.

Finishing the routine of closing the apartment, Sheldon approached the door to his room. Would he find Amy naked, under the sheets, waiting for him? Now his breath was coming in short little pants and he felt his heart racing, but not in the way it had been before. He was terrified and afraid he would hyperventilate, passing out on the threshold to his room. Would Amy rush to him, naked, trying to revive him?

Moments ago this seemed like a good idea. Now he was not so sure. His palms were sweating, and no amount of swiping over his pants seemed to dissipate the moisture. He couldn't stand there forever. Besides the need for his REM cycle, he knew Amy was waiting for him and it wouldn't be long before she came to see where he was. For a fleeting moment he thought to escape across the hall, but Leonard wasn't there, and how would he explain he could sleep in an apartment with his neighbor, who was a woman, but not his own wife?

"Sheldon?"

The sound of her voice jolted him from his paralysis. "Coming," he squeaked, pushing the door open. To his great relief, Amy was fully dressed, lying on top of the comforter, head propped in her hand. Her "come hither" pose caused him to swallow again as he slowly approached the bed.

Sheldon tried to move forward, but he just couldn't make himself take a step closer to the bed. Closing his eyes, he tried to summon the will to lie down next to her. _She's not going to hurt you or make you do something you don't want. She loves you._ It was probably that which scared him the most. _I can't disappoint her._

Amy looked up at him. He expected her to be angry, as she often was when he'd upset her. But she had a warm, understanding expression on her face, like you would for an animal who didn't comprehend your words or actions.

"It's okay," she said. "Let's just go to sleep."

_No_, he thought. _I'm not going to take the easy way out. I'm her husband. I need to act like it._ "I. . .don't want to." Sheldon poked at the comforter, not meeting her gaze. "I. . . I think maybe we should try again." He looked up then and saw Amy watching him.

"Okay," she nodded, still scrutinizing him. He sat on the opposite side of the bed, and taking in a lungful of air, reached over and grasped her hand. As if they'd planned the move, they lay back at the same moment, staring at the ceiling. Slowly, Sheldon began to run his thumb over her's, their hands still clasped. Amy was frozen next to him, allowing him to decide what direction they took.

Rolling on to his right side, Sheldon's gaze met Amy's and he thought she looked as apprehensive as he felt. _This shouldn't be so hard, _he thought, and decided that was the problem—the were both thinking too much. He slept next to her every night, this should just be an extension of that.

"Roll on your side," he instructed. "Like we were going to sleep." Silently, Amy obeyed, and when she was settled in her usual position, Sheldon took his place behind her. Sliding his hand over her side, he began rubbing her stomach, feeling her shiver slightly.

"Are you cold?"

Her voice came out a stutter. "N. . .No." Her intake breath was a sharp hiss. He started to remove his hand, but Amy clamped hers over his, holding his hand on her abdomen. He began rubbing circles over her belly, and little by little she loosened her grip on him.

As his circles became larger, Sheldon found his hand at the hem of her top. He could feel the heat radiating off her and wanted to touch the warm, taut skin, so close to his fingertips. Amy hissed again as his cool hand made contact.

"Don't stop," she whispered. Emboldened by her response, Sheldon slid his hand further up under her shirt, caressing skin that turned to goose flesh at his touch. His fingers felt the material of her bra, and it was all he could do not to jerk away. Swallowing, he closed his eyes and gently caressed her.

"Oh. . . . "

Knowing he was the one making Amy moan gave him an immense feeling of satisfaction. Unfortunately, lying on his side, Sheldon only had one hand free.

"Amy, roll over onto me, but stay on your back." He knew it was an odd request, but it would give him another hand to touch her. Amy did as she was asked, and Sheldon released a sigh as her bottom made contact. Realizing the effect she was having on him, Sheldon suspected she was wiggling around on purpose. He was about to tell her to lie still, but the friction felt good. Too good, and it was causing him to loose focus. Fighting to stay in control, Sheldon reached around to touch Amy with his other hand. Their position was sort of a backwards hug, but this was one embrace he was in no hurry to extricate himself from.

As he fondled her, Amy's breaths came in short gasps intermixed with little mews that had him growing more excited. She was moving against him faster now, back arching, silently begging for his touch.

"Oh, dear lord," he swallowed, wondering if he could fulfill Amy's appeal. He knew what she wanted, but could he give it to her? Sheldon knew she was close. It took so little to get her going these days. Almost every exchange included some veiled and not-so veiled innuendoes.

He'd done little more than caress her skin, touch the base of her bra, but it seemed to be enough in her over-charged state. Her breath was coming in little gasps as she turned her head to look at him, still half lying across his body.

"Thank you," she breathed, settling down next to him, head on his chest.

He didn't want to make her move, but something had to be done about his own condition. One he'd lately been experiencing more and more.

"Amy, I. . . ." And before he could explain his dilemma, she seemed to figure it out for herself. Rather than move aside so he could get up, Sheldon realized there was a sudden pressure on him that wasn't present a moment ago.

"Amy! No! Don't. . . Oh, God," he moaned. It felt as though he'd called out to the deity more times in the last hour than he had his entire life.

"Do you want me to stop?" she whispered. He couldn't think. His mind was numb. All that existed was her hand and the glorious sensations she was evoking. _How come it never feels this good when I do it?_ If it did, he'd never leave his room.

"Do you want me to stop?" she repeated, lips pressed up against his ear.

"Yes. . .No!. . .I mean. . .Ohhhhh. God, Amy. . . ."

"Please, Sheldon. Let me do this for you." He was frozen with indecision. Mortified, terrified, aroused, curious, he couldn't decide what it was he wanted. All he knew for certain was if he didn't relieve the pressure in his groin he was going to go insane.

"I can't let you," he gasped, quickly heading for a panic attack. _The germs—from both of us—the mess. . . ._ He couldn't really see her. The only light in the room came from the window and it only lit portions of her. The occasional glint of her hair, the outline of her shoulder. The anonymity of the dark was bolstering his courage. He needed release and he couldn't deny her hand on him was nearly the most incredible thing he'd ever felt. Finally, he nodded, and lay back down, closing his eyes.

At first he felt nothing and he wondered if Amy had changed her mind. He couldn't blame her. If he'd consciously planned on pleasuring her, he would have lost his nerve. Just when he thought she'd changed her mind, Sheldon felt the feather-light touch of her fingers. As her pressure increased, he decided he wanted this, and if for some reason she choose to stop, he would die of frustration. Every primal urge he'd ever suppressed seemed to be clamoring for attention, and by God, he was going to see they were met. He nearly shot off the bed, the electric jolt had him panting and clutching the comforter with such force, his knuckles ached.

"Amyyyy. . . . " he rasped, as the incredible sensations washed over him. He couldn't keep track of what she was doing. All he knew was he was moving closer and closer to a point of no return, like a runaway train, steaming down a mountain.

He could feel his culmination nearing and struggled to extricate himself, but Amy was having none of it. Giving him one last squeeze, his entire body went rigid and the world exploded in a shower of sparks.

Sheldon lay panting on the bed. Even though he was still dressed, his body was covered in sweat, and the need for a shower was overwhelming. His limbs had gone slack, and he wondered if he was even capable of walking the short distance to the bathroom. Amy lay next to him and the tension between them was nearly as intense as his need to shower. Never had he ever felt so out of his element. What did one do at a time like this?

Amy's gaze seemed to be focused on the ceiling as they lay side-by-side, unable to look at each other, the embarrassment was growing worse by the second when she reached over and took his hand. She said nothing, and neither did he. Finally, she squeezed her fingers around his, and after a moment, he returned the gesture.


	26. Chapter 26

**_26_**

It was late, but Amy couldn't sleep. She'd dozed earlier, but now found herself mentally replaying her incredible night with Sheldon. True, they hadn't had intercourse, but it had been an amazing night nonetheless. She was lying on her left side—not her usual position—because she wanted to watch him sleep. The light from outside did little to illuminate their bedroom, but it was enough.

Sheldon lay on his back, in his "mummy" position, unaware he was being scrutinized. He looked peaceful, and it made Amy smile. Hopefully she'd been at least partially responsible for his contented sleep. Thinking back to her wanton actions, Amy felt her cheeks blazing in the cool darkness of their room. When Penny first suggested she learn some "techniques", Amy was sure she could never do what Penny was advocating. After having the video forced on her, Amy promptly hid it at the bottom of her sock drawer.

She didn't know what made her pull it out and watch it, weeks ago now. She'd been so embarrassed by the explicit nature, she could only watch a few minutes at a time. Eventually, Amy had worked her way through the material, but was certain she'd never be brave enough to attempt any of the lessons. Boy, was she wrong. Beyond her surprise at her own behavior, was that of Sheldon. That he hadn't pushed her away in total disgust was monumental. Still, she knew they were going to have an uncomfortable encounter when he woke. One night of gratification wasn't going to change who he was. Who they were.

Rolling back onto her right side, Amy noted a slickness between her thighs. Apparently just thinking about what had happened between them seemed to be getting her motor running again. Smiling into the slowly brightening room, Amy pushed the covers back to make a quick run to the bathroom, not wanting to be absent when Sheldon woke up at precisely six a.m.

She opted to forgo her slippers, and the wood beneath her feet was surprisingly cold. Regretting her decision to not take the moment necessary to slide on her footwear, Amy practically ran to the bathroom. Apparently moving quickly was a good choice as her bladder decided it couldn't wait another second. It was embarrassing to realize she couldn't make the few short feet, but she felt something warm sliding down her leg. Sheldon would be horrified at the mess she made.

Flicking on the bathroom light, Amy screeched when she saw the puddle of blood between her feet. At first she just stood there, unable to process what she was seeing. Then it hit her. _The baby! Oh, God! The baby!_ She was still frozen to the spot, in shock. _Sheldon! I need Sheldon! _Seconds later she realized that was not an option. He'd be traumatized by the sight of the blood and would pass out. _Penny! She'll know what to do!_

Amy's hands were shaking as she lifted her nightgown to pack toilet paper between her legs. Her stomach roiled, and she could taste bile rising in the back of her throat. _Oh, please, please, please don't let it be the baby! _She was crying, tears streaming down her face, trying to breathe. Her inhales were gasps as she tried to suck in air, but it just wasn't happening. She had to calm down. _Think! THINK! Just because there was blood didn't mean she was losing the baby._ Amy knew it was false hope, but she had to cling to something. Some shred of calm in the chaos surrounding her.

Taking a moment, Amy splashed cold water on her face, trying to focus on a plan. _Get to Penny. Get to the hospital._ The tears threatened to start again, but she swallowed, resolving not to panic. Walking as fast as she could, Amy grabbed the "sick quilt" from the bedroom closet, needing the warmth and comfort it provided. It smelled like Sheldon's laundry detergent, a scent she associated with him, and felt a modicum of reassurance. She'd started to shiver, shaking uncontrollably despite the warmth of the comforter. Standing at the end of the bed, Amy debating if she should wake Sheldon. She needed him, but she needed his strength, not another burden. She left him. Once she was at the hospital, she'd text him.

Amy waddled to the front door, praying she wasn't leaving a trail of blood. Grabbing keys, she made her way to Penny's door where she frantically knocked, calling her friend's name.

xxxxxx

Penny slowly surfaced from sleep to the sound of knocking on her door. Reaching over to shake Leonard, she mumbled,

"Leonard, get the door. Dr. Crazy's knocking like a fiend." Rolling over, Penny swept her hand over the sheets and came up empty. "Oh, right," she said, rubbing a hand over her face, pushing hair out of the way. "You're not here." With a sigh, she tossed the bed clothes aside, vowing she was going to kill that nutcase for waking her up while it was barely dawn.

Tying the sash to her robe as she stumbled to her door, Penny realized it wasn't Sheldon's usual knock. And it wasn't Sheldon's voice.

"Amy? What's. . . ." She opened the door, and before she could finish her sentence she found a barefoot Amy wrapped in a quilt, sobbing. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Penny, you have to get me to the hospital," she wailed. "I think I'm losing the baby! There's so much blood. . . ." Amy was trying to brush away the tears with a corner of the quilt, but she was crying so hard, she wasn't having much luck. Wrapping her arms around her, Penny pulled Amy into the apartment.

"I have to put some clothes on! I'll be right back!" Amy rushed past her to the bathroom as Penny tried to work her head around what was happening. Tossing on a shirt, pulling up her jeans, Penny wished desperately Leonard had been there. "Ames? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not okay!" she screamed. _At least she hasn't passed out_, Penny thought.

"I'm going to come in, all right?" When Amy didn't answer her, she assumed it was permission to enter. Pushing the door open, Penny swallowed at the sight of her friend trying to staunch the flow of blood. _Oh, God. . . .! _"I'll get you to the hospital, Sweetie. Where are your shoes?"

"I forgot to grab them!" Amy's tears continued to flow as Penny went to grab a pair of thick socks.

"Put these on. Where's Sheldon?"

"I left him sleeping. You know he'd freak out. . . ."

Penny just stared at her. "Yeah, but he needs to know!"

"Can't you send Leonard to tell him?" Looking confused, Amy asked, "Where _is_ Leonard?"

Penny was searching her room for a jacket. "The shower went late so he stayed with Raj. I have to call him. I'll get him to see to Sheldon," she reassured Amy as she dialed Leonard's cell. It took a second call to get him to answer.

Leonard's voice was rough with sleep. _"What?!"_ he growled into the phone.

"Sweetie, it's me," Penny said, sliding her arm into the sleeve of her coat. She transferred the phone to the opposite hand to finish with her jacket, missing part of what Leonard was saying as she switched ears.

_". . . .ing wrong?"_

"Yeah. It's Amy. I need to take her to the hospital. She's bleeding."

_"WHAT?"_ Penny held the phone away to minimize the sound of Leonard's shouting. _"What happened? Where's Sheldon?"_

Taking a deep breath, Penny tried to calm her racing heart and not sound as panicked as she felt. "I don't know what happened. She just showed up on our doorstep and now I'm taking her to the hospital. Sheldon's still sleeping. I need you to come home and make sure _he's_ okay, all right?"

_"Of course. Of course! Just get Amy where she needs to be! I'll take care of Sheldon."_

Penny closed her eyes, sighing in relief. "Thanks, Leonard. I love you."

_"I love you, too. We'll meet you at the hospital." _Penny exited her room to find Amy standing by the front door, socks now gracing her feet, and tears still running down her cheeks.

Giving her a quick hug, Penny ushered her out of the apartment. "It'll be okay, Sweetie." She only wished she felt as confident as she tried to sound.

xxxxxx

Leonard ended the call and fumbled for his glasses. _This cannot be happening!_ he thought. _Hadn't Sheldon and Amy been through enough?_ For a moment he stood frozen, unsure what he needed to do. _Get to Sheldon_ was his first thought. Just then Leonard heard Raj's door open as he emerged from the bedroom, quilt wrapped around him.

"Dude, what's with all the phone calls? Can't you spend five hours away from Penny without being in constant contact?" Hearing Raj's voice jolted Leonard out of his lethargy.

"Something's happened with Amy," he said, quickly folding the sheet and blanket Raj had supplied.

The shock on Raj's face rivaled his own. "What's wrong? Is it something with the baby?"

"I think so, but I don't know for sure." Leonard was frantically looking around the living room. "Have you seen my coat?" Raj retrieved it from a kitchen chair, handing it to him. "Penny's taking her to the hospital."

"How did she know? Where's Sheldon?"

Leonard stopped long enough to take a deep breath and relate all he knew. "Penny said Amy showed up at our place, and was bleeding. Amy said she didn't wake Sheldon because she didn't want him freaking out. I'm going to go over there and try to keep him calm enough to get him to the hospital."

Raj pulled off his pajama top as he headed back towards his room. "I'm going to get dressed. I'll meet you at the hospital."

"Good plan," Leonard decided, reaching for his keys on the coffee table. "You should probably call Howard and Bernadette, too. I don't know that they need to be there, but we should let them know." He could hear Raj rustling around in his room and caught a muffled acknowledgement. Either Raj was in his closet or had his head buried in one of his sweater vests.

"I'll take care of it. Just go before Sheldon realizes Amy isn't there." Nodding, Leonard was out the door, practically running through the hallway to the exit.

It wasn't much of a drive back to his apartment building, and despite the reduced traffic in the pre-dawn twilight, Leonard still felt like it was the longest journey he'd ever taken. It was only going to be worse once Sheldon was in the car. What was he going to say to him? How was he going to keep Sheldon from going into full panic mode? Even on a good day Sheldon imagined anything that could go wrong, would. If Amy's bleeding didn't stop. . . . He couldn't even think about it.

Leonard hadn't realized how fast he'd been driving until his tires screeched as he pulled up in front of their building. Taking the stairs two at a time, he was thoroughly out of breath by the time he reached the fourth floor. He was wheezing as he sorted his old key on the ring, inserting it into the lock.

Upon opening the door, he discovered the apartment was dark and quiet. Leonard glanced at his watch and realized if Sheldon stuck to his schedule, it would be fifteen minutes before he woke up. Walking as softly as he could, Leonard made his way to Sheldon's room. The last thing he wanted to do was startle him.

As he rounded the corner in the hallway, Leonard noticed the dark splotches on the wood leading to the bathroom. He started feeling queasy just seeing the spots and knew Sheldon would be totally incapacitated if he saw them. Not only would his worry for Amy explode exponentially, but his usual aversion to blood would send him into a dead faint.

Leonard moved to the kitchen to gather some paper towels, dampening a few in case he had to scrub the floor. Starting with the bathroom, he worked his way back towards Sheldon's room. It felt so odd being back in his old apartment, knowing it was no longer his space. He hadn't really noticed it when he came for dinner on Thursday nights, or even the night before when the guys gathered for their gaming. Perhaps it was because he didn't venture beyond the bathroom, and the bedrooms seemed so personal. Now belonging completely to Sheldon and Amy.

He was just about to wipe up the last spot of blood when he heard Sheldon's door open. Dropping the damp paper towel on the floor and stepping on top to hide it, Leonard stuffed the remaining towels up the sleeve of his hoodie. Sheldon stood in his doorway, rubbing his eyes.

"Leonard?"

"Heyyyyy, Buddy!"

"What are you doing here? Am I having a dream?"

Leonard scuffed his foot back and forth, hoping he was getting the last of the blood. "Oh, I wish you were," he mumbled under his breath. Sheldon started shuffling towards the kitchen in a daze. Taking advantage of his distraction, Leonard quickly scooped up the paper towel from the floor, deftly depositing it in the bathroom waste basket before following Sheldon.

"What time is it? Where's Amy? I _am_ still asleep, aren't I? Is that Gorn going to show up again?"

"Gorn?" Leonard shook his head, his fingers unconsciously twisting as he stood before his friend. "Look, Sheldon, I've got some bad news for you and you have to promise me to try and not go off the deep end."

"What are you talking about? You're in my apartment—the one you no longer live in—and you tell me to stay calm because you have some bad news." he shook his head back and forth with the look of derision he often gave Leonard. "If that doesn't have dream written all over it, I don't know what does." Sheldon closed his eyes and moved his right arm out making a motion as if he were patting his bed. "That's odd. I don't feel the mattress. Or Amy."

"That's because you're awake!" Leonard yelled, then instantly regretted it. Sheldon wasn't going to deal well with the truth and he needed to have some patience. Rubbing his brow, Leonard pushed his glassed up and faced Sheldon. "There's been a. . .mishap, involving Amy," he began.

"A mishap?" Sheldon asked, suddenly seeming more aware. "Did she fall or something?" He started looking around the apartment, as if he'd somehow missed her in the confined area. Turning back to him, Sheldon asked, "How do you know this? You were at Raj's."

"Penny called me. She said Amy came over and asked Penny to take her to the hospital." Leonard took a breath and told him the rest. "She was bleeding."

"Bleeding?" Sheldon yelped, grabbing the kitchen island for support. The color was already draining from his face and Leonard rushed forward to catch him if he started to fall. "Why would she be bleeding?"

Leonard closed his eyes. He _so_ didn't want to be the one to have to say this. "It. . .it might be the baby."

Sheldon's pallor became even more pronounced. "You mean should could be _losing _the baby?" he whispered.

"We don't know anything at the moment," Leonard said, trying to sound much more confident than he felt. "You just need to get dressed and come with me. I'll take you to the hospital." Suddenly, Sheldon straightened up and immediately took charge, reminding Leonard of how he'd saved them all when his experimental rocket fuel went critical, placing the container in the elevator. Surprisingly, it had been Sheldon's quick thoughts and actions that saved the day.

"You need to call my mother. She's staying at the Super 8. Here's her number," he said scribbling it on a Post-It note. He was moving towards his room as he called out, "You'll have to call Amy's mother as well." He turned, grabbed the pen out of Leonard's hand and wrote a second number. "Try not to alarm them, just have them meet us at the hospital." Sheldon stopped for a moment, hesitating in the hallway looking from the bathroom door to his own. "I'll have to forgo my shower, but I do have to get dressed and brush my teeth. You should have time to make the calls in the meantime." The only evidence of Sheldon's distress was the shaking of his hand as he reached for the doorknob on the entrance to his room.

xxxxxx

The moment the door clicked shut behind him Sheldon sagged, nearly collapsing onto the bed. Holding his stomach, he sucked in great lungfuls of air, trying to catch his breath. _Get it together, Cooper! Amy needs you!_ He closed his eyes, trying not to let his mind focus on all that could go wrong.

This was his fault. Obviously their intimacies had gone too far and they hurt the baby. He should have controlled himself. It always came back to his lack of control. Amy wouldn't even _be_ pregnant if he'd controlled himself, and now she might not be because of his same lack of control. When had he become such a sexual beast? Still, reviewing the night before, Sheldon thought there shouldn't have been any danger to the baby. Apparently, he was wrong.

Why hadn't Amy woken him? Why go to Penny? What if he'd awoke at his usual time to find Amy lying next to him in blood-soaked sheets? The thought had him growing faint once more and Sheldon found himself sitting on the edge of his bed as his vision swam. He couldn't fall apart. Amy needed his support. He could assign blame later.

"Sheldon! What's the hold up? We have to go!" The sound of Leonard's voice broke through his thoughts causing him to jump off the bed, grabbing the first clothes he saw in his drawer.

"I'm coming! I have to brush my teeth!"

"Hurry it up, would you?!" Sheldon tried not to think about putting clean clothes on his unwashed body. He'd taken a shower after their "encounter," thank goodness, but he'd been asleep more than six hours which meant he was due for another thorough cleaning. He could do this. He could wallow in his own germs for Amy.

After the fastest oral hygiene routine of his life, Sheldon appeared in the living room to find Leonard pacing, looking relieved when he saw him. Without speaking, Sheldon grabbed his jacket, shooing Leonard out the door with a wave of his hand.

It was light now and morning traffic was starting to pick up. As he buckled himself into Leonard's car, Sheldon started to calculate how long the drive was going to take, and found it unacceptable.

"While you know I always advocate following the rules of the road," Sheldon said, turning to look at Leonard, "Perhaps in this case it would be prudent to exceed the speed limit."

Leonard looked over his shoulder as he pulled away from the curb. "I'll try, but you know how traffic is at this time."

"Then perhaps you should try to get onto Cherry Street. The drivers there seem to consider that stretch of road a racecourse." Nodding, Leonard drove around the block, his fingers tapping impatiently on the steering wheel as they sat at the traffic light. Sheldon could feel Leonard's gaze on him, and he turned to give him a tight-lipped grimace which he'd intended to be a smile.

"You doing okay?" Leonard asked. His brow was furrowed, and Sheldon felt his concern was warranted.

"I'm not sure what I'm feeling at the moment. However the thought of Amy being in that place crawling with pathogens is not easing my distress."

"You realize the hospital is the best place for her, right?"

Sheldon sighed, gazing out the window. "Yes, I know." Moments later he turned back to Leonard. "I just don't know what could have happened! She came home from the shower, I gave her a gift, and in her enthusiasm, Amy got a little carried away, but that's all."

"What do you mean, 'a little carried away'?"

Sheldon couldn't meet his friend's gaze. Instead he rubbed his finger over the scratch in the dashboard he noticed every time he got into Leonard's car. "You know. . . . Wanting to kiss me."

Pursing his lips, Leonard thought for a minute. "Well, that's not so unusual, seeing as you gave her a gift." There was a stretch of silence, then he asked, "You didn't push her away, did you?"

"Um. . . . Not exactly." Sheldon could feel his face warming.

"What does 'not exactly' mean?"

Sheldon's gaze returned out the window. "I. . . .might have kissed her back."

"Really?" Leonard practically squeaked, then said in his normal tone of voice, "Good for you!" Clearing his throat, he asked, "So, things getting a little easier with you and Amy?"

Closing his eyes and swallowing, Sheldon couldn't make the words come out. Images of the night before flashed through his mind and he found himself unable to decide how he felt about what had transpired. Embarrassed, aroused, curious, hopeful, scared, moved. They were all there, swirling around his brain in a maelstrom. Above it all was his concern for Amy. And the baby.

He was gazing out the window once more. "I'd rather not talk about it," he said in a low voice. "Can't you go any faster?"

"Sheldon, you can see the traffic! If I could go faster, don't you think I would?" There were a few moments of heavy silence, then Leonard sighed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. I know you're worried, but so am I. Amy's my friend and I don't like seeing what this is doing to you."

Sheldon pulled his bag closer to his chest, gripping the strap so hard his nails were digging into his palms. "Thank you for your concern, Leonard," he said, and remained silent the rest of the drive.

Once they reached the hospital, Leonard dropped him off at the emergency room doors, telling Sheldon he'd meet him inside after he parked. As much as he loathed hospitals, Sheldon didn't hesitate to enter the ER. Looking around frantically for someone to help him, he noticed a nurse he'd seen on previous visits. Between Penny's dislocated shoulder, Leonard's mishap with the asparagus jar and Mrs. Wolowitz's cardiac scare, there had been numerous minor injuries, and he found himself in the hospital more often than he wanted to.

Running up to the nurse, he was greeted with the woman's exasperated sigh. "If it isn't Dr. Cooper. It's been a crazy night, so I don't have time to go looking for any cleaning logs before you have a seat." She started to turn away but Sheldon touched her arm, preventing her from leaving. Immediately he removed his hand, sorry on several levels for having touched her.

"I'm sorry, Nurse. . . ." He glanced at her name tag, "Watson. My wife was brought in apparently bleeding. I need to find her and find out what's going on. Please!"

Nurse Watson looked him up and down. "I'm not sure what surprises me more: you being married or asking nicely." She glanced at her watch, then sighed. "What time did she come in?"

"Um, probably about an hour or so ago." Now that he thought about it, it could have been much longer. Who knew how long he'd remained asleep after Amy left.

"Under 'Cooper'?"

"Fowler-Cooper." Nurse Watson moved to a computer, tapping a few keys. Sheldon waited interminable minutes as she scanned the records.

"Okay. Here she is. She's in area three, being treated." Sheldon looked around, trying to determine which would be area three when Watson stopped him by blocking his path.

"Hold on there, Cowboy. You can't go back there. She's in emergency surgery."

"Emergency surgery!" He screeched, "What's going on?!"

The woman looked at him with apparent sympathy. "I'm sorry, I don't know any of the other details. You'll just have to wait out here for the time being. I'll let them know you're here." Sheldon was about to protest when he saw Penny emerge from the restroom, dabbing her eyes. _Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God! Penny wouldn't be crying if it wasn't serious!_

"Sheldon? Oh, thank God you're here! Where's Leonard?" Just then he came rushing through the automatic doors, out of breath.

"I had to park practically back at the apartment!" he wheezed. "What did you find out?" he asked them both. Penny hugged Leonard and was about to speak when Mary Cooper stepped through the doors, closely followed by Anita Fowler. Mary spotted them almost immediately, pulling Anita with her.

"What is this about Amy bleeding?" Mary asked. Her brow was furrowed in concern as she automatically wrapped her arms around Sheldon as if her presence alone could protect him.

Penny indicated a group of empty chairs. "Let's have a seat and I'll tell you all." They moved quickly, Penny taking Sheldon's left hand as they sat. His mother was on his right, clinging to his arm and surprisingly, he found her proximity comforting. He didn't even mind Penny's germy hand clasping his. Penny turned to him, but swept the others with her gaze.

"Amy knocked on my door about five o'clock this morning, saying she was bleeding and asking if I could bring her to the hospital."

Mary's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, Dear Lord! Sweet Jesus, look after our Amy!"

"Mother, please!" Sheldon said, squeezing her thigh hard enough to bruise. "Let her finish! Then what happened?" he asked Penny.

"Well, we drove here. Amy was wrapped in a quilt, but there was so much blood, she was starting to soak through it by the time we arrived." Penny was starting to cry again and was gripping Leonard with her other hand. "I had to help her walk because she was getting dizzy. All she kept talking about was how she was ruining the quilt and how mad you were going to be," she said, looking at Sheldon. "I tried to get her to calm down but she made me promise not to call you because you'd worry too much."

Sheldon squeezed Penny's hand back. "You did the right thing by sending Leonard. I just wish she would have woke me up!"

"It's probably for the best she didn't," Leonard said. "There was quite a bit of blood in your apartment." Sheldon swallowed down the bile rising in the back of his throat. He knew his friends were right, and he wasn't proud he had such a weak constitution.

"They took her back immediately and all I know is they were prepping her for emergency surgery."

"What about Dr. Bennett?" Sheldon asked. "Did anyone call her?"

Penny nodded. "Amy called her from the car. I would think she'd be here by now."

Sheldon was looking around the ER. "I don't see her! What's taking so long?"

"Calm down, Sweetie. I'm sure the doctors have a different entrance." Sheldon couldn't just sit there doing nothing. He knew Nurse Watson wouldn't let him near the operating area, and to be honest he didn't want to be there either, but he longed to see Amy. See she was okay, or at least as okay as she could be. To reassure her he was there for her.

He leapt to his feet, pacing the small area the group had claimed. Mary had replaced Sheldon with Anita as a recipient of her hugs, speaking softly to the woman whose only daughter they were gathered for. Howard, Bernadette and Raj entered, and quickly spotted them.

"Oh, my God, what happened?" Bernadette cried. "All Raj told us was Amy was bleeding!" Penny relayed her story once more but Sheldon had tuned them out. He felt so incredibly guilty. What could he have done to her? Dr. Bennett kept telling them sex was safe up until the last weeks of pregnancy—almost to the point of Sheldon asking her to stop encouraging Amy. So what happened? What went wrong? They hadn't even engaged in intercourse! How could he have hurt her?

He was still mulling over what could have caused this emergency when Howard came up behind him, placing a hand on his back then quickly retracting it when Sheldon whipped around.

"Sorry, Dude. I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"How I am doing?! How do you think I'm doing?! My wife is probably losing our baby as we speak!"

Howard held up his hands, taking a step back from him. "Whoa, Man. I was just wondering if there was anything I could do to help."

Drawing in a deep breath, Sheldon sagged. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."

Howard's eyebrows raised in surprise. "Wait a second. Did you just _apologize _to me?"

"Yes. And you better remember it because it's the last time it'll ever happen," Sheldon snapped.

"There's the Sheldon we all know and. . .well, tolerate." Howard was grinning, proud he'd managed to get him to curl his lip into a semblance of a smile.

"Howard, you really _are_ a treasured acquaintance."

Holding up his hands, acting as if he was holding a pair of pistols, Howard said, "Back atcha, Homie." Bernadette was rubbing Penny's back, and Penny smiled up at her, silently thanking Bernadette for her support.

Raj had joined Sheldon in his pacing and it wasn't long before they were walking in an elliptical orbit of Howard, who just kind of stood in one place, bouncing on his Chuck Taylor clad feet.

"I just wish they'd tell us _something_," Anita said, shredding yet another tissue. The floor was littered with the scraps and it was all Sheldon could do not to pick them up. Everything about the waiting room was driving him mad. His worry, his friend's worry, his mother, Amy's mother, the incredibly unsanitary surroundings.

Sheldon charged up to the reception counter. "Isn't there _anything_ you can tell me about what's going on?"

A harried member of the hospital staff looked up, not really seeing him other than another body standing before her. "I'm sorry, you are?"

"Yes, I am."

"I mean, what's your name."

"Sheldon Cooper. _Doctor_ Sheldon Cooper." She tapped onto a keyboard and without looking up stated,

"There is no Dr. Cooper on staff here."

"Yes, I know. Well, I don't know for a fact, but I'm not a medical doctor. I'm trying to find out about what's happening with my wife."

"What was she brought in for?"

"Bleeding. She was bleeding."

Now the woman behind the counter gave him a baleful stare. "Could you be more specific? We see a lot of that around here."

Sheldon swallowed. "She's pregnant. I was told she was taken to area three." Now the attendant seemed a bit more attentive. A few more taps on the keys and she shook her head.

"It looks like they're still working on her. If you'll just have a seat, we'll let you. . . ."

"Yes, yes," he groused. "You'll let me know as soon as she's out. Thanks for nothing." Sheldon stalked off to where the others were waiting, only to be admonished by his mother.

"Shelly! They're doing their best! Now hush up and take a seat before you get escorted out of the building."

"Another restraining order to add to your collection," Howard mumbled just loud enough for him to hear.

"Howie! Don't make things worse!"

"I don't know how it could be much worse," Penny quietly said to Leonard, but again, his hypersensitive hearing caught all of it. "She's really scaring me." Leonard pulled her close, rubbing his hand along her arm. Penny closed her eyes, laying her head on his shoulder.

Sheldon watched them. It was so easy for them to express how they felt about each other. If the situation was reversed and Penny was in the operating room, he doubted he and Amy would be sitting as close. She would want to, but he wouldn't let her.

It was funny how it took something like Amy's emergency for him to see how separate he kept himself from everyone. Especially Amy. He recognized, of course, how he kept himself physically apart from people, but that was because they were all contaminated and for the sake of his health, he needed to have a protective bubble of space surrounding him. But not Amy. He slept with Amy. Had done. . .things. . .with Amy. And yet if she were here now he'd be on one chair and she would probably be at least one chair over so as not to crowd him. Suddenly it seemed so wrong, and he made a vow to himself that when she was better, he was really going to try to decrease the space between them. On many levels.

His mother's voice broke into his musings. "Shelly, come sit down," she said, indicating the chair next to her. Everyone was watching him and Sheldon decided the best way to get everyone back to their own conversations was to take his mother up on her offer.

The empty seat was at the end of a row so he only had to deal with being next to his mother. "I know you're worried, Lamb Chop, but it will be all right," she said, patting his knee. "Trust in the Lord."

"Mom, please," Sheldon closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. "I'm really not up for your proselytizing right now."

"I'm not trying to recruit you, Sheldon," she said, a hard edge to her voice, "I'm trying to offer you some comfort!" For some reason her near-shout broke the tension surrounding them, surrounding all of them, and he gave her a crooked smile.

"Thanks, Mom." His hands were clasped between his knees, but he just couldn't get them to warm up. "Mom?"

"Yeah, Baby?"

Sheldon swallowed. "Do you really think it'll be all right?" Mary opened her eyes, sat up straighter and faced him.

"I do. Amy is going to be just fine."

"What. . .what about the baby?"

Mary looked down at her lap and in a very quiet voice, she said, "I'm not as sure on that account."

Sheldon nodded and stared sightlessly across the emergency room. On the periphery of his senses, he was aware of people crying, people limping, being assisted by others. People frantic, everyone seeking help. He was no different from these people. Someone he. . . .cared deeply about was injured, in pain, and he was left to wait and wonder the same as any of them.

Where was his superiority now? Where were the advantages of his eidetic memory? The only thing it was good for now was to replay the previous evening in unrelenting, graphic detail. The sounds she made; the sounds he made. The momentary sense of freedom, to _feel_. It didn't give him a "leg up" on the evolutionary chain as he so often reassured himself it did. He was the same as every person here—controlled by fear and concern.

He had just stood, ready to resume his pacing when a woman in surgical scrubs walked up to him. At first he didn't recognize her, being so immersed in his own thoughts.

"Dr. Cooper," she stated and it took a moment for him to realize who was before him.

"Dr. Bennett. How is Amy?"

"She's been admitted. I'll take you to her."

"Admitted?! But what happened?" Everyone was on their feet now, crowding around Amy's doctor. She looked at all of them and there was a definite sadness in her eyes. She placed a gentle hand on his forearm he didn't try to remove.

"I'm afraid she lost the baby." The room was growing dim, walls closing in. From far away he heard Penny's voice calling his name. The world went black.


	27. Chapter 27

**_27_**

Amy's vision swam. She was groggy and couldn't seem to get her tongue unglued from the roof of her mouth. Blinking several times, she tried to speak, but her throat was as dry as her mouth. At the garbled sounds, Amy heard the sound of a chair scraping slightly on the floor, as if someone had stood and pushed it back in their haste to rise.

"Amy? How are you feeling, darling?" It was her mother's voice, and for once, Amy actually found it comforting. She made a gesture towards her throat, indicating she couldn't speak.

"Oh, of course," her mother said, handing her a cup and a plastic spoon. "The nurse said you'd probably want some ice chips when you awoke." Amy tried to dish up the crushed ice, but her motor skills were about as impaired as her vision. "Let me help you, dear," Anita said, taking the cup from Amy's limp hand. She ladled a few chips into her mouth and Amy sighed. She couldn't remember when anything had been more welcome. A few more shards melted in her mouth and Amy croaked,

"Thank you." She felt a hand on her forehead as her mother brushed the hair out of her face, the gesture bringing back unpleasant memories. Of all the times when as a child her mother would try to soothe her crying at Amy's latest disappointment. At her latest rejection. Her mother would comb her fingers through her hair. Something must be wrong.

"Mother?"

Anita gave her a tremulous smile. "I have to get the nurse. They told me to let them know when you woke up."Amy struggled to sit up but her body wasn't co-operating. With a puff of breath she lay back down, waiting for the room to stop spinning.

"Good! You're awake!" An overly cheery voice spoke off to her right. Turning her head, Amy saw a dark-haired nurse smiling at her with a grin that could have been Penny's, and she felt herself relax a bit. "How are you feeling, Mrs. Cooper?" Amy was too exhausted to correct her on the hyphenation of her last name.

"Tired. A little disoriented," she said, twisting slightly in the bed. "What happened? Why am I in the hospital?" The nurse fiddled with her I.V., entered something on the iPad she carried, then looked back at Amy.

"What's the last thing you remember?" _Blood_, Amy thought. _Blood on the bathroom floor, going to Penny's, the endless drive to the emergency room. . . _

"I. . .I was bleeding," she said, trying to control the quiver in her voice. Her words weren't the only thing shaking. Closing her eyes, Amy slid an unsteady hand towards her abdomen. It was flatter than it had been and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. "I lost the baby," she stated flatly. Her mother and the nurse exchanged a look and Amy knew there was no hope.

"The doctor will be here in a minute," the nurse tried to assure her. "She can explain. . ."

"What is there to explain?!" Amy screamed. "I lost my baby!"

"Now, Amy. . ." Anita said, stepping closer to the bed.

"Don't you 'now Amy' me!" she sobbed. Her throat ached with unshed tears, but she had no extra moisture left. Her voice was a strangled, desperate cry. "My baby is gone!" Curling in on herself, Amy wrapped her arms over her stomach, silently wailing. She didn't know if her mother and the nurse were still in the room, and she didn't care.

She couldn't believe this was happening. Yesterday, she had everything, and today, nothing. Yesterday she was thinking she needed to look into daycare, today she needed to cancel her maternity leave. Yesterday she was going to be a mother, today she wasn't. An inhuman wail escaped her and she was beyond caring.

xxxxxx

Sheldon's senses slowly came back to him. First it was his hearing. In the background he could hear muffled announcements from a loudspeaker. Then it was sight. His eyes weren't open but he could tell there was a bright, harsh light his eyelids were filtering out. Then touch. He was lying on something hard, but it also gave under his weight. Smell came next. There was antiseptic somewhere, and wherever he was, the room reeked of it. He was then aware he could taste the odor and was starting to panic. Antiseptics meant hospitals or at the least a doctor's office. Was he sick?

Then his memory came back. Something about Dr. Bennett telling him Amy having lost the baby. _Preposterous! You don't just _lose_ a baby. It hasn't been born, I know right where it is. _Sheldon struggled to sit up, and realized he was on an exam table. _Why am I here? What happened?_

He felt hands assisting him, and looked up to see Amy's doctor. "Dr. Bennett? What am I doing here? What are _you_ doing here? Am I dreaming again?"

"You don't remember, Dr. Cooper?" Sarah Bennett's face looked quite concerned. "You're in an exam room. You fainted after I told you about Amy."

"Told me what about Amy?" he asked, surprised he couldn't remember what she'd said to him, or even remember speaking to her. He never forgot _anything_. Even when he tried to, he just couldn't do it. Apparently now he had he learned. "Fascinating. . . ."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Cooper, I'm not sure I understand what about this situation could be considered 'fascinating.'"

Sheldon sat up straighter. "That I can't remember! Remarkable," he muttered with a shake of his head. Her hand moved to his forearm and he recalled that. Something about a hand. She had placed a hand on his arm and . . . . "Oh, God!" He moaned, his gaze snapping to hers "I _do _remember. . . . Amy. . . ." He looked away, feeling his words catch in his throat. "Is she all right?"

Dr. Bennett removed her hand, but didn't step back. "Physically, yes."

Sheldon closed his eyes, trying to block out the world and the news Dr. Bennett relayed that they no longer had a child. "But the baby. . . ."

Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling, Dr. Bennett said. "I was unable to save the baby."

Sheldon started to cry. He wasn't even aware he had until he felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. Wiping at them, he stared at the drops on his fingers as if questioning that they were his. He looked at her again.

"This is my fault," he said.

"Your fault? No, Dr. Cooper, this isn't your fault. This wasn't anyone's fault. It was nature's way of. . ."

"No," he said, shaking his head, unable to look her way. "This _is_ my fault. Amy," he swallowed, "Wanted to be. . .intimate. I. . .I should have told her no." Sheldon could feel his cheeks blazing. He _so_ did not want to be having this conversation with anyone!

Sheldon felt her hand on his arm again then another hand on his opposite arm, causing him to look up at the intrusion into his personal space.

"Dr. Cooper, Sheldon, this is _not_ your fault. Intercourse at this time is still perfectly safe. Amy had shown no indications. . . ."

"Who said anything about intercourse? We didn't engage in coitus!"

Sarah licked her lips, casting her gaze downward. "Then it really isn't anything you did."

"She was aroused," he confessed. "_Quite_ aroused."

Dr. Bennet took a moment to compose herself. "I'm sure she was. What I'm trying to tell you is that no one is at fault. Not you, not Amy. If your baby had come to term, I believe it may have had birth defects."

Sheldon's eyes flew open. "Birth defects! But that's not possible! Our child was to be a Homo Novus!"

"Excuse me, what?"

"A Homo Novus! The first generation of a better species of Human! " Dr. Bennett stared at him, mouth agape. Tucking a stray hair behind her ear, she cleared her throat.

"I see. Nevertheless, nature does have its way of taking care of. . ."

"Mistakes? Is that what you were going to say?" Sheldon was furious. How dare she imply their baby was a mistake!

"No, what I was going to say was its imperfections."

Sheldon's fists were clenched. "Our baby was _not_ an imperfection!"

Dr. Bennett straightened up, the features on her face seeming to harden. "Dr. Cooper. I'm not saying any of those things, and I would appreciate you not putting words in my mouth. I didn't want to be graphic, but you're leaving me no choice. The fetus was deformed."

Sheldon fought down a renewed feeling of nausea and vertigo. He couldn't pass out again! _Oh, God! Could this really be happening? Shouldn't Leonard be coming into his room to make sure he was up on time to go to work?_

The sympathetic look had returned to Dr. Bennett's face. "I'm sorry, Dr. Cooper, I didn't mean to be so blatant, but you have to know the truth. This was _nothing_ you or Amy did or did not do. Unfortunately, women often miscarry their first child."

Focusing on a pattern in the tile floor, Sheldon heard his voice coming from far away. "I thought most miscarriages happened in the first trimester." He heard more than saw Sarah take a step backward, affording him some blessed space.

"Actually, it's the second trimester that's the most common," she said quietly.

Sheldon looked up sharply. "Then why didn't you tell us? Warn us that this was a possibility?"

Dr. Bennett took a deep breath, folding her arms over her chest. "Several reasons, actually. In the first place, Amy was showing no signs of having any difficulties. Her pregnancy was on track. In the second, you have a tendency to over-react, and anything I said that wasn't strictly positive would cause you to obsess."

"Now wait a minute! I don't. . ."

She gave him a hard look, reminding him of his mother when he tried to slide something past her. "I saw no reason to upset either of you when it wasn't necessary." Sheldon knew she was right. If he had considered Amy's pregnancy in danger, he would have researched miscarriages. They hadn't done anything wrong. It was what his mother would have called "an act of God." The thought did not offer him any comfort.

Sheldon felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up into the face of the doctor. For the first time he noticed how tired and defeated she looked.

"Sheldon, for what it's worth, I'm very sorry." Her voice had grown quiet, and even he could see she was upset. "I did everything I could to save your baby." Blinking, Sarah looked up at the ceiling. "My job, my _passion_, is to bring life into this world. It's never easy to fail." Sheldon knew that better than anyone. Failure was _never _an option. But he was at a loss. Should he try to comfort her? Before he had to make a decision, Dr. Bennett gave herself a small shake, regaining her professional composure.

"I think it's time we went and saw Amy."

xxxxxx

Amy heard a knock on the door, but didn't answer. Whoever was on the other side didn't seem inclined to wait for her invitation to enter. She heard someone stand again, and realized her mother must still be in the room.

"Dr. Bennett, is it?" Amy heard some muffled introductions and pulled the blankets tighter around herself. "I'll just be outside," she heard her mother say. Then louder she added, "Amy, Dr. Bennett is here." She huddled further into her blankets, squeezing her eyes shut, as if that would make the doctor—and the truth—disappear. Amy heard the swish of bootied feet on the tile and knew Sarah Bennett was standing next to her bed. She still had her eyes closed, until she felt a hand on her upper arm, gently rubbing.

"Amy." She looked up then, and saw the woman was still dressed in her scrubs, a decidedly pained look on her face. The two stared at each other for endless minutes, until Amy began to cry once more. Dr. Bennett's pressure on her arm increased, and she was blinking back her own tears. Clearing her throat didn't resolve the hoarseness in her voice. "I'm _so_, so sorry."

Amy merely nodded. What was there to say? No amount of pleading would bring her baby back. No amount of platitudes was going to take away the gnawing emptiness she now felt. She was numb except for the stabbing pain she felt in her heart.

Brushing the hair out of her face, Amy looked up at her doctor. "What happened?" Her voice was barely audible, a strained croak from post-anesthetic dryness and endless tears. Dr. Bennett pulled up the chair and sat down, putting her at eye level with her patient.

Sarah took a deep breath and met Amy's gaze squarely. "You had a miscarriage." The silence stretched between them and she added, "There was nothing anyone could have done, and believe me I tried."

Amy still wasn't fully registering her words and wondered if she was still under the influence of the anesthesia. She knew that wasn't the case. She was in shock, and for one bizarre moment she contemplated attaching electrodes to her own head to see what utter grief would look like on an EEG. She hadn't realized she'd released a twisted laugh until Dr. Bennett was asking if she was all right.

"Of course I'm not all right!" She snapped. "I just lost my baby!" Sarah straightened on the chair, not saying anything. Undoubtedly she'd witnessed all sorts of reactions in the course of her practice. Amy's ridiculous urge to laugh evaporated as quickly as it had arrived, and her voice was now calm, emotionless. "I was at my baby shower last night. Did you know that?" Amy watched Sarah visibly swallow.

"No, I didn't."

"And then Sheldon gave me the most wonderful gift," and Amy couldn't decide if she meant the pendant or what happened after. She pulled the chain from under the hospital gown, showing it to the woman sitting next to her.

"It's beautiful," Dr. Bennett said sincerely. Amy's hand closed around the free-form silver charm and yanked viciously, breaking the delicate chain. She could feel the scratch it left on her neck, and again, didn't care. She was no longer a mother; she didn't deserve to wear a symbol of her maternity. Her hand moved between the bars of the bed railing, allowing the necklace to slip from her fingers onto the floor.

Dr. Bennett sat for a minute, then bent down to pick up the broken jewelry, placing it on the nightstand next to the bed. She didn't say anything. No promises that one day she would wear it again, that she would _want_ it again, simply rescuing it from the floor before it was lost.

Amy rolled over and fixed her stare on the acoustical tile ceiling. It looked gray in the dimly lit room. "Was it a boy or a girl?"

Quietly, to her left, Amy heard, "It was a boy." Again the stab to her gut. Their little Homo Novus. Their Adam. She didn't know if Sheldon knew the child was a boy or not. He'd wanted to know, but had he? He never mentioned it, but then again, she'd made it abundantly clear she hadn't wanted a confirmation, and he hadn't even dropped any clues. It was hard to believe he hadn't held the knowledge over her with a smug grin. Maybe he hadn't known.

Feeling a renewed grip on her arm, Amy looked back over at the doctor. "I know you can't see this now, but I do believe this was for the best. There were complications. And as I told Sheldon. . ."

"Sheldon knows?! He's here?!"

Dr. Bennett blinked. "Well, yes. Didn't he bring you?" Suddenly the situation went from awful to incredibly worse. It was bad enough she had to deal with this knowledge, but now she was aware that he knew. True, there was some relief she didn't have to be the one to break it to him, but what was he thinking? He was sure to blame the loss of their child on her. Not that she didn't deserve the censure. She'd been entrusted with its life and had failed.

"I didn't want to wake him. My friend Penny is the one who brought me to the emergency room."

"I'm not sure who informed him," she said, her expression looking puzzled. "But he has a whole entourage with him."

Amy struggled to sit up straighter. "Who's here?"

"Well, your mother obviously. I didn't really have a chance to meet the others. Sheldon fainted and I was busy getting him to a room." The news was worse than she thought. Amy's focus shifted from her own misery to Sheldon's plight.

"Is he all right?"

Dr. Bennett ran a hand over her thighs. "As you can well imagine, he's quite upset. He wasn't hurt physically. He's with your friends." The doctor stood, fidgeting a bit, then reached over to take her hand again. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told him: _Neither_ of you is to blame for what happened. It wasn't your intimate relations, it wasn't anything you did or didn't do, it just wasn't to be. Had the baby come to term, he would have had extreme physical and perhaps mental handicaps. I know this is not an easy thing to hear right now, but in time you'll see this was for the best."

Glaring at the woman next to her, Amy tried to rein in her anger. "For the best? To lose my one chance at motherhood? Really, doctor, how hard did you try to save my baby?" Amy watched the color drain from Sarah's face, only to be suffused with the red of a barely contained anger of her own.

"I _assure you_, Mrs. Cooper I did everything I could. By the time you'd arrived at the emergency room the placenta had already detached itself from the uterus. There was nothing I, or anyone else for that matter, could do."

Amy covered her face with her hands, sobbing. "I'm sorry! I'm _so_ sorry Dr. Bennett! I don't know. . . ."

Sarah's hand moved to Amy's back, rubbing in large, soothing circles, as she huffed out a sigh. "It's all right, Amy. I know. It's okay. It's okay." Slowly Amy's tears came under control as she took in a gasping breath. "I'll need to give you a thorough exam, but I'm willing to bet you'll have no difficulties conceiving again."

Amy gave a rueful laugh, wiping her eyes. "You've met Sheldon. What do _you_ think the chances of that happening are?"

Dr. Bennett was quiet for longer than Amy would have liked. "He told me the two you of had been 'intimate' last evening. Perhaps in time. . ."

Amy gave an ironic chuckle. "Doctor, there's not enough time in the world for Sheldon to get over his phobias." It seemed neither of them had anything else to say to that. After a tense moment, Dr. Bennett asked,

"Do you feel up to some visitors? I'm sure Sheldon and your friends would like to see you." Panic at the thought of facing Sheldon overwhelmed her. She couldn't see him. She couldn't look into his eyes and see the recrimination. Even if he didn't say it, she knew it would be there in his gaze.

"I. . .I can't see Sheldon. Not yet. If Penny or Bernadette are there. . . ."

Nodding, Dr. Bennett said, "I'll let them know." Her hand was on Amy's arm again. "I know it's difficult to see your husband at a time like this, but believe me, the sooner you face each other, the better it will be for both of you." Amy flicked her gaze to the doctor, then back to the ceiling, bobbing her head once.

Amy closed her eyes and heard the door open, but not close. There was whispering, then the sound of heels clicking on the linoleum.

"Sweetie? Oh, God, Ames!" She hadn't seen Penny, but suddenly she was enveloped in an awkward hug. The I.V. tubbing and elevated hospital bed getting in the way. Opening her eyes, she saw her Bestie, hand poised before her mouth, tears streaking her perfect face. Bernadette stood a few feet back from the bed, looking to be struggling with her emotions as well.

Penny tried to fluff her pillow but it just made things more uncomfortable. "How are you feeling? Are you in pain?"

"Pain?" Amy asked. "Of course I'm in pain!"

"Maybe we can see about upping your meds," Bernadette offered.

"I don't think they make a medication strong enough to nullify my life." Amy was sure she sounded completely pathetic, but couldn't bring herself to care. She watched Bernadette exchange glances with Penny before stepping closer to the bed.

"Any idea how long you'll have to stay here?"

Shaking her head, Amy realized the doctor hadn't gotten to that point before fleeing the room. "She didn't say. I would imagine she'll evaluate me later. I can't imagine it will be too long. What more is there to do?" Penny started to open her mouth, then quickly shut it, looking helplessly over at Bernadette.

Amy shuffled around on the bed, unable to look at her friends any longer. She knew they meant well. She _knew_ they were concerned for her, but Bernie's eternally cheerful voice was grating on raw nerves.

"I. . .I can't talk about this right now. I thought I could, but I just _can't._" Her back was to her friends, but she could imagine them looking at each other with concern. Amy felt someone's hand on her shoulder and she flinched. She didn't deserve to be comforted. Off to her right she heard Penny's voice, very quiet.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty. . ."

"Please stop!" Amy wailed, tears falling once more. She knew Penny intended the song to be a comfort but the reminder of Sheldon was just too much. "I'm sorry," she said, trying to get her tears under control. "I know you're worried about me. I thought I needed to talk, but I need some time alone. Can you do that?" She looked over her shoulder at her friends who seemed nearly as upset as she felt. But how could they be? Had they just lost a baby? Could either of them fathom how she felt?

xxxxxx

Mary Cooper looked up at the sound of Amy's door opening. Standing, she approached the distraught looking women.

"How's she doing?"

"About as well as to be expected," Penny admitted. "Frankly, I think we may have upset her more than help," she said, looking down at her hands clasped in front of her. She shifted her gaze to Bernadette who added,

"She said we couldn't understand, since neither of us had been pregnant, much less lost a baby." She looked back up at Penny, touching her friend's arm. "I know she didn't mean anything by it. She's just hurting so badly."

Mary nodded. "I think I should have a little chat with her." She started for the door, but her way was blocked by Bernadette.

"I know you want to help, Mrs. Cooper but she asked for some time alone."

"And I can appreciate that," Mary said, placing her hands on Bernadette's shoulders, gently moving her aside. "But I think I have something that may help that poor soul. By the way, did anyone see where Shelly got off too?" Raj, Howard, Leonard, Bernadette, Penny and Anita all looked at each other and shook their heads. "Well, never mind. I'll find him after I talk to Amy." Poking her head around the door, Mary saw Amy curled up on the bed, back to the door.

"How you doin', Sugar?" It was evident Amy was crying by the sniffling sounds, and Mary didn't wait for an answer before crossing the room where she stopped next to the bed. Reaching out a hand, she rubbed Amy's shoulder. "Now you just have yourself a good ol' cry and then we'll talk." She offered Amy a clean tissue, pulling up one of the molded plastic chairs, taking a seat.

"I appreciate your intent, Mary," Amy said, blowing her nose, "But I would really like some time alone if you don't mind."

"Well, actually, I do. I have something to tell you that I hope will ease your heart in this time of trouble."

Amy pulled the blankets in tighter. "I know your religion is a comfort to you, but I'm really not up to hearing how Jesus has taken my child to his bosom."

"That isn't what I was going to say, but now that you brought it up, I'm sure the Lord has welcomed him with open arms." Mary sat still for a moment, wondering how to continue. "No, what I wanted to tell you is that I _truly _do know your pain."

Pushing the blankets off her face, Amy looked confused. "I don't understand. . . ."

Mary leaned in and took Amy's hand. "I have something to tell you even none of my children know." Moistening her dry lips, Mary took a breath. "After George junior was born, I had a miscarriage. Before Missy and Sheldon came along." Amy was now struggling to sit up.

"What happened?"

Mary dropped Amy's hand, looking away from the young woman before her, and began to smooth her hands over the skirt of her dress. "Well, I would imagine it was pretty similar to what you experienced. There was some pain, but nothing significant. Quite frankly I thought I had gas," she chuckled, then her mood turned sober once more. "But then there was the blood. Dear Lord, there was so much blood." Shaking off the memory, Mary's gaze met Amy's. "There was no one around to help me like you had Penny. It was the middle of the day, and even my mother, Sheldon's Meemaw, was off somewheres. I tried to call George, but he was out workin' the oil rigs back then, and of course there were no cell phones. . . ."

"So what did you do?"

"Drove myself to the hospital. Fortunately it was only about five minutes away. Much further and I probably would have passed out. As it was, I barely made it inside the emergency room. I kind of got their attention bleedin' all over the place as you can well imagine." Amy merely nodded.

"Well, the long and the short of it was I'd lost the baby. I wasn't very far along so I don't even know if it was a boy or a girl." This time it was Amy reaching for her hand.

"Mary, I'm so sorry." Tears were forming in her eyes once more.

"Now I'm not tellin' you this to make you feel sorry for me. I just want you to know that you _will_ get through this. I'm not saying it's going to be easy. For either you or Shelly. Or your friends for that matter, but, in time, you will find a way to move on."

Amy rolled over onto her back, staring at the ceiling. "I. . .I just feel so guilty," she whispered. "I don't know what I did, or what I could have done different. I followed all the rules Sheldon laid out for me, even if I thought they were ridiculous. . . ." Amy's eyes were squeezed shut, tears leaking from the corner of her eyelids.

Moving her hand to Amy's shoulder again, Mary patted, crooning softly. "It's gonna be alright, Darlin'." It was several minutes before Mary spoke again. "I know all about the guilt, and I'm not gonna tell you not to feel it. You're gonna and that's that. But I am gonna tell you I finally found some peace when I discovered I was pregnant with Missy and Sheldon."

Amy shifted her gaze back to her. "Weren't you scared the same thing could happen?"

Mary sat back in her chair, crossing her legs. "Oh, you have no idea how terrified I was! But a friend of mine, who'd lost a baby as well, told me that maybe the Lord had been making way for the next baby. I didn't know I was having twins at that point," she interjected. "At any rate, if the first baby had lived, this one probably wouldn't have come along. And maybe it was _this_ one the world needed." Holding up her hand to stop Amy's upcoming tirade, Mary added, "Now I know you don't cotton to the notion of Jesus having a hand in this, but who's to say he didn't? My point _is_, if that baby had lived, I likely would not have gotten pregnant with Missy and Sheldon." She shrugged, "Maybe Jesus thought the world needed Shelly more than the baby I lost."

Silence settled over the room again as Mary sat there, lost in her thoughts as Amy lay in her bed in a similar state. There really wasn't anything else to say, so Mary stood, walking to the rail of the bed.

"I'm going to see if I can find Sheldon and send him to you." Amy started to protest, but Mary was adamant. "It's not going to be easy for you to see him, but you _have_ to. You let this fester and you'll regret it. Mark my words."

"All right," Amy sighed, and Mary recognized the exhaustion in her voice. She knew how difficult it was going to be for Amy to face Sheldon. To acknowledge she'd lost the baby. Hadn't she been through the same thing with George? It had been one of the hardest things she'd ever had to do, but in the long run, it had been the right thing to do. One day, Amy and Sheldon would see that as well.

xxxxxx

Sheldon sat on the hard, wooden pew, looking around the small hospital chapel. Other than the few rows of benches, there was little about the room that resembled a traditional church. He supposed since the space catered to several faiths, the look had to be somewhat generic. The lighting was low, and there were candles, plus a selection of varying religious texts.

He was tempted to pick up the Christian Bible because of the moderately comforting memories he associated with his mother, but opted not to. He'd been forced to read the scriptures in his youth and remembered it all; there was no need to page through the book to know what it contained.

He never understood the appeal of religion until perhaps that moment. The thought that there was someone,some_ thing_ that could be called upon or blamed for circumstances beyond one's control. That losing the baby wasn't because of something he or Amy had done, but a higher power had intervened and took their child. Even in all his pain and grief he still couldn't embrace that idea. Everything about religion involved conjecture where as everything in science was based on fact. Perhaps those facts started out as someone's conjecture, but once it was proven, it was hard to dispute it. He prided himself on being a man of science. A man of truth. If someone could come along and offer him conclusive evidence of a deity's existence he'd be the first one in line to become a convert.

He supposed in a way it was a somewhat hypocritical viewpoint seeing as he dealt in _theoretical_ physics. Up until his theories were proven, he had to have _faith_ they were correct. Isn't that what religion was about? Believing in something that couldn't been seen, or touched? When was the last time he _touched_ an equation? He could write it out, but he couldn't physically hold it unless it represented something tangible.

Suddenly, Sheldon stopped his train of thought. _Where was all this coming from?_ He knew, of course, he just didn't want to face it. If he was mentally rambling on about religion, there was no space in his cognitive thoughts to think about the baby. To think about Amy. To think about where life went from here.

Sheldon rested his head in his hands, elbows propped on his knees. If only he hadn't been so swept up in a torrent of emotion. If he hadn't allowed his base instincts to pollute his pristine mind. Leonard and Penny kept telling him there was no harm in feeling emotions, in feeling something for Amy, but clearly they were wrong. He gave into his feelings, his desire for her, and now their baby was gone. Not just gone. Dead. The word echoed through his mind making him feel physically ill.

"Well, this is the last place I thought I would find you." His mother's voice was soft, filled with irony. Looking up, Sheldon saw her figure outlined against the harsh lighting of the corridor.

"It's not what you think," he said, turning his attention forward once more. "I needed some place quiet to think. To sort through everything." She hadn't moved from her spot in the doorway and Sheldon began to twitch under her scrutiny.

"Do you mind if I join you?"

Sheldon glanced back over his shoulder. "I don't have exclusive rights to this space." He heard the intake of her breath.

"I know you're hurting, Shelly, but I'll take none of your sass!"

"Yes, Ma'am," he automatically mumbled, and although the chamber was carpeted, he still heard the sound of her footfalls as she approached him. He looked up when she stopped at the end of the pew. She was reaching out to touch his shoulder, but retracted her hand before there was any contact.

"May I?" she asked, nodding to the place next to him. Sliding over, Sheldon created a space for her. For the longest time they sat side-by-side, saying nothing, just staring forward. About the time he was going to ask if there was something specific she wanted, his mother turned to him and placed the hand she'd restrained earlier on his knee. He started to pull back, but she only gripped the joint tighter.

"Shelly, I am truly sorry for the blow the Lord has dealt you this day." Sheldon decided his mother wasn't purposely trying to rile him up, and he was just too tired to argue with her.

"Thanks, Mom," he said, looking down at his hands wedged between his knees. Darting a quick glance out of the corner of his eye, Sheldon watched his mother fighting back tears. She was looking at the ceiling, blinking rapidly, struggling to swallow.

"I _do _know how difficult this is for you, son." Her voice was hoarse, and he didn't trust his own. Nodding vigorously, he felt his own flood gates open up, and the anguish he'd been feeling since Dr. Bennett had confirmed the loss of their child bubbled to the surface and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

"There, now, Shelly," she crooned, wrapping her arms around him, "Mamma's here." As the tears streamed down his face, Sheldon buried his face in his mother's bosom, relishing the warm arms surrounding him. She rocked him slightly, and he realized she was humming, the same tune she used to sing to he and Missy when they were infants.

"Mom?"

"Yes, Baby?"

"When Amy told me she was pregnant I was angry. I was so mad that this had happened, and that my life was going to be ruined. I was going to break up with her," he confessed, not even attempting to cling to the lie he'd previously told his mother.

"But you didn't. You accepted your responsibilities. And while I'm still not happy about you sinning, I am proud of you for doing the right thing and marrying Amy."

"But that's just it. I didn't want to marry her. I didn't want her disrupting my life and I didn't want a baby making things even worse."

Mary squeezed him tighter. "Sheldon, no one wants their life to change when they're happy with it. And there's nothing on this planet that's a bigger change than bringing a new life into it. I don't blame you for being scared. Every one of you kids scared the living daylights out of me, but we got through it, and you would have too."

Sitting up slightly, Sheldon looked at his mother. "But that's what I'm trying to tell you! I _didn't_ want it, and now that it's gone I should feel relieved but I _don't_! All I can think of is that my baby, my boy is dead!" He burrowed into her once more, shaking with sobs. Mary didn't say anything, just held him rubbing his back, stroking his hair. He could smell the slight scent of cinnamon that always seemed to cling to her, the way it did to Meemaw. It smelled like home, like comfort, making him feel there wasn't any obstacle too large his mother couldn't banish.

Sheldon heard his mother clear her throat and begin to talk softly. "I never thought I'd be telling this story again, and yet, here I am, telling it twice in one day." She took a deep breath and continued. "I never told any of you kids this, but between George and you and Missy, I had a miscarriage." It took a moment for the words to register, but suddenly, Sheldon bolted upright, staring at his mother.

"You had another baby?"

"No, I was pregnant, but I lost the baby. In much the same way Amy did," she added quietly. Sheldon stared vacantly, unable to fathom he might have had another sibling.

"Did you fall? Did Daddy hit you?"

"No, Sheldon. Your father and I were getting along at that point. Besides, you know darn well he never hit me. I wouldn't have stood for it. Now I'm not sayin' we didn't argue or have fights that raised the roof, but he never got physical with me." Sheldon nodded his head. He'd never _seen_ his father strike his mother, but George junior talked so much about what he'd do if their daddy ever did, he'd almost come to think of it as fact.

"Like I said, I was just standing in the kitchen, and then suddenly, I was bleeding. I didn't think much of it at first. The doctor said there might be some spotting. But it wasn't long before I caught on that this wasn't normal. But it was in the middle of the day and there was no one to call. Not even Meemaw."

Sheldon thought about how awful it was she'd had to face that on her own. Much like Amy had when she chose not to wake him. At least she'd had Penny. Still, he couldn't help but feel guilty for what had happened. Dr. Bennett could deny it all she wanted, but he knew it was Amy's state of arousal that brought this on.

Scooting away from his mother, Sheldon looked away, unable to look at her as he confessed, "I'm the one to blame for Amy losing the baby."

Mary's voice was incredulous. "What ever do you mean, Shelly? I know my Baby and I know you couldn't hurt someone physically if you tried. Now making some insensitive crack, that's another thing."

Sheldon turned back and stared into her eyes. "No, Mom. It was me! I gave Amy a present after the shower and she was kissing me because she liked it."

"I doubt that was the only reason she was kissing you," she said under her breath, but his superior hearing caught the remark.

"Of course it wasn't the only reason she was kissing me. She's my wife. She _likes_ kissing me. Though, I'm not sure what all the fuss is about."

"So you're telling me you don't like to kiss Amy?" At that, Sheldon felt his face grow hot. If it were Leonard, he would have denied it instantly. But this was his mother. The woman who knew him perhaps even better than Amy did.

"I didn't at first," he tried, hoping his weak excuse would get his mother off the topic of his intimacy with Amy.

"But now you like it, right?"

"That's not the point." Sheldon was starting to fidget and he knew his mother would see through his attempt at denial.

Mary held up her hand. "Now let me get this straight. You and Amy were having. . .or about to have. . .'marital relations,' and you think that's why she lost the baby?"

He was so grateful he hadn't had to spell it out to his mother that he just sighed, "Yes!" The concerned frown on her face switched to one of amusement which she was trying to contain.

"Oh, Sugar, that's not what happened! It was just a coincidence! A poorly timed one, mind you, but it was nothing either of you did!"

"Well, she was rather worked up!" Sheldon defended.

Mary covered her mouth and looked to the floor. "I'm sure she was, Darlin'."

It seemed to Sheldon his mother wasn't taking him seriously, but he wasn't about to go into specific detail of what happened. He felt his mother grasp his hand and his first reaction hadn't been to pull it back. He'd been noticing that lately. That his first reaction to someone touching him wasn't to jerk back with revulsion. Not that he welcomed being touched, but it wasn't as abhorrent as it had been a few short months ago. _Fascinating._

"Lamb chop, You need to go talk to Amy."

Sheldon's head whipped around, gazing at his mother in shock. "I can't!" he said, feeling the bubble of panic starting to manifest low in his chest. "I can't face her when I'm the reason she lost the baby!"

"Sheldon!" his mother barked, her usual no-nonsense tone back in her voice. "We've just been through this! You are _not_ the reason she lost the baby!" He stood from the pew and began pacing. He'd been trying so hard to sit still. This wasn't an actual church, but it was close enough that he'd tried to remain still out of respect. Now he couldn't stop his movement.

"She's going to blame me! She knows it was me!"

Mary sighed and climbed to her feet, placing her hands on her hips. "Sheldon Lee Cooper, you listen to me. That girl is facing a world of hurt right now and whether she knows it or not, she needs to see you. To know there's someone else that understands what this loss means. And she needs to know you love her."

His head thrust up at her words. _Love her? He didn't _love_ Amy! He cared deeply for her, had her well-being in mind most of the time, but he didn't feel some hippie emotion for her!_ He couldn't tell his mother that, though. After all, the lie was the reason they'd predicated their whole marriage on. The reason they were having. . .had a baby. Still, the thought of facing an utterly distraught Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper was beyond his ability. He would send her a text message. After all, it was the way they'd always communicated best.

Sheldon pulled out his phone and began tapping the screen when suddenly it was ripped from his hand.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Glancing up and attempting to retrieve his phone, Sheldon gaped at his mother. It should have been perfectly obvious what he was doing. Sometimes the people around him could be so obtuse.

"I'm sending Amy a text, inquiring about her state of health. Now, if I may have my phone back please, I would like to continue my message."

"You're. . . .! Come on!" Mary grasped his arm in an iron grip and began pulling him towards the exit. "You're going to speak to her in person even if she doesn't want you there. If you don't face her now, the two of you will never get past this!"

Sheldon dug in his heels and refused to be moved any further. "Mom, I can't. I just _can't_!"

Mary dropped her hand in defeat, visibly sagging before him. "Shelly," she said quietly, "I've fought a lot of battles for you over the years, but this is one you're going to have to do by yourself. You're the only one who can give that girl even a tiny bit of absolution. You think you're hurting over this? Try thinking of it from her end. Carrying a life for six months and suddenly it's gone. I know you're feeling guilty over this, but think how she feels. She's been responsible for it's care and she's going to think that time she had a sip of wine or stumbled over the threshold is the reason she's no longer pregnant." His mother was crying now, the memories of the emotional pain of her own miscarriage obviously overwhelming her. "Don't make her go through that alone."

Swallowing back his own emotion, Sheldon gave his mother a slight nod, and stood taller. Amy needed him. Somehow, from somewhere he would find the strength to face her.


	28. Chapter 28

**_28_**

Rajesh sat alone on a double seat in the waiting area close to Amy's room. Anita was pacing, alternating between adjusting her clothing to checking her watch. Howard and Bernadette sat together, Howard's arm casually slung over his wife's shoulders. Penny and Leonard were cozied up as well, talking quietly among themselves. He never had felt so alone.

He knew he wasn't part of Amy's biological family, but she _was_ part of his world. All his friends were. He did have a special attachment to Amy and Sheldon, though. He felt as if it was _his_ baby that was now gone, and in a way, it was. He'd gotten closer to Amy during their Lamaze classes. Not in a sexual way, but seeing a side of her the rest of their friends didn't get to see. She had an inner strength that wasn't readily apparent, and it was his belief, his _hope_, that that strength would see her and Sheldon through this difficult time.

He was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't noticed Penny moving to the space beside him. Raj felt her arm slide around his shoulders, but she didn't say anything until he turned to look at her.

"How are you doing, Sweetie?"

Swallowing down the tears threatening to fall at her concern, Raj bobbed his head. "I'm okay. I'll be okay." He couldn't look at her because he knew if he saw the sympathy in Penny's eyes, he _would_ lose it. She was rubbing his arm, murmuring words of comfort, and he found he couldn't keep his emotions in check any longer, and began to weep, hanging his head as Penny squeezed harder.

"It's going to be okay," she soothed.

Raj raised a hand to wipe his tears, giving an ironic chuckle. "It's not even my baby."

"That's not true! You were a part of the baby's life as much as Sheldon. Maybe even more so."

Clearing his throat, he looked over at Penny. "I think he was really starting to come around. Last week I caught him Googling birthing classes."

"That's just because he was jealous of what you and Amy were doing."

"I don't think so," he said, starting to regain his composure. "I think he was taking a genuine interest in what was going on with Amy. And starting to imagine what life with a baby was going to mean for them."

Penny pulled her arms away from him and he missed her warmth. "I disagree," she said. "Anytime I've talked to him, all he can do was gripe about what an inconvenience the baby was going to be."

"Dude! This is _Sheldon_ we're talking about! Anyone would be scared what a baby is going to do to their life. Add in that change in any form blows his world apart, and of course all he's going to do is complain! I think in his own way he was trying to come to grips with what was coming. And just when he was starting to accept that, the baby is gone."

The words struck home once more and Raj felt something heavy in the pit of his stomach. He really had been looking forward to helping take care of the baby, even the nasty chores of diaper changing. He was even planning on setting up a place for the baby in his apartment so if Amy and Sheldon needed a break, he could babysit at home. He probably shouldn't admit that to anyone, he thought. His friends already thought he was too involved in the couple's life. And maybe he was, but given his current single status, he looked at experiencing fatherhood vicariously through the Coopers as his only option.

"I wish I could see her," he sighed, gaze dropping to the hands clasped on his lap.

Sitting up straighter, Penny tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Well, you're probably better off waiting a little while. She wasn't really up for visitors when we saw her. Not that I can blame her." She exhaled, causing Raj to look over at her. She was struggling with her own tears, and this time Raj was able to return the favor of a hug.

"She's going to need a lot of support, but we'll all be there for her. For them." Penny dabbed at her eyes, nodding. Raj looked up to find Leonard's worried gaze focused on Penny. She gave him a little wave to let him know she was all right, and Raj watched him relax slightly. Once again he envied their closeness, and tried to reassure himself that his time would come. Still, it was hard to think of Amy and Sheldon without the prospect of the baby. It had been the baby that brought them into their marriage. What would happen now that their reason for being together was gone?

Penny turned back to Raj. "I wonder if Mary's found Sheldon. She's been gone an awfully long time." Pulling his phone from his pants pocket, Raj checked the time. It _had_ been a long time. Nearly an hour.

"I'm guessing she did. Look at how late it's gotten." He turned the phone around, watching as Penny registered the time.

"Eight o'clock? How did it get so late?" she cried, leaping to her feet, reaching for her own phone. "I was supposed to be at work an hour ago!" As Penny tapped the phone icon, Raj looked over at Leonard.

"Since when does she work the morning shift?"

"Since she needed last night off for the shower. She traded with Melissa."

"Wait," Raj said, rubbing his brow. "She traded for a shift in the _morning_ after a night she knew she would be _drinking?_ What was she thinking?"

Leonard shrugged. "I told her she was crazy, but she said Melissa was the only one who would switch with her. I'm guessing her manager is going to be plenty pissed."

"I'm sorry, Devon! Yeah, I know I needed off last night for a baby shower, I was hosting it!" Penny rolled her eyes. "I _told_ you I'm at the hospital. My friend had a miscarriage last night, well, early this morning. Yes, the same one!" Penny's arm were crossed over her chest, holding the phone to her right ear, pacing the small waiting area. "Well, yes, it _is_ rather ironic, isn't it? How the hell you think I feel?" she yelled into the phone. "She's my best friend! Look, do what you have to do, dock my pay, suspend me, whatever, but I'm not leaving this hospital until they make me!" Penny hit "end" on her phone with such force, Raj was surprised the device didn't fly across the room. "Asshole!"

"Honey. . . ."

"Don't, Leonard! Just. . .don't!" She dodged his reaching hands, storming into the hallway. "God I miss regular phones! How do you slam a cell phone down on someone?!"

"You know," Howard said, turning to Bernadette, "We should be thinking about getting to work as well."

"Go ahead!" Bernadette snapped. "I'm not leaving Amy any more than Penny is!"

"Sweetie, I just thought _I _should get going. I understand you want to be here for your friend." Howard's voice was placating, and Raj realized he'd had years of practice trying to talk his mother down.

Bernadette was still scowling. "You said _'we'_."

"I meant Leonard and I." _Smooth, _Raj thought. "You can stay here as long as you want, but you might want to call in," Howard suggested.

The fight seemed to drain out of Bernadette. "You're right," she sighed. "I didn't mean to yell at you, Howie. I'm just worried about Amy." Suddenly, Bernadette's arms were wrapped around her husband and she was kissing him. And getting a little carried away with it as well, Raj observed. Behind them he heard someone clear their throat.

"I thought we could all use some coffee." Looking up, Raj saw Amy's mother with a cardboard tray filled with disposable cups. "I didn't know how anyone took theirs, so cream and sugar are on the side." There was a chorus of "Thank you, Mrs. Fowlers" as she distributed cups to the grateful group. "Has anyone seen Sheldon, yet?" she asked, the edge to her voice made her displeasure with her unaccounted for son-in-law abundantly clear.

"Not yet," Raj said, taking extra cream and sugar. "Mrs. Cooper is still missing as well. I'm guessing she's found him." Anita made a nondescript noise, taking a sip of her own beverage.

Raj watched her silently counting the group of friends. "Who's with Amy?"

"Um, no one at the moment," Bernadette spoke up. "She asked to be left alone." She looked around at her friends then added, "I think we were all waiting for her to talk to Sheldon first."

"This is unacceptable!" Anita said, slamming down her coffee on an end table, causing it to slosh onto the Formica. Before anyone could say anything, Anita was stalking towards Amy's room muttering something about how she should have stopped this the moment Amy introduced her to Sheldon.

"What was that all about?" Penny asked, looking around, trying to gauge everyone else's reactions.

"Amy's mom doesn't like Sheldon," Raj piped up. "Amy told me when we were painting the nursery, although, I'd already figured it out."

Howard looked to Bernadette, then over to Raj. "What's she got against Sheldon? I know what _I_ have against him, but he's seemed polite enough when talking to her."

"I think she thinks Sheldon took advantage of Amy," Raj said.

Choking on his coffee, Howard's eyes went wide. "Really? Because from where I'm sitting, it was the other way around."

Bernadette elbowed her husband in the ribs. "It's not like she was hunting him down for sex!"

"Well, she certainly made it no secret she wanted more from Sheldon! Look," he said, sliding his hands up and down over Bernadette's arms, "I'm just not sure how Sheldon ends up being the bad guy in all this when he's been trying to do the right thing." Suddenly, Howard stopped moving his hands and stared off into space. "I can't believe I just defended Sheldon Cooper."

Just then, Mary walked up, a paler than usual Sheldon in tow. "Let's go, Shelly, that girl needs to see you." Penny broke from the group and wound an arm around Sheldon's shoulders.

"It's going to be okay, Sweetie," she said softly. Sheldon stiffened under her attempt at comfort, and Penny let her arm drop. "Your mom's right. You do need to go see her." Sheldon's head gave a single bob and his gaze met that of all his friends gathered in the waiting room.

"I. . .I want to thank you all for the support you've offered me."

"We're here for you, Buddy," Leonard said, clapping him on the shoulder. With one last gentle push from his mother, Sheldon swallowed, inhaled and turned towards Amy's door.

xxxxxx

Sheldon pushed the heavy door to Amy's room open just enough to see it was dark. Maybe she was sleeping and he should come back later . . . . Just as he was about to leave, he heard Anita's voice.

"Sheldon? Come in, please." It was a command. He scooted around the weighty door, the click of the latch sounding like the crack of a pistol. There wasn't much light coming from the curtained windows, but he could make out Mrs. Fowler's form sitting next to Amy's bed. His wife was lying on her side, facing him, with her back towards her mother. Amy's sad, tired eyes looked up at him, and she blinked slowly, almost as if she were drugged. Maybe she was. Maybe they'd given her something for the pain.

"Hello, Amy," he ventured.

She blinked again, then said, "Hello, Sheldon." Her voice was hoarse and he felt like something was trying to squirm its way out of his stomach. Hearing the scrape of a a chair, he looked to see Amy's mother standing. She pressed a cup with a straw into his hands.

"See if you can get her to drink. Even though she's on an I.V. she needs fluids. They won't let her come home until she can go to the bathroom on her own." Sheldon was embarrassed by Anita's mention of bodily functions. "I'll leave you two alone," she said. Touching Amy's arm, she reassured her daughter she would return in a few minutes. She gave Sheldon a hard stare, and left the room without another word.

Now that Anita had left, Amy rolled over so he was now presented with her back. For the longest time, neither spoke and Sheldon began to wonder if they would ever break the silence. Sheldon bit down slightly on his lower lip, apprehensive about approaching her.

"Are you in a lot of pain?" Amy's voice was hoarse, whether from disuse or post-surgical dryness, he couldn't say.

"No. Not physically, anyway." He stood, frozen, for a few more tense moments before moving around the bed so he could see her face. She pulled the blankets over her head before rolling slowly to her other side so her back was to him once more.

"Amy, why won't you look at me?" He heard her crying now, face still pressed into her sheets.

"You know why."

Sheldon was truly puzzled. "If I knew why, I wouldn't be asking you."

"Your mother made you come in here, didn't she?" Sheldon didn't answer and his silence seemed to be the catalyst Amy needed to look up at him. Her eyes were red, still filled with tears, and something else. She looked so weary, so

lost that Sheldon wished he knew what to say to make her feel better.

"You don't have to stay," she said, rolling onto her back to stare at the ceiling.

"I want to know why you won't talk to me."

"Why do you think, Sheldon? Why did your mother have to threaten you to get you to come here?"

Sheldon was picking at a thread on the corner of Amy's sheets. "She didn't threaten me." Amy's gaze landed fully on him.

"Really? Then where have you been?"

"I. . .I was talking to your doctor." He couldn't tell her he'd been afraid to face her, that he was scared he was going to have to deal with an over-emotional Amy Farrah Fowler-Cooper and he wouldn't know how to do that. That he was fighting with his guilt she couldn't count on him to bring her to the hospital. That she had to go to Penny to get the help she needed.

"Nice try," she said, resuming her inspection of the ceiling. "I saw Dr. Bennett. She made it sound as if you were waiting with Penny and the others.

"I was going to, but the thought of them all telling me how sorry they were. . . . I couldn't do it," he confessed. "I went looking for some place to think. I wasn't avoiding you. At least not at first."

She rolled back over to look at him. "Not at first? So you _have_ been avoiding me?"

He didn't know how to answer her. "No more than you've been avoiding me," he accused. "You didn't even want to look at me when I came in." Amy blew out a breath, turning away from him once more.

"Sheldon, I lost our baby," she said so quietly, even he had to strain to hear her. Amy's eyes were squeezed shut and tears were leaking out the sides of her eyes. "I. . .I can't bear to see your disappointment in me." She was sobbing in earnest now and he didn't know if he should touch her, leave the room, or try to allay her fears. To try to convince her that he wasn't disappointed in her. If anything, he was upset with himself for having no self-control where she was concerned.

"Amy," he whispered. "I didn't want to see you because I didn't want you to blame me."

She was facing him again. "Blame you?" She sniffed, "What did you do wrong?" _How could she not know? Not realize his lust was what started this chain of events?_

"If I hadn't kissed you back, you wouldn't have gotten so 'carried away'." Sheldon could feel his face heating up. He hated talking about sex with anyone, but particularly with her. "If you hadn't. . . ."

"Become so aroused?" She supplied.

"Yes! Thank you!" He breathed, grateful he didn't have to actually say the word. "If you'd just gone to bed like usual. . ."

"No!" Amy interrupted. "You said you talked to Dr. Bennett. She told me our. . .bedroom activities had nothing to do with . . .losing the baby. Didn't she tell you the same thing?"

Sheldon's gaze was focused on the rail of her bed, and a missing section of paint. Without thinking, he began running his finger over the spot. "Well, yes, but she was just saying that." He looked up at her. "How could it not have been what started things in motion?"

Amy's face scrunched up in an effort not to cry. "Sheldon, I hadn't felt the baby move all day," she whispered, but she may as well have shouted it. "I didn't think it was any big deal because there are lots of stories of women whose babies stop moving for a time, and nothing is wrong. Penny had the shower planned so I decided I would try to stop worrying and have a good time."

"It must have worked," he said softly. "You said you had a good time."

Amy swallowed and took a tiny breath. "I did. And then you gave me the necklace." Sheldon's gaze followed the line of her sight and he saw the pendant with it's broken chain resting on the nightstand. He started to reach for it, but Amy stopped him.

"Leave it. I don't deserve it." Her voice had turned cold and bitter, and he wondered why she felt she was no longer worthy of his gift.

"Amy, why did you take it off? Did it break? I can have it fixed. Howard could probably . . . ."

The look she gave him was hard as gemstones. "I don't deserve a gift celebrating motherhood when I killed our baby!" Sheldon's mouth dropped open. _How could she think she_ _was responsible? _

Amy had her face buried in her hands. "I should have went to the doctor's when I didn't feel anything," she sobbed. "I'd just heard so many stories about nervous mothers, thinking every twinge was something to be concerned about, and I didn't want to be one of those women." Tears were streaming down her face as she looked back at him. "There was just no sign something was really wrong. No blood, no cramps, nothing!" Amy was practically shouting and Sheldon just stood there, staring at her with no clue what to say or do.

"Umm . . . ."

Wiping her eyes, Amy struggled to sit up, and before Sheldon thought to help her, she had her back against the pillows. The next words she spoke were calm, her usual voice.

"My mother has asked me to come stay with her for a little while, and I think I'm going to." She was staring down at the blankets, and Sheldon wished he could see her eyes. Body language was so difficult for him to interpret, but he was getting better about reading Amy's emotions when he could see her eyes. Everything she felt seemed to be reflected there.

"I see," he said. "Is it because you think I can't take care of you? Because the Marriage Agreement states . . ."

She gave him a wan smile. "I know you're capable of taking care of me, Sheldon. I just think some time apart would do us both some good." He wanted to tell her he thought it was a bad idea. That she should let him take her home and try to make up for making her lose the baby. Maybe if he promised not to touch her? Instead, all he said was,

"I see. If you think that's best." Amy's gaze locked on his. She looked sad. _Why does she look sad when she says this is what she wants? _

"I do. I'm not sure when I can leave, but if you could bring the bag I already had packed . . . ." Amy was biting her lip, her voice wavered, and she added, "That will have what I'll need for a few days at my mother's. Penny can probably help you pick out some clothes."

Sheldon merely nodded, not sure he trusted his own voice. He should feel relieved Amy was giving him some time to himself to adjust to this latest upheaval in his life. So how come it seemed so wrong?


	29. Chapter 29

**_A/N: Thank you all for reading and for your continued support!_**

**_29_**

Amy looked around her old bedroom with a sigh. Her mother had changed nothing since she'd moved out, and it seemed a little weird to see this shrine to her former life. Standing in the doorway, she felt like that seventeen year-old girl, unsure where life was taking her. She'd attended college early, so excited to have a new chance at friends, academics and maybe even a boyfriend. It seemed incredible that in fifteen years her mother hadn't made over her room. And a little creepy, as if she was waiting for the prodigal return of her offspring. That no matter how misspent her youth, her mother was there to welcome her.

"Things are still the way you left them!" Anita spoke brightly, as if the unchanged, dust-less room was a treat for her daughter.

Amy dropped her travel bag onto the bed. "I see that. Mom, how come you _haven't _changed things?"

"Well, it's _your_ room, Amy! I want you to know you'll always have a place here. No matter what."

_Definitely creepy_, Amy thought as she gazed at the trappings of her former life. It was as if her mother was trying to hold onto her daughter any way she could. She heard the knock at the front door and remembered Penny and Bernadette had followed her and Anita from the hospital. At Amy's request, the women had picked out a few outfits for her, and volunteered to help her get settled back at her mother's house.

"Come in! Come in!" Anita welcomed warmly, holding the door for her friends. Amy looked back towards the entryway, suddenly overcome by memories of her high school days, and how she would have given anything to have two beautiful girls standing in her home. "Right this way!" Her mother called, ushering the two forward.

Penny and Bernadette stepped into her room, and Amy watched their mouths drop open.

"Kind of surreal, isn't it?"

"That's one word for it," Penny muttered.

"I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone," Bernie added, looking around. This is. . ."

"Creepy," the three of them said at the same time.

"Where are your crayon drawings from kindergarten?" Penny quipped, and was astounded when Amy pulled open a drawer revealing a stack of construction paper drawings. "Wow," was all she could manage. "Has your mom always been this. . .attached. . .to you?"

Amy nodded. "You should have seen the fuss she made when I went off to college."

"I can imagine," Bernadette put in, a look akin to horror still gracing her features.

Draping skirts and sweaters over the bed, Penny tried one more time to convince her not to stay. "Ames, are you _sure_ you want to stay here? I really think you should come home, to Los Robles. If you need anything, I'll be right across the hall and . . . ."

"I'm sure," she said firmly, hoping if she repeated it enough times, she'd come to believe it herself. "Sheldon needs some time. Some space to absorb this." She looked down at the floor, twisting her fingers together. "We both do." Penny rubbed her back, blinking back tears.

"I don't know about the space, so much. He's asked Leonard to move back in while you're gone."

Amy's head popped up. "He has? I thought he'd be happy to have the apartment to himself."

"You would think with Sheldon always hiding in his room, but I think deep down he likes having someone there. I'm _sure_ he wishes it was you."

Amy wanted to believe that, but it just wasn't true. Sheldon had made allowances for her to move in with him, but she didn't think he ever _liked_ having her there. Wasn't asking Leonard back evidence enough? Penny poked her in the chest.

"Just make sure you're not gone too long. I don't mind lending Leonard out to help a friend, but I'm not about to have Sheldon co-opt him! We've got a good thing going now that we've made some adjustments and I'm not going to let Sheldon steal him back!" For some reason the thought of Leonard being caught in a tug-of-war between Sheldon and Penny struck her as funny, but Amy couldn't tell her that.

Looking around the room, she said, "I really don't hope it's long either," but she didn't think she and Penny were contemplating it for the same reasons. Sheldon had married her because of the baby. There was no baby, ergo, no need for them to be married. Once she told him, Amy was sure Sheldon would be relieved to return to his former existence. She could find a new apartment and begin again as well. If only she wanted to return to her life before Sheldon.

Living with Sheldon hadn't turned out the way she'd imagined, but that didn't mean it was bad. Admittedly, she'd fantasized of a more romantic existence, but the reality was satisfying as well. Just knowing he was there at the end of her day meant a lot. Their conversations were lively and even if they ate the same meal week in and week out, at least it was shared.

"So what do you say, Amy?" Bernadette asked.

"I'm sorry, What was the question?"

Bernie sighed. "Penny said we should go to dinner, and then maybe have a short girl's night."

Amy shook her head. "Not here."

"Hell, no!" Penny proclaimed. Amy didn't really want to go out, but the thought of being alone in the house with her mother was worse. She began to wonder why she'd agreed to come back here from the hospital. If she'd had another choice, she wouldn't have. She couldn't have gone to Penny's—too close to Sheldon. Bernadette wasn't an option either—too small an apartment. Maybe she should have gone to a hotel, but she knew her mother wouldn't have stood for it.

"Sounds great," Amy said, pasting on a semblance of a smile. At least it would get her out of her mother's orbit for a little while.

xxxxxx

Sheldon sat in his spot, staring at his phone. Amy had returned his text asking how she was faring and if she'd settled into her mother's, but it was short, nothing like their communications of old. **_I'm fine, made it to Mother's. Girls night with P and B._**Sheldon took that to mean Penny and Bernadette had kidnapped Amy and were forcing alcohol down her throat. He wasn't so sure that was a good idea seeing as she'd just been released from the hospital.

He'd wanted to pick her up, but Amy, and Anita assured him they could transport her to Anita's house without assistance. In the past he would have been grateful to not be involved, but he wanted to see Amy, however briefly, to make sure for himself she was being taken care of.

Leonard was in his kitchen making tea. He was glad he'd asked his former roommate to come stay with him; he just didn't like the thought of being in the apartment alone. His life was such a jumble he didn't know what to think. Seeing Leonard standing by the island, Sheldon had a moment of deja vu. That is he _would _have had a moment of deja vu if he believed in such a thing. Amy could explain how a person's brain was tricked into believing a current event was being re-lived, but Amy wasn't there. She wasn't even at her mother's. He sighed, thinking of her out with Penny and Bernadette. _He_ knew she would rather be some place quiet where she could work through her loss of the baby. How was it her friends couldn't see that?

Leonard was handing him a mug, breaking his train of thought. It was the yellow one. Feeling a stab in his chest, he accepted the tea without comment.

"You feeling okay, Buddy?"

Sheldon took a sip from the cup, finding he was having a difficult time swallowing. "Yes, thank you. And thank you for the tea."

"Okay, who are you and what have you done with Sheldon?" Leonard laughed, taking the seat adjacent to him, causing Sheldon to simply glare at him. Leonard chuckled again. "Oh! There he is!"

"Really, Leonard?"

Leonard was squirming in the beige chair. "That was pretty lame, wasn't it?" His attention was focused on the mug in his hands, occasionally sneaking glances Sheldon's way. Sheldon pretended not to notice. If he commented on Leonard's actions, he would take it as a sign to start talking again. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to be alone, but he didn't want to talk. Maybe he should finish his tea and go to his room.

The only trouble was, it was no longer only _his_ room. He found no solace there. Everywhere he looked there was evidence of Amy. The side of the bed she slept on. Her underthings in the lowest drawer of the dresser. Her favorite monkey figurine she insisted on placing next to his Batman statuette. Nothing overt, but a whisper of her presence, a constant reminder she wasn't there.

"Want to get a pizza?"

Sheldon refocused on Leonard. "It's not Thursday," he needlessly pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. I just thought. . .Sheldon, you need to eat something." Sheldon gazed off, then decided,

"Grilled cheese. Grilled cheese is acceptable as a spontaneous food." Shaking his head, Leonard rose to make him a sandwich. "Do we have any tomato soup?" Sheldon asked.

"I'll check. I'm not sure what you guys have in your cupboards." Sheldon moved around in his seat. As much as it seemed like old times, the statement drove home Leonard now lived across the hall with Penny, and he was alone.

Finishing his tea, Sheldon joined Leonard in the kitchen, taking a seat at the island, watching him gather ingredients. As luck would have it, there was a can of tomato, and Sheldon imagined the comforting warmth of the soup. Up until that point, he hadn't realized he was hungry.

"So, have you heard from Amy?" Leonard asked, fumbling with the can opener until Sheldon took it from him.

"You really have no skill in the kitchen, do you?" Sheldon asked rhetorically. Deftly opening the can, he handed it back to Leonard. "According to her text, she arrived safely at her mother's and Penny and Bernadette are taking her out for a night of debauchery."

"'Debauchery?' And really, all you did was _text_ her?"

"In the first place, whenever Bernadette and Penny get ahold of Amy there's always alcohol involved. Of course I don't approve when she's only recently been released from the hospital. I was able to get a copy of her discharge records and she's still on pain medication so the combination is extremely ill-advised."

"Wait a second. How did you get a copy of her records? What about HIPPA?"

"What about it? The records are electronic, and while I don't engage in 'hacking' it doesn't mean I don't know how should the need arise."

Leonard shook his head. "You could go to jail for something like that!"

Now it was Sheldon who was crossing his arms over his chest, shaking his head. "I highly doubt I would be arrested for gaining access to my wife's records."

"You could if she finds out and files a complaint!"

"Leonard, I realize you're concerned for my welfare, for which I am grateful, but you seem to think Amy would react negatively to my interest. I assure you, she would find it an endearing gesture."

Leonard's brow wrinkled. "'Endearing gesture?' How do you figure that?"

Sheldon couldn't believe he had to explain this. Wasn't it self-evident? "That I care about her enough to go to the effort of finding out her state of health!"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Leonard tried again. "Sheldon, you need to _talk_ to Amy. Actually speak to her, or better yet, go _see_ her."

"As I've already pointed out, your girlfriend has whisked her away for a night of carousing. I couldn't speak to her even if I wanted to, which I don't, since she made it clear she and her mother could handle her after-care."

"You know Amy," Leonard said, flipping the sandwich over. "She's trying not to be a bother, and Anita feels no one is capable of properly taking care of her daughter."

"She's made that more than evident," Sheldon sighed, placing his arm on the counter, propping his chin on his palm. "We never should have Skyped her mother years ago. She's never going to let it go, even though it was a joke."

Leonard was muttering under his breath, "Sounds like someone else I know."

"I heard that, you know."

Giving the soup a stir, Leonard admitted, "Yeah, I know." They were silent until Leonard slid Sheldon's sandwich onto a plate, placing it in front of him.

Sheldon looked down at it, then back up at Leonard. "It's not cut. And where's the smily face?" Leonard picked up a knife, about to cut diagonally through the bread. "Wait! You have to make the smily face first, _then_ cut it or the face is lopsided."

"Oh, for crying out. . .! You're a grown man, not a three year-old!" Leonard was hacking at the sandwich until it resembled something a serial killer had gotten a hold of it. "Happy now?"

Inspecting his meal, Sheldon looked back up at Leonard. "Where's my soup? This isn't served in courses, you know. If it was, the soup would come first." Leonard clamped his jaw shut, reaching for the pan. He was about to pour the soup into a bowl when Sheldon stopped him again.

"Nowwwww wait. Campbell's tomato soup falls into the category of a bisque, so it may be served in what has become known as a 'soup mug.' It facilitates the dipping of the sandwich."

"Sheldon! Do you want the soup or not?"

Sheldon blinked. "Of course I want it, why else would I be going to all the effort of teaching you proper grilled cheese etiquette?" He took a bite of his sandwich. "This is very good." He chewed, swallowed, then added, "Although, with your abysmal skills at timing the completed repast, you'd make a terrible line cook."

"Damn, just when I was contemplating a career change," he said, rinsing out the soup pot.

Dipping his sandwich into the soup, Sheldon held up his opposite hand. "Hold on, I didn't say there wasn't any hope for you. Just in your present state you would need some guidance." He sat up straighter, embracing his subject. "Perhaps Penny could get you a job at the Cheesecake Factory. I'm given to understand the staff there are all unskilled laborers and benefit from 'on the job' training. Given two or three weeks they can probably turn you around."

"Sheldon! It was sarcasm!" He sat there for a moment, contemplating Leonard's words.

"Hmmm." Shaking his head and taking a sip of his soup he added, "I thought I was getting better at that."

xxxxxx

Amy sat in the noisy bar, stirring her untouched Diet Coke with a straw, wishing her headache would dissipate. All she really wanted was some peace and quiet. She wanted to go home, but she wasn't sure where that was anymore. It certainly wasn't her mother's and she wasn't sure 4A was either. If she wouldn't have had to face Sheldon and his disappointment, she would have opted for the apartment. She had lost their baby. How was she ever going to face him again?

"Amy, are you okay?" Bernadette's voice cut through her musings and Amy made an effort to smile.

"Sure. Just a little tired." Penny and Bernadette exchanged glances and Penny reached over, squeezing her hand.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. It's just the thought of you trapped in that house with your mother. . . ."

Amy nodded. "I understand, and I appreciate your effort, but I think I would like to go. If I go to bed, Mother won't badger me."

"Why don't you come home with me," Penny offered yet again. "Leonard's staying with Sheldon so I have the space." She'd invited Amy to her apartment more times than she could count, and her answer was always the same.

"I appreciate it, Bestie, but I really don't want to run into Sheldon."

"You two really need to talk," Bernadette put in. "Maybe if you ran into each other in the hallway it would start the conversation." Amy imagined how awkward it would be. Sheldon would close down, unable to look at her, and pretend nothing was wrong. Truth be told, she didn't want to see him any more than he wanted to see her.

"Thank you for the suggestion, Bernie, but for now I think it's best if we both take a little time for ourselves."

Penny took a drink out of her glass. It was something neon pink which Amy hadn't caught the name of. "But you're just talking a day or two, right? I mean you're not really considering staying at your mother's for longer than that, are you?"

"Not at my mother's, no." She probably should have lied because her ambiguous statement left her open for questioning.

"Are you thinking about taking a trip somewhere?" Bernadette asked. "That actually would be a good idea. Maybe Hawaii, or the Caribbean? Some place warm, lots of sun. . . ."

"Yeah, maybe we could get some time off and come with you," Penny said, looking over at Bernadette. "An extended girl's night." Amy was touched by lengths the women were willing to go to help her recover, but as heart-warming as the overture was, she had to refuse. She was going to need any extra cash she had for a deposit on a new apartment, plus first and last month's rent.

"I can't tell you what it means to me that you're willing to go to so much trouble for me," Amy said, feeling her voice break with unshed tears. "But I can't take you up on your generous offer."

"Why not?" Bernadette asked. If it's a matter of money I've got a bonus coming and. . ."

"It's not that," Amy interrupted, knowing if she didn't stop this quick her overly generous friend would be booking them all tickets on some cut-rate cruise wasting valuable apartment hunting time. She needed to get settled and start putting the past behind her. "Penny, you can barely get off for a single shift, let alone a few days, and I'm at a critical juncture in my on research. I've already wasted too much time with being in the hospital."

At the mention of the hospital, Amy felt a stab in the middle of her chest. She'd been trying so hard not to think about the experience and yet it was always there. The dreams of her waking up to find the bed she shared with Sheldon soaked in blood. It hadn't happened that way, but her subconscious didn't seem to care. That was only the beginning of her nightmares. Dr. Bennett had given her some names of grief counselors but she was stronger than that. She didn't need to pay someone to cry on their shoulder.

"Hey, I've been looking for a reason to quit, and this would be it," Penny said.

Amy knew if she wasn't firm she'd soon be lying on some beach fast on her way to getting drunk. _Why was that such a bad idea, again? Oh right. It wasn't going to solve her problems._ Damn, she hated it when she was practical.

"Bestie, I can appreciate you're willingness to try to cheer me up but. . ."

"Maybe I'm the one who needs cheering up, okay?!" Amy stared at her friend, who'd suddenly been reduced to tears. Shocked, Amy looked over at Bernadette hoping she might know what was going on with Penny. "You have _no_ idea how scared I was for you," Penny confessed, wiping at the tears streaming down her face.

Amy was truly taken aback. She knew Penny was concerned, but this? "I. . .I had no idea you were this upset."

"Well I was! And apparently I still am! Amy, you were standing in my apartment _bleeding!_" Amy cast a glance at Bernadette who was looking as shell-shocked as she felt. "I'm sorry," Penny said, sucking in a great breath. "I didn't mean to get so emotional. I think it's all just starting to hit me how worried I was, now that the worst is over." Penny didn't trivialize the next weeks, even months Amy was going to have to work through, but she had to admit, the immediate threat to her health was now past.

"Perhaps I should reconsider. Going some place might be good for all of us, don't you think, Bernie?"

"My vote's for Hawaii," she said, raising her glass in Penny's direction. Penny was using her cocktail napkin to wipe the last of her tears from her eyes but missed a streak of mascara. Amy took her own napkin and dabbed at Penny's face.

"Thanks, Ames," she sniffed. "Look, Amy you're right. I can't afford to go run off like that, or blow off my job. It's just that it sounded like a good idea for a minute."

"Wow, when did you get so mature?" Amy teased, causing Penny to produce a self-conscious grin.

"Apparently five minutes ago." Penny finished her drink and Amy watched Bernadette down the rest of hers. "Still want to leave?" Penny asked her.

"I'm sorry, but yeah," Amy said. Her headache was better but she felt exhausted, both physically, and mentally.

Penny grabbed her jacket. "Okay, but we're not taking you back to that house of horrors!"

"Penny. . . ." Amy whined. "I just want to get some sleep."

"And so you shall." Penny cast a glance at Bernadette who was looking confused. "We're taking you to a hotel no if, ands or buts."

"But I don't have anything with me, no pajamas, no underwear, no nothing!"

Penny gently pushed her out the entrance of the bar. "I said no buts! And if Bernie is willing to fork over some of that bonus money we'll stop at a discount store and get what you need. After all, this is America and everything is for sale."

In the end, they all purchased nightwear, hygiene supplies and new underwear and spent the night in a five-star hotel where they binged on room service. It was the best girl's night they'd ever had.


	30. Chapter 30

**_A/N: The next two chapters are fairly short, so I'll post both today._**

**_30_**

Leonard let out a frustrated sigh as he trudged to the closet in the living room to retrieve a pillow and blankets. It had been over a week he'd been camped out on Sheldon's sofa. Well, technically it was _his_ sofa since he'd bought it off the people moving out of 2A. Penny's apartment was too small to accommodate it, and Leonard hadn't been up to the battle it would have been to get it from Sheldon. Still, his couch or Sheldon's, he didn't want to be sleeping on it another night. He missed sleeping with Penny and longed for the life they were beginning to build together.

Sheldon seemed to be handling the loss of the baby in typical Sheldon fashion—by ignoring the elephant in the room. He wouldn't talk about it, could barely utter Amy's name, and certainly seemed incapable of taking care of himself. It was driving Leonard mad.

He was just about to fall asleep when his last beer needed to be eliminated. Growling with annoyance, Leonard tossed back the covers, stomping towards the bathroom. Just as he was about to enter, he saw Sheldon standing before what used to be his, Leonard's, room. Clad in his matching pajamas and robe, Sheldon stood at the open entrance of the room, hand on the door knob.

Leonard remained where he was, afraid to move in case he startled Sheldon, who apparently was unaware Leonard had come up behind him. Sheldon stood in the doorway for long minutes, just staring at the nursery when Leonard realized Sheldon's shoulders were shaking. He heard a sniff, and saw Sheldon's free hand reach up to wipe his eyes. The sight broke Leonard's heart. He knew Sheldon wasn't the uncaring automaton the others accused him of being, and to witness Sheldon's pain sent a stab to his chest.

He didn't know what to do. If he tried to comfort his friend, Sheldon would turn the incident around on him and somehow make his grief Leonard's fault. If he did nothing, he felt he was abandoning a friend in need. If Penny would have been there, she simply would have walked forward and wrapped her arms around him crooning, "Sweetie, it's all right," and let him cry on her shoulder. He wasn't allowed that luxury.

Sheldon gave one last snuffle, and slowly shut the door. Suddenly coming to life, Leonard ducked into the bathroom, where he stayed until he heard the creak of Sheldon's mattress as he arranged himself on the bed. Sitting on the closed lid of the toilet, Leonard ran a hand over his face. Something needed to be done. Despite all the denials that the loss of the baby was "no big deal," it was obvious Sheldon was shaken. Who wouldn't be? He couldn't imagine what he would do should the situation be reversed, and he hoped to God he never had to find out.

It wasn't long before he heard Sheldon's mutterings in his sleep. It used to be equations, and occasionally still were, but since he'd been sleeping on the couch, Leonard heard more pleas for someone or something to come back than calculus. In fact, he was fairly certain Sheldon was getting little or no work done at Cal-Tech. Again, something needed to be done. He just didn't know what. Rather than return to the sofa, Leonard slipped on his robe, grabbed his key and headed across the hall.

xxxxxx

Penny woke as an arm stole around her waist. She stiffened, then relaxed as she recognized Leonard's breathing and scent.

"Sorry I woke you," he whispered, kissing her cheek.

"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be babysitting Sheldon?" Penny moved hair out of her face, trying to focus her mind as well as her vision.

"Yeah, and I'm afraid I'll have to go back, but there's something I need to talk to you about." Pushing pillows back up against the wall, Penny wiggled to a sitting position.

"Is something wrong? Is Sheldon okay?"

"Well, that depends on your definition of 'okay,'" Leonard said cryptically. "He's barely functioning."

"Yeah, he seems a lot more out of it than usual," Penny agreed. "Did something specific happen?"

Leonard reclined on the bed, head propped on his fist. "I was heading to the bathroom when I saw him standing in the doorway of the nursery, just standing there. I couldn't see his face, but I could tell he was crying."

Penny felt her own eyes filling with tears. "Oh, my God, Leonard! Poor Sheldon! I should go see him. . . ." She began to climb out of the bed when he held her back.

"He doesn't know I saw him and if you confront him he's just going to deny it."

Sitting back down on the bed, Penny huffed in frustration. "You're right. Amy's just as bad," she said. "Whenever someone asks how she's doing, she admits it's a struggle, but quickly changes the subject. She's not facing what happened any more than he is." She turned around to sit cross-legged in front of him. "Get this. She's looking for an apartment! She's not even planning on coming back to him!"

"Wait, what? When did this happen?"

"Tonight, or at least that's when I found out about it. I called Anita's house looking for Amy since she'd been ignoring my texts, and her mother said she wasn't there because she was out looking at apartments! And from her tone, I think Anita agrees with her choice!"

"Well, she never has cared for Sheldon," Leonard confirmed. "But she has to come back! I can't take living with him again!"

"What about the part where they need each other? Haven't you thought about that?"

Leonard started picking at the blankets. "There is that, I suppose. But I can't keep doing this! He's—to use your eloquent turn of phrase—more bat-crap crazy than ever. He won't leave me alone! I feel more married to him than Amy was!"

"Is!" Penny insisted. "She _is_ married to Sheldon and we have to make sure she stays that way."

"So what are we going to do? I suppose we could kidnap her and lock her in the apartment with him."

Penny thought about it for a moment. "No, he'll just barricade himself in his room and refuse to speak to her."

"Are they talking at all?" Leonard asked.

"I think there's a certain number of texts that have to exchanged on a daily basis, insuring each other's health, so in a way, I guess."

Leonard stared at her in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me!"

Sliding back under the covers, Penny nodded. "I can't believe you didn't know. It's like eight times a day or something."

"I guess he does check his phone a lot. And now that you mention it, it has been around the same times each day." Leonard flopped back on the bed, running a hand through his already mussed hair. "He's more of a nut case than I thought!"

"Hard to believe it could get any worse," Penny agreed. "I think we're going to have to get everyone involved in this. Ain't nobody happy 'till Sheldon is happy."

Leonard blew out a breath. "I hate to admit it, but you're right. Those few months when they were getting along were some of the best since I've known him. Come hell or high water, we're getting those two back together!"

Penny slid closer to him giving him a long, slow kiss. "Now you sound like the one from Texas." Moaning, Leonard couldn't help the whine in his voice.

"Pennnnny! I have to go back!"

Her hands were snaking under his t-shirt. "Not just yet, you don't."

"But what if he wakes up and I'm not there?"

Her caresses and kisses were getting more insistent. "Tell him you had a sleep over."

"He'll start quoting the neighbor agreement or something!"

Penny rolled over, angry. "Fine. Do what you want Leonard. I'm not about to beg you to have sex with me."

"Nowwwww. . .hold on. I don't see why I shouldn't be allowed a few conjugal visits," he said, skimming his hand over her waist, kissing the back of her neck. "In fact, I'm going to bring it up at the next Temporary Roommate Agreement review."

"You're going to have to do better than that," she said, trying to keep her voice stern while hiding a grin.

"How about this?" he asked, touching her where he knew she would melt.

"Bastard," she playfully hissed.


	31. Chapter 31

**_31_**

Amy checked the address on the newspaper she held, then looked up at the building she stood before. There'd been a picture in the ad, but this dingy, dated building didn't look to be the same one. She recognized the neighborhood as having been fashionable at one time, but many of the residences had fallen into disrepair. Everything about the area seemed gray. It suited her mood perfectly.

Intellectually, she knew she should be doing something to break out of the funk she'd been in since she'd lost the baby, and picking out a depressing apartment wasn't it. All she knew was she had to get out of her mother's house which, surprisingly, was even more dismal than the aging structure before her.

"Ms. Fowler?" Amy turned at the sound of her name, and found she had to look down to see the woman. The gray haired woman was as wide as she was tall, and Amy's first uncharitable thought was she looked like a square with feet.

"Um, yes," she said, hoping her smile was more sincere than it felt. "Mrs. Constantine?"

"One in the same!" she exclaimed. Before Amy could get in another word, the real estate agent moved towards the apartment building entrance with surprising speed. "You're going to _love_ this unit. Great views, quiet neighbors, and a locale on the cusp of rebirth. There's several developers who have their eyes on this area with revitalization in mind!" Mrs. Constantine bragged, as if it was her own personal quest to see the area repopulated and brought back to it's former glory. _It can't come too soon,_ Amy thought.

"I didn't know. . ."

Mrs. Constantine cut her off. "You'll be lucky to get in before this becomes one of the city's most coveted addresses!" she continued, toddling over to a single elevator. Amy stood before the beige doors, noting the paint peeling in several spots. _The elevator works_, she thought, and fought down the urge to cry. Maybe it was better that this building was the antithesis of 2301 Los Robles. If it didn't resemble her home with Sheldon, maybe it would be easier to move on.

". . . .and I have the authority to offer you an extended lease which guarantees your introductory rental rate. Think of it, Ms. Fowler! No rent increases for at least two years!"

"Sounds wonderful," Amy replied unenthusiastically. The elevator rumbled to a stop on the fifth floor, the doors slowly retracting. The hallway was dark, illuminated by a single window at the far end. It didn't feel welcoming in the least. "It's a bit dark, don't you think?" Amy asked, gazing around the claustrophobic corridor.

"That's the understated elegance I was telling you about," Mrs. Constantine grinned, sorting through an immense set of keys. "Ah! Here it is!" She was fitting the key into the lock as Amy added,

"As a single woman, I have to tell you I'm not particularly comfortable with how dark this hallway is." Mrs. Constantine glanced at Amy's hand, but made no comment. Following the line of her sight, Amy realized she hadn't taken off the simple band Sheldon had given her. It had begun to feel like such a part of her, she rarely was aware of it. Clearing her suddenly tight throat, Amy tucked her hand into the pocket of her skirt and added, "I'm getting divorced, which is why I need the apartment."

Mrs. Constantine patted her other hand. "Well, I'm sorry you're having difficulties, dear, but I'm sure things will start looking up when you see your new home!" She flung the door open with the panache of Vanna White turning glowing letter panels on "Wheel of Fortune." Amy had to admit, the space did look surprisingly welcome compared to what she'd seen so far. It was all one room with a partition to the left, and three smallish windows in the center of the wall opposite the door. A small kitchen was off to the right with a breakfast bar that sectioned it off from the main room. The layout was similar to her old apartment, but different enough for her to feel she hadn't gone full circle and returned from where she started. She actually had inquired at her former building, but there had been no vacancies.

"So!" Mrs. Constantine enthused. "What do you think? Isn't it all I said it was and more?"

Amy spun around, surveying the entrance then asked, "Where is the bedroom?"

"Back here, behind this half-wall," she said practically dragging Amy forward. "It's all part of the 'open plan' design that's so chic right now."

_It is different_, Amy thought. _Could I get used to having a bedroom without a door? Who would I need privacy from? It would be just me, except for an occasional sleep-over with the girls._ Amy continued to wander around, poking her head into the l bathroom which offered nothing out of the ordinary. Mrs. Constantine stood in the center of the main room fidgeting, looking over her day planner, pretending to be giving Amy privacy to look around the apartment. She could feel the realtor's tension and wished she could dismiss the woman so she could really have a good look around, but she'd hung tight, like a barnacle. At least she'd stopped interjecting commentary every time Amy stopped to look at some feature of the domicile.

"I don't mean to rush you, Ms. Fowler," she said, making a show of checking her watch, "But I do have another appointment in about fifteen minutes, and you know traffic at this time of day. . . ."

Amy gave the room one last sweep with her gaze. She could do worse, and it was convenient to her lab at UCLA. The rent was within her range. . . . _Oh, what the hell,_ she thought. _Nothing is ever going to be like living with Sheldon._ She'd tried so hard not to dwell on all she was going to miss about not living at Los Robles. Her proximity to Penny, the gang around for various game nights, and of course, Sheldon. How there seemed to be a constant ache in her chest whenever she thought of him.

_This is for the best. He can get back to the life he loved. Concentrate on his work, his friends and his routine, and hopefully in time, I can see him bi-monthly. Not for date nights, but just to touch base and see he's all right. This is for the best._

Mrs. Constantine was peeking at her over her vinyl folder. "Ms. Fowler?"

Amy gave her a watery smile. "Yes. I'll take it."

xxxxxx

Leonard knocked on the doorframe of Sheldon's office. "Ready to go to lunch?" Sheldon stared at his whiteboard as if he hadn't heard him. Perhaps he hadn't. More and more Sheldon seemed to be living inside his own head, and from what Leonard could tell, it wasn't a good place. The board was mostly blank, and Sheldon stood poised before it, arms crossed over his chest, tapping his lip with a dry erase marker. The fact that something as germ-laden as a marker was touching his mouth led Leonard to believe his conscious mind was nowhere in evidence.

Leonard tried coughing, knocking on the doorframe again, and then finally snapping, "Sheldon!" to bring him out of his fugue. Sheldon jumped at the sound of his name, and Leonard was hard pressed not to roll his eyes. "Are you ready to go to lunch?" His voice was harsher than he'd intended, but Leonard was getting more and more frustrated with Sheldon's back-sliding into his former narcissistic self. Not that lately there'd been any huge improvement, but Amy's presence seemed to temper this aspect of him.

Sheldon looked back at the nearly empty workspace, placing the marker back in the tray. "Yes," he sighed. "I seem to be at an opportune stopping point."

Leonard was unable to stop the snort he exhaled. "Yeah, right."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Sheldon stood with his fists balled at his sides, the confrontational posture ratcheting up Leonard's own defensive reaction.

"Just that your board has looked like this for weeks. Let me ask you something. Have you accomplished _anything_ since Amy lost the baby?" Instantly, Leonard regretted his choice of words. He could have phrased it much more diplomatically, but he was over his once-again roommate. Sheldon jerked at the barbed question, sputtering out his next words.

"I don't have to defend my work to the likes of you! And for your information, I've made _significant_ progress on my latest theory!"

"Which is?"

"I. . .I doubt you'd understand it, even _if_ I dumbed it down for you."

Leonard crossed his arms over his chest. "Oh, really." Sheldon was now fiddling with the pens and paper neatly lined up on his desk, refusing to meet Leonard's gaze.

"Yes, really." They both stood there, neither willing to budge until Leonard felt his stomach rumble. He was hungry. He wanted lunch and he wanted this inane and insane argument with Sheldon over. In fact, he wanted it all to cease. He missed his life with Penny, and until he'd been forced back into being Sheldon's roommate again, he hadn't realized how incredibly annoying and egotistical Sheldon was. It's not that he'd been blind to Sheldon's behavior, it was more that he'd been numb being surrounded by it. Having stepped away temporarily, he saw the man with clearer vision, and wondered how he'd managed to live with him for so many years. _Amy should be up for sainthood._

"Look, Sheldon, I'm hungry. We're going to lunch and you're welcome to join us or not." With that, Leonard turned, exiting Sheldon's office.

xxxxxx

Sheldon dropped down into his desk chair with a huff. "Have you accomplished anything since Amy lost the baby?" he mimicked. Poking a finger repeatedly at a scar on the surface of his desk, Sheldon knew Leonard was right. He _hadn't_ managed to further any of his work since that terrible day. His friends tried to get him to talk about how he was feeling, but he just couldn't see the point. Would talking about it bring the baby back? Would talking to Amy in person make Amy come back? Penny seemed to think so, but he didn't know. Usually Amy was the one to force issues and make him talk when he didn't want to. Without her pushing, he felt rudderless.

He wasn't even sure he wanted her back. Leonard was his roommate again and the months with Amy seemed like a long dream he'd awakened from.

But it wasn't the same. Leonard kept sneaking over to Penny's, especially at night. Leonard thought he was fooling Sheldon, but he knew every time when Leonard slunk over to her—their—apartment. He could invoke several clauses of the Temporary Roommate Agreement, but he just wasn't up for the battle. He was drained of energy and just didn't care enough to get into an argument over Leonard's booty calls.

Everything sapped his energy. This current disagreement had him feeling like he'd raced up and down the apartment stairs ten times without stopping. He should have went to lunch, but then he'd just have to listen to Wolowitz's lame jokes, and Raj whining about not getting laid. He, Sheldon, wasn't getting laid and you didn't hear him complaining about it.

Just then he felt his phone vibrating in his pants pocket. Even before pulling out his phone, he knew it was her, for their 12:45 check-in.

**_Hello, Sheldon._**

_Hello, Amy. How is your day progressing?_

**_Very well, thank you, and yours?_**

_Within satisfactory parameters._ Although, what those parameters were, he was no longer sure of. There was an extended pause and Sheldon felt he should add something, but he didn't know what that was. He noted the three dots below his iMessage bubble, indicating Amy was writing something, and waited to see what she was going to say.

**_I miss you._** He stared at the text. Three words, but they carried so much weight. He wanted to reply: _I miss you too,_ because he really did miss her, but he couldn't admit to that. What if she wanted to meet? He couldn't face her. No matter how many times people told him Amy losing the baby wasn't his fault, he just couldn't believe them. He couldn't see her face-to-face and witness the grief in her eyes knowing he was the one who'd caused that pain.

Time was stretching on endlessly and he knew he needed to write something before she became angry with him. Perspiration started gathering on his upper lip, and he wiped a clammy hand across his damp forehead. He hated to sweat. It made him feel grimy and the urge to shower would soon become overwhelming and here he was, trapped at work. That thought only exacerbated the situation. _Think! Write something!_

_It feels like forever since I've seen you,_ he typed. Drat! That sounded like an invitation!

**_You're right. It does seem like a lifetime ago._** Sheldon scrubbed his hands on his pant legs and picked the phone back up, wondering what to say next. This was getting way more personal than just a check on each other's well-being. It turned out he didn't have to acknowledge anything; Amy had sent one last message:

**_Got to go. Talk next check-in._**

Sheldon leaned back against his desk chair, blowing out a puff of breath. _Danger averted_. But what would he say at their next communication? Maybe he _should_ invite her someplace where they could actually see each other. Leonard and Penny badgered him daily about meeting with Amy. Penny insisted Amy was miserable without him, and Leonard seemed to think the same held true for him. He just didn't know what to say to her. How were they supposed to move on when neither of them could forget? Was some more time apart such a bad thing?

Questions without answers swirled in his mind, and it felt as though he was incapable of any thoughts other than those that concerned Amy. It was like Amy was a giant balloon in his head and the more it inflated, the more all other thoughts were squeezed out. There was no room in his mind for cognitive thought, and thus, impossible to get any work done. Would his life ever be his again?

xxxxxx

Leonard plunked his lunch tray down on the cafeteria table, causing Raj and Howard to jump. Looking up, Howard said,

"You're late. We didn't think you were coming."

Leonard's voice was sullen as he slumped in his chair twisting the cap off his Mountain Dew. "I stopped by Sheldon's office."

"Where is he?" Raj asked.

"He probably won't be coming. We got in some stupid argument about him not accomplishing anything recently, and now he's probably going to sit in his office and sulk just to spite me."

Howard took a bite of his sandwich, shrugging. "His loss is our gain."

Taking a forkful of shepherd's pie, Raj looked at both his lunch mates. "I'm worried about him. He keeps all this stuff about the baby and Amy all bottled up, pretending nothing is wrong. Like he can go back to the way things were as if Amy had never been pregnant."

"Well, they're back to communicating through texts and email," Leonard said, picking at his meal despite his hunger. "It does kind of feel like it didn't really happen."

"That's what I mean!" Raj said, leaning forward. "We're all treating Sheldon and Amy like nothing happened. They need to grieve."

Leonard sat with his arms across his chest, staring at his mostly untouched lunch. Looking back and forth between the two men, he confessed, "Penny said Amy's been looking at apartments. If that's the case, I'll never escape from Sheldon!"

"I'm telling you dude, we have to get them into the same room and make them talk! Sheldon says he doesn't care if Amy comes back, but the guy is clearly a basket case without her."

"You mean more of a basket case," Howard interjected. "Amy being married to Sheldon didn't change him, just sanded off a few rough edges. And not all that smoothly."

"Yeah. I was getting used to Amy having to deal with all his crazy shit. Now I have to hear about every whacked idea he has. And believe me, he has a _lot_ of them."

Raj was still leaning forward. "So what are we going to do?"

"I think this is bigger than what the three of us can deal with," Leonard cautioned.

Howard took a bite of his dessert, mumbling through the crumbs. "You're right. We need the girls."

Leonard lowered his voice. "Tomorrow at our place, 8:30."

"Why so late?" Raj asked.

Howard looked equally confused. "Why wait until tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow is laundry night," Leonard explained. "If we meet at 8:30, Sheldon will already be in the basement, and you know he'll stay down there until his wash is done. After all, there's a sign posted not to leave your laundry unattended, and he would never go against a posted rule."

"You mean all we've needed to do is post a sign of his name with a circle and a line through it and we could have avoided him all this time?"

"Howard, that's not funny," but Leonard couldn't help the grin that formed at the thought of "no Sheldon" placards posted everywhere.


	32. Chapter 32

**_A/N: I'm posting two chapters again since they're both kind of shortish._**

**_32_**

It was 8:30 on the dot when Penny heard the knock on her door. _Say what you want about Sheldon's anal habits,_ she thought,_ but the rest of you are right there with him. _She opened the door and quickly ushered Bernadette, Howard and Raj into the apartment.

"Is the coast clear?" Raj asked, placing a paper wrapped bottle on the kitchen island. Penny noticed the tell-tale shape of a wine bottle, and her gaze followed it's path across the room.

"Yeah, he's downstairs," she confirmed, eyes still locked on the green glass visible above crumpled brown paper. "You didn't have to bring anything," she said, but ever so glad he had.

"A thoughtful guest never arrives at a party empty handed," Raj quoted, staring pointedly at Howard and Bernadette.

Leonard stepped out from the bedroom. "This isn't a party. We're talking about Sheldon and Amy."

"All the more reason to have alcohol," Howard quipped, causing Bernadette to titter.

"Oh, Howie, now stop!" she said, giving his arm a playful swat. Raj made himself at home in Penny and Leonard's kitchen, pulling glasses from their shelves.

"Is everyone in?" he asked, producing a corkscrew from his pocket with a flourish. Everyone nodded and Raj proceeded to open the bottle with deft flair.

"You missed your calling," Penny said, holding out her glass to make sure she didn't miss out if there wasn't enough. "You should have been a sommelier."

"You know what that is?" Leonard asked, disbelief obvious in his voice.

Penny's free hand came to rest on her hip, her tone sharp. "You think because it's a big word and in French I wouldn't know what a wine steward was?"

"Come on, Leonard," Bernadette spoke. "It has to do with wine, of _course_ she knows what it is." Bernadette was smiling and she winked at Penny, diffusing the tension that had suddenly sprung up in the room. After picking up their glasses, everyone took a seat. Penny, Bernadette and Howard on the sofa, Leonard on the arm of the couch next to Penny, and Raj in the colorful abstract chair to the right of the sofa.

"Okay, first order of business," Leonard said. "Laundry night starts at 8:15. Sheldon usually has three loads of clothes: whites, light colors, and darks. Assuming all the washers are available, it's forty minutes per full cycle. Allowing for the transfer of wet clothes to the dryers, forty-five minutes for drying, and fifteen minutes for folding, we have approximately 105 minutes. We better plan on a hundred minutes so you don't pass Sheldon in the stairwell, thus alerting him to abnormal behavior."

Howard sat with his mouth hanging open. "I don't know what's scarier, that you know that or you're going to be timing us."

"Hey, look, if you knew that's the only time the apartment was going to be a Sheldon Free Zone, you'd have it down to the millisecond, too."

Raj was nodding his head in agreement. "I'm with Leonard. I don't want to run into Sheldon and have to explain why we're all here without him."

Bernadette looked around the room. "Maybe he won't ask. Sometimes he's oblivious to what's going around him."

Penny started waving her hand. "Okay, okay! We're wasting valuable time here! We've got a little over an hour and a half to come up with a plan."

"Did you have something in mind?" Bernie asked. Penny looked over at Leonard, silently asking his permission to reveal what he'd told her about Sheldon and the nursery. They'd talked some about it, but hadn't come to any conclusions. Leonard gave her a slight nod and Penny took a rather large sip of her wine. Setting the glass down on the coffee table, she rubbed her palms on her denim covered thighs.

"The other night Leonard said he saw Sheldon standing in the doorway of the nursery, and he thought Sheldon was crying."

"Oh, the poor guy!" Bernadette exclaimed, casting a glance at Howard. He looked equally disquieted by the news, which surprised Penny. Sheldon and Howard were almost always arguing, so witnessing Howard's empathy, moved her. She knew Howard was capable of being mature, it just caught her off guard when he actually was.

"So I was thinking, maybe we dismantle the nursery." Penny continued, looking around at her friends, trying to gage their reactions. Raj was shaking his head.

"After all my hard work and talking _endlessly_ about just the right shade of yellow so Sheldon would approve."

Penny snorted. "That's nothing. You didn't have to go furniture shopping with Amy. Wouldn't you have thought a little bed with bars would be easy to pick out?"

"Penny, I'm surprised at you!" Raj cried. "Not only are there furniture styles to consider, but materials, finishes, sizes. . . ."

With a sweep of her hand, Penny gestured around the room. "Yeah, well, it took me about fifteen minutes to pick out all of this." Everyone seemed to choose that moment to take a drink from their glasses. "Fine," Penny huffed. "Screw all of you!" Before she could get truly wound up, Leonard placed a hand on her shoulder rubbing gently.

"I think starting with the nursery is a great first step," he said. "We'll have to move the furniture and paint, but I think if we all pitch in it shouldn't take too long."

"Where would we go with the furniture?" Howard asked.

"How about the storage unit down stairs?" Raj suggested. "It's where Amy's bed is and then the baby things will be there if they need them again."

"Yeah, right," Howard mumbled under his breath. "Like _that's_ going to happen."

Bernadette turned to her husband, indignant. "Howie, you shouldn't talk like that. I think there's every possibility Amy could become pregnant again. Provided we can get them back together again."

"And that's the biggest issue," Penny agreed. "Amy's moving ahead so quickly with this apartment thing, we don't have a lot of time."

Finishing off her wine, Bernadette set her glass on the coffee table. "So do we turn the room back into a bedroom? A study? A guest room?"

"Maybe we just empty it out and paint?" Leonard offered. "Let them decide what to do with it? After all, it's their home."

"Just so long as we don't put back Amy's bed," Penny insisted. "If there's no place else for Amy to sleep, Sheldon will have to let her back into his room, right?" Again she gazed around the room at her friends, but no one seemed to look particularly hopeful. "Then there's the issue of getting them to talk. I don't see any other way than to trick them."

Leonard crossed his arms over his chest. "Oh, Sheldon's going to _love_ that. How many strikes you suppose we'll each get?"

"He doesn't have to know it's a set-up," Penny said. "It'll just be a co-incidence she's arriving as he's leaving. I'll ask Amy to come over, promise her Sheldon is out, and oopsie! guess I was wrong!"

Frowning, Bernadette contested her suggestion. "Sheldon might not realize it's a set-up, but Amy certainly will. What'll we do when she won't speak to us again?"

Penny thought a minute. "It's easier to beg forgiveness than ask permission?"

"Penny, you know we're the only friends Amy has. If she gets mad at us, who will she have to turn to?" Bernie asked. "That mother of hers?"

Penny got up and started pacing the room. "Okay, so it's not the best plan. We'll come up with something better later. For now we have to figure out when Sheldon's going to be out of the apartment long enough so we can redo the room. If he knows we're even thinking about it, you know he'll come up with a million reasons why we can't. And the memories from that room will continue to torture him."

Leonard's hand was poised before his mouth as he sat perched on the arm of the sofa. "The only time he's out long enough is when he's at work, and we're all working then as well."

"What about the comic book store?" Raj said. "You could take him there on Wednesday, and the rest of us could work on the room."

Tapping his index finger on his lips, Leonard looked doubtful. "I think he's going to suspect something if the rest of you guys aren't there, and if he's suspicious something is up, he won't stay at Stuart's. Besides, you'll be short a person to help if I'm watching him." Everyone sat absorbed in their own thoughts for long minutes before Raj spoke up.

"It's too bad he doesn't have a lecture coming up."

"Yeah," Leonard agreed. "That would solve a lot. But, after the last talk he gave, I doubt anyone will purposely put him in an auditorium again."

Howard was smirking. "If he hadn't looked so pleased when he came home, I would have suspected he'd blown the lecture on purpose. Remember all those tweets from the students?"

Leonard joined in on Howard's comment, laughing, "'Kill me now!'"

Looking from one to the other, Penny couldn't believe they were bringing that up in the context of their meeting. "Are you guys serious? We're here trying to _help_ Sheldon, not make fun of him!" Both men exchanged glances, trying their best to look contrite. "Okay, that was pretty funny," Penny conceded, biting her lip to keep her own smile from blooming, "But we have to think of something useful!"

"Now, hold on!" Leonard said, holding up his hand. "It's not a _terrible_ idea. We find someone who _does_ have a lecture coming up and talk them into giving their slot to Sheldon."

"Who hates their students that much?" Howard asked. Raj, Howard and Leonard looked at one another and as if on command, all said,

"Kripke."

"I don't get it," Penny said, looking over at Bernadette to see if she knew what the guys were talking about. She looked as confused as Penny felt.

Turning to Penny, Leonard explained. "We get Kripke to give Sheldon his lecture spot."

"I still don't see how. . ."

"If we talk Barry into backing out of his lecture and giving it to Sheldon, we're guaranteed a time we can work on the apartment."

"What if he doesn't want to give it to Sheldon?" Penny asked. "What if he actually _likes_ teaching?"

Raj stood and crossed over to the kitchen island, taking the last of the wine. "No one likes teaching," he said. "The only reason Kripke does it is so he can scam on the female graduate students." He took a large sip from his glass and added, "Which, by the way, _is_ the only reason to teach."

"Okay, so let me get this straight. You bribe Kripke to let Sheldon teach his class. Shouldn't he be giving _you _something since you're finding him a substitute?"

"Damage control," Howard said.

Penny went looking for a bottle of her own wine. Calling over her shoulder, she said, "Excuse me?"

"Damage control," Howard repeated. "Kripke is going to have to go back and stamp out all the fires Sheldon starts with his nutball ideas. Not to mention all the hot chicks will probably drop the class if they think Sheldon might speak again."

Penny just shook her head at Howard's convoluted reasoning. Bernadette sat with her mouth hanging open, as if she didn't know this was how her husband thought. Penny knew better. How many girl's nights had they discussed Howard's strange proclivities before he and Bernie had gotten married?

She continued to search the cupboards, then remembered the emergency "stash" she kept under the kitchen sink. This conversation was starting to seem pretty much the definition of "emergency" to her. But then, most of the time she tried to follow the guy's reasoning she found it a crisis situation.

Leonard stood from his spot on the arm of the sofa, pulling out his phone. "Well, I'm going to give it a shot," he said, heading towards the bedroom. "I think it's our best option at this point." Penny watched him shut the door and hoped it was just for some quiet and not because he was hatching some secret plan of his own.

Plunking the bottle of wine in the center of the coffee table, Penny unscrewed the cap, looking apologetically at her guests. "Obviously, it's not the quality of Raj's wine."

"It's got alcohol," Bernadette said, holding out her glass. "Fill me up." Raj and Howard took refills as well, as they sat silent waiting for the outcome of Leonard's phone call. It wasn't long before the bedroom door opened and Leonard emerged, forehead wrinkled in a frown.

"So?" Raj asked. "Did he go for it?"

"Um, yeah, he said he'd call in to the University claiming to be sick and then suggesting Sheldon take the lecture."

"Why not just have Kripke ask Sheldon directly?" Howard asked.

"We discussed that, but decided if Barry asked him, Sheldon would simply refuse. This way it's Gablehauser he'd have to defy."

"Not like it's the first time he's put up a fuss with Gablehauser," Raj pointed out.

Leonard's frown was still evident when he chanced a glance at Penny, then quickly looked away. _Something's up_, she thought, and started getting a funny feeling in her stomach.

"Well, Sheldon's contract _does_ stipulate a number of lectures," Leonard said. "Even though no one's wanted to hold him to it, they can if they want to."

"So what if Gablehauser want's to stick someone else in rather than Sheldon?" Howard persisted.

Leonard's fingers were twisting. "Barry said he was going to insist Sheldon take the lecture because they're working in the same area."

Penny watched Raj take more wine. "And he thinks Gablehauser will go for that?" Raj took a drink from his glass and Penny could see it was all he could do not to spit it out. "Penny! This is terrible! Are you sure you didn't grab the vinegar?"

"Hey, some of us are on a budget!" She took a tentative sip herself, then rushed to the sink to spit it out. No wonder this was being held as a last resort. "I must have been drunk when I bought this," she said, grabbing the bottle off the coffee table. She stood before Howard and Bernadette, gesturing before them. "Give 'em here. I don't think I could even use this to cook with."

"Bad wine would just spoil your dish anyway," Raj said. "If you won't drink it, don't cook with it either." Penny took Raj's glass as well, balancing everything between her hands. _At least the Cheesecake Factory has been good for something_, she thought. _Thank God Sheldon isn't here to make some comment about my Nebraska Man Hands._

She placed everything by the side of the sink and began rifling through her cupboards once more, but there was nothing more to drink other than instant iced tea.

"Sorry, guys, that was last call." Penny plopped back down on the sofa, turning to Leonard. "So what's the upshot? Is Kripke game?"

"He said he'd do what he could," Leonard said, his voice tentative. "There's just one thing. . . ." He was looking at her now with an expression that was quickly increasing Penny's anxiety.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What?" It took a moment for Leonard to speak, and he wouldn't look at her.

"I kinda, sort of promised you'd wait on him the next time he came into the Cheesecake Factory."

Penny pursed her lips and nodded, staring, unseeing across the room. "Well, it's not like I don't wait on jerks who try to hit on me all the time. I can take one for the team."

"Ummm. . . ." Turning to face him, Penny could see there was something else. She narrowed her eyes.

"What?" she asked again.

"I might have said something about you having a drink with him once your shift is over. . . ."

"Leonard! You're pimping me out for a lecture?"

"It's for Sheldon!" he cried. "Wasn't redecorating your idea?"

"You agreed it needed to be done!" she yelled. Then, in a quieter tone she added, "It's just that Kripe is so. . . ."

"Creepy," Bernadette supplied.

Penny looked over at her, noticing the grimace on her face. "Yeah, creepy."

Leonard was now on his feet, fully facing her. "You have to know if I could think of something else I would never ask you to do this. Hell, _I_ don't want you having drinks with anyone, especially Kripke."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Penny gave him a hard stare. "And yet here you are offering my 'services' without even asking me?!"

Leonard stuffed his hands in his pockets in what Penny assumed was an attempt to keep his hands still. "It's not like I signed you up to give him a lap dance!"

"You might as well have! It's going to feel the same!"

Holding his hands up, Raj spoke in a placating tone. "Guys, guys! Take it easy! I think all that Leonard is trying to say is just be nice to the guy. You can have a drink at the Cheesecake Factory when you're done with your shift. You don't even have to sit down with him. Get a shot, slam it down and go. Technically, the terms of the agreement will be met." He looked at Leonard. "Am I right?"

"Well, I suppose in the strictest of terms it would be. You know the intent. . ."

"Screw the intent!" Howard said. "If it was Bernadette I wouldn't even let her wait on him, let alone have a drink."

Bernadette turned to Howard with a scowl on her face. "You wouldn't_ let me_ wait on him? You think I couldn't handle him? Do you have any idea how many Kripkes are out there? How many times they hit on me?"

Suddenly speechless, it took Howard several attempts before he could mumble an apology/explanation to his wife. Leaning back against the sofa, Penny blocked out the scene around her. It wasn't the end of the world. Like Raj said, she didn't _actually_ have to sit down an have a drink with him. It just bothered her Leonard hadn't asked first. She probably would have agreed had he put it out there before hand, but his blind assumption rankled her. However, this wasn't the time to talk about it. This was about Sheldon and getting he and Amy back together.

Raj had quit the room to use the bathroom and Howard and Bernadette were still arguing. Penny turned to Leonard, and in a low voice said,

"If this will work to get Sheldon out of the apartment, I'll do it." She poked Leonard in the chest, hard. "But if you _ever_ do something like this again, we're done. Got that?" Leonard visibly swallowed, nodding his head emphatically. He looked as though he was about to speak, but Penny cut him off, holding up her hand as she stood. "Don't even," she warned, striding into the kitchen. For once she was glad Leonard was sleeping on Sheldon's sofa because if he wasn't, he'd certainly be on hers.


	33. Chapter 33

**_A/N: Sorry to be redundant, but two chapters were posted again. You may have missed chapter 32 depending on what link you followed._**

**_33_**

Sheldon opened the door to 4A, dropping his keys in the bowl next to the door. The silence was deafening. That is until he heard the muffled arguing next door. Leonard had driven him to and from the train store, and the moment they'd returned to 2301 Los Robles, he'd made a bee-line for 4B.

Sheldon had no idea what the argument was about this time, and he didn't care. He hadn't asked Leonard about it, nor offered any helpful suggestions. He was actually grateful for the time alone. At least he would be until it was bed time. He didn't like being in the apartment alone when he was sleeping. Not that Leonard had ever provided much in the way of defense, it was just reassuring there was another body in the space with him.

Amy used to be that body. She was much more than that, but he didn't want to think about that right now. Other than their check-in texts, he tried very hard not to think about her. It didn't work. It hadn't worked years ago when he'd first met her, or when he found out she was pregnant, and it certainly wasn't working now. Some how she always managed to worm her way into his thoughts.

Gazing around the apartment there was so much physical evidence of her living here. _Does she still live here?_ he wondered. It had been nearly three weeks since. . . .since she'd gone to stay with her mother. In some ways it felt like a lifetime, in others it felt like moments ago. His life was in limbo and it was driving him insane.

He needed order. He needed to know what to expect the next day. And the day after that. It was the only way he could function. When change was inevitable it was Amy who calmed him down, talked him through it and made him see it wasn't the cataclysmic event he imagined. Since his marriage to Amy, his panic attacks had subsided, and he even found his relationships with his friends improving. He needed her. So why wasn't she here?

As if in answer to his rhetorical question, Sheldon's phone rang. His heart leapt when he thought it could be Amy, but then realized it was the land line. If it was Amy, she would have called his cell. Glancing at the caller I.D., he saw it was his mother. Hesitating to pick it up, Sheldon suddenly realized he wanted to talk to her, and reached for the receiver.

"Hello?"

"_Oh, Shelly, you are there. It took so long for you to answer I thought maybe you were out._"

Sheldon looked at his feet. "Um, no, I'm here. It just took me a moment to get to the phone." _It wasn't a total lie,_ he thought.

"_I was just calling to see how you were doing, Baby."_ Even though It was his mother's term of endearment, the word 'baby' caused Sheldon to wince. He swallowed.

"I'm okay. I'm fine." His voice cracked and he was sure his mother would pick up on it. She was sharp like that.

"_Funny, you don't sound so fine._"

He had to clear his throat before he could speak again. "I've had a good day. Leonard took me to the train store," he said with false brightness.

"_So, does that mean Amy is still at her mother's?_' There was a pause. He wasn't sure what to say. He wanted to make light of Amy's continuing to stay away, but he just couldn't do it. Suddenly overcome with unwanted emotion, the catch returned to his voice.

"She is."

"_Oh, Sweetheart,_" Mary crooned. "_Have you seen her at all?_"

Sheldon felt moisture gathering in his eyes. _Where was all this emotion coming from?_ "Um, not since she left the hospital."

"_That's been nearly three weeks!_" his mother exclaimed. "_Why haven't you gone to see her?_" Shifting on the sofa, Sheldon felt as though his mother could see him fidgeting on the couch all the way from Texas.

"Well, I've been busy. And Amy's at a critical juncture in her research as well and. . ."

"_Don't give me that malarky!_" she snapped. Under her breath she mumbled, "_I knew I shouldn't have come back. . . . _" But Sheldon heard anyway. At the time, he wasn't sure how he'd felt about his mother returning home, but he knew she had to get back to take care of Meemaw. She'd only planned to stay long enough to attend Amy's shower, and she'd extended her time in Pasadena way beyond that.

"Mom, it's okay," Sheldon tried to reassure her. "Meemaw needs you more than me."

"_I'm not so sure about that. At least she has the sense God gave an ant!" _For some reason his mother's ranting sent him over the edge, and the tears he'd been trying to hold in burst forth in a flood.

"I miss her, Mommy!"

The soothing sound of his mother's voice sounded tinny over the phone lines. "_There, now, Shelly. I know you do._" There was a bit of silence then she gently added. "_There's a way to solve that, you know._" Sheldon bobbed his head even though his mother couldn't see him. He'd curled himself into a ball in his spot, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand. He was so relieved Leonard wasn't there to witness his melt down.

"I know," he whispered. "But I tried!" Sheldon's voice rose as he tried to defend himself.

"_I'm guessing you didn't try too hard._"

"But I did!" he insisted.

"_Sheldon, texting her to 'get together some time' isn't trying very hard._"

"How did you. . .Leonard! That traitor!"

"_Now don't blame your little friends. They're just concerned about you. I'm glad they're keeping me informed._" There was more silence as Sheldon sat there fuming. Leonard had no right to go behind his back like that!

"_Sheldon, now I don't want you taking your anger out on Leonard and Penny, they're just trying to do the right thing._"

Sitting up straighter, Sheldon yelled into the phone. "Penny's in on this too?! Is there anyone you _haven't_ talked to about me?"

"_Well, there's Raj, but I think he has some residual issues about talking to women. And Amy, of course. Although perhaps I should have started there._"

Sheldon was indignant. "You will not talk to her! If anyone's going to talk to her it's going to be me!"

"_Well, I don't know, Shelly. You haven't done such a good job so far._"

"I'll make her talk to me! There's a whole section in the Marriage Agreement outlining protocols about how to handle disputes." There was dead air on the other end of the phone, and Sheldon wondered if they'd been cut off.

"_You made her sign a Marriage Agreement? What is that, like a pre-nup or something?_" The tone of his mother's voice reminded him of when he was a child and she was trying to get details of Snowball's demise in his home-made CT-scanner. He could well imagine the expression on her face.

"It's a binding covenant between two parties," he huffed, aggravated he had to explain this to her. "Much the same as the Relationship Agreement but with more specificguidelines." There was more silence before he heard his mother swallow.

"_And she agreed to that?_"

"Oh, yes!" he enthused. "She was quite happy to have an outline to help navigate the precarious twists and turns of married life!"

"_I'm sure,_" Mary quipped.

"Mother, was that sarcasm?"

"_You could tell?_"

Wiggling around, thrusting out his chest, Sheldon felt his mood lifting. "I'm getting quite good at it, don't you think?"

"_Astonishing._" He didn't think she sounded sincere. Perhaps it was more sarcasm? "_We're getting off track, here. Now, I want you to call Amy and arrange for a time and place to meet. It doesn't have to be your apartment. In fact, it would be better if it wasn't._"

"Where else could we talk privately?"

"_What about a coffee house or something? It could be kind of like a date,_" she suggested.

"A date? We're married! And besides, we only had dates at night, and on the second Thursday of the month. We just went past that so we'd have to wait another month. I don't think that's wise."

He heard his mother take a deep breath. "_Sheldon Lee Cooper are you _trying_ to be difficult?_"

"Of course not! I'm just trying to explain . . ."

"_You _call_ that girl. Or better yet, go over to Anita's house and make her agree to a time you can talk. Do you hear me?_"

Sheldon bit his lip. "Yes, Ma'am."

"_All right, then. Any messages for anyone in your family?_"

He didn't even hesitate. "Tell Meemaw I love her and miss her."

"_And? Anyone else?_"

Exhaling, he said, "Fine. Tell Missy I said 'hello.'"

"_And?_" With another sigh he added,

"And George Junior. Anyone else you want me to say 'hey' to?"

"_You watch that smart mouth, Shelly!_" There was another long pause. What was he supposed to say to that? "_Now, then, I want you to know I realize this isn't going to be easy for you,_" she said, her voice sounding softer, more sympathetic. "_But I know you can get through it. You're strong when you want to be. You come from good stock and there ain't nothing the Coopers can't do if they put their minds to it. You just remember that._"

"Yes, Ma'am," he repeated. "Mom?"

"_Yeah, Baby?_"

"I love you, too."

"_I know you do, Darlin'. You give Amy a hug for me when you see her._" Before Sheldon could acknowledge or deny her request, the line had gone dead. Sitting there, holding the phone's handset and staring off into space, Sheldon wondered if he really was made from tough Texas stock as his mother claimed. At this moment, sitting in his empty apartment, he certainly didn't feel like it.


	34. Chapter 34

**_34_**

Leonard took a deep breath, standing before the open doorway to Amy's lab. Head down, she was so immersed in work, she was unaware he was there. He could still leave, he reasoned, and she'd be none-the-wiser he'd been there. It was tempting, but if he didn't try this, he might be sucked into the vortex and be Sheldon's roommate for life. That thought alone gave him the courage to knock on the door frame.

Looking up at the sound, Amy's expression went from startled to curious in a matter of seconds. "Leonard! What are you doing here?" Before he could answer, she jumped to what would be an obvious conclusion. "Is something wrong? Is it Sheldon? Penny?" _It had to be a good sign that her first thought was for Sheldon, right?_

Stepping into her lab, Leonard held up his hands. "No, No! It's nothing like that! It's just been a while since I'd seen you, and I thought I'd see how you were getting along." Amy was looking skeptical, but gave him a brief smile, and gestured for him to have a seat on the end of her lab bench.

"That's very kind of you," she said. "Especially in the middle of the work day."

"Well, I had some free time before I could use the new spectrometer and I thought what better way to spend it than seeing how Amy's doing." He could see she wasn't buying it, but was gracious enough not to call him on it.

"Again, that was very kind of you," she said, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. "I appreciate your concern, but I am rather busy. If you don't mind if I continue. . . .?"

"No! Please. I'm sorry I interrupted you." Leonard knew Amy was probably dismissing him, but didn't budge from the stool. After receiving a rather pointed look, he added, "You don't mind if I watch, do you?"

Amy stood poised over her specimen, scalpel hovering just above the gray matter. "This is about Sheldon, isn't it?"

"No!" he protested. "Why would you think that?" His voice had gone unnaturally high.

Placing the scalpel on the counter and stripping off her gloves, Amy turned to him, one hand balanced on her hip. "Because you don't do this, Leonard. You're not given spontaneous social visits, and let's be honest, we're not that close."

Leonard couldn't stop his fingers from twisting back and forth. "It doesn't mean we can't be, does it?"

"No," she said. "But this _is_ about Sheldon, isn't it?"

Leonard looked at her over the rim of his glasses. "Wellllll, now that you bring it up. . . . I think he does miss you."

"I'm sure he does," she said, pulling on a fresh pair of gloves. "Especially about the time you're busy and it's time to go to the dentist, or get his hair cut." Leonard couldn't deny a lot of Sheldon's "missing" came in the form wanting something from another person, but he firmly believed Sheldon missed Amy as a companion.

"You know that's not the only reason."

Amy bent back over her work. "I suppose not." Encouraged, Leonard pressed on.

"And you miss him, too. I can tell." He could see his words were causing Amy to struggle with her emotions, and for a moment he felt bad for trying to manipulate her. But only for a moment. This was do or die. If she didn't give up the ridiculous notion of getting her own apartment, there would be no escaping from Sheldon.

"I do," she said quietly. "It's not like we don't have contact," she said, and Leonard wondered if she were trying to convince herself it was enough.

He leaned forward a little. "It's not the same, though, is it?" Amy's usually steady hand had a tremor, and she was shaking her head back and forth, trying to blink away tears. "You know, I could arrange something. Some place neutral where you and Sheldon could talk, face to face." She appeared to be considering it, and Leonard tried not to get his hopes up. Suddenly, Raj's suggestion to lock them in a room together seemed like a viable solution.

"Penny and Bernadette have offered something similar, and I'll tell you the same thing I told them: I'm just not sure what it will accomplish at this point. If Sheldon wanted to see me, all he had to do is ask, and he hasn't."

Feeling a bit defensive for his friend, Leonard pointed out, "The same could be said of you as well."

Amy put down the scalpel once more and nodded "Fair point." She was staring at her bench, not meeting his gaze. "I'm guessing Penny has told you I was looking at apartments." Leonard wasn't sure how to answer. Would he be betraying a confidence to acknowledge she had? Now Amy was looking him straight in the eyes. "It's okay. I knew she would tell you."

Long moments passed as he was still unsure what to say. At length, he said, "I take it you haven't said anything to Sheldon." Again she gave her head a negative shake. "Don't you think you should?"

Sighing, Amy made preparations to preserve her work before answering. "I haven't absolutely decided, and I didn't want to put Sheldon through that if it wasn't a done deal."

Now Leonard felt as though he had a toe-hold. "So if you know it's going to upset him, you must realize he cares for you and wants you to come home."

"I'm sure he's experiencing some degree of loneliness," she admitted, then stopped her actions long enough to look at him again. "But you know, probably better than anyone besides myself, that Sheldon never wanted this marriage. I'm not denying he cares for me. I know he does, but he doesn't love me. He's not _in_ love with me and I don't think it's fair to either one of us to pretend he does."

Leonard felt his anxiety escalate. "Breaking up with him isn't the answer. It's not like he's ever going to find anyone else who'll put up with him."

Amy gave an ironic chuckle. "That's just it. He's _not_ going to find anyone else, and he doesn't want to. If our marriage is annulled he can go back life as it was, when he had his routine and he was happy. I'm not breaking up with him. I'm not sure _what_ our relationship is going to be after all is said and done, but I know Sheldon will be happier being single, with only himself to think about."

"He can do that with you," he tried to joke, but it was too close to the truth to be humorous. Leonard gave a little cough in an effort to cover his embarrassment. "I think you're wrong. I think Sheldon _does_ love you, he's just too stubborn to realize it."

"Then what's the point? If he does love me, as you say, but won't face it, how is the situation any different?" Leonard didn't have an answer for her, but could feel a wave of panic starting to rise. He loved Penny and despite their current argument, the last thing he wanted was to have to deal with Sheldon's craziness on a daily basis for the foreseeable future. He couldn't do it. It was like trying to live with your parents again after having lived on your own.

Leonard gave a sigh of defeat. "So, your mind is set," he said, feeling as if he heard the cell door closing with a resounding "clank."

"It is," Amy said with finality. "I haven't signed the lease yet, but I've told the real estate agent I will take it."

"Then there's still hope!" Leonard cried. "You can still change your mind!"

Amy's fingers clasped in front of her as she rocked on sensible shoes. "I suppose in the strictest literal sense that's true, but it's a highly unlikely scenario."

Leonard's mind raced, trying to find anything he could say to forestall her pending actions. "Just wait until Wednesday, okay?" It was a long shot that re-doing the nursery would make both his stubborn friends see reason and get back together, but it was all he had.

Amy's brow wrinkled in a frown. "What does Wednesday have to do with anything?"

"I. . .I can't tell you at the moment. Just please, promise me you won't make any permanent decisions until after Wednesday, okay?" Amy was still looking at him as if he'd lost his mind, and maybe he had.

"I'll think about it," was all she said, gesturing towards the door. This time, there was no doubt in Leonard's mind he'd been dismissed.

xxxxxx

Sheldon trudged up the last set of stairs before reaching the fourth floor. His apartment door never looked so appealing. It had been a hellacious day all the way around. The first thing he'd been hit with upon arriving at the University was word of Barry Kripke's sudden onset of some mysterious illness. He hadn't spoken to Barry, but Dr. Gablehauser was waiting outside his office to deliver the news personally. At first he didn't understand why Gablehauser thought Sheldon would care if Kripke had the sniffles, then it became abundantly clear. The chair of the Physics Department expected him to take Kripke's scheduled lecture.

Sheldon hadn't had to do any teaching lately and he'd been extremely grateful. Even though his last lecture had been a resounding success, the powers that be at the University didn't seem to feel the same way. So Sheldon was a little surprised when the administrator insisted he take Barry's lecture. He'd argued against it, but to no avail. Gablehauser reminded him of his contract and the stipulated teaching commitment, and was forced to deliver a lecture to Barry's students who were even more inferior than his own.

It had gone well, he thought, given his short preparation time. He was sure he'd managed brilliantly, as he always did. He just hadn't expected the experience to take so much energy from him. He'd been noticing that more and more lately. Nothing seemed to hold his interest for very long, and even things he normally enjoyed seemed dull and boring. The only thing he felt even a twinge of excitement for was Amy's scheduled texts, even though there was very little other than a statement of her current health.

Sighing at that thought, Sheldon pulled out his keys and opened the apartment door. The interior was dark, save the Batman night light plugged in near the door so he could see to turn on a lamp. He wasn't surprised the apartment was dark. Leonard had told him he couldn't pick him up after the lecture because he and Penny had plans. No doubt they were across the hall even now, engaging in sexual endeavors. Shaking his head and sighing again, Sheldon dropped his keys into the bowl and moved to turn on the lamp next to his spot. There he saw a note written on a sheet of paper torn from his Star Wars note pad.

Sheldon's first thought was: _someone_ was going to get a strike for touching his things, then he thought he could detect the scent of wet paint. _Why on Earth should his apartment smell like wet paint?_ Looking down, he read the note scrawled on _his_ paper.

_Go to your room_

_Well, that's cryptic,_ he thought. The only people with access to his apartment were Leonard, Penny, and . . . . Amy! Could she be there, waiting for him? Suddenly excited, Sheldon ran down the short corridor only to spot a second note (from his same Star Wars note pad!) attached to his bedroom door. The smell of paint was even stronger here, and Sheldon looked around to see the door to Leonard's old room standing open. He didn't bother to read the second note, instead walking towards the open door with trepidation.

He didn't want to see nursery furniture, and if Amy really was here, he certainly didn't want her to see it. Had she been here? Is that why the door was open? Cautiously, Sheldon flipped the light switch and gasped when the room illuminated. The last time he'd looked in this room it had been pale yellow with a crib, rocker and small dresser. Now the walls were a peaceful shade of green with Amy's desk where Leonard's bed once sat.

For a moment he couldn't process what he was seeing. He'd been wandering through his life as if it wasn't his own, and now he had proof—a room transformed without his knowledge or permission. This morning it had been a nursery, and tonight it was this, what appeared to be a study for Amy.

Sheldon was still frozen in place, trying to reason the hows and whys. Prior to being a nursery, the room housed Amy's bed and some of her extra furnishings. Now it was clearly a work space. The part he found the most difficult to believe was he hadn't noticed Amy's desk had been missing from the living room. How had he not seen? _Well, you have been a bit out of it lately_, he thought to himself. An admission he'd make to no one but himself. Still, the transformation meant _someone_ had been in his apartment and that instantly set off alarms.

Racing back to the living area, Sheldon did a quick inventory and noticed nothing missing or out of place. Everything was just as he'd left it this morning, other than the desk. Plopping down into his spot, he gave a sigh of relief, allowing his thoughts to piece together any clues he may have overlooked.

First, there'd been Leonard's odd behavior on the drive to work, but that he put down to Leonard's eccentricities, of which he had many. The next was the surprise lecture. Had Gablehauser and Kripke been in on this as well? Why would they care if he had an unused nursery? No, that part had to have been a coincidence. However, Leonard once again was at the center when Sheldon had asked for him to give him a ride after the lecture. He'd rambled off some story, and now that he thought about it, Raj and Howard's excuses were equally nebulous, forcing him to resort to toxic public transportation. He'd almost called Amy, but even he knew asking for a favor was not the way they should reconnect.

It was all starting to make sense—absent friends, flimsy explanations, they'd _planned_ to do this. At some point in time they'd gathered to discuss what they could do to assist him (and probably Amy as well), so they didn't have to dismantle the baby's room. Sheldon sat in a daze, staring out into the dimly lit living room.

"Remarkable," he muttered, still trying to wrap his head around the generosity of his friends. That they would go to these extremes for him, for them, touched a part of him that was seldom reached. Sheldon jumped to his feet and ran across the hall, knocking three times in quick succession.

"Penny and Leonard!"

Leonard opened the door, a smile plastered on his face. "Hello, Sheldon," he said cheerily. "What's up?"

Sheldon lunged forward, wrapping his arms around his friend, giving him a heart-felt hug. "Thank you, Leonard!" It was only mere seconds he'd embraced him, but hopefully he'd managed to convey his gratitude. Stepping back, he asked, "Where's Penny? I want to thank her as well!"

Leonard moved aside so Sheldon could enter the apartment. "She's in the bedroom. I'll go get her. So, you were surprised?"

Sheldon felt as if he was glowing, he was so happy. "You know how I feel about surprises, but this was the best one _EVER_! I can't thank you enough for being my friends!" Before Leonard could retrieve Penny from the bedroom, she walked into the living room, head down looking at her phone.

"What the hell, Leonard? I thought you told me you'd talked to Amy and she agreed not to sign anything until at least Wednesday. I just got a text from her that she signed the lease."

"Honey, look who's here!" Even Sheldon could hear the tone of warning in his voice, as Penny's head jerked up in surprise. They all just stood there, staring at each other, no one willing to be the first to speak.

At length, it was Penny who broke the silence. "It's not what it sounds like. . . ." she said, and it triggered a memory of Penny claiming it "wasn't what it looks like" as she'd emerged from Leonard's bedroom with Raj. It turned out it had been _exactly_ what it had looked like, and so therefore, Penny's announcement meant it was _exactly_ what it sounded like: Amy had rented an apartment and had no intention of coming back to him.

Sheldon could almost feel the rage rising up within him, taking over his body like a demon. Quietly, almost inaudibly, he asked, "How long?"

Penny and Leonard exchanged glances before she wondered, "How long, what?"

"How long have you known?" he clarified, teeth clenched, the words nearly choking him.

"Umm. . . ." Leonard managed.

"HOW LONG?!" Sheldon shouted. Penny and Leonard jumped in unison, and he felt his left eye beginning to twitch uncontrollably.

"Now, Sweetie, it's not as bad. . ."

Sheldon barked out a laugh. "Not as bad as what? Mah wahfe leavin' me? Goin' off and rentin' some place on her own? Not even havin' the _decency_ to speak to me about it?" When his former accent made its way into his speech, Sheldon knew he was beyond upset.

"I'm sure she was going to. . . ." Penny tried.

"When? After all her things were gone?"

Leonard took a step closer to him. "Now Sheldon, just calm down and let us explain. . . ."

Whipping around to face his traitorous friend, Sheldon narrowed his eyes at him. "And you! Claiming to be my friend when all along you _knew_ she was planning on leaving me! Is that why you painted the nursery? To _ease_ me into to the truth? Why did you bother to move her desk when she's just going to move it out again?"

"Sheldon," Leonard practically whined. "Please just have a seat and we'll talk about this!"

"What's there to say? 'sorry I betrayed your trust?' or 'We know you're not man enough to handle the truth so we just kept you in the dark so you wouldn't go off the deep end?' Thank you, Leonard for making life so much more bearable for me."

"Hey look! You used sarcasm!" Leonard said brightly. Penny squeezed his arm.

"You're not helping, Sweetie."

Sheldon paused at the door, then turned to face the couple whose faces were scrunched with worry, and guilt.

"I never want to speak to either of you again! Or Howard, or Bernadette or Raj for that matter. I'm sure you were all in on this!" Crossing the threshold, he slammed the door in his wake.

xxxxxx

"Leonard! What are we going to do?" Penny was wringing her hands as she watched Leonard pacing around the coffee table, running a hand through his hair.

"I have to go talk to him," he said, heading for the door. She took his arm again, holding him back.

"I don't know that's such a good idea. Maybe we should let him calm down a bit."

Leonard was shaking his head. "I don't think, so. He's just going to sit over there, obsessing on this without having all the information. He thinks we purposely kept this from him!"

"Well," Penny hedged, "We kinda did."

"That's only because we thought we could talk her out of it! What was the use upsetting him if she came to her senses and moved back in with him?" Penny sat down on the sofa, her stomach tied in knots. This was the last thing she thought would happen and it was all her fault. If only she'd bothered to look up from her phone, she would have seen Sheldon standing there and not blurted out the damning evidence.

There was a thud against their door, then another, and another. "What the. . . .?" Crossing the room, she opened the outer door just as a pair of boots came sailing into their apartment. Sheldon was standing in his doorway with a look of such fury on his face, it scared her. She'd never seen Sheldon so enraged.

"Sheldon!" she cried. "Stop this!" There were a few more of Leonard's things littering the hallway, and she ducked just in time to avoid being hit by one of Leonard's books.

"I'd close the door if I were you," Sheldon called as he lobed another volley. "You know how bad my aim is!" Penny managed to close off the entrance just in time as another object struck with a thud.

"Bullseye!" Sheldon yelled, then she heard his door slam and the sound of a lock turning.

"I'm going over there," Leonard said, grabbing his key to 4A.

"Leonard! In the mood he's in he's likely to kill you!"

Shrugging his shoulders, moving his head from side-to-side, warming up his muscles like a boxer, Leonard looked over his shoulder at his girlfriend. "Maybe, but I owe it to him to try to make this right. If I don't come back within an hour, call 911."

"For you or for him?"

Leonard took a breath, tugged on the bottom of his hoodie, and opened the door. "It's anyone's guess."

At that moment, Penny felt her phone vibrating in the back pocket of her jeans. Pulling it out, she saw in giant letters: **_WHAT DID YOU TELL HIM?! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND!_**

And just when she thought things couldn't get any worse. . . .

xxxxxx

Sheldon looked up at the banging on his door.

"Sheldon! Open up! I want to talk to you!"

"Well I don't want to talk to you, you. . .Benedict Arnold!" Sheldon shouted from his spot, arms crossed over his chest. He should have known Leonard would come crawling back to him! After all, what was the man without the overwhelming benefits of being able to say he was friends with Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper?

"Sheldon, come on!" Lowering his voice a bit, taking on a placating tone, Leonard tried again. "Hey, we can talk about this, can't we? Buddy?"

"Perhaps you should have considered being honest with me, then you wouldn't find yourself in this position!"

"We weren't hiding anything from you! We just didn't say anything, because up until that text from Amy, we weren't sure she was going to go through with renting an apartment!"

Sheldon was on his feet now, pacing the living room. "But you knew she was thinking about it! You could have told me she was considering it! You tell me every stray thought Koothrappali or Wolowitz has but you couldn't tell me my wife was leaving me?!"

"It didn't seem worth getting you upset if she was going to change her mind!" he yelled through the door. "You've been upset since. . . . well, for awhile now, and so has Amy. Neither one of you is thinking clearly. I _never_ thought she'd go through with it, or I promise you, I would have said something."

Sheldon considered Leonard's words. Normally, he would believe him, but this wasn't a normal situation. It's not like when Leonard used left over take-out containers from their former Chinese restaurant to trick him into thinking their food still came from there. This was so much more. This was deliberately withholding information from him, jeopardizing his relationship with Amy. If he'd known she was thinking about getting an apartment, wouldn't he have tried to stop it?

That brought Sheldon up short. _Would_ he have tried to stop it? Hadn't everyone from his mother on down tried to convince him to go talk to Amy? Hadn't he always come up with some excuse as to why he couldn't? If he knew she was thinking about not coming home, wouldn't he have quoted the Marriage Agreement or even their marriage vows? 'Till death, do they part?

She had committed herself to him and had violated the most basic tenants off all their Agreements—seventy-two hours notice before any action was taken. Where was her email, her text, her certified letter informing him of her intentions? Oh, she was due for much more than a strike, or even a collection of strikes. This was so big he didn't know if he even _had_ a suitable censure for her.

"Sheldon?" He heard Leonard calling him, pulling him from his distracted thoughts. "Are you okay in there?"

"Of course I'm not _okay_!" he snarled. "My wife is moving out and my best friend and his girlfriend are traitors!"

"Sheldon, I'm coming in." He heard some fiddling as a key was fitted into the lock, and Sheldon just smirked. The doorknob jiggled, then turned, but the way was still barred. He heard Leonard's frustrated huff, then his demand.

"Take the deadbolt off."

"No."

"Sheldon!" From his strangled exclamation, Sheldon knew Leonard was at the end of his proverbial rope. He would give up any moment now. No one had the staying power of Sheldon Cooper! He heard the sound of Leonard's palm slamming on the door.

"Fine! Stay in there forever for all I care but don't expect me to give you a ride anywhere when you won't speak to me!"

"Drat," he said to himself, landing back on the sofa. "I hadn't thought of that." Well, he'd managed to utilize the bus system several times this past year, he could do it again.

The silence in the apartment was oppressive, and Sheldon felt his conviction to ostracize his neighbors slipping. He was alone and would be throughout the rest of the night. Probably the rest of his life, he now realized. His anger still felt white-hot in his belly and he couldn't even begin to see things from their perspective. Or from Amy's.

_Why is she doing this to me? I didn't even have a chance to explain how I felt! She's not being fair!_ Still, the creaks and groans of the apartment seemed to have magnified substantially, until it felt as though he was spending the night in a haunted house. The thought of lying down in his bed with nothing between him and death but a cheap deadbolt kept him rooted to his spot.

Grabbing one of the pillows from the couch and clutching it to his chest, Sheldon curled up as best he could in his place on the sofa. If he had to maintain an all-night vigil, so be it. Every once in a while he caught the scent of drying paint and it only served to remind him his home had been violated by so-called friends. What nefarious acts had they been up to when they'd been alone in his apartment, while he'd been waylaid by a conniving University official? If they'd kept silent about Amy's leaving, what else had they been lying to him about?

xxxxxx

It was six a.m. and Sheldon woke with a start. "Amy?" Then reality crashed in, and he realized he'd fallen asleep on the couch after his soul-crushing fight with Penny and Leonard. Amazed he'd slept at all, Sheldon uncurled himself from the uncomfortable position he'd fallen asleep in. His joints creaked and cracked, and there was a stiffness in his neck that was already beginning to give him a headache. He felt awful, in every way.

There was no way he was going into work today. Besides his physical ailments, he wasn't up to running into anyone who'd had a hand in his deception, and that was just about everyone he knew. Reaching for his phone, Sheldon called the University, leaving a voice mail detailing why he would not be at work that day. He was a little surprised he hadn't finished his explanation before he heard a beep cutting him off.

Looking around the apartment, he wasn't sure what he should do next. It wasn't like it was a weekend and he could watch Dr. Who. He had absolutely no appetite, but didn't feel sick, like he should be in bed. He just felt numb. From across the hall he heard sounds of someone, no doubt Leonard, moving around. Any other time he was comforted by the indication his friends were near-by. Today it only served to remind him how he no longer had any friends.

He felt exposed, raw, and utterly at a loss. What was he supposed to do? Amy was the one who guided him, and she was gone. Penny was also a beacon, but he could never allow her into his life again. Even when he'd been at his lowest point in college, he never felt as alone as he did now. He couldn't even call his mother. All she would do was give him a string of "I told you sos".

Sheldon brushed away something wet on his face. _Tears? Why was he crying?_ Looking at his fingers in fascination, he felt more moisture on his face. _Where was all this emotion coming from?_ Before he could even process it, he felt himself beginning to sob, taking in great hiccuping breaths. "Amy! Why won't you come home?"


	35. Chapter 35

**_35_**

Amy made her way up the last set of stairs at her former apartment building, wondering why she was trying to be quiet. She'd talked to Penny for hours last night and they'd reached a fragile truce. Further evidence she could never stay mad at her Bestie. Besides, it was 8:30 in the morning. There was no way Penny would be up at this hour, especially after their late night phone encounter.

Sheldon, too would be absent seeing it was a work day. Penny had told her of Sheldon and Leonard's falling out, and as she took the last step up, Amy pondered how Sheldon had made it to CalTech. _It isn't your concern,_ she told herself. _He managed before you and he'll manage after you._ Still, she felt a twinge of guilt at leaving at this particular time, when Sheldon was cutting himself off from everyone because of her actions. Maybe he wouldn't see it at the moment, but in the long run, she knew he would be happier.

Inserting her key into the lock, Amy was surprised when she still felt resistance. Then she realized he must have locked the deadbolt before heading off. One of Sheldon's peculiarities was his insistence the locks be changed every six months. He'd just swapped them out prior to her. . ._miscarriage,_ her mind supplied. _ She had to get used to the word._ Pulling out a second key, she retracted the heavy duty lock. Cautiously, she opened the door, stepping inside. The temperature was cool, but not uncomfortable.

Walking further into the room, Amy thought she could smell paint, and remembered Penny telling her how the whole debacle with Sheldon had started. Last night she'd been too upset with her friend for springing the news of her pending departure on Sheldon, to recognize the thoughtful gift her social circle had given them. Now she was curious to see what changes they'd wrought.

Just as she made it to the sofa, Amy heard the sound of the shower being turned off. _Ohmigod! Is Sheldon _here?!" Quickly looking around, she decided her best move would be to get out of the apartment and try to get some of her things at a later time. She was almost to the door when she heard her name.

"Amy? What are you doing here?"

Slowly turning around, Amy tried not to feel like an intruder in what used to be her home. Her first sight of Sheldon in weeks knocked the breath from her. He was standing at the end of the hallway with just a towel slung low on his hips. Amy swallowed. _God, he looks amazing_ was her first thought. In the past few weeks, she'd forgotten how attractive he was. Then she began to notice the little things, the bags under his eyes, the way he appeared even leaner than before, his face almost gaunt. Still, at the mere sight of him, her body reacted to him. The quiver in her stomach wasn't just nerves.

They stared at each other, neither seeming capable of speech. Finally, Sheldon's voice a hoarse whisper, asked again, "What are you doing here?"

"Ummm. . . ." She couldn't seem to articulate why she was standing in his living room.

"How did you get in? I had the deadbolt on."

"I know," she said, grateful to have something she could answer. "I used the second key," Amy said, holding up her keyring.

Sheldon just nodded. "I'm glad I hadn't gotten around to giving Leonard that one." Amy was confused by his statement, but it was the least of her worries at the moment.

"I. . .I thought you'd be gone," she practically whispered.

Sheldon crossed his arms over his chest. "I gathered that. So why are you here? Come to steal my things when you thought I would be at work?"

Amy still hadn't moved from her position near the door. "I did think you would be at work, but I didn't come to steal your things. I. . .I came for some of mine."

"I see," he said, tying the towel tighter and sauntering into the kitchen. "And you thought you could just sneak in here like you snuck off and rented your own apartment." The tone of his voice was bitter, condemning.

"I. . .Uh. . . ."

"There's no use in denying it. I got it straight from your _friends._" Amy didn't miss the use of the word "your" rather than "our."

"Sheldon," she sighed, taking a step closer. "I was going to tell you, I just wanted to wait for the right time."

"And when might that be? When you had taken all your things?" He stalked back and forth behind the kitchen island, working himself up even further. "I haven't seen you since you lost the baby and this is how we meet?"

Amy started at his words, feeling her own anger rising. Taking a few steps closer she said, "And how many times did _you_ try to see _me_?"

"We text all the time!" he cried.

"It's not the same and you know it!" Again they were frozen in place, staring at each other, their breathing elevated. "I'm trying to give you your life back," she finally said, her voice cracking with emotion.

"Oh, and you know what it is I want?" he taunted. "A degree in neurobiology makes you a mind reader? You never asked me how _I_ felt about the baby, you just assumed and made decisions for both of us."

"Sheldon, you can't deny you didn't want to marry me. You asked me because you thought it was what was expected of you." He was pacing again and had moved out of the kitchen area, closer to her. Unconsciously, Amy found herself taking a step backwards as he tried to close the gap between them.

"Well, since you've figured out what I want, why don't you let me help you pack." Sheldon walked over to a book shelf, and with a sweeping motion, gathered a stack of bound volumes, carrying them back to the coffee table. He slammed them down so hard, Amy was surprised the glass didn't break. She jumped at the sound they made. He made a show of retuning to the book shelves and picking up figurines one by one, dumping an armload of them onto the table next to the books. "Oh, I'm sure you don't want this one," he said, taking back a monkey dressed in a hula costume. "I gave you that one." He tossed it over his shoulder and Amy heard it shatter on the wood floor. He began searching the room for more of her items, when she stepped forward, grabbing him by the arm.

"Sheldon, stop this! You're acting like a child!"

"Oh, _I'm _acting like a child. Who went out and rented an apartment without telling me? Who told everyone _but _me? You do realize every action you've taken is a violation of _all_ the agreements you've ever signed."

Angered by his immature behavior, Amy moved even closer, getting in his face. "_This_ is why I didn't tell you, Sheldon! Because I _knew _this is how you'd react!"

Sheldon was shaking his head back and forth. "There you go with that mind reading again." His condescension was like tossing gasoline onto an already blazing inferno. "How was it you wanted me to react? Happy you're leaving me?"

"Frankly, yes! You can have your life back!" Amy closed her eyes and inhaled, trying to calm herself. "It's not that I don't want to see you. I thought if we did a reset, went back to our date nights, everything could go back to when you were happy."

Sheldon was now giving her a puzzled look. "Why do you think I wasn't happy? I mean since the baby. . . I. . .I haven't been happy, but what about before? Didn't you like living with me?"

Now his words completely deflated her. "Oh, Sheldon. Of course I loved living with you. I love _all_ the little things. Making meals together, driving to work, waking up with your arms wrapped around me. . . ." Amy felt her face heating up, and found she couldn't meet his gaze.

Sheldon's voice dropped in volume. "And you don't think I enjoyed that as well? Let me tell you, after having you here, Leonard left a lot to be desired as a roommate."

She looked up at that. "But I know you missed living with him! You were always telling me I did things differently than Leonard, and that you liked the way he did them."

Nodding, Sheldon agreed. "I know I said that. I suppose it was just because it was a different routine. But then I got used to how you made French toast and didn't like the way he did it." He looked down. "Leonard said if he heard 'Amy does it this way' one more time he was walking out the door and never coming back."

Amy felt a bubble of happiness start to expand in her chest. Smiling slightly, she said, "Really?"

"Really." They were standing in the living room with Sheldon in a state of undress, damp hair drying into slight curls, and Amy had the overwhelming desire to run her fingers through it. But this wasn't over. She still believed most of Sheldon's words were aimed at getting her to return as his help mate. She didn't want that. She wanted to be his wife. Not only the person he turned to first and foremost when he needed someone to talk to, but someone who loved her and could make love to her. She wasn't sure Sheldon could do that. Maybe he'd never be able to, and she had to face facts. No amount of wishful thinking was going to turn him into her fantasy, even if her expectations weren't unreasonable.

"Sheldon, why don't you just admit we made a mistake by getting married? I understood and agreed with your arguments at the time, but the reason no longer exists." Amy was still clutching the strap of her purse as she dropped down to the sofa, swallowing back the pain she felt at the thought of her lost child. _Their _lost child. For a moment she experienced a feeling of deja vu, but she _had_ lived through this scene before. Other than Sheldon's lack of clothing, it reminded her a lot of their confrontation when she'd told him she was pregnant.

"I'm not giving up," he said with resolve. "I never give up, and I won't now." He took his place beside her, staring deeply into her eyes.

Amy sighed. "Sheldon, what's the point? None of our friends are going to hold it against us and. . ."

"I don't care what they think! Those people are no longer my friends." He jumped to his feet, walking back into the kitchen, rescuing the tea kettle just before it started its shrill whistle. As he went about fixing his tea, Amy was surprised he didn't offer her any. She waited for him to bring her a cup, but when it became evident he had no intention of giving her one, she asked,

"Shouldn't you be offering me some tea as well? I think this qualifies as an upsetting situation."

"Yes, it does," he said, making a show of blowing on the liquid in his mug. "That's why I'm having tea. You broke into my home. I'm not in the habit of making a hot beverage for someone breaking and entering." He was back to being petulant and she was too overwrought to deal with his ridiculous behavior. Pulling her purse off, she set it on the coffee table next to the things Sheldon had already stacked there. He watched her actions until she began making her way to the back bedrooms. Setting down his cup, Sheldon took a few running steps to block her path.

"Where do you think you're going?"

Expelling yet another breath, Amy gave him a baleful stare. "To the bedroom to get my things. That is unless you've already thrown them out the window in a fit of pique."

"That would be childish."

Amy grunted a short laugh. "Yeah, exactly." She started to push forward again, but Sheldon refused to budge, arms crossed over his chest. "Sheldon, come on. I'm busy at work and I only have today to move and. . ." His hands took her by the upper arms and suddenly his lips were on hers, stopping her words and her protest. Shocked, it took Amy a moment to realize he was kissing her and she couldn't decide if she wanted to continue it, or angry he was trying to use her attraction to him against her.

He didn't back off. In fact, he took a step closer, wrapping his arms around her, deepening the kiss. Amy found her resolve weakening. It would only be a matter of seconds before she was swept away on the tide of her emotions and began kissing him back. She'd missed him so much and to be in his arms, feeling the heat radiating from his chest, the scent of just-washed skin overwhelming her, Amy was lost. She wasn't sure which of them moaned; it could have been either or both.

Sheldon's lips left hers, but he didn't step back. Instead he rested his forehead against hers, breathing heavily . "Don't go. _Please_ don't go, Amy." She was frozen in place, still dazed from their sudden contact. Slowly opening her eyes, Amy noted the intensity of his gaze. She watched his tongue dart out and lick his lips. Swallowing, he said, "I. . . I love you."

Amy pushed against his chest, trying to escape his embrace. "Of all the low-down, emotional blackmail tactics. . . .!" her voice trailed off, too stunned to articulate how hurt and betrayed she felt. Sheldon _knew_ how she longed to hear the words. To hear him supposedly confess his love for her at a time like this seemed like the most heinous crime he could commit.

"Amy, no!" he cried, gripping her tighter to prevent her escape. "I _do_ love you!" Amy struggled to get him to release her and took a step back.

"Really, Sheldon? And just when did you come to this conclusion? When you were trying so hard to avoid me? Or just now when you saw your only mode of transportation making a move to leave?"

Sheldon's head dropped, gaze fixed on the floor. "I didn't mean to tell you like that. I _knew_ you'd take it the wrong way."

"And how was it you wanted me to take it?"

Looking up, Sheldon didn't shrink from her hard stare. "I wanted you to know how much you mean to me." He walked past her, back into the living room where he began picking up pieces of the broken monkey figurine. "You know me. Everything about our relationship is new territory. I keep hearing everyone toss around the endearment of 'I love you,' but it means nothing. Just a set of words people say to each other, often without really meaning them."

Amy turned, then stepped down into the living room, crouching beside Sheldon, helping to pick up pieces of china scattered across the floor. "Yeah, they do," she admitted quietly.

Sheldon was still focused on his task when he added, "I didn't want to do that. If I ever said those words to you, I wanted to mean them. But how would I know if I meant them?" he asked, looking up at her. "I love my Meemaw, and my mother. Mostly because they're family and you have to love your family."

Amy gave him a slight smile, and thought of her own tempestuous relationship with her mother. Anita drove her crazy, but if asked, Amy supposed she would say she loved her mother. She didn't want Sheldon to have that sort of feeling towards her.

"But what I feel when I think of you isn't like that." Now color was beginning to suffuse Sheldon's cheeks. "I get excited when I think of you," he said. "And it feels funny, right here," he added, pointing to his stomach. "Thinking about the next time I'm going to see you makes me smile. How I can't wait to share every discovery with you, knowing you'll be as delighted as I am. So, if one is to believe what sappy love songs proclaim: not being able to breathe when the object of one's affection has gone away; to feel as though a part of me is missing when you're not here; to feel like I'm in a room without my spot; that my life is an equation that won't balance; I have come to the conclusion that I _am_ in love with you, Amy Farrah Fowler. Because you _are _my spot, and I feel all those things when you're not here."

Amy was speechless. Never had she expected such a heart-felt confession from Sheldon, and she couldn't help the tiny, ironic grin quirking up the corners of her mouth. He might have been picking up porcelain shards from the floor, but he'd made his declaration on bended knee. She'd certainly never expected it. It was more than she could ever have hoped for.

Amy had to clear her throat in order to speak. "Cooper," she said, standing, taking his hand to help him up. At his quizzical expression, she clarified, enunciating each word. "Amy. Farrah. Fowler. Cooper." She took the broken pottery from him, depositing their combined pieces in the trash. Facing him once more, Sheldon's eyes brightened.

"Does. . .does that mean you're staying?"

Taking a moment to look around the apartment at all she would be forfeiting, Amy knew it wasn't much of a choice. A bestie across the hall, friends who were more like extended family and a man who loved her and had just proclaimed that love. She might be impetuous, but she wasn't stupid.

Still grasping his hand, Amy closed the distance until there was barely a breath between them. "Yes, Sheldon, I'll stay." She kissed him then, to seal the deal. She'd only intended it to be a quick peck, but Sheldon was having none of it. He grabbed her, pulling her hard up against him, deepening the kiss on his own. Amy sighed, and he took the advantage she offered him, invading her mouth.

Amy felt as if she was drowning. She hadn't realized how desperately she'd been missing him until his tongue was mingling with her own. Everything became hazy in that moment, but still centered on him, as her world distilled down to the man before her, driving her insane with his lips. Soon hands were added to the mix and they seemed to be everywhere on her body at once, igniting longings she was sure she would never feel again.

Her knees were weak and Amy wasn't sure they would support her for much longer. Hopefully, they wouldn't have to.

Trailing kisses across his cheek, she whispered in his ear, "If only I knew someone smart enough to get me out of my lease." Sheldon grabbed her bottom then, pulling her even tighter up against him as he chuckled,

"Oh, Amy. Certainly you know those paper jockeys are no match for the likes of Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

Amy returned the gesture, taking a handful of Sheldon's firm behind before her fingers ran up along the expanse of his bare back, causing him to shiver.

"No one ever is," she agreed. And then she took him by the hand, leading him to the back of the apartment, and their room.

xxxxxx

**_Epilogue—two years later_**

Penny stood in the lobby of the apartment building, juggling a plastic bag of groceries while digging into her jeans for the mailbox key. Inserting it into the lock, she withdrew an abundance of envelopes and flyers, most of which were trash. Setting down her food, Penny began sorting through the mail, discarding it either into the regular trash, or the bin used for recycling. There was an official looking letter for Leonard, post cards for each of them reminding them to schedule appointments, and a small ivory colored envelope addressed to them both. Tossing the legitimate mail into the grocery sack, Penny opened up the square envelope.

Even before the flap was lifted, she knew what it contained, and smiled at Sheldon's insistence tradition be adhered to. Pulling out a card that matched the envelope, two photos fell out onto the tiled floor. Picking them up, Penny's grin widened. The first picture was of a newborn. As with any infant, it was difficult to tell if the baby was a boy or a girl, but the writing on the back of the picture was helpful. _Sally—our little Benign Overlord. _Penny was already more than aware Amy and Sheldon had had a daughter, since "Sallzbug" was now three months old.

She remembered hearing the arguing from across the hall when Amy tried to convince Sheldon it wasn't necessary to send out birth announcements, especially when everyone who mattered had been informed of the event. Sheldon insisted, since he claimed becoming a father was his greatest achievement _to date._ Which likely meant they'd be receiving a similar announcement when Sheldon was awarded his coveted Nobel Prize.

The second photo was a family shot she knew Raj had taken. None of their group had seen it and Raj promised to show it to everyone at the appropriate time. Apparently this was it. Gazing at the picture, Penny's hand went to her chest, covering her heart, as she blinked back tears.

Sheldon and Amy were standing side-by-side, with Sheldon holding his daughter by supporting her bottom with one hand and another around her chest so she could face the camera. Amy's arm was behind Sheldon's back, her right hand resting on his hip, and the camera flash had winked on Amy's necklace. Just the fact they were posed like that proved to Penny how much they had grown as a couple. Not to mention the evidence Sheldon held in his arms. Amy was beaming, as she'd been pretty much since Sally had been born.

Amy's second pregnancy had gone smoother than the first, but the constant dread something could go wrong had everyone exhausted. In the picture, Sheldon too was grinning. A mixture of his "koala face" and "going to the train store" smiles. He looked as if nothing in the world could be better than that moment which Raj had captured.

Tucking the photos back into the announcement, Penny replaced the card in its envelope. The pictures were definitely going on their refrigerator, next to the images of Howard and Bernadette's son. Lately she'd been feeling the unspoken pressure from her friends to join them in parenthood, but she still didn't feel ready. Leonard was being infinitely patient, but she knew if their birth control failed, he wouldn't be the least bit upset.

Picking up her bag, Penny began the ascent to the forth floor, her thoughts shifting once more to her neighbors. It had taken Sheldon a while to forgive the group of friends for what he'd seen as their betrayal, but with Amy's prodding, then demand that he "get over it," Sheldon relented and welcomed them all back into 4A. Howard wondered why they _wanted_ to come back with Sheldon's dictates, but upon being reinstated as friends, Penny felt things had slid back into their rightful place in the Universe.

Sheldon, Amy and Sally would never be the typical American family. Their's had been a trial by fire, but now her friends were beyond happy. After many, _many _ups and downs, they'd finally reached their inevitable conclusion: the birth of Sally Ride Fowler-Cooper, physical proof of their love.

The End 

_**A/N: Thank you for reading and all your reviews. I especially wish to thank the guest reviewers whom I wasn't able to contact, but I wanted to express that your thoughts were very much appreciated. Until next time. . . .**_


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